Crisp and Cold Winter Days

What wondrous things happen when you are present, my dear Friend and King. You are the most awesome God and I thank you and praise you for all you have done for me. Help me to know you and love you more and more.

I am continually inspired by the fantastic landscapes you provide me with. I hope to be able to improve my photo taking abilities to do justice to the incredible views you give me.

Driving home this evening, I glanced out the window and the starry sky was so crisp and clear. It reminded me of the carol, "It came upon a Midnight Clear." Although the picture here looks like clouds covering the mountain, it is actually snow blowing from the heights and it is incredibly beautiful.

When my daughter and her family were here yesterday, I thought to ask them to participate in the Companion Saints but didn't get around to it, so asking for the Holy Spirit's guidance, I drew the names of the Saints who have chosen them to be companions for the upcoming year. I hope to give them to the kids as a gift of the Christmas season. I pray they will be touched by the idea and pray also that they use the opportunity to learn more of the saints and how they are there to help us. Thank you for each of them and I ask that the kids hearts will be prepared to receive the Good News of your coming. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share this special gift from you with them. Of course the saints are gifts from you and they help us to know and love you more and more. It is a fantastic system, really.

I was listening to the CDs from the Mary Foundation about confession. I must prepare my heart for your coming as well and it was a good opportunity for me to examine my conscience. I need you to heal my woundedness as I make my confession, so please help me to make an honest and complete confession in preparation for your coming.

Thank you Lord for all your blessings. Help me to share them with those most in need.

My child--

How I love you. I have loved you from the beginning of all time and will love you throughout all eternity. I am head over heels in love with you and you delight me in wanting to know and love me more and more. I truly have great need of you and your gifts and please know that I am working out my plans for you. I want my plans to come to fruition more than you can know or anticipate and you will be so delighted and joyous, it makes my heart sing to think of how I will delight you. You have much to do this week in preparation for my coming and I will be with you throughout it all, so have no thought of stress or anxiety. I want you to feel the peace and love of the season and not the hectic rush that so often accompanies the secular preparations for Christmas. Go always in my peace and love and we will accomplish mighty things.

Lord, thank you for your infinite care of me. I love you and worship you and give you thanks and praise. Help me to always give glory to you and to reflect you in all I say and do that I might be a light to all who are seeking to know you.

Counting my Blessings

Thank you Lord, for your many blessings of this day, especially the blessing of my beautiful daughter and her family. I love them so much and thank you for the light they shine in my life.
Forgive me for not making the effort last night to write anything. I apologize to you for my failure to overcome my tiredness....much as the apostles must have felt during your agony in the Garden. I simply could not keep myself awake long enough to write anything. Or at least I made excuses and went to bed.
Lord, please bless my son this day as he tries to complete his journey homeward after having a vehicle breakdown. Please smooth the path for him as he and his wife head home to their children.
Bless my other son and his wife as they fight for their country in the armed services. You take very good care of me, Lord. Please bless my family as well and guide them to you.

Losing Peace

Well, tonight I really lost it, Lord, and spewed forth such a load of anger and profanity about nothing. I lost my peace and I couldn't help but rage angrily about the dogs and the fryer accident and I just really unloaded a ton of garbage into the air as I screamed and cursed and really let it out. I am so sorry for the ugliness I allowed to destroy the peace I have been feeling lately. Forgive me for letting these minor things bother me so much.


I am so saddened by my behavior and apologize to you for it. Even though I was raging about the incidents, I was really angry about my husband's drinking. I don't know why he allows himself to be so stupid and get so drunk every day. He did so good for so long and I get so truly angry with him when he is drunk. It was because of alcohol that both incidents happened and I wanted to scream and punch him for being so drunk and so stupid. Forgive me for that and grant me the grace to love him enough to do whatever your will for him is. I know you don't want him addicted to alcohol. Please help me to help him, Lord, whatever it takes.

On to brighter subjects. I so enjoyed the Our Lady of Guadalupe festivities last night. It was an eye opener to attend Mass that was primarily celebrated in a foreign language. I have always had the privilege of having it celebrated in the language I can understand. I did attend Mass several times in my childhood, before my conversion, and those Masses were in Latin, but once I was baptized, I have always attended English Masses. I know there is quite a furor among American churches to have it in Latin and the Holy Father has clarified the church's position on it, opening the way for Mass to be celebrated in Latin more often. While I could enjoy sometimes a Mass in Latin, I mostly feel and think that I participate more fully when I can understand the words being spoken. Some people are so adamant about this, Lord and the strength of their fervor about it stuns me. I don't know if I am missing out on something by not wanting the celebration to be held in Latin. How can this be such a stumbling block for peeople?Is it not worship whatever language it is celebrated in? And the same for music. Some of the things I have read are criticisms of music being sung and instruments used, etc. I have always thought that singing is worship and if that is the intent--to offer thanks and praise to you, it doesn't matter what the instrument or what songs are being sung. Am I wrong about these things, Lord?
What does Our Lady of Guadalupe think of this? The music by the Mariachi band was certainly festive and I know it must have gladdened her heart as we prepare more thoroughly for the coming of Jesus. Does the type of music really matter or the language?

My beloved one-
I am sorry that you allowed little things to so disturb your peace and that you got so angry about them. I know the cause of your anger is directed toward your husband's weakness and I hurt for you. Yet I say to you, judge not. You have your own sins and faults. Work on yourself before you try to change anyone else. Usually you will find that when you focus on eliminating the things in you that you need to fix, you will be less inclined to be disturbed by another's weaknesses and failings. I hear your anguish and know that I will do all in my power to help but also remember free will and know that nagging and berating someone for a character flaw or physical addiction is not going to help that person. Do not judge and do no harm. Pray about it and know that I will do the very best for the both of you. Keep on praying for him and rest in my love when you are tempted to violence in this matter. It is something you need to work on and once you have overcome the tendency to judge and scold, you will have power to effect change.
Worship is from the heart and that is the language I hear--the heart's song and words. If your intent is to worship me, then regardless of the language or the music, it will be worship. I am the author of all language and so do not let these matters deter you from the worship of me deep within your heart. As for music, I love the sound of my people lifting up their hearts and voices to me in prayer, praise and song. Remember that worship should be respectful and that God should be the center and then forget any other controversies. If it comes from the heart it is genuine worship and that is what I long for more than anything else. The formality of religious expressions must have heart or it is empty and meaningless, yet structure is also required. Continue to speak with me in your heart and rejoice that I am there, deep within your heart and soul and living in the hearthome of love we have created in you. It is there that you need to look when things get tough and you lose your peace. It is there that the songs of worship must spring forth from...as naturally as light from a candle. Do not get caught up in these bickering contests about which song I like better.
My child I love you and forgive you your anger of this night. Continue to seek to be more obedient and loving and I will bless your efforts. Know that I am with you in all things and will not abandon you. You are precious to me and I cherish you. Go in peace and love.

Visions and Dreams

I have been having the most interesting image flash through my mind. I am flying and a person is attached to me....dragging me down. I release this person and watch as he falls while I continue on with my flight, unhindered by the additional burden.
I am puzzled by it, of course and wish to know what it means. Does it mean exactly what it seems to mean and I actually do let a person fall to their apparent death so that I might soar higher? Or does it mean that I have been kept from soaring higher because I was trying to bear too much weight and now that I have released the burden of this person, I can go on to achieve what my heart desires? Or a combination of both? On one hand, I am bothered that I feel so little compassion for the person falling from a distance above the earth and on the other hand I feel relieved that I no longer bear a burden too heavy for me and can now go on to where I feel called to go. And one more thing to think about is that I really don't know what happens to the burden once I release it as it falls below the cloud cover and I can no longer see. So, it is entirely possible that the person sprouts wings and begins to fly himself, no longer hindered by my packing him around when he should be flying himself anyway.
Anyway, it was vivid and came to me twice, so I think it must be you telling me something in a visual way. I just hope I get the interpretation of it correct in what I feel compelled to do now.

On other fronts, I'm sure that I will be the big baddie at work tomorrow when the gang all gets together to discuss the happenings of the day. I guess it is part of the plan to sever ties that bind and that fits with the vision as well. Severing the ties that bind us to burdens we are no longer capable of bearing now seems a good way to describe the vision, for that is what it appears to be.
I guess I will just be as happy and joyful as I can be while trying to do your will, Lord. Thank you for the trials this day and for the help you are giving me to overcome my faults and failings. I ask that you do not cause the people with whom I work to suffer needlessly because of them and I ask you to bless them with whatever they need to understand me and deal with the change taking place.

Hello my dear one,
You seem to have much more energy tonight and I am thankful that you thought again to speak with me in this manner. Yes, the vision is from me and I want you to know that I do have things planned for you that will require you to let go of things you have previously valued and cherished. You needn't bear the burden any longer and you needn't fear the outcome of this letting go. Continue to strive daily to do my will and to love each of those with whom you come in contact. Pray for them as you feel necessary and do not let little outcomes like today disturb your peace. Stop immediately when you feel the pressure and pray for those who are stressing you. You have done this in the past with people who disturb your peace and I want you to resume the practice. It bears as much fruit for you as it does for them, so do not fear to be generous in this regard. Trust me in this. Know I do have plans for you and I am working to bring them to fruition as soon as possible. Until then, you must continue to prepare as the task ahead will be daunting and challenging but very rewarding.
Go now and rest and I will bless your sleep with sweet dreams. I love you, precious child.

Disappointing my Friend

Thank you Lord, for the blessings of this day. Thank you for shielding me from hurt when I discovered something about the son of a friend and how that knowledge pertained to me.

Forgive me for trying to excuse myself from the committment I made in my heart to do this for you as a gift. I had thought to excuse myself because I have been so tired lately and was just going to go to bed without writing a little something to you today. But you kept after me until I got up and I am delighted that you did.

I don't know what you have done in regards to the matter that has so plagued my thoughts lately but I do know that you have done something because of the lightheartedness I feel in my heart. Whatever else you have done, you have also lifted the burden of it from me and I give you thanks and praise. I am so sorry that I was only thinking of myself--especially after you have done this deed for me. Forgive me, my friend. I apologize to you for not keeping to my schedule. I will strive to do better.

Do not fear, Little one, I am with you still. You listen to me in the depths of your heart and that is such a gift to me that you cannot know. I was disappointed that you sought to go to bed without our nightly conversation, but I am happy that you have risen to spend this time with me before retiring. You are in training and will benefit much from this time spent with me. Go now and rest. Our day today begins early. Thank you for being my friend.

Deepening Winter

Thank you so very much for the snow, Lord. From it and the stores that accumulate during the cold winter months, we get the life giving water that nourishes our beautiful little valley and feeds the river.

How I long to know you better, my Lord and my King and to do your will in all things. I long to do great things for you, actually and do hope you have a plan for the rest of my life.

I am at the point where I look for a change and hope that we can journey together into a different aspect of the world where you have allowed me to live.

Thank you for my family and the people I number as friends. They are precious to me. Thank you for the faith community you have blessed us with. Mostly, thank you for Jesus and Mary and the Holy Spirit and the angels and saints and Pope Benedict XVI and also for Pope John Paul II.

Watching the movie of JPII's life last night with my beautiful friend and prayer partner, I was struck by how much he accomplished in his life. All because he was obedient to you and did as you commanded him. Teach me obedience, Lord, immediate and total obedience to your will in all things.

Thank you also for the people who vex me and with whom I struggle to be charitable and kind. I know you have allowed them to be a part of my life as well and I thank you for that. Please pour out the graces I need to deal with them as you will.

Thank you for the dogs who are pets to me and help me to be a better master to them. They are such wonderful and devoted friends and I thank you for them.

Ah, my Lord. Thank you for all the blessing you have bestowed on me. Help me, now, to pass those blessings along to others, willingly and lovingly and generously as you are all those things with me. Forgive me for when I want to be stingy with blessing and all things. I do you no honor by being so selfish. Help me to be victorious again, Lord. I love you.

Good evening my sweet one--

Thank you for taking the time this evening to be with me and to share your thoughts and prayers of praise and thanksgiving. You are learning obedience and are also being trained for the work I have ahead of you. Do not fear, I will do what is best for you. Do you trust me in this? As you prepare your heart, soul and body for the upcoming challenges I have planned for you, give me thanks and praise for the outcome of this training. It will lead to your heart's desire and you will rejoice that you have listened to me and done as I commanded. My child, I know your struggles and your faults and failings. Do not fear. We are working on them and as you become more devoted to me and more obedient, these things that trouble you now will simply fade away.

Do not doubt that he who speaks to you is I, your Lord and King. You have surrendered your heart to me and I will care for it gently and greatly. It is an awesome gift and I thank you for it. I would not let something damage that, so do not fear but go in peace to love me and serve me. I am guiding you and will guide you in all things. I cherish you and you are special to me. Never think that I disount you for I do not. You will do great things for me, my child. You are blessed in my sight and I will never forsake you.

The Light of the World

Winter is upon us in full force and it is always a comfort during these dark and shortened days to remember that the Light of the world is coming soon.
Thank you, Almighty Father, for the love of your son and for all the blessings you have poured out upon this world. Forgive us for the sins we have committed against this most wonderful and gracious love and inspire us to do better and to recognize you when you are among us.
The daily readings showed that you can give sight to the blind. Make me see, Lord, your goodness and love in my life and all that I have to be thankful for. Make me see what I can do to help spread you love into the unlovely places of the world and grant me the graces I will need to get it done. I know I have been so blinded by my own selfish wants and desires that I so often overlook your presence right before me. Forgive me for that and help me never to look past you again.

I have had inklings about the new direction you are taking me and I hope to be prepared for it but I am not sure if it is your will or once again, my own will, and so I pray that I might always know and do your will. Help me to do what it is you need of me and not to fear or doubt. I love you.

Precious Child-
How I love you. You have always been precious and beautiful to me, even when you have spoiled the goodness of your soul by ugliness. Do not fret about anything for I am your God and I am King of the Universe. As the Psalmist has said, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom should I fear?" You need not fear anything, my sweet one. I have all planned for you and as long as you are obedient to the commands of your heart that I place in our home of love, you will be doing my will. Do not doubt that I am with you, guiding and guarding you and leading you to where I would have you. Be at peace and rejoice for your salvation draws nigh.

My Daily Duty

I guess I can start while the picture is downloading. I had a pretty good day today as I went through my day. I love starting the day off reading of You and your friends--the angels and saints and all the people who have been eternally remembered in the Bible.

When I go to work, my day becomes more focused on the people I serve and the people I work with. I am finding that it is easier to deal with all of them when I first spend time with you, even though I arrive at work later than the others. I used to resent the fact that co-workers hang out together chatting before I get there. Then I realized that I hang out and chat with You and your friends and it pleases me to be able to do that. I love coming before You in the Tabernacle, allowing you to flood me with your light and love while I prepare for the world. I do feel the need to prepare for it, though and I wonder how I am doing from your point of view.

As I was once again resenting the fact that I am not invited to the birthday party, I realized that my anger and resentment were things I am picking up from the one planning the party. It is that person who is sending me resentful and angry thoughts and feelings. I suspect I am picking up on it because you want me to pray for this person. I resisted at first, afraid that my prayers will be answered and you will bless this person more than you bless me. I am sorry for this selfish attitude. Help me to overcome it and to desire your fullest blessing poured out on these people. Forgive me for this selfishness.

But could you please also bless me with something here? I have so wanted to be recognized for what you have done in answer to my prayers. Forgive me for that as well. I realize I should be telling the stories of how you have answered my prayers and shouting it from the rooftops. I wish I was more of a shouter sometimes. I prefer to write most all the time, though. I guess it doesn't have the same impact as being an effective speaker.

Anyway, once I realized that my resentments were coming from outside, it was easy for me to ask that your love be reflected back upon the sender of these ill thoughts. I won't go into why there are ill thoughts and feelings, because I am sure that fault and failings with me can be found there as well.

One of the things I did do today was to a little research on St. Rose of Lima who chose me to be a companion this upcoming year. At an early age she began fasting and also doing severe penance for her vanities. Perhaps that is something you are telling me I need to be concerned about--my vanities. When people spoke of her beauty, she scarred herself and cut off her hair so as not to be complimented on these things. Forgive me my vanity and teach me how to be more like St. Rose of Lima as I go through the year and as I strive to change my physical appearance.

I don't think I can ever be as sacrificing as she...but you never know. All things are possible with my Lord and God. I guess if that is what you are asking of me, we really have a lot of work to do.

Is there anything you would speak to my heart this night, Lord? I long to hear your voice.

Oh my sweet one--

Blessed child that you are. I love to hear from you and love to see the growth in your soul. It is the beauty of St. Rose's soul that is important to me. As she felt the need to do severe penances, her soul became cleansed of those things marring it and making it unclean. Your own soul is

being cleansed. Each of my children and disciples is different, requiring different disciplines.

Do not fret. You are being led and guided into the path chosen for you. The Saints who chose you as companion have much to show you and teach you...and they just want to get to know you as you are getting to know them. Be not afraid of where they take you or what they have to teach you. They know your future and are doing my will in preparing you for it. You have asked for friends and these are some of the friends who want to share your life in Me. You will have whatever you need when the time comes for you to know more of what the future holds.

Last night you agreed to come with me whereever the road takes us. Is that what you want tonight as well?

Oh yes, Lord. Of course I want to go with you, wherever the road may lead. I try not to doubt or fear, so please help me with those things.

I do help you and will help you. And I will give you a precious blessing in regards to the matter in your heart. You will recognize it and rejoice. Go in peace my sweet child. Do not fear. We love you and rejoice in your life. Sleep easy, my child.

Letting Go

Lord, I have been having such a difficult time getting logged on and getting my computer to do what I need it to. I uninstalled a number of programs and now I have to reinstall them but Oh my, I was having a very difficult time.

Today was an interesting one for me as I finally made the determination that regardless of what I do or don't do, certain people are always going to discount me. So, I am actually going to let go of whatever I was expecting and just enjoy the journey with you as you take me to where you want me to go, my Lord and King

Thank you so very much for allowing me to realize that I will never be what I want to be to some people in my life, so I might just as well quit trying and look at what you want me to accomplish. You are wonderful and mighty and I know you are with me always protecting me and guiding me and allowing me these perceptions. You do have something that you want me to do for you and it may bring me suffering and pain, but it will be suffering and pain for Your Glory, my Lord and I thank you for that.

Tonight with my parish ladies, we allowed your Saints to choose us as companions for the year. The Saints who chose me were St. Rose of Lima and St. Thomas More and of course, St. Andrew had chosen me when I first came upon the site.

So, I am looking forward to getting to know these Saints better, my Lord, and seeing where you want us to go.

Thank you for this day and for the protections you surround me with. I didnt' realize until this day that I am being attacked by those who would wish me ill because of things in the past. So, I ask for your guidance and protection and ask that you surround me with your Reflecting love that it might reflect back upon those who would wish me ill.

My sweet one-

You are indeed precious to me and I have been guiding you for so many years. I know it would have hurt you had you previously known the depth of some people's disregard for you, so I shielded you from it. Now that you are willing to let go, I can show you the truth of the matter and also how much I have loved and protected you throughout. So, are you ready to journey with me to new and unknown places? You will be with me always and I will guard and guide you where I need you and want you to be. It is an act of faith and may cause you some discomforting moments, but the end result will be so much more than you could ever realize where you now are. It will encompass many aspects of my Divine Life, including pain and suffering, so I want you to think about it and pray about it. Know that it will be a journey of love with me, however and I will never forsake you or discount you. I love you and want you to say yes.

Oh my Lord,

I do say yes to whatever you have in mind for me. I am not afraid and even though there may be times that I will be afraid, I am counting on you to guide me and guard me and get me through whatever you have in store for me. I am excited to begin the journey and pray that things will happen rapidly now that I have committed myself to you and Your Divine Love and Mercy. Thank you for loving me and caring for me.

Companion Saints

As I was reading the monthly message from Our Lady of Medjugorje recently, I happened across a bit by Sister Emmanuel about companion saints.

She asks that we download the list of Saints and then fold each piece of paper with the Saints name and prayer commission on it.

Tradition has it that the Saint you choose from the folded slips of paper has actually chosen you and you are to spend the year getting to know that Saint.

It really appealed to me, as you know, Lord in that the Saint who chose me is St. Andrew--your beloved first Apostle and brother to St. Peter. I am thrilled with the idea of getting to know a Saint better and have done as Sr. asked and prepared the slips of paper to share with my family of church ladies at our monthly meeting.

I pray that you will send you most Holy Spirit upon us that He may guide the hand of each person so that the Saint who has chosen them will be selected.

Thank you so very much for all your blessings. Please also bless the words I am writing that the Holy Spirit might pour forth His power into them for the benefit of those reading them.

I love you so much, sweet child. Know that you are victorious and I will bring about the desires of your heart. Know this and rejoice for I am with you. Do not fear but go in peace. My blessings upon you this day.

Dec. 2--Advent begins

Hello my Lord,
Today is the beginning of Advent, the season when most of the country is celebrating Christmas but when Catholics are preparing for Christmas.
According to Catholic tradition, the beginning of Advent is a time of penance and preparation for the coming of the King.
The Christmas season begins on Christmas and lasts until the Feast of the Epiphany, in January. I think the 12 days of Christmas actually begins on Christmas and then lasts until Epiphany. Somehow we have gotten away from that..due mostly to marketing for goods merchants want to sell before Christmas. I hope we can focus on you this year...I hope I can focus on you.
Anyway, I am excited to begin Advent preparations this year.
For many years I have agonized about what to get people who really don't care about me. I have worried and stressed about pleasing them. However, Lord, you have freed me from this desire.
My thoughts lately have been about moving in a totally different direction from where I am now. I have actually had those thoughts for quite some time, but recently I have begun to act on them, as I feel inspired by your Holy Spirit to focus on pleasing you.
I offer these new impulses to you, my God and my King, and hope I am not being selfish in my desires. I pray that you are actually you revealing your will to me. I have begged you for a change in my life and now that I have begun to act, I am confident and filled with trust that you will indeed bless my efforts at living out your will.
I am not sure what the new direction will bring and I have so much to get caught up on from years of neglect, but I hope you will guide me and inspire me to do what will be best for me and my family.
Thank you for all your blessings. I have so often tried to give you a gift of my talent and time, Lord and have so often failed. As I prepare for your coming this year, let my gift to you be perfected in your love, Lord and please fill me with the grace to complete the intents of my heart to be obedient to your will as well as to be gracious to those who hurt me.

Good evening my blessed child-
You are precious and beautiful to me and I am once again looking forward to the gift of your heart. Please know that I will bless and use this gift as I have used it previously. Do not fear but trust in me as you have in the past. Remember before when you wanted to accomplish something and trusted me to grant it to you as long as you were obedient to my will...do you remember how sweet the victory was? I have so much in store for you and I can scarcely brook the delay. I am overjoyed that you will be walking with me as you prepare for my coming. Do not fear...I am with you and protect and guide you.
Please open your heart to receive all the blessings I have in store for you.

Winter's Chill

The cold of winter is upon us and with it comes bonechilling wind that cuts right through a person, exposing vunerabilities.

Thank you, Lord for the cold and the chill and I praise you for them as well. The responsorial today is from the book of Daniel, as well as the first reading. But it is the responsorial that speaks of praising God for all things.

Today, too, I received an email telling me to be thankful for the thorns in my life. I feel as if I have been all of the above recently. That my very soul has been exposed to the chill of winter's wind and that I have had thorns for which I have not been thankful. But, then I read of people's troubles and know that I have not had a difficult time in comparison to theirs and wonder why I am such a griper latey? Where has the joy in my life gone? I used to be joyful and thankful for all things but have not felt joy for a long time, it seems.

Still, I do recognize that I have much to be thankful for...even the bonechilling winds of winter and I thank you and praise you, Lord for all your blessings.

Today's Saint is St. Saturnius of Toulouse, a bishop around 250 who was martyred when he refused to sacrifice to the pagan gods. The pagans then had him tied to a bull who drug him to his death. His name is of Latin origin and means "melancholy of character." Earlier today when I first read about St. Saturnius, I did not realize how much the meaning of his name fits my mood lately. So I also ask for him to intercede for me that I might not be melancholy.

My Sweet Child--

Give me tonight all the failures of this day and let me relieve you of that burden. You know that you have not done all I command of you and all that you have been striving to do, yet I say to you, do not fear. Start again tomorrow. As you go to your rest this night, let go of all that burdens you and allow my sweet peace to sink deep into your soul, warming the winter chill that lurks there.

You are precious and beautiful to me. Never doubt this, but you must do more of what I command you. You have told me I am your King. Then do my bidding. Yes, we are friends, too, but I also am your Lord and Master. I forgive you of your failure to obey me. When you have learnt obedience more perfectly, you will be ready for the next task I have in mind for you. But you must learn perfect obedience to be ready for it. Will you accept this command and do as your Lord and King commands?

My Lord--

Yes, I will try to do better at obeying instantly when you command. Help me to hear you better so that I might do your will immediately. Thank you for your forgiveness and strengthen me with your love, wisdom and courage to do all you desire of me. I am yours.

You delight me child. Go in peace for I am with you and love you.

St. Virgil of Salzburg

I am feeling such a wondrous sense of joy and for that I thank you My King. How wonderful you are to me.

I have been such a whiner lately and I am so sorry for that. Please forgive me and give me the grace to continue to pray for those with whom I find myself in conflict.

You are a wonderful and caring Lord and King and I owe my life and everything I have to you.

I thank you for all the many blessings you have poured out onto me. Help me to make the best of them.

Today's St. is St. Virgil of Salzburg--a Bishop there in the late 700's. He was an Irish immigrant to that area and was known for his help of the poor and also his educating of people. Thank you for giving us the angels and saints as friends for the journey.

As we head into this last week before Advent, Lord, what would you like me to give you? I have so stressed about gifts in the past and still do as you know by my current dilemma. But this Advent, I would like to focus more on you and what you would have me do?

Always in the past, I have failed to do what I felt you were calling me to do--just failed to do what I said I would and I beg your forgiveness for those failures. Please help me to honor my vow to do what I feel you want me, too.

What would you like as an Advent sacrifice this year, my Lord?

Hello my sweet child--

You are precious and lovely to me when you are joyous and thankful. I most of all want just that--a joyous and thankful heart and mind. You have been much blessed and I desire you to acknowledge those blessings. It so distresses me when you are unhappy and sad, even if you have cause to be. Try this year to find cause for thankfulness in every happening, no matter how painful or distressing it is to you. Immediately give me thanks and praise and see what happens. You will be delighted by the result of such a "sacrifice," if that is what it can be called. So often people want to hug their grievances close to their heart, nursing them and feeding them and keeping them alive. Thanks and praise for the difficult times is more of a cure than cuddling these painful moments in your heart and feeling sorry for yourself and anxious about things. So, that is the sacrifice I want from you this year, my child. Try to be thankful and praise me in all circumstances and events of your life. Rest in peace. Know that I love you and want the best for you.

Christ the King

Today during Mass, I had the most wonderful experience of Your love, Lord. As you know, I have recently been suffering from conflicts I am experiencing with co-workers.

This past week was awful for me as I struggled with hurts and disappointments.

Before Mass today I was again stressing over--get this--a slight I think is going to happen!!! Not something that has happened but something that I think is going to happen. How pathetic is that??

Anyway, I felt called to dress up to attend Mass today and I am so glad I did. When I got there I was asked to help by being a Eucharisitic Minister. Even though I try to stay focused on You, I sometimes let my mind wander and it again wandered to this supposed slight that may happen. Even though I have been a loyal and true friend I am not going to be invited (or so I assume) to a birthday party for someone I have always considered important in my life. I was fretting over this and also listening to the homily on Christ the King when You, my Lord and King, gently let me know that You had selected me for the honor of serving You on this feast . It was an awesome moment for me.

It took the sting out of the rejection I feel over this, Lord and I thank you for the honor. You are so wonderful to me and I am humbled by this, but overjoyed as well. I may very well end up being rejected by people I care about, but You have honored me with Your love and it is amazing. Thank you my God and King.

After Mass, I went for a hike and took these amazing photos of Your creation, Lord. It is stunningly beautiful and You have allowed me to live in this wonderful area and experience such beauty. Thank you, my Lord and God. You are so good to me. How can I repay You for all Your favors and goodness to me?

My beautiful child-

I barely whispered to you that you had been chosen for the honor and you heard me. You are listening to me and that pleases me.

As we walked this day, you knew I was with you. This is the portion of my Kingdom I have chosen for you. This is the part of my Kingdom where I want and need you to be.

Yes, I must sometimes allow my children to suffer and be rejected--as was I. You will suffer rejection when you are not invited to this party. Be not angry or bitter about it for you are beautiful. Anger and bitterness tarnish that which I so love about you, your kind and sweet heart. The heart you have told me is my throne in your life. Rejoice when you suffer rejection in this life for it marks you as one of my own. My beautiful child, let my peace and love soothe away the pain of rejection. Do not be afraid and leave the justice to me. Do you trust me in this as in all things? Trust and be not afraid for I am Your King and I love and cherish you. Believe that and rejoice!

Yes, Lord, I do trust you and I do believe that all things work for good to those who love the Lord. Help me to be more disciplined in my writing, Lord and thank you for the blessing of Sheetal.

Matters of Friendship

Lord--
I am so angry with my co-workers for a slight--whether real or imagined--that I cannot bear to look at either one of them.
For some time it has seemed that they whisper things that they don't want me to hear. I am not sure if these things being whispered are about me or not, but I have caught them several times and I know they have been talking about me.
Today's slight is nothing really, except that it just really made me angry. If they had spoken something about it, it would have been different, but they just assumed something that wasn't right and have hurt me very badly in the process.
The sad part of this is that one of them used to be a really good friend, but he has since allied himself with the other co-worker instead of me. I am not sure why but I am hurt and angered by this.
I don't know what to do about it. Please help me. I ask you to bless both of them and guide me in what you would like me to do.
I ask forgiveness for wanting you to strike them stupid or anything. Sorry. But I was just so angry at the time.
I love you. Please help me with this.

Sweet one--
Be not afraid of what they may say about you or do to you. Remember that nothing happens that is not in accord with my will for you. Anything they do to you is for your ultimate benefit, even if you may not see it at the time.
Please remember to ask me to exchange these hurt and angry feelings for ones of blessing and love to be poured out on those who hurt you. You are a child of God and must always act as I would. I will exchange your hurt and anger that they may be blessed. You are forgiven for wanting to smite them.
Be at peace.

Lord--

As you know, I wrote the above post last week, even though I did not get around to posting it here until tonight. My work habits need so much improvement and I ask for your help in making the necessary adjustments to my work ethics. Please help me to get on with what I hear you asking me every day--to write. I sometimes think that I have nothing to say and so don't want to post, but I need to get into the habit of writing every day to be considered a writer. I have found that by asking for blessings on those who hurt me and distress me that my attitude is better. I pray that I am doing the right thing. I also must now ask for you to help me with another person who is trying to hurt my husband and myself. I am not sure of the motive here but I do know she is doing everything she can to undermine his business. Please grant to me Lord whatever I need to counter her moves-wisdom, knowledge, courage and kindly spirit. Help me to act in this manner as you would.

My child--

You are doing as I would have you do. You must continue with the dieting and fasting as you asked of me, remember. The diet is for you and the fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays is for me. We will overcome and you will delight at the result. Also remember to bless your enemies for your friend has become your enemy. Ask me to bless her and I will act according to my will and it will not disappoint you. You have asked for means to counter her moves and I am delighted to give you what you ask for because it is not money. Her motives and desires have all been about money and so you shall win the battle and be victorious in this matter. Do you trust me? Trust me and thank me and praise me and you shall emerge victorious. Go in peace, my dear child. I love you

How quickly things change

How short life sometimes seems and how quickly it can all change. The sudden illness of a fellow parishoner this week has brought me to realize how very quickly we journey through this stage of our lives.

You would think that I would subsequently feel a strong desire to eliminate from my life the bad habits I have formed and focus more intensly on preparing for the next life, yet my life remains the same and I am stuck in the same old dreary habits that I so wish to escape.

I know that all I need to do is listen to that still small voice of the Lord telling me what to do and yet I find myself falling back into the same ugly habits.

I pray, dear Lord, for the fortitude and courage to change my life to something more acceptable to you, that I might truly do your will each day.

As I was praying this morning for my friend, I began by thinking it is indeed dire and that I must help prepare my friend's wife for his departure from this life, but then I was suddenly filled with a sense of wonder and hope as I realized that you have plans for this wonderful family.

I can't explain it other than to state most emphatically that I know you will cure him from this dreaded illness and that he will become a wonderful blessing to our parish and our community because of this healing.

Thank you so very much, Lord, for the miracle healing of my friend. Help me to know what to do now that I truly believe you will heal him.

Good Morning my sweet one--

Thank you for finally responding to my call and once again writing as I have asked you to do. I once again, though you have not asked, forgive you for the neglect of my commands. Please try to think of me not only as your friend, but also as your King and Lord. Although we are friends and I love our conversations as such, I also am your King and when I give a command to you, I expect it to be fulfilled.

You are right to think of last things and to begin preparing. You may not know the time or place when you will be called, but I want you to feel as if you have come to meet your Lord with lighted lamp and with oil to spare in case my coming is delayed. For so long now you have not realized that you may be called in the blink of an eye, or stricken as suddenly as your friend has been and then all the things you have been so busy planning will be left undone. I do not desire them to remain undone, but to be done that you might give Glory to your Lord and King. So go therefore into this day and make a card as you have felt called to do. Even though you have not completed the set up, the way still exists for you to do these tasks. So begin by selecting the pictures we wish to share...photos of our time spent together and I will guide you as to which ones to share with which people and also the words to use in each card.

My child, I love you mightily. Take this lesson to heart about the time being short with much work to be done. Know that I do have plans for your friend and his family and rest content that their lives are in my hands. Share this knowledge with them and rejoice for I am Lord and your friend.

Thank you my Lord and King. Thank you for the forgiveness of my failure to do your will. Help me to complete the tasks you have given me. I love you.

Coming Back

Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ. Have mercy on me for my failure to do your will. I love you so much and when I hear you asking me to write on my blog, I have been so negligent about responding to your call. Help me, Lord to hear and to obey.

You are the Lord of my life. All that happens to me is according to your will and you have blessed me mightily. Forgive me, once again, my God and King for failure to do your will. I will try to do a better job of responding to your call.

There is so much I would pray about, Lord. The world is such a frightening place these days. What can we do to help bring about your will?

Sweet One--

Know that I do love you and forgive you once again for not instantly obeying me when you hear my call. Realize that my call to write is as demanding a call as a call to go someplace or do something. The difference is that you can respond to this call by just sitting down and writing. I have plans for you and the sooner you begin to respond immediately when I ask you to write, the sooner I can use you and the talents I have given you.

Be not afraid. I am with you and leading you and always forgive you, even when you disappoint me and fail to listen to me. I do live in your heart. Know this and rejoice for we are indeed one.

Go in peace now, my sweet child and sleep for we have much to accomplish in the coming day.

Jesus,

I thank you and praise you and worship you from the very center of my being. I want to do your will and will strive to become better at listening to you and immediately taking action on whatever you ask of me.

Half way there--almost St. Patrick's day

Ah, my lord and friend. How can I thank you for sharing with me your strength and your love? You gave to me today everything I needed and my need was sore. You help me when I am down and give me such classy ways out of things.
My heart is singing for love of you and recognition that you are everything to me. All that has gone on today has happened because of you. I felt sorely beset, not by an enemy nor by a friend, but by someone I know. She and I have not agreed on several things and you advised me to treat her generoulsy and kindly and how great that has turned out. Who knew being a nice person could win me the benefit of your love?
I did. I knew it from previous encounters of a similar nature and it is such a joy to remember it again. It has been a long time since you have loved me this much.

Oh child--
I have always been there loving you and caring for you and guiding you. The lack of awareness of my love on your part does not mean that I have not been there each minute. The wondrous happenings of today happened because of your prayers, your tears, your devotion to me daily and your surrender to me to help you. My help is always there. You have not been availing yourself of it, sweet one.
You are precious to me. Joy in the moment. Do not fear to love. It is ok.

Coming Home--Lenten Thursday

Good Evening my Lord,
I felt you calling me tonight to ask my longtime prayer partner to come and pray with me. It has been months since we have met at your feet and prayed out our hearts to you. I know you are calling her home after a long and probably self-imposed exile.
I thank you for using me to invite her back into full Communion with us and pray that her path back to you will be how You will it, my Lord. I know you are the wisest and most loving guide she can have and I also believe that your Spirit is working to bring her back.
Thank you so much for your good ness and love.
Help me to continually shower it upon those most in need of it.

Ash Wednesday

Ah, we begin again. I once again will hope to give back to my Lord some of the time and talent He has granted to me as we journey together towards Easter and the Resurrection. I need to make this journey with an open heart and mind as to the outcome and destination, I guess. I have for too long been focused on things other than the Lord wills for me. I must now teach myself to listen to His ever gentle voice as we make our way through the trials of each day.
I am excited about this Lenten journey...as if I am a child going on a trip with my loved ones. I hope to prove up to the journey and the demands this season will make upon me.
The homily tonight was on fasting and the power of it when combined with prayer. I pray for the willpower to increase my ability to fast and to make my fasts more pure and more powerful.

As of now, it seems that we are off---into the desert or wilderness and full of much hope and expectation about the future. I hope to be able to spend more time writing and improving my skills and talents there. There is so much about blogging that I do not know and I hope that I can learn more there, too. All in all, even though this is a time of fast and preparation, I am looking forward to the adventure of journeying with the Lord.

Dec.25th--The Mass of Christ

Thanks be to God for He as given us the Christ. You give us such wonderous gifts each day. Thank you my God and my King for all you do. Thank you for the gift of Your Son and for the Gift of Your Holy Spirit and for the gift of Mary and all the saints.
Thank you for my family and friends. Thank you for my job and my co-workers. Thank you, God for the gift of time and help me to use my time more wisely and for you.
I love you.

3rd saturday of advent--hanging in

Almost there. Almost at the day when the Light has come into the world. Forgive me for not preparing my heart better to receive you.

3rd Friday of Advent--Disappointment

Even though this picture was taken last Sunday, the amount of snow has not diminished. In fact, we got another 9 to 10 inches on Wednesday, so we will definitely be having a white Christmas.
I got word tonight that the kids definitely will not make it for the holiday. My daughter and her family will be here, but my son and his family will not.
I am thankful that one of my children can be here, of course and relieved that my son's family will not be at risk out on roads that are treacherous at best, but my disappointment at not having the little kids here is acute.
My husband and I had a huge fight tonight when I got home. I was angry because he was drunk by 4:30 when I called. I did everything they say you shouldn't do beginning with the first thing...never argue with a drunk. We both said things I know we don't mean but I really have a hard time with his drunkeness.
How do I find Christ in all of this? Where is he to be found in disappointment and drunkeness? I know you must be here with me in all of this. It is just so hard to focus in on you. I feel like you must be there.....through the fog as in some of the other pictures taken this week, but right now it is so difficult to find you.
I also didn't make the store Christmas party for the first time in many years. It was always so special to me and I used to try to make it even at the expense of my family. But this year, it didn't seem important at all while family matters were of the utmost extreme importance.
Truth be told, I am not prepared for comany this weekend anyway. I have so much to do that I didn't get done and now that they aren't coming anyway, I have just quit working on these things and will try again tomorrow.

3rd Thursday of Advent--Disappointment

I know this is not what you want from me-- a blind stumbling to you for a draft version with the date on it, but it's all I am managing to get to you right now. I hope to be able to do more at some other time.
I have not been doing as I think I should be doing and that I know is cause for disappointment. I wonder if your disappointment in me and mine in my husband are somehow related?? It sure seems that when I try to do better and work and struggle with my own faults and failings that his seem less important to me.

3rd Wednesday of Advent--Snow time

Snow snow and more snow. The region is shut down because of a huge blizzard. The kids may not be able to get here and that disappoints me. I know it is silly for them to hazard their lives by coming and it is that dangerous out there. As my husband has said, it's not that he thinks our son is a danger, but there is no controlling what other people may do and how they react to less than ideal driving circumstances.
But, I am disappointed. I had so wanted to share this Christmas with them. I don't know when we will be able to get together and that is not like Christmas at all.
This is the same picture I used a couple of days ago, but cropped. Looking closely through the fog, you can see geese sitting on the ice.

2rd Tuesday of Advent--Crunch time

I am trying to be joyful, indeed have been joyful for the past two days. My husband is beginning to fall again. He quits drinking for a couple of weeks and then starts to drink every day. Every day he drinks more and more. He works hard and he does so much that I wonder why he feels he has to become a different person by drinking, drinking and more drinking.
It saddens me so.

3rd Monday of Advent--Lattice work

This morning dawned so cold it was crisp when you breathed. I tried to capture the coldness of it and the crispness of it in this photo which reminded me at once of the lattice work of God. It was one of those moments when I knew that the Lord had been telling me to take the photo and also what to name it. The frost is thick on these branches providing a mosaic of coldness that is nearly palpable.
I did feel joyful this morning. It was wonderful news to me to hear that my son and his family will be able to make it for Christmas.I am thrilled and hope to give them true gifts of love while they are here. That is my prayer, Lord and my hope.

Joy Sunday of Advent

This is the third Sunday of Advent--the joy Sunday. Be joyful is the command today, for the Lord draweth nigh.
It continued to snow today and we have over a foot, at least 18" laying on the ground.
I spent the day watching the Lord of the Rings series....I don't know why when I had so much to do. It was as if the Lord said, "Take the day off..." and I guess I did.
I haven't yet felt the joy that I should be feeling and I am hoping it will come. I also hope I don't feel the terrible desolation I have felt Christmases past when I was sorely disappointed. I was focused on the wrong things and got laid flat by the disappointment. But I am hoping this year I will find joy in the season and be uplifted by a better attitude.

2nd Saturday of Advent--Blessing our enemies

Snow today and much shopping. I went to confession but forgot to ask what to do when my prayers for blessing are answered and I get angry about that.
And then I read the answer in my prayer books. The answer is that we can pour out material blessings on all, but the blessings of our love and understanding are poured out as God wills. The material blessings granted to those for whom we pray are like it raining on just and unjust. Those things are not worth the fretting it has caused.
The real secret to holiness is to want to pour out spiritual blessings on those we will. Being able to will that is indeed a victory over the enemies of envy and jealousy.

2nd Friday of Advent--Angel wings

My husband went with me tonight to see the movie, "The Nativity." I liked it very much and he didn't mind it. It brings to life the story of my Lord and why we are celebrating this season. I have so much to do to prepare but many of my preparations seem so worldly. I must try to focus on the reason for the season as the popular saying goes and prepare for the Lord's coming... in my heart and mind and soul.

I picked this image to include with this day's writings because it reminded me of an angel--wings spread and watching over me and my husband as we enjoyed the spring day last year. It was a delightful day and we had gone to a high mountain reservoir so he could do some fishing. While he was fishing, I was photographing things around us and this one picture didn't seem to stand out then, but it did today when I was looking for a photo to include with this day's writings. Thank you, Lord, for that day and also for this day. May I try to accomplish what you would have me do.

2nd Thursday of Advent--Struggleing

This day I must really spend some time just writing for you. I hope to get back here later and will try to gift you with something special.
But I didn't make it back to write anything more and indeed spent time again doing things other than what the Lord is asking of me. Why do I find it so difficult to simply do as I think the Lord is asking me to do? Why do I let my bad habits control my life? I don't want to and indeed would like to have the Lord so totally in control of my life that everything I think, do and say is for you. But so often I just allow myself and my bad habits to resume their control of my life. I will work on correcting that.

2nd Wednesday of Advent--Struggling

Hello my Lord and Friend,
The thought today is how I learn to handle your generous blessings to others and not feel jealous? It seems so silly to me at times that I on the one hand ask you to bless and help people I know and love and then when you do, I feel somehow cheated that I have not been given the same blessings.
This is something I have struggled with for quite some time.

I feel you are testing me when this happens. I ask you to bless someone because I am havng trouble with them for some reason or another. You do bless them and abundantly and generously and then I am miffed because you pour your blessings out in such measure as to make me somewhat envious. I wonder if they would have recieved the blessings if I had not asked and so ponder not asking you to bless them.

I also think that maybe this allows me to be a part, although just a teeny tiny part of your plan. If the blessings are poured out because I do ask, wow!! That is awesome and makes me want to go around blessing people all the time, or at least most of the time. I guess my problem here is that I struggle with those people and when they are blessed so abundantly I feel slighted. I know I must work on this to be truly your disciple.

I haven't had a chance to get out and get anything photographed since Sunday, so I am using pictures from my collection.

2nd Tuesday of Advent--A questioning moment

This day began with me wanting to do better. I resolved to trust God about whether my son and his family will be joining us for Christmas. My husband is drinking daily again and I am troubled by it, even though he is making a greater effort to control his addiction, he is still an addict.
I am slipping back into my daily addictions, also, of watching television as soon as I come home from work. I must remember that my duty is to work on my own addictions. I was so delighted about my husband when he wasn't drinking and now he is back at it. I guess I need to still trust in the Lord and still work on my own addictions.

2nd Monday of Advent--Snowy day

Today it snowed for the first time in over a month. It was nice to see the whiteness cover over the brown blahness that had been most of November.
I was busy today at work, helping people with their packages. My husband was drinking again tonight when I got home. Just a day. I was so angry with my daughter-in-law tongiht. She doesn't want to share Christmas, and only wants to spend it with her family, even though she lives within a mile of her mother.

2nd Sunday of Advent--Clearing Obstacles

The readings at Mass today call for us to make straight the path...into our hearts. Father explained that we must remove the obstacles blocking access into our hearts before the Lord comes so that he might enter easily into our hearts, our lives.
At first I thought it just a regular Advent homily, but as I began thinking more on it, I was reminded of that day a number of years ago when I had prepared for another parishoner an ornament to put upon the tree--a barren tree such as the one I photographed today. The person for whom I had prepared it, rejected it and me in such a way as to embarrass me totally and send me running from church because I was bawling such great gouts of pain. That was one of the most painful moments I can ever remember and no doubt one of the five unforgiven things that is obstructing the path into my heart.
As I was walking today, I realized that the Lord had asked me to present the gifts with this person, but at the time, it was only on the periphery of my mind and thoughts. I asked another friend instead to join me in this honor. I ask forgiveness for not listening to the Lord as he was going to make the path straight by giving me this gift. Help me to better hear you, my Lord, that I might never cause such pain to anyone as I experienced on that day. If I have indeed caused pain to this person, I ask that you exchange the pain for a blessing for them. Forgive me for wanting him to experience such agony as I felt that day. As I recall, I did ask such a thing in my anguish--that you would allow him to feel the agony of my heart and I also think I asked that you sunder his relationship with another and even maybe asked that you send lightening bolts down upon them....such was my agony.
On this day, however, I did not suffer any anguish and only came later to recognize that I was being asked to bring forth the gifts with that person. Perhaps I need to extend my forgiveness to the person for the pain caused so long ago--I do forgive him as it probably didn't occur to him that he was causing me such anguish.
I am trying to remove the obstacles placed in front of the path into my heart that the Lord may come directly in when he arrives. I hope this journey of painful reminders is part of that process and offer to the Lord my thanks and praise for all his gifts. I also ask that I hear again in the depths of my heart and soul the requests that I didn't listen to today so as not to miss the opportunity to move forward from the place of pain.

Advent Day 7--Giving

Today some friends gave me a painting done a number of years ago by a local artisan. They drove many miles to give the painting to me and asked that I find a home for it. I have no idea if the painting is of high value or not but the artisan is well known locally, mostly for her landscapes. This was a portrait of someone locally, she looked vaguely familiar, but still unknown.
I considered finding a home for the painting at my home but then the Spirit's still small voice was heard and I gave it to the museum, which it turns out has quite a collection by this same artist.
It reminded me of how much the Lord gives to us each day and many times we are so unaware of his generosity. How does this happen that the God of the Universe can give so much to us each day--including his only son--and we are totally unaware of these gifts--often thinking that we are the generous ones?
It turns out that my friends are the generous ones and that I am merely a conduit--a channel whereby their gift can reach others. I guess the same might be said of all I do or think or say. I am merely the conduit for God's generosity and gifts, allowing it to pass through me to the ones to whom it should belong or those to whom the message needs to be heard. I can claim nothing in these matters--not generosity or wisdom or anything else. The Giver is who needs to be thanked and acknowledged, not the mechanism by which the gift was passed along.

Advent Day Six--Feast of Immaculate Conception

When I awoke this morning, I was tired even though I had slept fairly well. I have been trying to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays and so began this day with fasting in mind.
Fasting has become important to me even though it is something I apparently need to practice practice practice in order to be able to do it well, I guess. I perhaps need to practice in order to be able to do it at all. At any rate, as the day went on, it became apparent to me that I wasn't going to fast as I had hoped and planned. Just too many little inconsistencies throughout the day caused me to forget to deny myself. So at lunchtime I had lunch and asked the Lord to forgive me for not holding to my fast this day.
As usual, I was feeling guilty about breaking the fast. I was still feeling that way when I went to Mass to celebrate the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. As I was leaving Mass, Father wished me a Happy Feast Day! It then occured to me that the reason I couldn't fast was because it was a feast day and Blessed Mother wanted me to feast on this special day instead of fast. Talk about an awesome recognition of the Lord!! It was so special to me to know first of all that they desired me to enjoy myself on the Feast Days of the church, secondly that it is by grace that I am able to complete my fasts on those days I commit to doing so and thirdly that if I had left right after communion as I was tempted to do that I would have missed the blessing of knowing and recognizing the Lord in that moment.

Advent Day Five--A Reminder of Traditional Moments

As this day dawned, I began to prepare for the funeral of a dear lady friend. She was 89 and it was her time to rejoin you. How delightful that she will be welcomed into your kingdom, for I am sure she is there.
Her faith and mine assure me that we will be in heaven withyou once our earthly journey is done.
I know I saw you this day in the Eucharist and the celebration of Mass. It was a wonderful reminder to me that when I am having difficulty finding you, I need to seek you in the sanctuary where I know I will find you and in the sacrifice you made for my friend and for me and for all of us.
How can we not relish those moments? I have so often neglected you by not thinking of you during your sacrifice and what is supposed to be my worship of you. I don't want that to happen any more. I want to be so in love with you that I cannot wait to see you and that I seek always to find you in each experience.
As I think of you today, I am reminded of all you would have me be and of all you would like me to do. I thank you for your many gifts and ask that you guide me in what I am to do for you.

Advent Day Four--Worrisome moment

I am so tired but need to just take a moment here to tell you how much I love you, my Lord and my God. You are so awesome to me. I thank you for my husband and pray you will do what is best for him. Take care of him...he is precious to me.
Today I began not knowing what to do because of my anger at my husband last night. He had been excessively drinking again. You reminded me that I need to work on my own problems and not focus on his and I am trying to do that my friend.
My anger dissipated during the day but re-emerged again this evening when I got off work and came home to find him drinking again. I just clammed up and got ready for our church group ornament exchange.
That was alot of fun. I thank you for the fellowship of our ladies group. What a wonderful group of women. Bless you my lord and king. Also bless our priests. They are so wonderful and how we appreciate them.
I guess today I saw you in the ladies and in my husband. Different aspects of you that I am not yet able to put into words.

Advent Day Three--Sheltered

I found the Lord in so many moments today. It was incredible for me to know that it was He giving me "inside information" about people I know and love. I recognized immediately it as a gift from you, my Lord and friend. It was so cool to know about a certain person's motivation here and about a possible move there. I even recognized you in my husband's drinking.
It was a reminder that I need to be about your business...doing what you would have me do and not wasting my life on meaningless things.
I have spent too much time doing the things I need to recover from and I don't need to spend time worrying about whether or not my husband will manage to overcome his addictions. I need to work on my own faults and failings. The reminder from you, however, was much needed and I thank you for it. I also thank you for the moment of feeling sheltered.
The moment came during my walk as I was wondering what to give you today. As I walked, I remembered this shelter house. I recognized you in the moment you chose my route for me today, as I normally do not walk past this historic monument. The shelter it provided to travelers past and the shelter you provide me daily give warmth and comfort to any day and I thank you for your sheltering love and care of me. Thank you so much for this day and for the moments of finding you in it and in all.

Advent day two--A forgotten moment

I began the day with high hopes for catching a glimpse of the Lord somewhere in my day. I had hoped to find him at a time when I could stop and enjoy his presence, but my day began in a rush--I got up late and had to rush through my morning prayers. I was busy at work and didn't find the time to stop and catch him in a moment when I could enjoy the moment.
So, I used a photo taken previously and find I can see him in the splendor of this magnificent sunset. Perhaps I didn't need to find him at all because he has always been there, just as he was here in this photo but I didn't recognize him at the time.
So often, I feel I must overlook him in my life and all I can do is try to do better on this journey. Thank you my Lord and God for such moments. Thank you for inspiring me at the time to catch the moment in a photo, even if I didn't recognize you at the time.

Beginning of Advent--A Hovering Moment

The first day of Advent dawned cold. The air is crisp with cold, but with no wind to diminish the warmth of the sun, today is a day of winter splendor.

I began the journey with a walk on this day, snow crunching under my winter boots. As I neared the field where I frequently walk and take photos, a plane droned overhead causing me to look up. A few more steps and I chanced to view the cloud formation hovering in the sky awaiting my notice. It was an inspired moment, one in which I stopped and recognized that it is God hovering over me, loving and protecting me. Being my friend and giving me such gifts as this moment to so astound my heart and soul.

I am so excited to be working on this gift. What wonders may arise from such moments I can only imagine. But as I was walking along, I became inspired to take photos of a proposed nature route. I feel I am being asked to do a power point presentation on the proposed route, laying out the conditions as I view them. So in that moment of simple obedience when I snapped the photo of the clouds to the moment of downloading when I wasn't sure of my choice of photos and had it selected "automatically," I find that God was hovering over me, guiding me where He would have me go. He also gave me a project to do while he and I journey this Advent. I find the whole experience wondrous and delightful.

During Advent we are encouraged to prepare for the coming of the Lord, and it now seems to me that it will be much easier to do this if we spend the time together so that we know one another. I will find Him in some moment each day and try to reflect something of what I have discovered about Him in my writings this season.

Like a Child

I had been having such a terrible time at work. I was feeling so much the outcast and in fact had written to my boss before I went on vacation and asked him to think about my employment and whether or not he wanted me there anymore. It was just me feeling so sorry for myself and while I was on vacation I was still chewing on the bone of my dissatisfaction.

I asked you for help, my Lord and my God and the image that came immediately to mind was awesome. I was walking on the beach and pondering all that I had asked my boss to consider and feeling so sad about the possibility of moving on to something else...about the possibility of my worst fears being true and them wanting me gone....

My mind and heart were churning so much over the whole affair and I didn't know what to do or what was going to happen.

You came to me then or rather revealed yourself to me. Closing my eyes, I saw myself as a small child running to you for protection and safety and justice. And you opened wide your arms and enveloped me in such peace and security that I didn't want the moment to end. I kept my eyes shut reveling in your love for me and it was one of the most wonderful moments I can recently recall of absolutely knowing your love. Because I knew absolutely and without a doubt that you were indeed wrapping your arms about me and that you would deal with what was troubling me. I did in fact picture us walking off together to deal with the situation...me as a small child and you holding my hand, warding off all the troubles that I was so afraid of.

Thank you, my Lord and my God for your constant protection of me and for your everlasting love of me. I will strive to share it with the rest of your children that they might rejoice as I rejoice in your love.

My sweet one--

I love you. Know this. Live this. Joy in this. I will go with you wherever you go. Delight in this truth. I am with you always. Be at peace, child, for all is well.

The Power of the Fast

Good morning Lord--
I must begin writing again so as to offer you my total and complete obedience. Let's see, since I last wrote, my dog Pete had to be put down, Mike quit drinking and the Republicans lost majority control of both houses of Congress. Terrorists are making threats against us, but those threats seem minor to the every day threats of evil now so rampant in our world. What are we to do?
The biggest thrill for me within the last month was when Mike quit drinking again. He is an alcoholic, so his drinking was getting out of control and badly so. We had purchased a new truck and in loading his atv in it right after it was purchased, we drove the atv through the rear window of the truck, shattering the window. I was so distraught over it and told him that he was also shattering our relationship with every drink he took.
The next day, I began to fast in addition to my daily prayers and once again resumed praying the rosary. I'm not sure how far into the fast I was, but at one point, I literally heard a "pop" as if a chain were breaking. Because my husband did not drink that night or the next or the next, I realized that it was the chain of addiction being broken and freeing him from this evil.
Our whole relationship changed overnight into what I have been hoping and praying it would become--a spiritually blessed friendship as well as a marriage. It has been glorious.
But then I disobeyed you and a chink in the armor allowed him to get drunk one more time.
You had asked me to begin writing and I told you I would. I didn't and made excuses for myself as I always do when I disobey. The result was almost as instanteous as the fasting, but in reverse. He began drinking almost immediately from the time I disobeyed. It was a real eye-opener for me. Actually, the whole experience is an eye-opener. First, I got to see how effective fasting when joined with prayer is (AGAIN!)
But I also got to see how devastating disobedience can be. You allowed me to see what my single acts of disobedience will let happen. It's as if the enemies are waiting for just such a moment of weakness to attack.
Fortunately, you have not allowed the drinking to get out of control again, but allowed me to see how damaging my disobedience can be. Thank you for the insight and help me to be more obedient each day.

JC--
My sweet one. Thank you for realizing it was a lesson and thank you for the thanks and praise you gave me at the time of learning the lesson. Thanks and praise are also weapons, as is fasting, against the enemy. You are in training and I hope you will begin to instantly obey when you hear me speaking to you. You are precious to me. Continue on as I have instructed you and know that I love you and will not abandon you to the evils stalking your world this day. We have much to accomplish and once you begin to immediately obey, we can begin our work to save as many souls as possible from the enemy. There is indeed danger in this time. But know that you are Mine and I love you and will keep you from unnecessary suffering. Do you understand that suffering may be necessary for the salvation of many? The operative word is unnecessary....I will save you from that. Offer your sufferings to me in union with my sufferings for this world and know we are victorious.
Go in peace, child. You are one with me in all you do. I love you.

The Battleground of a Soul

Good Evening my Friend--

Thank you so very much for the gift of my dad being baptized in the Catholic Church on Aug. 20, 2006. I was so pleasantly surprised when he said he was thinking of it and thought that undergoing the lessons might change his mind, but he hung in there and was baptized, received the Sacrament of Confirmation and 1st Communion all in one magnificent ceremony. It was lovely and touching and I am so thankful to you for calling him and for Father Karl agreeing to baptize him.

I wish I knew how to combat my husband's addiction to alcohol. He is getting worse and worse and I don't know what to do about it, Lord. He drinks himself stupid nearly every night and last night met clients totally drunk and drove them home. I was so appalled by that that I met him and yelled at him and just allowed my anger at alcohol to overwhelm me and take it out on him. What do I do about this? I am afraid he may end up killing someone or in jail and I don't want that. I have tried to convince him of his need for professional help, but he scoffs at me. Lord, please help me.

JC--my sweet one. Please do not be afraid. Fear does no one any good. I know this is a most difficult time for you and you must keep the faith and be loving and joyous. Think how when you are angered by this that your sense of peace is lost. You must keep the sense of peace and calm to be effective as a prayer warrior. You battle the forces of the unseen and must remain calm and joyous and loving to do battle effectively for me and for your husband. He does not realize his soul is a battleground and he is in effect giving ground to the enemy by his choice to drink, but that is the best analogy I can give you. It's as if you are battling terrorists (alcoholic spirits) who want to claim him as their own (for ultimate destruction--suicidal behavior) and you must fight these terrorists with the weapons of the realm. My weapons are prayer, fasting, love and they are the weapons which will enable you to be victorious over this enemy. But you must not allow the covert agents of anger and fear to invade and ruin your battle plan. I love you, my child and want you to be victorious in this endeavor so that I can use you in fighting other battles of the unseen realm. But you must first fight this battle and learn to use my weapons effectively. Does this make sense to you?

Lord--yes it makes sense to me on one level, but on another I want to slug him for drinking himself stupid. Forgive me for those basest of instincts, but that is the way he makes me feel. He also seeks to blame me for not being the person he wants me to be, and I suppose I am not, but he doesn't have to ruin himself in order to abide me, does he? Am I really so horrid that he thinks, feels he must drink himself into oblivion to put up with me? Is this the price I am paying for my past sins and faults? What do I do?

Sweet one--it is propaganda of the evil spirits seeking to control him and damage you. You must not believe you are the cause of this behavior. Of course you have your faults and failings, but you are not responsible for his poor choices. He may be listening to the propaganda of the spirits who would destroy him to get to you. You are the one they are trying to ruin--make no mistake about that. If they can spoil your inner calm and rob you of your peace, they will have succeeded in this battle. You must not allow them to rob you of your most effective weapons--love, joy, laughter and peace. Those are the weapons that will defeat any enemy, but especially the ones using your husband as a battleground at this time. I am with you and for you, but you must pick up the weapons and do battle. You must pray and love and laugh and thus banish this enemy. Do not blame or hold responsible your husband. I will hold him responsible for whatever choices he makes against my will for you. Be obedient to my orders in this matter and it will bring you to where I would have you be. Make no mistake my child, this is but a testing time for the battles to come upon this age. You must prepare and do as I command you if you are to be victorious in other battles. You have an affinity for St. Frances, who also loves you. Join your prayers with his in this matter and begin now a novena for your husband. Sweet child--I love you and need you to fight this battle with the tools of my realm, my kingdom. That is how we will overcome the temptations and trials of this evil time.

My Friend--

Thank you as always for calming me and for speaking to my heart. I do not know why I so often neglect these times with you. I need you and I want to be head over heels in love with you that I may always do your will. Thank you for loving me.