On loving

"And to love him with all your heart, with all your understanding, with all your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."--Mark 12:33

I wonder if I sometimes do not have the proper appreciation of how radical a prophet Jesus was and is. For him to tell his peers that loving people is greater than any burnt offerings or sacrifices they might make in the temple surely terrified many of them, and angered the temple authorities beyond my imaginings.
Yet it must have appealed to many, too, as it resonated deeply within their hearts and moved them to drop everything and follow him into the desert by loving and caring for people, to be rewarded at the oasis of His love as they journeyed along.
I do not come from a culture where offering sacrifices is considered a valid means of redeeming oneself. For the most part, my culture is a selfish one, telling people that no sacrifices are necessary or desirable, nor is redemption necessary to many. We have been deceived in many things in our culture.
But, the message of loving God and one's neighbor has managed to survive the dilution of God and God's purpose so that I do know it is desirable above all things to love God with everything I have within me, even if the offering of sacrifices is a foreign concept.
For the most part, loving one's neighbor is something that I have traditionally done as far away. I mean, giving money to this charity or that charity and calling it love of one's neighbor. I often forget that my neighbors are the people I see and work with on a daily basis and that I need to overcome my tendencies to overlook their needs and treat them as I would like myself treated and love them as I want to be loved.
On another note, Lord, thank you for whatever you did for me that I no longer consider it important to let them know how hurt I was over the birthday thing. You have healed my heart and I thank you and praise you for granting me such grace.
It is a healing I have felt palpably and I even know when it happened. It was last Sunday as I was walking and I actually felt as if a door had been shut or something cut off as I pondered how I would present my hurt all packaged up as a gift to them. You just healed it and lifted it from me and it is no longer something I need to do. Thank you.

Just rest in my love, sweet one and know that I am God. I do indeed take care of all your needs and have lifted a burden from you that you did not need to carry into the future. We have much to do as we journey into the desert and I have many things I wish of you and for you, none of which you can do if you are burdened with this past hurt.
Try to see loving as both a gift and a sacrifice and you will begin to grasp how deeply God loves and what it means to love. There is so much you as yet have an incorrect concept of, but just by opening up yourself in this manner do you allow me to begin to reveal myself to you. Go in peace now, knowing I do indeed love and cherish you and that you have started to know what it means to love me with all your heart and understanding and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. All is well.

The Finger of God

"But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you."--Luke 11:20

This was in response to the accusations leveled against Jesus when he drove out demons and the people accused him of using the power of Beelzebub to do so. He asks them by whose power their people drive them out and then says the above.
It must have sent a chill into them and gave them pause, if only for a moment, that perhaps he was the Messiah.
But, they didn't want to let go of their comfortable notions of who the Messiah was or to hear what Jesus had to say to them. He challenged them on all levels and still they did not hear him.
I pray Lord, that I will hear you and not harden my heart. I pray that you will give me your Holy Spirit and his many gifts that I might be a single sharp instrument doing the job you require of me when you need it done. Help me to not be so obstinate in what I think and want that I do not hear what you are really saying to me.
Thank you for your many blessings to me and help me to pass them on.

You are precious to me indeed. Keep on working to do the things you think you must do and I will continue to bless your efforts. Do not be afraid and do what you need to do. All is well, my sweet one.
Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.

The Fulfillment of the Law

'Jesus said to his disciples: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill." --Matthew 5:17

How confusing it must have been to be one of Jesus' first disciples. Here he is, doing good deeds on the Sabbath, neglecting to pay the temple tax, not fasting like he should and then when his disciples perhaps do something that also goes against the law, he tells them that he has not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Even with the perspective of someone who has a little time it seems confusing to me that he is the fulfillment and not the abolishment of the law.

But then as I stop to consider what it means, I realize that his validation comes from the law, so he cannot abolish it. He must fulfill it in order that the Word of God be true and valid.

It is very cool once we finally begin to believe in him as the fulfillment of all God promised to his people from the very beginning.

It also gives me pause when people say they are in support of Christianity but dis the Jewish people. In particular, I am now thinking of Muslims who state publicly their support of Christians but almost in the same breath, call for the obliteration of Israel and Jewish people. If they understood that there is no Christianity without a valid Jewish faith, they would not be so intolerant of the Jews.

But, I am thinking that Muslims, although they publicly state a support for Christianity, do not believe it to be the true religion and seek always the conversion of all peoples to their faith. Their "support" of Christianity is but lipspeak. If people look to their deeds instead of heeding their words, we would recognize that they do not "support" Christianity. If they did, they would also support the Jewish faith, from which comes the salvation of the world...Jesus the Christ.

My sweet one--

You are indeed precious to me beyond all comprehension. Do not fear anything or anyone for I am with you. You will have all you need. Just call on me whenever you need anything and I will be there to help you. Believe this to be so and act on this belief. Do not fear. I am the God of the Universe and everything is subject to me. Do you understand all that I am giving to you?

Lord--I hope so and would like it to be true. Increase my faith that I might truly move mountains and believe all that you tell me and act on all that you tell me.

Do not doubt it but go forth rejoicing and knowing that the God of the Universe is your friend and savior. Continue on this path as we journey towards the Easter resurrection. You are making more progress than you realize even though you also fail to do everything that I ask. Continue on seeking and we shall oversome those weaknesses that you so deplore and that so distract you from my loving embrace. Go in peace. I love you.

Cause and Effect of Disobedience

Tonight during my prayer time with my prayer partner we discussed original sin and it's inherent effects upon the human soul. It is obvious to each of us that sometimes the human soul shows the effects of original sin...how otherwise to explain the choices a person makes?

And just after discussing this very cause and effect example, I was ready tonight to forego my stated vow and retire without writing something on this blog.

As I was lying there, trying to justify myself and my decision to get to bed--too tired, etc., the Lord allowed me a tiny glimpse of the effects of such a choice. And while I do not claimr to be perfect or good, I do know that choosing to go to bed without doing what I have promised and what the Lord has been prompting me to do would result in effects of which I would not be desirous. The effects of disobedience can be far reaching and we may not have any idea how those decisions will affect generations of people down the line. I do not think Eve would have chosen to eat of the fruit of the tree had she been able to see the effects even upon me and my chldren some thousands and thousands of generations later.

Thank you, Lord, for the jolt this gave me into getting up and writing tonight. Forgive me for even considering not doing what I have vowed to do for you this Lent.

Thank you for the oasis in the desert of my prayer times with my prayer partner. Thank you for the nourishment this gives to us.

My dear and beautiful child--

Thank you for reconsidering your choice. The benefit given you that Eve did not have is that you are born after Jesus died and rose from the dead, saving you from sin. Mankind does not often pause to consider the effects that disobedience to my Word has upon the human condition. Thank you for stopping to realize your actions may have future consequences and for doing something to rectify it. Yes, you can be forgiven for the commision of sins. I much prefer it if my children do not sin in in the first place. Go now in peace and finish your novena prayers of this evening. I love you and bless you

Ordinary Service

"If the prophet had told you to do something extraordinary, would you not have done it? All the more now, since he said to you, "Wash and be clean: should you do as he said."-- 2 Kings 5: 13

This scripture has appealed to me on more than one occasion whenever I think my life and works too ordinary. I often visualize God asking me to do great things and visualize myself responding eagerly. I suspect I would not respond as eagerly if he commanded me to do the dishes or turn off the television. It is one of the lessons of obedience that I need to learn and re-learn, I suspect. It would be nice to think that I would do whatever my Lord commands me, yet I know that when He commands me to do things that I consider ordinary or even drudgery, I often balk. Lord, forgive me for those tendencies and help me to overcome my tendencies to want to do great things for you when you would be delighted with me if I did what you ask...regardless of what it is you ask.
Also, I did try to write yesterday but the internet was down and I was unable to get the access I needed. Please forgive me, for if I had begun writing when you asked it of me, perhaps I wouldn not now be asking for your forgiveness on that matter. Help me to recognize the glory of doing your will always, especially when it is something simple.

My sweet one--
Just ponder on the reading this day. I love you and want what is best for you. Have no fear but go forward gladly and joyfully, knowing that I will do what is best for you. Rejoice always for you are a child of God.

Thoughts on the Prodigal

"Like the father of the prodigal son, God is waiting just for you, a robe draped on his arm, a ring in his hand and sandals at his feet. He is looking far off in the distance, patiently hoping for a glimpse of you on the horizon. When he sees you, he doesn't hesitate but runs to you with arms outstretched. He doesn't ask where you've been; he simply rejoices that you have come to him. He embraces you and calls you his beloved."--from the meditation on today's Gospel --Luke 15-11-32 --in The Word Among Us.

What a wonderful thought this is and I hope and pray that you are indeed waiting for me in just such a manner as described above, dear Lord. What sweetness to know this love and to experience your welcoming embrace, especially after I have squandered so much of the inheritance you have given me--namely the gift of life. I have done so little with the gifts you have given me. I pray that I still have time to accomplish something with the talents you have bestowed upon me. I pray that you are still waiting for me to come to you and that you will welcome me home. Oh my dear Lord. I have so much to do. Please forgive me for my failures and help me to overcome them that I might truly live for you and with you and in you in all I think, do and say.

I do watch and wait for you to come back to me, my dear one. In many ways you are like the son who stayed and didn't ever disobey and is much loved for his devout steadfastness. And in some ways you are like the prodigal who goes off to squander all his treasure on a dissolute lifestyle. Come home to me and let me shower upon you all that I desire to give you and share with you of my life. You are very precious to me, whether you are the child who stayed or the child who needs to come home. I do long to love you totally and fully and completely. Will you come back and let me love you in this manner? You are forgiven for everything you have done and failed to do. I say to you, I love you and cherish you. Let me love you as I want to love you.

My God and My King. My Lord and My Savior. My Friend and My Love. I come home to you. I give myself entirely to you and your sweet mercy. I am yours to do with as you please. Just let me be with you always, wherever you go and whatever you do, I long to be with you. Please, do love me as you wish to love me.

Feast of the Chair of St. Peter

"And So I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."--Matthew 16:17-19

I wonder if Simon Peter was terrified when he heard these words or more likely, had no idea at that time what the Lord was expecting of him. It is almost at this time that Simon Peter also tries to get the Lord to not go to Jerusalem and Jesus says to him to "Get behind thee, Satan." which also must have stung Peter more than just a little....I know it would have stung me. The first reading today is from 1 Peter 5 and St. Peter exhorts his readers to not lord it over those assigned to you. That sounds like advice from someone who has done that very thing and been rebuked for it. I like hearing the exploits of St. Peter and of his fully understandable humanness. It gives me hope that I might still be able to accomplish something wonderful for the Lord, in spite of myself. I thank you, Lord for the gift of St. Peter and for choosing him to be the rock upon which you built your church. I pray for his succuesor, Pope Benedict XVI, that he might exercise wisdom and do your will always.
Thank you for all your blessings this day. Help me to continue to overcome my faults and to find my way to who you want me to be as we journey together this Lent. You are wonderful and I love you and adore you and give you thanks and praise for all you are and do.

Beloved one--
In reading this passage and celebrating this Feast day of my church...the church I founded upon my beloved Simon Peter, you must realize that it is not your faults I look at but your heart of love and your willingness to do whatever I ask of you. Think of St. Peter when you need inspiration and love and understanding. I did not love him less because of his faults but more and also saw that in spite of these faults, he could and would be the leader I needed to found my church. He learned humility but also had the strength of character to follow me wherever I asked him to go.....very far away from his comfort zone. Think on this and be thrilled that I also ask you to leave your comfort zone and follow me into the wilderness. Go in peace and love, my sweet one. I love you.

Being Tested

"Test me, O God, and knw my thoughts; see whether I step in the wrong path, and guide me along the everlasting way."--Psalm 139:23-24

When I first read this antiphon this morning, I was at first stricken with panic. What if I should be tested and fail? Oh, the thought caused me horrific pain as I realized that I do fail the Lord almost daily and that as I am tested, I increasingly come up short.

But then I continued to read and was again reassured by the infinite mercy of my God. How grateful I am that God has chosen me to be one of his children. Thank you, Lord, for choosing me and for granting me the graces and mercies I need to find favor with you. I know that on my own, I fail the test miserably, but blessed with your grace and mercy, I can find favor with you. Thank you.

Lord, help me to find my way into your heart that I might be nourished and comforted there and once sustained by your love, find my way to share your magnificence with others. Thank you, Lord for loving me.

I do love you and cherish you, my child. I have chosen you to do work for me that no one else can do. Do not be afraid of anything, even the testing. For all my tools must be tested that they might not fail when most needed. It is in the testing that you are made better and better until at last you are an apt tool for the work I have chosen for you.

Now, begin your classes and I will be with you to help you. I love you. Do not fear.

Using our words against us

Today's reading from Jeremiah about the dangers of being a prophet for the Lord speaks to my heart, even though I rarely have the courage to speak out loud my convictions that the Lord is using me to reach out to others.
I am particularly drawn to passages about how the prophet's enemies are plotting against him...keeping track of his words to use against him.
It seems like this happens alot today but by the media against politicians. They use recorded words to make their points about a particular candidate, to the point of selectively using the candidate's words. I wonder how many of us could be "hanged" by our own words if every word we spoke was used as the media sometimes uses a politician's words.
I grow increasingly concerned about our world and particularly about the Muslim tendencies of the world when I read of how Muslims are doing this or that in other countries. Lord, please bless and protect our country and keep it for yourself. You are Lord and King of the Universe. Help us to remember that and to speak it out, even if our words are later used "against" us. We must develop a greater willingness to speak out our love of and for You and to express our deepest belief that you indeed are the King of the Universe and King of all Nations. Grant me courage to fight against the growing tendency to allow others to proclaim their gods to Your detriment.
Forgive me for not doing a better job of my Lenten sacrifices and bless me with continued perserverance. I thank you, Lord, for your blessings.
Thank you also, Lord, for allowing me to see the lunar eclipe this evening. I thought for awhile that we were socked in with clouds and would not be able to view this gift of your heavens.

Hello, my sweet one--
Thank you for making the time to write this evening even though you are tired. I do appreciate that you changed your mind about just doing a quick draft post and going to bed and have instead done a regular posting. Thank you also for doing the second day of your novena prayers. You will be blessed for such obedience.
As you become more and more aware of the tendencies of others to proclaim their gods, you will develop the strength and wisdom necessary to battle for me. Do not fear the outcome...it has already been decided. It was decided on the cross when I died to redeem mankind from all their sins. Do not doubt that the victory has been won. Yes, each generation must decide for itself who their god is. Know that you will be granted whatever you need when the time comes. Pray for all but do not allow yourself to be caught up in the "all religions are equal" meme. You have one God and that is Me. Feel free to proclaim it to whomever needs to hear it. I love you. Go in peace.

Where Two are Gathered

This day my prayer partner and I met again in a Lenten journey the two of us are taking to know the Lord better.

Although we each enjoy praying and getting to know the Lord on our own, it amazes each of us that our prayers are more powerful when we pray together. It is one thing to know it..as in know it with your head, and quite another to experience the power of two together with your heart and soul.

Thank you Lord for that experience.

Worrisome thoughts

I don't know what to do about Angelina. I am so worried about her and her mother won't let me even speak with her.

Michelle says she is not being mean, but that is exactly what she is doing. I want to reach out to her but all I seem to do is make the situation worse. I know I should leave it up to Pat but he is so far away and it is more difficult for him than it is for me to contact someone who can do something about it. Lord, please help me. I will do what you want me to do in this situation. Please help me to do what is the very best for Angelina.

It is the Shepherd looking for the lost sheep that you must think of in this situation. Although you are concerned about Angelina, I also am concerned about her mother, who is the lost sheep. Pray for her. Pray long and intensly. Give thanks that Angel has a mother who does love her, even if she makes poor judgments. Pray a novena for Michelle beginning tomorrow and then we will determine what other actions you must take. Do not fear. I am protecting your little granddaughter with my angels. All is well. Be not afraid. I love you and will do the very best that I can to take care of this little one and her mother. Go in peace and know that I love you.

Being Transfigured

"While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud cast a shadow over them, then from the cloud came a voice that said, "This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him"--Matthew 17:4-5.

Clouds speaking and visions of heroes from the past. No wonder Peter, James and John fell prostrate to the ground and were frightened. These things would be enough to frighten anyone, and yet how very cool it would have been to be invited to walk high upon the mountain with the Lord and see him thus transfigured and hear the voice of the Father commending His Son How privileged those Apostles were and yet, how privileged am I that I also hear the Lord speaking to me in my heart.

Seeing the Lord so transfigured also changed these men from cowardly people into people who could speak boldly about their Lord and also be unafraid to die for him. They came a long way from the fishermen who were daunted by the sea.

How I hope to also be a bold servant of the Lord, and yet I feel I am a long ways from being so transfigured. I see all the times I fail my Lord and wonder why He puts up with me. I wonder how He has patience to deal with me committing the same sins over and over and never seeming to make much progress. Yet, here I am and I delight in the Lord, even when I remember things I have long known, but forgotten.

Thank you, my God and King for all the blessings you bestow upon me. Help me to do better tomorrow. Please bless and keep my family safe. Thank you for my family and for all the blessings that flow from their love. Help me to love them as they deserve to be loved.

And I'm still working on loving those who would be considered my enemies.

My beloved one--

We have walked upon the mountain together. I know you remember it for it was truly a moment of transfiguration for you, although you may not see the effects upon your soul, I do. It is not always apparent to the person being changed that change has occured, yet that change is magnificent for me to behold. You also know of some of the effects that walk upon the mount brought for your life has been altered by it. You knew it when it happened but it has faded from you memory. Be still and meditate upon it once again and feel the love we shared then. Know that I walk with you always, even during the times that may not be mountain top experiences. I also walk with you through the dark and through the lowest valleys. I am with you always to bring you back into the light and love of the Father. Do not fear to follow where I lead you for I have work for you to do wherever we may go. The work we do must sometimes be done in the lowest valleys and in some truly dark spots of this world. I say again, be not afraid, for I am with you and leading you where I want and need you to be. Rejoice. Again I say, rejoice!! I love you my sweet one. You are precious to me. Continue on as you have been doing. Strive daily to make more progress than you made today and eventually you will be once again transfigured. All is well.

Loving my enemies

"...But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..."--Matthew 5:44

What a radical concept it is for us to think of loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us. It was radical teaching in Jesus time and it is still radical today.

Oh, my lord, how often have I thought to hurt my enemies and those who persecute me, instead of doing your will and praying for them and possibly even loving them.

How impossible it seems to me at times to think of loving those whom I consider to be my enemies. How difficult it is to think of actually wanting you to bless them when I do pray for them.

Such teaching must have flummoxed those who were your enemies, my Lord.

I have, at truly inspired times I now know, done just that and prayed that you might bless those whom I consider enemies. It is an exalted thing when done truly and I pray that I might be so changed as to be able to do it at all times and actually want you to bless them. I know I have asked for you to do "your will" hoping it is code for doing something that will actually teach them a lesson. Forgive me for thinking that and change my, Lord, that I might want you to really bless them.

My child--

You are being changed into someone who really does want me to bless her enemies and to do good to those who persecute you. I am delighted in this aspect of your training. Remember, you are being trained and during this journey, our Lenten journey, I am teaching you lessons that I need you to learn so that your later work for me might be good and true.

I love you and bless you, according to my will. Go in peace.

Illness

My throat hurts, I am shivering and my nose is clogged. Yet I hear in my heart, that I should give thanks in all situations and circumstances, so I give you thanks and praise, my God and my King for sickness as well as for wellness as I give you thanks for all things in my life, I also give you thanks for this time of illness. I pray that I will recover soon and be a better servant.

An incredible promise

Ask and it will be given to you.--Matthew 7:7

What an incredible thought. And how wonderfully generous and merciful of you to offer it, my Lord and King. Thank you so much.

I ask to be more like you and to know you better each day, to love you as you love me and to do whatever you ask of me that I might be pleasing to you.

I am beginning to enjoy the freedom of working for my husband. It is truly a gift from God. I am so sorry for the neglects of your commands, my God and King.

I need to revamp my committment to you and to doing what you tell me.

I have to quit falling asleep after dinner. I need to get up and do something instead of watching television.

I will try again tomorrow, another fast day to change my habits and become more like you in all I say and do.

A failed fast

It is once again a day when I must beg for forgiveness. How do I overcome the habits that have me entrapped, dear Lord?
Please forgive me my laziness of this day and my lack of obedience, when I refuse to hear you and do as you command me. Help me to overcome these deficiencies that I might truly be one of your best servants. I am sorry for my failures. Help me to be the person you see.

I do forgive once again and have mercy on you for your failures. Abide in me that you may overcome all.

Three Legged Stool

Tonight, my prayer partner of many years and I began again to meet and pray together with the Lord. We meet once weeky at the church and together with the Lord, in the Tabernacle, we pray.

It has been a powerful time for us and it was good once again to meet. We had lapsed in our devotion, even though both of us know it is a special gift from the Lord.

I envisioned a three legged stool while we were praying in tongues. I have seen this vision several times lately and wondered about the significance of it. At first, I thought it might be my place within the work environment and I was the third leg of a three legged stool. But, I now know it is a reference to my prayer partner, myself and the Lord. It could also be the Trinity. I think it means that we, together, can form a sturdy platform. I don't know. What does it mean, Lord?

Forgive me my lapses in doing your will. I seek to do a little better and then I regress. I ask your forgiveness and mercy.

Do not fear. All is well. You are forgiven. Try to be more forgiving yourself. I love you and will make my visions clear to you as we go on. Go in peace and love to do my will.

Cherishing grudges

"Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against your fellow countryman." --Leviticus 11:18

Among today's readings, this verse stood out for me because I think I often do "cherish" a grudge. At least that word seems particularly apt when describing why I want to hang onto certain burdens of which the Lord is asking me to let go.

Why do I have such a difficult time, unless it is because I "cherish" them?

Once again today I am having trouble obeying and falling back into old habits. I must do better tomorrow.

Forgive me Lord, for my transgressions against you and help me to do your will.

I love you and want to follow you. Help me to be more obedient and forgive me when I am not.

Help me to not cherish grudges.

Dear one--

You are learning, even on days such as this when it seems you are making no progress. Know that we journey together into the depths of the human heart which may be termed an untamed wilderness and know that I love you and company with you on this journey. We will indeed find what you are looking for and you will become the person I want you to be.

Fear not.

After the Storm

It is so good to finally see blue sky. Thank you Lord for the blue sky and the color. It is astounding how the eye longs for color in a wilderness of white. Thank you, my God for all your blessings this day.
Forgive me for the shortness of this post. I will write more later. I love you.

A Wilderness of White

This winter is such a total whiteout. As we journey into the wilderness, it is a wilderness of white for me this year. Usually, my pictures of this time are mostly barren and brown, with background white. But this winter, all my photos are white..snow and blowing snow. It just keeps piling up and I thank you, Lord, for the blessing of water.

Thank you also for preparing my boss's heart and allowing me to quit with grace and class. It was difficult for me, but he was so kind about it and really seemed prepared for it. I just about wrote, was it prayer but then I realized that of course it was you, preparing his heart to hear me and know that it is time for me to be gone. At first when I told him and he was so kind, I thought perhaps, even relieved, that perhaps he has been wanting to replace me anyway. And perhaps he has thought about it. It's ok, even if he has as it makes it easier for me to move on.

So, I really feel as if I can begin my plans and preparations for our new life together, Lord. I had to re-read my Lenten obligations to you as I thought I had forsaken television again and failed miserably again. I will make reducing my television viewing time a part of my fasting.

I really liked Father's call to fast tonight and pray that I will find more and more ways to fast and pray.

Forgive me for the disobedience of offering my computer skills when you had told me to rely totally on you. Have mercy on me Lord for this act of disobedience.

It struck me tonight when reading of Eve's disobedience in eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil that such simple acts of disobedience have such long reaching effects. It scares me, Lord, that I might do something so thoughtless that someone far away or not yet born may suffer from it. Help me to remember how devastating those acts can be. It doesn't matter what the act is, if you are commanded not to do it, then you must not do it. Anyway, have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord.

I love you, my little one. Do not be afraid for I am truly leading you where I want and need you to be. It is exciting, what I have planned for you. You will not regret giving up the security of the job you just quit to work for me. I know it has been several years that you have wanted to do this and have thought of other ways to leave. But stepping out in faith is what I have wanted from you. You asked to win the lottery or hit a jackpot so you would have the financial security to leave. And I wanted you to find your security in me and to act on that belief. Thank you for finally hearing me and letting go of everything the world tells you is necessary. You know that all you need is me and I will provide. Continue to work on your lenten obligations as we continue our journey into the wilderness. In your instance, a wilderness of white, but a wilderness nonetheless. We will learn much about one another on the journey. Are you ready? Will you come with me wherever I lead you?

Yes, my Lord and my King, I will follow you. Lead me where you wish me to go. Thank you for loving me and for your mercy and forgiveness of all my failures. I so wish to be pleasing to you, my Lord. Thank you also for healing the wounds of my heart that I might set them aside on this journey. Even though they factored hugely in my dissatisfaction with my job, you healed them so they did not factor in my resignation. I love you.

A Tsunami of Snow

"Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridgegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast." --Matthew 9:15

Today when I heard these words proclaimed, I caught a brief glimpse of you, Lord. I realized for the first time how deeply you wanted to be married--a bridegroom-during your time here. You showed me just a brief glimpse into your heart and I realized how very much it must have hurt--at times--to put your mission ahead of your personal wants and desires.
And I also realized that you have been given all of us as your bride. We are the prize you won. You not only saved us, you won us for yourself--as compensation, perhaps, for the denial you had to accept while here. Thank you for saving me from my sins and also for allowing me to be one with you...to be a bride to you. Help me to be worthy.
I thought today was the day I would share my decision to leave with my boss, but I couldn't do it. I chickened out and I don't know why. I do want to leave and events that happen each day only confirm my decision, but I still hesitated to speak with him about it today. I have written it out and would just give it to him but I think this is the time when I need to find courage and speak with him. I am hoping to do it while he is alone, however and that wasn't going to happen this day. So I will try again tomorrow. Please be with me Lord as I find my courage to speak the words that need spoken.
The tsunami of snow that has blasted us today is incredible. The photo doesn't do it justice, but the blowing, whirling snow is nearly impenetrable. It has been howling almost nonstop and the way it creates a cloud of snow is amazing.
It occured to me today, also briefly, that the weather might be your way of giving us advance warning that your coming is imminent. The global warming cult would have us believe we can change it by reducing our carbon footprint. I wonder. I also wonder if perhaps we worked more at eliminating sin from our lives, if then the weather would level out? Or perhaps it will never level out and this is merely cyclic and nothing to be concerned about? I don't know the answers to these questions, but think perhaps it is your way of getting the attention of a world intent on ignoring you. Help me tho know that I might share my knowledge with others. I know I am such a coward about speaking...and that is why I find writing a blog so wonderful. I can share all my deepest thoughts and inspiratons with whomever chooses to read. I pray that I will learn more about how to get better readership.
Anyway, my Lord and King, that is how it went for me today. I also was given to think about fasting this day. I am learing to fast and although I am not good at it yet, I hope to be so that I might please you, my Lord and that I might also be a powerful prayer warrior for you.
Thank you for every thing you give me. I love you and want to know you more and more.

I accept your offerings this day as a loving parent accepts the gifts of a small child and makes much of it and puts it in a place of honor on the refrigerator or bulletin board. It is how you offer it that makes it a worthy gift and your intent is one of love and kindness. I know you think much about your own concerns but I also know you are a deeply compassionate person. Do not fear. You are in training. As you train and practice, you will get better until the day when I call upon you to do my will. Then the training and practice will tell and you will do great things for me. Do you believe this? I want you to believe this so that we might accomplish mighty things together.

Oh, my Lord. I do believe. I want so to be one with you and to do your will and to do it well. Please continue to train me and do not give up on me so that I might be your most holy and perfect servant. I love you.

I love you, too, my sweet one. Be at peace for I am with you and I have conquered the world.

The Journey's Second Day

"He is like a tree planted near running water,
That yields its fruit in due season,
and whose leaves never fade.
Whatever he does, prospers." Psalm 1:3

Those words from today's readings are what jumped out at me. It is a hopeful sign for me, in that I felt the Lord speaking to me, telling me that by planting myself at my husband's side and in our business (which just happens to be on the banks of the river) that we will yield much fruit and also prosper the work of our hands. Of course, the words apply to those who listen not to the counsel of the wicked but delight in the Lord and I hope that is who we are.
I truly feel that I am called to do this by the Lord, or perhaps it is in response to my prayers for a new mission.
I will tell my boss tomorrow that I am leaving and it will be difficult. I have been praying for a number of days and wrote out what I want to communicate to him. I have changed it numerous times but feel the Holy Spirit guiding me in what to say. I will take it to Church in the morning for the final blessing before I break the news to my boss.
As I think of the Lord's words, however, I am much comforted by His concern for me. He knows how difficult it is for me to let go of the security this job offers me and step out in faith to work with my husband. Yet, I am filled with joy and so looking forward to it. I know that God has plans for me and I am just beginning to realize it has been me who has been holding things up. The answers to my prayers have been awaiting action from me. The Lord must sometimes want to slap me upside the head because I can be so obtuse.
Yet, when I quiet myself to listen, I find he has been speaking all along. Thank you, Lord, for all your many blessings.

Thank you, my child, for your joyful obedience. It is so much more pleasant to take along a willing, joyful child than one who constantly fights the way we are going or whines and complains about the difficulties of the journey. Make no mistake, there will be difficulties and days of no comfort or joy, but your reward for obedience is great and you will be much blessed by it. Remember, we are heading into the wilderness for days of fasting and penance before the joy of resurrection.
But, I am happy you have agreed to come along on the journey. I am glad you want to know me better and will show myself to you as we journey. Be not afraid. I am with you always and guiding you in the way I want you to walk. Do you trust me?

Oh, my Lord and King,
Yes, I do trust you and thank you for choosing me to walk with you. I hope I will not weary you when things do get tough. I worship and adore you, my God and my Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the way you have chosen for me.

Ash Wednesday--The Journey Begins

I don't think there are adequate words to describe how bitingly cold it is this day. The wind knifes through even the hardiest person, slicing away all pretension that mankind has any business trying to compete with the Maker of the Universe--God Almighty.

How I thank you, Lord, that you have given me warmth and food and a place to be during all this coldness called "a real winter."

Thank you for all your many blessings this day.

It was so great to hear of answered prayers. When Marilyn phoned this morning to ask for prayers for her husband who had a heart cath and had to have stents put in, I called and asked our prayer group to begin praying for him. Tonight when I saw her at Ash Wednesday services, she said that within an hour and a half, he was doing so much better that he was allowed to come home. Praise you Lord God and thank you for taking such wonderful care of us.

Thank you also for confirmation that what you want from me during this Lenten journey is to begin to clear the clutter from my life--physically, emotionally and spiritually. It was as if Father had been in on our prayer session when I asked what you wanted from me. I know you want me to spend this time with you, writing of the happenings of the day and also to begin to clear some of the clutter from my life. It was good to hear Father affirm that is what you want from me on this journey.

So, we're off into the wilderness that you might speak to my heart. I look forward to the journey, my Lord and my friend, knowing that we will get to know each other better and better each day that we sojourn together.

Thank you for this time, my King and help me to do better each day at what you ask of me.

Come, follow me and I will make you fishers of men. Come, follow me and you will not be disappointed. Come follow me and you will know such joy and peace that passeth all understanding. Come, follow me into the wilderness, trusting to me to provide for your journey and for all that you need. I have called you to join me. Thank you for responding and for coming with me. You will not regret it. Know that I love you and cherish you and will take good care of you. Do not fear anything or anyone. You are a Child of God and heir to the Kingdom Do not be afraid to go where I ask you or do what I ask you. All is very well. You are precious to me. Go now and do the chore I have asked you to do this day. Be at peace, sweet one.

Preparation time

Well, I know now I certainly need to take a class on web posting and web site management. I am so excited to begin anew this year working with my husband in the business we own.
In my previous post, I noted that I was confident of getting the job I had applied for because the Lord told me it was going to happen.
I also asked the Lord if he would give me a small sign that what I was doing was truly his will and that sign was that I would remain silent until my husband spoke of the matter. I told God that I would abide by whatever came out of my husband's mouth as the Lord's will for me in this matter. It was so wonderful to hear my husband tell me that he thought it was time for me to join him in this endeavor. So, now I am preparing myself and my co-workers by much prayer for the moment when I will share the news with them. It is going to be difficult for me as I have held the job with this company for a total of 16 years. The people I work with are like family to me and so it will be difficult for me, but I know it is the best for me and I am thinking it is the best for them as well. I have gotten lazy in the work I now do and have little or no enthusiasm for it. So it will be better if I step aside and they can put someone in place who does have enthusiasm for it.
I thought to offer to continue to do some of the computer work..maybe after hours but I don't know if that's what the Lord wants for me. He seems to want me to totally let go and Let God, to borrow an oft-used expression. So, I will not offer. However, if my boss asks me...what should I say?
I will leave it up to you, My Lord and King as to what we will say should this happen. I know you have plans for me and I trust you in those plans, so I will not worry about it.
I do, however, find myself in need of some additional computer training and knowledge, so I will sign up for one of the courses that is currently offered through the community college outreach.
And, I must begin to work more at home on my house projects. Lent is again coming up and I would like to offer you a sacrifice that you truly want me to do, so what should I do, Lord?

Sweet one--
Thank you for your obedience today is sitting down to write out our conversations. You are learning to become my trusted and valuable servant and it will bring you many rewards. You are also my friend and my beloved child, all these things you are to me and you are progressing on your journey to become one with the Trinity and all of the heavenly host. The song running through your head this morning..."Rejoice and be glad for yours is the Kingdom of God," is a gift about your state today.
I truly do want you to completely free yourself from any attachment to your current position. For this reason, your boss will not ask you to do the computer work and so you will not have to choose. All is well. Do not fear, for I am guiding you where I want and need you to be.
As for your Lenten sacrifice, I would like you to continue to write on this blog, sharing with me your Lenten journey and what you are learning and doing and feeling and thinking. We have tried numerous times to get this done and I think this time we may actually be able to. So, in addition to a daily blog post, beginning on Ash Wednesday, I would like you to also do one household project a day. Accomplish something each day which you will pray about before and after so I know it is the daily offering. I leave it to you to determine what the day's offering will be and I will guide you daily if you do spend the time in prayer with me. Do these things as your Lenten sacrifice and I will bless you according to my most divine will. You will find such joy and delight in it.
Go now in peace. I love you.