A Mother's Love

I love my daughter so much and I fear that something is terribly wrong in her life.
She doesn't seem happy. She seems empty and sad and very tired.

Perhaps I am letting my imagination run wild.

Earlier this Advent, when I was wrapping gifts, I felt a sense of finality. As if I needed to make sure this Christmas was special. Not only for my daughter, but for my sons as well and my grandchildren.
But, my daughter and her family were going to be here and the others are not.

It was one of the reasons I made a point to decorate this year, even though it was minimal compared to the decorations of others. So that I could make a statement to them that it is important to honor the Lord.

It was sad, this brooding sense of finality or loss, but I am not sure what it actually meant.

Does it mean that I am approaching my death? Or is one of my children?

When my daughter was just here with her husband and their daughter, the sense returned that there is something not right going on. Too much alcohol? My beautiful daughter seems to have lost interest in her appearance. Or is she being verbally abused so that she doesn't care about herself?
Or is there something physically wrong?

Or was it a more general sense that this might be the last time we would be celebrating Christmas with such generosity? That the times of giving gifts and Christmas festivity is drawing to a close?
Because the world is becoming darker every day.

I hope and pray that my sweet children can find their way to You, my Lord.

You are the reason for the celebration and to miss the importance of it is definitely something sad.

Perhaps I feel sad for so many people who do not recognize Your coming, neither the first time or that the time of Your second coming approaches.
Even if that means for some of us that death will take us before You return in Your Glory.

Lord, please bless my children, their spouses and their children with the sure knowledge that You, the Son of God, was born of the most pure virgin Mary. At midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. And that that is a cause for wonder and awe.
Thank you, my God.

Advent 2014, Day 6

"Then he reached down from heaven, caught hold of me, rescued me from that flood, saved me from triumphant malice, from the enemies that held me at their mercy. Evil days, when they faced me at every turn! Yet, the Lord stood by me, and brought me out into freedom again, his great love befriended me." ~ Ps 18: 17-20

Forgive me, my Lord and my God for the lapses these past few days in regards to my posts.
Forgive me, also, for the argument yesterday in front of the Tabernacle. I am not sorry I called her out for the lies being spread, but I am sorry it took place in the church after Mass. This is a holy place and I ask your forgiveness for violating the sanctity of it.
I am wondering if the silent and only spoken in the depths of my heart, "heart to heart conversation" I had with the Bishop regarding my thoughts on our pastor have been heard by the pastor or somehow affect him and have a bearing on his low self esteem?
I have tried to discuss it fairly and without bias, but I can be a harsh judge of others faults.
Forgive me for that as well. I do pray that the Bishop, who is responsible not only for the health and well being of his priests, but also his parishes, be granted the loving discernment he needs to make the best decisions for everyone.
Ah, my Lord. I have wanted this to be a holy time, preparing for your coming. Perhaps,  it is a testing time as well? I pray that I may be given the graces necessary to pass the test.
Thank you, my God and King, for your loving care of me. Guide me through the trials of the day.
Thank you! I love you!

Advent 2014, Day 3

"Behold, the Lord will come, and all his holy ones with him;
and on that day there will be a great light." ~ Cf. Zec 14:5,7

Earlier today, I watched a beautiful sunrise, reminding me of a great light.

I'm sitting here watching the clouds roll by at a fairly healthy clip. Probably about 30 mph. Just watching and waiting.

The sagebrush in which our vehicle is parked are bending with the wind, to and fro.
I am waiting and watching.
Come,  Lord Jesus, Come and fill me with your love, wisdom and light.

Advent 2014, 1st Monday

"Oh Lord, our God, unwearied is your love for us." ~ Antiphon from Night prayers

How remarkable it is that the Lord's love for us is unwearied. I have often thought that He must indeed weary of me once again coming to him with the same old sins and faults.
I weary of myself and my lack of progress.  How can God find me loveable? Yet, he does.
It reminds me of the time a number of years ago when myself and three friends were returning from a Marian conference. It was a spiritually filling experience, but an exhausting one.
We were giddy and talking about the highlights of the event. One of the topics was how Jesus and Mary are continually working to bring us all back into the fold when my dear friend said, "Don't you think they want a day off?" In all seriousness.
We all laughed until we had tears rolling down our cheeks and our sides ached from the laughter we shared over that comment.
Of course, we all agreed that they probably did want a day off, but we were all thankful that they didn't take one yet and are still working for our salvation.
Thank you, Lord. For not being wearied by your love for me.