Reflection

Today I spent some time re-reading my own blog posts.

I wanted to determine if I merely prattled incoherently or if I was actually posting something valuable. 

I did better at posting "something of value" when I took time to listen to my God and write about the lessons He wants me to learn.

I did not do as well when I didn't take the time to listen and then post what God was speaking to my heart.

So, as I begin to prepare myself to go into the desert with my God during Lent, I find I must begin anew with lessons I have learned in the past but have gradually neglected.

It is so seemingly easy to let this lesson go "just for today" and that then becomes another day and another until it has slipped from memory altogether. 

So, my Lord and my God, I re-dedicate this blog to you. Help me to do your will and to do it well.

"My sweet child, 

Know how much I love you. You have done better on some days than on others. Put the past behind you and begin anew. Yes, I have given you the Advocate, the Holy Spirit to assist you. Listen to Him that you might be filled with joy and peace. Delight in the ways in which He reveals us to you. 

And do not be afraid. I will give you whatever tools you need to accomplish whatever task I set before you. Trust in me and I will greatly bless you."

Thank you, my God and my King. I love you.

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Obedience

"The word of God is living and effective,

able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart." ~Heb 4:12

Monday's first reading from 1 Samuel 15 is about obedience and sacrifice. 

"Does the LORD so delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obedience to the command of the LORD?

Obedience is better than sacrifice,
and submission than the fat of rams." ~1 Samuel 15:22

King Saul had been commanded to exterminate all in Amalek, including all the animals. Yet, he kept the best of the animals and destroyed only what had little or no value, claiming that he disobeyed in order to sacrifice it to the Lord.

Yet the Lord sees through this phony "sacrifice" that Saul is offering and lets him know his sacrifice is not acceptable. 

Obedience to God is more worthy than sacrifice, especially sacrifice that honors ourselves more than God, even when it doesn't make sense to us. We must choose to be obedient to our God. 

Or what is the point of calling ourselves Christian?

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Self renunciation

Some of my readings this day have been about the renunciation of self. That has given me pause because I don't know if I have or do this sufficiently to gain the fullness of life that Christ promised.

Then there is the thought that if I desire the fullness of life, I have not denied myself at all.

Lord, what say you? Help me to understand.

In response, I was directed to the following scripture verse:

"He summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.

35For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it.36What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?37What could one give in exchange for his life?38Whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this faithless and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

~ Mark 8:34-38

Official commentary on this scripture points out that the "fullness of life" is actually the eternal life promised by Christ to those who are His faithful disciples and followers, even if they should die or "lose their life. "

I was thinking in terms of earthly "fullness of life," meaning that sweet intimacy of seeing my Trinitarian God in others or in some circumstance that gives me joy.

I don't have to deny the joy of a Christ filled life..indeed we are supposed to rejoice always.

I just need to remember that even greater things await me if I can make it to the end without denying Christ for the sake of earthly comforts and consolations.

Thank you, my Lord and my God.

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Steps toward holiness

"Trust that God will bless even small, simple steps and make them fruitful. Remember, God loves to reveal himself to us. He is so eager that he will take any opportunity we give him and use it to bring us closer to him.

When we allow the Holy Spirit to form us, people notice. No matter our circumstance, we begin to bear the fruit of the Spirit, and that fruit has the power to affect the people around us.

We become more cheerful and free-spirited because we know that our lives are in God's hands. We become less concerned for ourselves and more concerned for other people because we are convinced that God is looking out for us." 

~ Taken from "Portraits of Holiness", a feature article in "The Word Among Us" Jan 2018 issue

These quotes, although pulled from the same article but with much more content in between them, seem to express exactly where I am on my spiritual journey towards holiness.

Thank you, Lord.

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The Gift of Prayer

"But, for prayer itself, the secret is always to follow the attraction given to us. Oh, my God, how many souls are oftentimes troubled about their prayer, doubting if they pray correctly, and yet to pray as he draws them is all God asks." 

~ St. Jane Frances de Chantal in "A Simple Life." This quote is from a conference talk given to the Sisters of the Visitation.

I have often been distressed because my heart's thoughts during prayer have wandered away from the words of the prayer, focusing instead on something that seems to draw me.

Now, I learn it is God drawing my heart and my prayers to a concern of His that needs prayers. He is truly wonderful and takes care of us, helping us to pray for those concerns he gives us even when we don't know exactly what is troubling.

Another quote this day is:

"Your ability to pray is a treasure greater than all the riches in the world."

~Gary Zimak from "Stop Worrying and Start Living"

So, it appears that even distracted prayer has some value, especially if the prayer is filled with love. Everything depends on love.

Thank you, my Lord, for giving me love and the gift of prayer.

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Learning how to use the gift

Oh, how I thank you Lord for your loving care of those I love in, with and through you.

There can be no explanation other than I am experiencing your joy in loving what is best for someone whom we both love. 

I recognize this because it is not something I am capable of finding joy in by myself. It has to be part of the gift the Holy Spirit granted to me. I am not able in and of myself of finding such joy in the care you show for these other people. 

It was so wonderful and so liberating to realize you are doing what is best for these people. And, extending this further, I realize You are also caring for me and my loved ones as well.

Oh, my God. You are so wonderful and I thank and praise you for the gift and for knowing that I am able to use it to help those whom I think or see need something. 

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Depending on Love

A palm tree graces the sky and reminds me of the land of Christ's birth.

"Everything depends on how we love each other." ~ Mother Theresa,  from Thirsting for God



In pondering this astute observation from Mother Theresa, I find it incredible and awesome while also intimidating.

Think about it:
Everything....there is nothing that is not included in this
Depends.....something that is contingent on 
How we love each other..how we treat one another, how we act towards those among us who are less than lovable, all the people with whom we come into contact with on a regular basis. In St. Mother Theresa's world that would be those "poorest of the poor," to whom she and her Missionaries of Charity ministered to where ever they could be found.

To me, it means primarily my family...spouse, children, grandchildren, in-laws, friends and co-workers. I rarely have to deal with someone who could be considered "unlovable," although there are people with whom I often grow angry.

Still, the words "Everything depends on..." brings to mind how the problems facing our world might be solved....by "loving each other."
Quite a different outlook than that of our elected civic leaders and unfortunately, also by many church leaders. Still, it is an approach advocated by many in Christian ministries and for that I am thankful and also optimistic.
If I can start by loving those whom I find disagreeable or unlovable...then maybe that will inspire those whom I love to love the folks they find unlovable and it just keeps growing and getting better until one day it will be accomplished.

Thank you, my Lord and my God, Holy Trinity, and Blessed Mother for the gift of love you gave us this Christmas. Please help me to begin acting as if "Everything Depends on How we love each other."

Recognizing the potential

"It is clear that the habit of giving an upward glance to God at the moment of action is a great assistance in aiding us to behave always with a pure intention and in freeing us from our natural impulses and fancies, so, that, retaining our self-mastery, or rather, God becoming the sole Master, all our movements become dependent upon the Holy Spirit." ~An excerpt from "How to Pray Always" by Raoul Plus 

When my Christmas prayer and heart's desire was given to me this year, following the 24 day the Christmas Anticipatory Prayer, I was unsure how to contain my joy and ecstasy and more importantly, put it to good use for God's glory. My natural fancies tend toward self glorification.

As I began to work through the gift itself, essentially unwrapping this extraordinary gift of the Holy Spirit and Mary, I am beginning to realize that I must put all my actions into the Presence of God before I act.

This small offering of each random thought or act will result in it obtaining God's blessing on everything I do. Essentially, what it means to "pray always."

That in turn seems to keep the joy and delight always before me, inspiring me in ways I hadn't considered or had considered and rejected.

I realize I am just beginning to "unpack" this gift and all it means, but my deepest prayer is that I do no dishonor to our Lord. I would be devastated to realize I have done something with this gift that is displeasing to God or to Blessed Mother.

That brings me to this reading from today's 

scripture:

"We are God's children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed." (1 John 3:2)

So, the steady and consistent practice of utilizing the gifts of God for His Glory will transform me into someone whom I am not today. Someone I want to be in the deepest recesses of my heart. More importantly, someone God wants me to be.

Thank you, my Lord and my God. I love you. 

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Treasuring the Mission

"So when you know your mission, be astonished by what God has done, and never stop treasuring it." 

~ Bishop Robert Barron, taken from a reflection on the Gospel for Jan 1, The Solemnity of Mary who treasured many of God's gifts in her heart. 

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