When I awoke this morning, I was tired even though I had slept fairly well. I have been trying to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays and so began this day with fasting in mind.
Fasting has become important to me even though it is something I apparently need to practice practice practice in order to be able to do it well, I guess. I perhaps need to practice in order to be able to do it at all. At any rate, as the day went on, it became apparent to me that I wasn't going to fast as I had hoped and planned. Just too many little inconsistencies throughout the day caused me to forget to deny myself. So at lunchtime I had lunch and asked the Lord to forgive me for not holding to my fast this day.
As usual, I was feeling guilty about breaking the fast. I was still feeling that way when I went to Mass to celebrate the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. As I was leaving Mass, Father wished me a Happy Feast Day! It then occured to me that the reason I couldn't fast was because it was a feast day and Blessed Mother wanted me to feast on this special day instead of fast. Talk about an awesome recognition of the Lord!! It was so special to me to know first of all that they desired me to enjoy myself on the Feast Days of the church, secondly that it is by grace that I am able to complete my fasts on those days I commit to doing so and thirdly that if I had left right after communion as I was tempted to do that I would have missed the blessing of knowing and recognizing the Lord in that moment.
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