The Jesus Question

Knarly Tree

"Then the Lord will guide you always and give you plenty even on the parched land.
He will renew your strength, and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring whose water never fails." ~ Isaiah 58:11

The Jesus question is the one that Jesus asks of all his disciples, "Who do you say that I am?"

And it is one that each of us must answer ourselves. The answer of who Jesus is to me is a question that only I can answer for myself.

I guess that is probably true of all  our relationships with others. Who a friend is to me may be different than who a friend is to another person, even though both of us may deem that person a friend. Because how we interact with our friends is a deeply personal thing.

In order to find out who Jesus is to me, I had to stop everything I was doing...all the readings and writings from others whom I consider to be wiser or better informed about Jesus. I had to sit quietly and just listen to the "small still voice within" that is Jesus to me.

Yes, Jesus is my Lord and my friend. He is the small, still quiet voice within my heart telling me what I should do in any given situation, but not demanding it of me. Just advising me that it might be a better course of action to do this rather than that. The problem I have is one that I am sure everyone also has...that of quieting the many voices in our lives to listen to the quiet voice of our Lord and Friend.

I find that I have known Him deep inside of my heart for many years..since He first called me to "come, follow me." I find that I have also ignored Him on far too many occasions. But that He still considers me to be lovable and valuable. I pray that I might become the kind of friend to Him that He has always been to me...someone whom I can count on when the "chips are down," as we say.

I will need His mercy and love to be that kind of friend to Him. In order to be at His "beck and call" I will need to be more disciplined so that I listen earnestly for His voice, so that I do not find excuses to put off what He is asking of me. I need much, my Lord and my God, my Friend.

Will You help me to become the kind of friend to You that You have always been to me? Will You help me to become one of Your most loyal and dedicated servants, one that You can call on "when the chips are down?

In answer to those questions, I was inspired to read again the Mass readings for today and the verse from Isaiah above spoke to my heart...the Lord spoke to me through His living Word, written for our edification that we might always find Him. So, I find that He not only speaks to me deep inside my heart, but also through His written Word, which makes sense because He is the Word. It tells me not to limit how or when I might hear him speaking to me..that I might find it in any number of ways.

What a blessing to be loved by such a generous, merciful and loving God. Thank you, Lord, for loving me and for calling me to be One with you and for forgiving me for all my failures of love, listening and life. Please help me to do better this day.

Gifts for the Lord, Advent, 2010

Inside looking out at the snow

Lift up your heads and see; your redemption is near at hand.--The responsorial Psalm from Today's readings

Last night I was upset because of the "lack of quality gifts" that we received from one of my sons. It's a very unChrist-like response to this season of loving and giving, I know.
For some reason, this son and his family always seem to take but never to give...at least as generously as I think they should. So when I received the package of small gifts from his family, I was upset. They spend a lot of money on themselves and on their wants, but never seem to have any left over to share with their parents or siblings on my son's side of the family. I suspect the gifts given to his wife's side of the family are much better. So, I am feeling like not a lot of preparation went into their gift giving for our family.
It's not all about the gifts, I know that, and I was having so much trouble with this.I guess I still am having trouble with this, even though in the depths of my angst over this, the Lord gave me a very eye-opening and humbling view of my own paltry gifts to the Christ child.

At the beginning of Advent, I had told the Lord that I would make an effort to write daily, spending time in reflection and preparation of His coming. Well, I have obviously failed spectacularly at this and so my own gift to the Lord is as paltry and skimpy as the gifts given to us by our son and his family. There is a wonderful lesson in there for me, I know. I want to have the generosity of heart to accept the spirit of the gifts given by my son's family. The problem is that I don't think there was much spirit in it at all. I can say the same of my gift to the Lord, however. I am hoping against hope that the paltry offering I have for Him will somehow be transformed by Love into something wondrous and grand for Him, but before that can happen I need to find the gift of the spirit in my reaction to the gifts given by my son's family.
Yesterday, as I sat with my prayer partner in the church, I saw the Lord "scrubbing clean the dark places of my heart and soul in preparation for the coming of the Lord." That was before I opened the box of gifts from my son. Now I feel like I need another scrubbing.
Lord God, my King and my Savior, please forgive me these selfish feelings and bring me to the place where you want me to be...unselfish and giving and totally appreciative of all that You have done for us in sending Your beloved Son into the world that we might have life and have it to the full.
Lord, I just about blew it and sent my son a nasty email. Your angel stayed my hand, however, and encouraged me to send a more positive message instead. Thank you for that.
Also, please accept my paltry gift and grant me the grace to strive to give you my time in writing and reflection each day of the coming Christmas season, for starters. I'll try to make it better.
Lord, I do love you. Help me to love you more and more...as much as you love me. Also, please bless my son and his family with the true spirit of Christmas.

Sweet Child,

We do love you so very much. That is one reason why we showed you how your gifts stacked up in comparison to your son's gifts. It is the spirit of giving that matters...not what is given. You did not have the right spirit until you sent the P.S. to your son. We will use that simple message to bless you and your son and his family with such love that your heart will be scrubbed clean and you will receive the Lord in your heart this Christmas. Go in peace, my love, and continue your preparations for Christmas. We love you.