A Lost Moment in Time

A small statement in the church bulletin on All Saints Day caught my attention. It said that St. Paul didn't spend all his time doing religious or spiritual things.
Rather, he simply listened for the voice of God, did what he was commanded to do and incorporated that into his every day life. I can do that, I thought.
My Sunday and Monday were spent in the joyous ecstasy of knowing God's will for me and talking almost continuously to God from the heart. Or, as He has told me in the past, in having a real heart to heart conversation.
It was an exquisite couple of days, those moments when you absolutely positively KNOW that God is God and loves you on a deeply personal level. It is a priceless consolation and a time to be cherished.
However sweet those days are, they cannot be sustained else we would die of ecstasy.  I spent the next two days trying to hold onto the sweet memory of what had been revealed to me during those heart to heart conversations.
Still a joyous time, but more grounded. I didn't yet have the opportunity to put into practice the things I had heard.
On Wednesday evening, I received what I considered to be a command from God for the next day.  It was simple, yet not something I would do on an ordinary weekday.
I was determined to obey, however, because I was sure it was something God was asking me to do. It was to wear a certain outfit that I would normally consider too nice for just an ordinary weekday.
When I woke up on Thursday morning, however, I was distracted. I couldn't/didn't focus my prayers on Christ. I was focused on myself.  I did wear what the Lord had asked me to wear. Because He had asked it of me,  I was waiting for something special to happen. I thought I would be meeting someone whom the Lord wanted me to meet and that "something big" would happen.
So I was giddy, somewhat silly,  distracted and not ready for the big moment when it actually happened.
Or rather, I should honestly say, in the moment when I heard God's command to me:
"Smile and say hello," to a person, I lost the moment.

I panicked and found an escape route so that I wouldn't make eye contact with the person and neither smiled nor said hello.
Forgive me, Lord, for not obeying your simple command to me. It is a moment that is lost and cannot be found again.
I pray that it was a lesson God wanted to teach me and not something that will cause the person to lose faith or their soul.
It was such a simple command and I failed to do it. Forgive me, my Lord, for failing to obey your simple command to me.
There are many lessons to be found in this experience. I pray that I will have a future opportunity to obey and actually DO what God asks of me.
1) God's commands are often the really simple, ordinary things He wants us to do in our everyday life, like just smiling at someone and saying hello.
2) We must stay focused on Christ in order to do what He asks of us in a way that will be beneficial to others and to ourselves.
3) The true joys of life are found in obedience to God's commands to us.
4) While we may be called upon to do "something big" for God, we should be prepared to do the little things well on a daily basis. Those little things might turn out to be "something big."
5) Once the moment is gone, it's truly gone. You may have an opportunity to act again or you may not. Be prepared for the moment when you are called.
I shudder to think of the consequences of how I  have failed my God when I panicked and lost the moment of action, of obedience in doing God's will.
I pray that it was a lesson time;  when He was showing me that any action, when done in His will, can be a "something big" moment. And that by not doing what I was commanded, I pray I didn't cause someone to lose faith.
I pray that I will have another opportunity to smile and say hello to someone with whom the Lord wants me to speak.
Thank you, my Lord and my God for all your blessings. Forgive me for my failures and please don't give up on me. Please give me another opportunity to do what you command of me.

Fall Beauty

The Pope's Visit to the U.S.

Pope Frances has just completed speaking to the United Nations. He addressed the U.S. Congress yesterday and has made other speeches as well.

I am tired of hearing how the Pope pushes a left wing agenda. He has articulated Catholic positions.

He asked the Bishops to seek to heal divisions and in leading by example, he wasn't divisive in his addresses or harsh or "in your face."

Because of this, many pundits and commentators are calling him a Marxist or the Anti-pope or other nonsensical things. He's the leader of the Catholic Church and advocates for life, in all stages; for the poor, for humane treatment of immigrants; for the abolition of the death penalty and for good stewardship of planet Earth.

His speech at the U.N. was more explicit in articulating Catholic positions than his speech to the U.S. Congress, but both managed to get his point across. Yes, some of those positions agree with the American political left. Some of them also agree with the American political right.

But, all of them are Catholic positions and I wish people would quit disparaging our Pontiff. His positions are very similar to those Christ might have taken were He to address such august bodies.

Yes, there were times when Christ railed against things He didn't like. The over-turning of the money changers tables in the temple comes to mind. But, more often than not, Christ was kind, loving and merciful. He showed His love by healing and feeding people, not by offending them.
There were many times when Christ could have taken offense, such as the time when he wasn't offered water to bathe his feet and a woman of ill-repute washed them with her tears and dried them with her hair. Did Christ get all huffy and puffy about it? No, He took the opportunity to teach Simon about God's love and mercy.

Our Pontiff is using his time in America to show a way past the ugly, partisan divide that has paralyzed our leaders and inflicted our daily lives with strife and tension. Is Pope Frances perfect? No. He doesn't claim to be. Instead he claims to be a sinner in need of forgiveness.

I keep thinking about Jesus and  Simon Peter when He gave Him the keys to the Kingdom. Jesus knew Peter wasn't a perfect person and yet, He still trusted Peter to lead the young church. And that trust has accompanied each person who has been Pope for the history of the church.

In other words, Christ knows what He is doing. Through the Holy Spirit acting in, with and through the College of Cardinals, Christ selected another successor to Peter, upon whom He built His church and "the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it."

I can understand that some might not trust Pope Frances. I can understand that some might view the Pope's ideology through the lens of their own and find it wanting. But what I cannot understand is that Catholics of all stripes do not trust in Christ. After all, it's His Church and He has promised that it will endure. So, why not trust Him?

Into the Ark

"As it was in the day of Noah, so it will be in the days of the Son of Man; they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage up to the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all." ~ Luke 17: 26-27.

Well into the fourth week of Easter and almost into May, I realized that now is the time to "pack up" and move into the new Ark of the Covenant.
The world spins more out of control on a daily basis and we children of God must prepare ourselves for the epoch "flood" about to deluge the world.
Of course, I am not speaking of a water flood, but of a last and terrible onslaught of evil that is about to break upon us all.
As I write this:
1) Economic indicators are grim because of the debt load of virtually every nation.
2)Russia, China and Iran grow increasingly aggressive. The Chinese are building a base on some islands as a precursor to a battle with Japan; Russian military taunt other nations; Iran sits at the table talking peace but readies itself for war and intercepts ships in international waters. The U.S. does nothing.
3) The persecution of Christians grows daily with the onslaught by LGBT groups intent on forcing their way of "life" on everyone.
4)The education of our children has been co-opted by those with agendas far different than what many parents feel is appropriate.
5) Racial instigators urge altercations, especially with law enforcement,  even when no racial injustice has been committed.
6) The lies and corruption that abound in the governing class are astounding, even treasonous as our country is being sold out.
7) Natural disasters are just beginning to gear up...earthquakes, volcanos, floods, drought and undoubtedly plagues somewhere.
When taken all together, one must "read the signs of the times."
Our news outlets do little to keep us informed on the potential turmoil about to be unleashed. Rather, they do everything to convince us that all is hunky dory.  Buy another this or that, turn on the tv and don't think about it.
For too long I have ignored the signs and put off moving into the Ark. But I cannot ignore it any longer.
Of course, the new Ark of the Covenant is Mary, Blessed Mother.  She beckons us to come into her that we might be saved as she bears us to her Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Oh what sweet relief it is to find refuge in Blessed Mother. I don't pretend to think that I will be unscathed, but I know that Mary commands the angels and saints to fight for my soul. I am thankful.
My Lord, I beg forgiveness for my neglects of your commands.
Help me to go forward into the new day, prepared for the battle and thankful and joyous because I am a child of God.

Forgiveness and Mercy

Then Peter approaching asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times." ~ Mathew 18:21-22

The Wilderness

I have been a longtime fan of Tom Selleck and I am usually pleased with the characters he chooses to portray in his many movies and television shows.

So it was with utter dismay and sadness that I watched the most recent television episode of Bluebloods.

In this episode, Selleck's character Police Commissioner Regan, is called upon by a longtime friend who met with tragedy years ago when her family was brutally murdered. She was six years old at the time and the young woman is grown and about to get married. Life seems to be going well for her. She meets with the Commissioner and shows him a letter she has received from the person who committed the crime of murdering her family. She hasn't read the letter but gives it to him and asks him to read it.

She later asks him to tell her what's in it and he tells her that the criminal who is behind bars for the rest of his life wants to meet with her. It's because of a program called "Restorative Justice," that has been instituted by the penal system. The Commissioner tells her he doesn't advise it for her. He wants her to be happy and go about her life without the specter of meeting with the man who brutally murdered her family.

She leaves but later comes back and insists that she's going to meet the criminal. PC Regan tells her she isn't going alone because he can't see any good coming from this program for her, at least. He is thinking only of her and thinks that the man is playing some kind of mind game with her and that meeting with him will only haunt her for the rest of her life. She thinks that meeting him will allow her to put it behind her.

So, they go to the prison. The man tells her that he has a mental illness but that he has been properly diagnosed and because of proper medications can now realize the horror of the evil he committed against her. He doesn't expect her forgiveness but wanted to meet with her and tell her how truly sorry he is for that crime.

What comes out of the mouth of this young woman is the harshest kind of vile evil I have ever heard. She despises him and wishes that his attempts to end his life were successful. She insists on him looking at photos of the family she no longer has and jabs him with the punches that she will not be able to enjoy their company at her wedding. She asks that he attempt suicide again, only to make it a successful attempt. Her tirade is truly hateful.
Perhaps understandable, but what I failed to comprehend is that Selleck's character sat there and instead of being appalled by her spewing of this vileness merely nodded sagely, as if he completely agreed with the premises that she was extolling.

After this, the next scene is at her wedding and PC Regan gets up and extols the virtues of this young woman as if he had never heard the vile evil spewed forth by her just days before.
I found the whole episode to be a terrible example of what a "good Catholic" like PC Regan is supposed to be, what justice is and what compassion and mercy truly mean.
It could have been an example of how to forgive, how to be merciful, what compassion looks like, what Christianity and Catholicism truly is. Instead it was a cop-out to the secularism of the day.

Everyone seemed to think it was justified that she be allowed to spew hatred at the man who murdered her family, with the exception of Baker, the Commissioner's secretary. She believes people can change and tells the Commissioner so, even inviting him to fire her if she ever thinks otherwise.

I found Baker's view of the fallen nature of man to be more in line with authentic Catholic teaching. It is so difficult to forgive, especially when extreme hurt has been done. Yet, hanging onto hurt and wishing violence against another isn't healing. Instead of it being a healing event for anyone, it was the most tragic of episodes because hatred and vengeance never heal.

Only by forgiving can we escape the violence done us. Christ knows that and tries to show it by forgiving his executioners from the cross.

Heart Ignited by Love

The Shelter House

During a meditation yesterday on the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary, I was shown a vision of my heart being ignited with the fire of love for souls.

This was just what I needed because myself and a friend are beginning a ministry of reaching out to lapsed Catholics.

Although we agreed to pray together for 40 days prior to taking any action, I wasn't feeling "the love" I should be experiencing for souls that are in danger of being lost.

So, I was much relieved when I saw and felt my heart being ignited with the fire of love for souls yesterday. It is a gift from God. Try as I might, there was nothing in me that enabled me to feel this love for my neighbor. It had to come from God and it had to be given during a quiet time as I listened to Him.

Very often, I am so busy with all the prayers I think I need to be praying and the deeds I need to be dong that I often forget I must also just be quiet before the Lord and absorb His love and His goodness so that I have it to pass along to others. I am like an empty vessel when I do not take the proper time to prepare myself for whatever God has in mind for me for that day.

I also experienced a moment of total surrender prior to that moment of seeing my heart ignited with love. I have been having trouble breathing and it had gotten so severe during the previous night that I had the feeling of "impending doom" that I was nearing death. I was panicked as I lay in bed that night, struggling to adequately breath and gasping for breaths. I thought of all I have left to do or things that have been left undone by me and I was fighting it.

Then, at some point, I realized that I wasn't trusting God and His mother as I need to trust them. I wasn't and am not sure what they have in mind for me, but at some point, I just surrendered to them. If it wasn't done, it wasn't because I hadn't had the time to do so...time that I wasted. I surrendered to God's mercy and just realized that there is nothing I can do to prolong my life if God wants to take it at this time.

I felt a great sense of peace at that moment of surrender, but I also know that I have been healed. The healing isn't instantaneous, but it is coming or will come. Even if the healing is just spiritual, I am content, knowing that God and His Blessed Mother...my Blessed Mother have my life in their hands and I trust in them.

I praise you and thank you, my God and Blessed Mother for all the blessings poured out upon me. Please guide me this day that I may do your will.

Seeking Faith

Jesus said to his disciples: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." ~ Matthew 7:7-8

I have always loved this reading from the book of Matthew. It speaks so eloquently of the Father's generosity, I so often sit around, begging for crumbs, as if I am an orphan, and yet I am a daughter of the King.
Is it because I do not truly believe these wonderful words from Jesus' mouth? Or just that I lack sufficient faith to truly believe that God will give me all good things?
I do know better for I have often received such wonderful gifts and God truly takes care of me in all my needs and desires. But, it seems as if I forget it too often.
Lord, I pray for more faith. Increase my faith, that I might truly live my life according to the above scripture verse. Amen and I thank you and praise you for all the wonderful gifts you have given me, even if I sometimes forget that you have blessed me so abundantly.

Snow Rainbow

I have been trying to wean myself from the scourge of our day that is television. While it can be a useful tool, as all tools are useful for something, I use it more by force of habit that from any need for this tool.
It has become a mechanism for allowing evil to insidiously infiltrate itself into my home and life, and still I do not shut it off. I have begun turning off the particularly vile programs, but it has become so invasive that even the commercials are a means of transporting evil into my home.
I do not watch it during the day and have started turning it to old programs in the evening after my husband has gone to bed. I can enjoy watching these programs without the benefit of commercials, but I still watch too many of these old programs.
Most importantly, I have been shown, that it is vital to my spiritual health that I do not fall asleep in front of the television while it silently delivers into my subconscious all kinds of evil.

A couple of nights ago, I was plagued by a series of ugly dreams. My husband often has nightmares, or so they seem because he is a person who talks in his sleep. Often his words are violent and distressing.
I have begun to wonder if the reason for his unrest is because I watch television while he is sleeping and so allow evil to enter his subconscious, even if the programs I am watching are not or do not seem to be particularly evil.
Is it the mechanism itself that allows evil to enter our home unimpeded?

It has opened my eyes to what I need to do while he is sleeping and that is to turn it off and do my reading and praying instead of watching even old programs.

I also have been shown that I need to use holy water and blessed salt to cleanse our bedroom from any lingering evil spirits that might be lurking around. So that is what I shall do.

The Lord has already asked me to give us my daily "news blog" readings for Lent. I think it is because I am so overloaded with views from a particular point of view that I am not open to new ideas or views He might be wanting to impart to me. So, am also cleansing myself of my "addiction" to reading news blogs.
I am still reading Catholic blogs and news sites, however, so I do get my "internet fix," at least for now. I thank you, Lord, that you do allow me some internet use. Please guide my choices and help me to firmly stick with my Lenten fast. It may be that I will not even desire to return to those sites once Lent has passed.

God is so good to me and has blessed me so abundantly. I am learning to praise Him in all things and so I hope that I will continue to grow spiritually as I continue this Lenten practice.
Praise you, my God and my King.

My Sweet One, I bless your efforts. Go in my peace, knowing that all is well. I love you.

A Sacrifice of Praise

Hush, now my little one.

You have just feasted on readings and meditations. Let your heart and soul absorb them or digest them. Give yourself time to understand the deep meaning of what you have just consumed.

Yes, thank me for everything during this Lenten journey. A sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving is what I desire from you this Lent.

Give me the gift of a grateful heart, overflowing with thanks and praise for all the gifts you have been given.
Shout for joy on the days when your soul can hardly contain all the goodness I am bestowing upon you.
Even though it is a penitential season, there is still much to be joyful about.

Oh, my Lord. I do thank you and praise you for all the gifts you have bestowed upon me.

Throughout the day, I want you to turn to me and say thank you.

Each time something happens, thank me. Especially when it may seem like something that is not pleasing to you. Thank me and continue to thank me until your heart truly sings for joy.

Oh Lord.
I Thank you and praise you for your many great gifts to me. There is much that I have taken for granted throughout my life. I have been so pampered. Help me to share some of these blessings with others, that they might come to know and love You.

Lord, give me your holy zeal and love for all people.

Show me, Lord, who you want me to be.

Follow each inner nudging that I give to you. That is how I am speaking to you, deep in your heart and soul.

Thank you, my God and King.

Ash Wednesday, 2015

Such turmoil exists in the world today. The terrorist group ISIS has just beheaded 21 Coptic Christians and reportedly burned alive 45 people in Iraq.
May God take these murdered people straight to heaven.

We have been warned, indeed God has granted us such divine gifts of Mercy in this ever darkening time that it is almost overwhelming.

And still, so many people are turning away and buying into the deception that is drenching the earth with filth and sin.

It is a time of preparation, as Lent ever is, for the Resurrection of our Lord.

The Church, too, must go through its own Passion before it can experience its Resurrection.

I pray, Lord, that I will be a bright light for lost souls and that I can be a good Fisher of men and women for You during the coming time of persecution.

Christ will guard His Own

"Christ will guard His own." ~ St Agnes
Thank you so much for calling me to your Presence, my Lord and my God.
I truly love being here with You.
To quote the hymn, "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."
Thank you for the wonderful way You answered the prayer concerns I placed in envelopes of faith. You take such good care of me. Truly, you do guard your own.
Peace is such a wonderful gift. Your peace, that is; the peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for this wonderful gift.
I give you another concern of my heart, that of the room for our trip to our friends wedding. I suspect my friend has inadvertently canceled our room. So, I give it to you. I know you will see that we have a place to stay. Thank you!
***********************
Yesterday, I was in the community where my father-in-law is buried. I often am there and I have been visiting his grave and placing flowers on it.
Before I went yesterday, I made up a couple of flower arrangements (two of my husbands siblings are also buried there). When I got to his burial site, I was filled with "un peace" because the previous arrangements had been removed.
This was such a silly reaction on my part because I had thought that I would remove the old arrangements when I got there anyway.
But, I felt insulted for some silly reason. I didn't understand it, but today I have received a glimmer of insight.
Perhaps the reaction I felt is how my still living mother in law feels when she visits the grave and sees that someone other than her has been caring for the graves?
I wonder if she views it as an encroachment of her "turf?"
I intended it to be an act of love and was very distraught that I had such a bad reaction.
Please exchange any ill will or hard feelings on either of our parts for love. Your love and peace. I place that in an envelope of faith as well and turn it over to you. I know you will handle it in the best way possible.
Thank you for the insight and please don't let me hurt my beautiful mother I  law.

Beginning the Journey

"Let what you heard from the beginning remain in you. If what you heard from the beginning remains in you, then you will remain in the Son and in the Father." ~ 1 John 2:24

When I received St. Raphael as my patron saint for the year and after researching him a little, I thought, "Oh! We're going to be traveling more this year. "
Then I had that "Ah ha!" moment when I realized that while we may indeed be going to travel more, the primary reason St. Raphael is here is to travel with me spiritually as I journey ever closer to You, my Lord.

I also thought it might be because I have for so long wanted to be an instrument of Your healing love and grace and power for others.
Perhaps St. Raphael is here to also heal me? So that I might heal others?
To teach me discipline and knowledge and to share his love for You and his wit and humor.

St Raphael as my patron saint for the year is Your gift to me.
Thank you so much!

Oh, I love you my child! Truly, I do. When you do recognize me in the gifts I offer, you are like a sweet child, awed by the goodness of the gift--even if you sometimes don't know its full use or importance in your life.
Yes, this is the year when you will make significant progress on your spiritual journey with St. Raphael and your guardián angel as your guides and teachers.

Bless J.T. this year, too, my Lord and my God. Help me to be the friend she needs at this time in her life.

Jesus, I love you. God, the Father, I love you. God, the Holy Spirit, I love you. Blessed Mother, I love you. All the angels and saints, I love you.
Thank you for being my friends.

A New Beginning

Each new day brings a new beginning to a believer in Jesus Christ.
And each new calendar year brings with it new promise and hope.
My prayers this year are that I can draw ever nearer to my God as we journey through this life.
I have been selected by St. Raphael the archangel as my partner through this year.
I am excited because one of my prayers has been to be an instrument of God's healing love. With the guidance and help of St. Raphael, perhaps that prayer has been answered.
So, thank you, Lord, for giving me into the safekeeping of St. Raphael this year. And thank you, St. Raphael for choosing to travel with me this year. May we be blessed with the guidance of the Holy Spirit as we seek out those who are in need of God's healing grace and love.
Other goals are to get some exercise each day and to also work on becoming more organized. Similar goals that I have had in previous years and days.
So, let's pray that with the help of St. Raphael and St. Frances of Rome that I will become the person God wants me to be.