Self Righteousness

It's been awhile since I have come to this spot to write and I am glad to be back once more. Lately, I seem to be a very harsh judge of practically everyone. My priest, my bishop, my friend and my mother-in-law.
I seem to be having conflicts with all of these people. It's the little things and to myself when I am pondering these things in my heart, I feel wonder if I am being self righteous and judgmental for no good purpose.
I offer my thoughts and impulses to you, my Lord and King. Please help me to discern my true motives and guide me in my future actions with these people.
I wrote the bishop asking that we get a new priest and he wrote me back a smack down letter. I got angry with my mother-in-law for always excluding her daughters-in-law and sons-in-law from family photos...only her children are allowed. I am also angry with her because she totally dissed my Christmas gift to her.
I am distressed with my friend for things she has always been...an alcoholic and a smoker and with her husband for being such a ninny about things while we together on our trip to Mexico.
So, how many of these things are important and how many of these things should I just let go and get on with correcting all the things wrong with myself? ALL of them, I know.
Yet, I stew on them and worry them like a dog worries a bone. I know the fault lies within myself and yet I continually seek to blame others for their failings (of living up to my expectations). The bishop, in his response to me, told me I was seeking a priest, "according to my own specifications." All I really asked for was someone else. We have run our course with the current one and I think we would all be better served if he was assigned someplace else, so I told the Bishop so. And then he told me to be glad I have a priest, any priest and if he moves the current pastor, he may not have anyone else to assign here. So, I guess I probably was specifying someone else. I truly am grateful for the priests you have given to us and for all the gifts they pass on to us from you, my Lord and my King. Help me to be more grateful even when I have a tough time getting along with whomever is assigned here. Help me to keep the faith and to overcome the things in myself that make me want to specify who is placed here.
Help me to love my mother-in-law for the person she is and to be thankful for the children she has raised and one of whom I love.
And help me to love my friend and her husband enough to survive our trip and its aftermath. I don't know what tripped my friend's crank, but by the time we returned to the states, he was a regular grouch and quite nasty. I don't know what we did to him, but I think we were all glad it was over.
Forgive me, my lord and my God for the selfishness displayed by me and help me to focus more on you and on loving these people as you love them.

My little one--
I love you so very much. Do you know how very much you mean to me? You mean the whole world to me and I love you and lived and died for you, so that you might join me in heaven. You are learning lessons here and try to be thankful for all of them. When you find yourself in a conflicting situation with someone, just try to give me thanks for that person and that they have come into your life for whatever the reason is....you may not know it, but I will. And once you have given thanks for them, try to find something about them which pleases you and in that way you can overcome your conflicting emotions. Do not worry, just keep at it and soon the reason for their presence in your life will be very clear.
Also, do not worry about the bishop and the priest. I know you thought you were doing my will in this matter and because I love you, I will identify myself with the letters and the outcome. Do not fear. You told the Bishop you trusted me, so do so and quit worrying about this. I will handle it and you remember to give thanks and praise for whatever the outcome is.
So, even though your concerns lately have been selfish, I know you are learning lessons that can be learned in no other way. Do not fear. Keep up with the schedule as I have outlined it to you and we will move forward.
My sweet child, I love you so much and want so much for you to manifest all the gifts I have given you and that you have not yet discovered. They are here....in the garden of your soul and I am the Master Gardener. Keep searching and you will find such treasures. You are precious to me. Believe that and act on it. Go in peace. I love you.

The Angelic Being

I had the most difficult time sleeping last night. During the restless time when I was partly asleep and partly awake, I saw a beautiful white being, brilliant white and she was pouring grace into the heart of my bishop. It was a nourishment that he slowly drank in, until his whole being was filled with the grace of God, from whom the angel got the decanter of grace being poured out.
It was a vivid dream and when I tried to focus it, by trying to re-direct my thoughts so that the angel poured grace also into my pastor, it didn't seem as bright nor as real. The angel was very real in the vision I beheld. It was beautiful.
Then at some point, a fiery ball hurtled toward earth, specifically the bishop and filled him with the Holy Spirit. It very much resembled a meteor but I thought of it immediately as an outpouring of the Holy Spirit which then lit the world with the love of God.
Lord, I don't know if I was merely dreaming or if you have granted to me visions of something more important. If I need to know more, I am confident you will enlighten me as I need it.
Thank you for your many blessings. Help me to love you more and to be more obedient to your wishes and will. I love you.

My little one--
I love you as well. You are starting to listen to the voice of my Spirit in and through all things. It is a marvelous gift and I willingly share it with you. You will learn how to interpret this dream and what I wish you to do with it. For now be content that you are aware of it and know I love you and guide you in all things. Do not fear the outcome of your letter to the bishop in regards to your pastor. I know you trust me in this as in all things. Continue to pray for your bishop and for your priest. All is well. I love you. Go in peace

Starting Over

Good Morning my Lord and my friend--
Thank you so much for all the blessings you continually pour out upon me. Help me to discern your will more completely as I seek to live my life for you on a regular basis.
I have been on vacation in Mexico...the photo is a view from our cabana on the beach at Punte Allen, Quantana Roo, Mexico. We journeyed there with my lifelong friend, Karen and we had a great trip. Mike and Cy went fishing and Karen and I explored the peninsula and rested in the sun. It was a wonderful time for me. It was spiritually nourishing and I hope I imparted to Karen my love and devotion to you.
It was also a way to separate the old life from the new life. The day we left on vacation was the last day at a job I have held for 16 years. When we returned from vacation, I began my career as a business person, working with Mike in the business he began years ago. Up until now, I have worked for someone else, giving support to the business through the wages and benefits I earned outside of our business. Now, however, I have been inspired to take a leap of faith and work with Mike and for you, dear Lord.
I don't know how to describe it to you, but of course, you probably already know that I was unhappy in my job and felt I needed to change directions. I am much happier now and hope that I have the time to do what I feel you are calling me to do. That is write and evangelize through my written words. I hope that you will lead me in this endeavor and that it truly is your will for me. And to also work in my home and garden, making it a place where you can come and rest and be my guest. I know I need to do much to make it suitable for you and I pray that you will bless my efforts.
I offer my thoughts and prayers for EJ and for Lila, both of whom have been in my thoughts lately. I also offer to you my letter to the Bishop regarding Father Karl. I am content to let the matter rest in your hands, however, I did feel it was necessary to write. If I should not have done so, I pray that you can do damage control for everyone concerned.
I love you, my Lord and my friend. Help me to accomplish what you would have me accomplish. Help me to be more humble and more spiritual. In reading of the wonderful mystics who have loved you in the past, I pray for myself that I might have just a touch of the devotion that enabled them to accomplish great things in your name. I would so like to be a mystic for you, but in reading of their lives, know how very much I need to learn before I could ever be one. My faults and failings are so numerous. Nonetheless, I hope to be a saint and a mystic to boot, so that is my desire. If it be your will.
Thank you again for all your blessings. Help me to do what you are calling me to do this day and guide me in all my efforts.

Hello, my sweet child,
I am so delighted that you have once again begun writing. Your love of me and for me is a great delight to my heart. I see your desire to do good and I know of your love for me. I also know of your failings and faults, yet I say to you, All is well. You are mine and I am leading you and guiding you in all your efforts and endeavors. Be at peace and know I uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. You do indeed have much to learn and do, but the good news is that you have eternity to do it in. Think of it...you are now living in eternity and living with me in the home and garden of your soul. That is where the work needs to be done and it is where you will accomplish your deeds. Remember that always. The work is done in the heart and soul and that is where you will need to direct your efforts. Be at peace and know I help you and guide you in these efforts.
Know also that you are making many friends in the spirit world by your study of the saints. They are coming to love you as you seek to do my will. Learn all you can from these beloved friends of mine. Never fear. I am your God and your King. Living with me insures that all you do is inspired by me. You do have the gifts of the Holy Spirit. You are being led to develop those gifts for the benefit of many. Do not fear. When the time is right, those gifts and the fruits of those gifts will be made manifest. Until then, do your daily duty as you feel I am calling you to do.
One word more about Lila. I know your heart is troubled by the relationship you have with her and your feeling of not being loved. I say to you, continue to pray for her and for the repose of the soul of George. It is in this way that you will help her the most. Do not fear to voice your love of me and my desire to have them share in the love of all my children. Continue to pray for George's soul and that Lila may enter into the Kingdom before her passing. And do not repeat to anyone your hurt. Share that only with me and I will console you with my love and the love of my mother for you.
I have given you the inspiration to do your daily readings and this writing at night time, before retiring. It is a practice that will enable you to go to work in the busy season with a light heart and also with my blessings for your day. Of course, you need to begin the day with prayer but do most of your spiritual readings at night so that you can be up and out of here in a timely fashion.
Go in peace my child and know that your prayers are being answered in a most wonderful way. I love you.