Endings and New Beginnings

Hello my Lord and King,

Thank you so much for the blessings of this past year and thank you in advance for the blessings of the coming year. I hope I can live up to your expectations of me but when I don't I pray that your gifts of mercy and forgiveness will always be minou e.

I look forward to this new year, Lord and all of the exciting adventures you have in store for us. I pray that you will always be with me as we share in the exciting work of bringing about your Kingdom on Earth. I know I have much still to learn and do in regards to being your faithful and obedient servant. I pray that you will strengthen me with what I need to accomplish these goals.

Thank you for my family and pour your blessings out on them, protecting them from all evil. Be with my husband and me as we journey along the way chosen just for us. Thank you.

My beloved child--

Thank you for spending a portion of each day in communion with me. Strive to spend more and more of each day with me until all you do and think and say is in, with and through me. Then will your heart soar with joy at what you are able to do in my name. I love you and bless you. Go in peace and know that I am with you always. Count on it. I will never fail you.

The Presentation

Even though I have missed the past few nights, I guess I must now present this to you as I will be unable to do more. Thank you for the gift of your most precious and beautiful Son so that I might be saved and forgiven.
Please take this poor offering that I have given you and bless it to make it a holy offering. Please forgive me for the hurts and pains I have suffered in the name of my own vanity and exchange those things for your grace and forgiveness. Please help me to heal the woundedness of my heart over the disappointments suffered by me when family and friends wound me in the depths of my heart and please forgive me the rages I spew when my husband succumbs to his disease and drinks himself stupid.
This is the poor and pathetic offering of my heart and soul to you and I am so sorry that I have nothing better to offer to the King, the Babe.

Sweet child--
Thank you for your gift. It is precious to me, in spite of how you view it. I cherish the freely given gifts of my beloved ones. I love you. Know this and rejoice and do not despair over the poverty of your offering.

The Freedom of Confession

Oh, how I thank and praise you, my God and King for all the wonderful gifts you have given to me and to my family and my country. We are so generously blessed in many ways. You have given so much to us and I only pray that by our actions and words we may honor you, the King of the Universe.

Thank you for the gift of confession in which our hearts and souls may be purged from the things which so often block us from you and tarnish the beauty of grace and joy which you long to present to us.

I am thrilled by the relief that confession brings to my wounded heart. All of the wounds I have been experiencing these past times, I feel are now out in the open and healing has begun. Thank you, my God and my King for your forgiveness and mercy. Help me to do as asked during this most wonderful sacrament and continue the healing of heart and soul.

I love you, my God and Savior. Help me to love you even more and to do what you want me to do in all things. Help me to also do it joyfully.

Dear Child--

You are sweet and wonderful to me, a gift from the Father to my heart which is often wounded by the rejection of those who claim to love me. I cherish those of you who long to do my will and who rejoice in all the gifts given to them. Never think you are not doing my will when you have been so steadfastly praying and striving to listen to the still small voice. It is then that I communicate to you my will. I see the striving and forgive the failures. So also must you see the striving of those near and dear to you and forgive the hurts they cause you. I know how much you have been wounded by those you love. Do not fear and do not despair. I truly have a wondrous plan for you and only as you obey my will for you will you see it manifested in your life. This plan is much to be desired and when I command you to do something, you must do it so as not to miss the opportunity of working my will. You will delight in the outcome of such instant obedience. Be at peace, dear one. I love you.

St. John of Matha

Frost is so incredibly beautiful, even if looking at it you cannot tell how cold it must be to make these frozen crystals into something wondrous.

Thank you, my beloved friend and Lord for all the blessings of this day. Help me tomorrow to do better at the things that please you.

Help me my Lord to find a way to connect with my friend again. She is the most wonderful person and she still makes the attempts to be my friend, but she is moving away from me as she seeks companionship elsewhere. She and her husband will be leaving for a couple of months and during that time, I will essentially be friendless because she is my best friend here. She hurts me sometimes, even though I know she doesn't mean it, when she tells me of her social life and it is exclusive of me.

I don't know why I am not invited to attend some of the evenings out with the girls but I am not. For awhile, I didn't want to go & perhaps that is all that is happening here...she is trying to respect my decision. On the other hand, I suspect there is one of the ladies who doesn't want me there and I guess that is something I have to live with even though it wounds me in my heart that my friend allows this other person to so discriminate against me. I have done the same myself, though and possible worse, so I will not ever challenge her on it and I ask that you will heal my woundedness that I might forgive as you forgive and love as you love.

Thank you for allowing me the grace to do as I think you are asking me. Bless me with clearer sight that I might see and recognize the grace you are pouring into my life every minute of every day. Bless me also that I might continue to grow in your love, reflecting you to each person with whom I come in contact.

My friend--

Know that I will always be with you in times of loneliness and when you seem to be all alone, remember all the angels and saints who are also your friends during this time. They are here and love you with the love I have given them that we may all be one. You are not alone or unfriended. You are indeed making new friends among the angels and saints and while that may not seem to be the same as having a friend on earth, know that it is indeed wonderful and powerful. My angels and saints have much power to help you recognize your own power---granted and given by me to do the will of the Holy Trinity.

Today is the feast day of St. John of Matha and it was he who founded the Trinitarians, an order devoted to the Holy Trinity. Thank him for this offering and discover more about the Trinitarians. This I ask of you. Now go in peace, my sweet child. You are being much blessed by your continual prayers. I love you.

Crisp and Cold Winter Days

What wondrous things happen when you are present, my dear Friend and King. You are the most awesome God and I thank you and praise you for all you have done for me. Help me to know you and love you more and more.

I am continually inspired by the fantastic landscapes you provide me with. I hope to be able to improve my photo taking abilities to do justice to the incredible views you give me.

Driving home this evening, I glanced out the window and the starry sky was so crisp and clear. It reminded me of the carol, "It came upon a Midnight Clear." Although the picture here looks like clouds covering the mountain, it is actually snow blowing from the heights and it is incredibly beautiful.

When my daughter and her family were here yesterday, I thought to ask them to participate in the Companion Saints but didn't get around to it, so asking for the Holy Spirit's guidance, I drew the names of the Saints who have chosen them to be companions for the upcoming year. I hope to give them to the kids as a gift of the Christmas season. I pray they will be touched by the idea and pray also that they use the opportunity to learn more of the saints and how they are there to help us. Thank you for each of them and I ask that the kids hearts will be prepared to receive the Good News of your coming. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share this special gift from you with them. Of course the saints are gifts from you and they help us to know and love you more and more. It is a fantastic system, really.

I was listening to the CDs from the Mary Foundation about confession. I must prepare my heart for your coming as well and it was a good opportunity for me to examine my conscience. I need you to heal my woundedness as I make my confession, so please help me to make an honest and complete confession in preparation for your coming.

Thank you Lord for all your blessings. Help me to share them with those most in need.

My child--

How I love you. I have loved you from the beginning of all time and will love you throughout all eternity. I am head over heels in love with you and you delight me in wanting to know and love me more and more. I truly have great need of you and your gifts and please know that I am working out my plans for you. I want my plans to come to fruition more than you can know or anticipate and you will be so delighted and joyous, it makes my heart sing to think of how I will delight you. You have much to do this week in preparation for my coming and I will be with you throughout it all, so have no thought of stress or anxiety. I want you to feel the peace and love of the season and not the hectic rush that so often accompanies the secular preparations for Christmas. Go always in my peace and love and we will accomplish mighty things.

Lord, thank you for your infinite care of me. I love you and worship you and give you thanks and praise. Help me to always give glory to you and to reflect you in all I say and do that I might be a light to all who are seeking to know you.

Counting my Blessings

Thank you Lord, for your many blessings of this day, especially the blessing of my beautiful daughter and her family. I love them so much and thank you for the light they shine in my life.
Forgive me for not making the effort last night to write anything. I apologize to you for my failure to overcome my tiredness....much as the apostles must have felt during your agony in the Garden. I simply could not keep myself awake long enough to write anything. Or at least I made excuses and went to bed.
Lord, please bless my son this day as he tries to complete his journey homeward after having a vehicle breakdown. Please smooth the path for him as he and his wife head home to their children.
Bless my other son and his wife as they fight for their country in the armed services. You take very good care of me, Lord. Please bless my family as well and guide them to you.

Losing Peace

Well, tonight I really lost it, Lord, and spewed forth such a load of anger and profanity about nothing. I lost my peace and I couldn't help but rage angrily about the dogs and the fryer accident and I just really unloaded a ton of garbage into the air as I screamed and cursed and really let it out. I am so sorry for the ugliness I allowed to destroy the peace I have been feeling lately. Forgive me for letting these minor things bother me so much.


I am so saddened by my behavior and apologize to you for it. Even though I was raging about the incidents, I was really angry about my husband's drinking. I don't know why he allows himself to be so stupid and get so drunk every day. He did so good for so long and I get so truly angry with him when he is drunk. It was because of alcohol that both incidents happened and I wanted to scream and punch him for being so drunk and so stupid. Forgive me for that and grant me the grace to love him enough to do whatever your will for him is. I know you don't want him addicted to alcohol. Please help me to help him, Lord, whatever it takes.

On to brighter subjects. I so enjoyed the Our Lady of Guadalupe festivities last night. It was an eye opener to attend Mass that was primarily celebrated in a foreign language. I have always had the privilege of having it celebrated in the language I can understand. I did attend Mass several times in my childhood, before my conversion, and those Masses were in Latin, but once I was baptized, I have always attended English Masses. I know there is quite a furor among American churches to have it in Latin and the Holy Father has clarified the church's position on it, opening the way for Mass to be celebrated in Latin more often. While I could enjoy sometimes a Mass in Latin, I mostly feel and think that I participate more fully when I can understand the words being spoken. Some people are so adamant about this, Lord and the strength of their fervor about it stuns me. I don't know if I am missing out on something by not wanting the celebration to be held in Latin. How can this be such a stumbling block for peeople?Is it not worship whatever language it is celebrated in? And the same for music. Some of the things I have read are criticisms of music being sung and instruments used, etc. I have always thought that singing is worship and if that is the intent--to offer thanks and praise to you, it doesn't matter what the instrument or what songs are being sung. Am I wrong about these things, Lord?
What does Our Lady of Guadalupe think of this? The music by the Mariachi band was certainly festive and I know it must have gladdened her heart as we prepare more thoroughly for the coming of Jesus. Does the type of music really matter or the language?

My beloved one-
I am sorry that you allowed little things to so disturb your peace and that you got so angry about them. I know the cause of your anger is directed toward your husband's weakness and I hurt for you. Yet I say to you, judge not. You have your own sins and faults. Work on yourself before you try to change anyone else. Usually you will find that when you focus on eliminating the things in you that you need to fix, you will be less inclined to be disturbed by another's weaknesses and failings. I hear your anguish and know that I will do all in my power to help but also remember free will and know that nagging and berating someone for a character flaw or physical addiction is not going to help that person. Do not judge and do no harm. Pray about it and know that I will do the very best for the both of you. Keep on praying for him and rest in my love when you are tempted to violence in this matter. It is something you need to work on and once you have overcome the tendency to judge and scold, you will have power to effect change.
Worship is from the heart and that is the language I hear--the heart's song and words. If your intent is to worship me, then regardless of the language or the music, it will be worship. I am the author of all language and so do not let these matters deter you from the worship of me deep within your heart. As for music, I love the sound of my people lifting up their hearts and voices to me in prayer, praise and song. Remember that worship should be respectful and that God should be the center and then forget any other controversies. If it comes from the heart it is genuine worship and that is what I long for more than anything else. The formality of religious expressions must have heart or it is empty and meaningless, yet structure is also required. Continue to speak with me in your heart and rejoice that I am there, deep within your heart and soul and living in the hearthome of love we have created in you. It is there that you need to look when things get tough and you lose your peace. It is there that the songs of worship must spring forth from...as naturally as light from a candle. Do not get caught up in these bickering contests about which song I like better.
My child I love you and forgive you your anger of this night. Continue to seek to be more obedient and loving and I will bless your efforts. Know that I am with you in all things and will not abandon you. You are precious to me and I cherish you. Go in peace and love.

Visions and Dreams

I have been having the most interesting image flash through my mind. I am flying and a person is attached to me....dragging me down. I release this person and watch as he falls while I continue on with my flight, unhindered by the additional burden.
I am puzzled by it, of course and wish to know what it means. Does it mean exactly what it seems to mean and I actually do let a person fall to their apparent death so that I might soar higher? Or does it mean that I have been kept from soaring higher because I was trying to bear too much weight and now that I have released the burden of this person, I can go on to achieve what my heart desires? Or a combination of both? On one hand, I am bothered that I feel so little compassion for the person falling from a distance above the earth and on the other hand I feel relieved that I no longer bear a burden too heavy for me and can now go on to where I feel called to go. And one more thing to think about is that I really don't know what happens to the burden once I release it as it falls below the cloud cover and I can no longer see. So, it is entirely possible that the person sprouts wings and begins to fly himself, no longer hindered by my packing him around when he should be flying himself anyway.
Anyway, it was vivid and came to me twice, so I think it must be you telling me something in a visual way. I just hope I get the interpretation of it correct in what I feel compelled to do now.

On other fronts, I'm sure that I will be the big baddie at work tomorrow when the gang all gets together to discuss the happenings of the day. I guess it is part of the plan to sever ties that bind and that fits with the vision as well. Severing the ties that bind us to burdens we are no longer capable of bearing now seems a good way to describe the vision, for that is what it appears to be.
I guess I will just be as happy and joyful as I can be while trying to do your will, Lord. Thank you for the trials this day and for the help you are giving me to overcome my faults and failings. I ask that you do not cause the people with whom I work to suffer needlessly because of them and I ask you to bless them with whatever they need to understand me and deal with the change taking place.

Hello my dear one,
You seem to have much more energy tonight and I am thankful that you thought again to speak with me in this manner. Yes, the vision is from me and I want you to know that I do have things planned for you that will require you to let go of things you have previously valued and cherished. You needn't bear the burden any longer and you needn't fear the outcome of this letting go. Continue to strive daily to do my will and to love each of those with whom you come in contact. Pray for them as you feel necessary and do not let little outcomes like today disturb your peace. Stop immediately when you feel the pressure and pray for those who are stressing you. You have done this in the past with people who disturb your peace and I want you to resume the practice. It bears as much fruit for you as it does for them, so do not fear to be generous in this regard. Trust me in this. Know I do have plans for you and I am working to bring them to fruition as soon as possible. Until then, you must continue to prepare as the task ahead will be daunting and challenging but very rewarding.
Go now and rest and I will bless your sleep with sweet dreams. I love you, precious child.

Disappointing my Friend

Thank you Lord, for the blessings of this day. Thank you for shielding me from hurt when I discovered something about the son of a friend and how that knowledge pertained to me.

Forgive me for trying to excuse myself from the committment I made in my heart to do this for you as a gift. I had thought to excuse myself because I have been so tired lately and was just going to go to bed without writing a little something to you today. But you kept after me until I got up and I am delighted that you did.

I don't know what you have done in regards to the matter that has so plagued my thoughts lately but I do know that you have done something because of the lightheartedness I feel in my heart. Whatever else you have done, you have also lifted the burden of it from me and I give you thanks and praise. I am so sorry that I was only thinking of myself--especially after you have done this deed for me. Forgive me, my friend. I apologize to you for not keeping to my schedule. I will strive to do better.

Do not fear, Little one, I am with you still. You listen to me in the depths of your heart and that is such a gift to me that you cannot know. I was disappointed that you sought to go to bed without our nightly conversation, but I am happy that you have risen to spend this time with me before retiring. You are in training and will benefit much from this time spent with me. Go now and rest. Our day today begins early. Thank you for being my friend.

Deepening Winter

Thank you so very much for the snow, Lord. From it and the stores that accumulate during the cold winter months, we get the life giving water that nourishes our beautiful little valley and feeds the river.

How I long to know you better, my Lord and my King and to do your will in all things. I long to do great things for you, actually and do hope you have a plan for the rest of my life.

I am at the point where I look for a change and hope that we can journey together into a different aspect of the world where you have allowed me to live.

Thank you for my family and the people I number as friends. They are precious to me. Thank you for the faith community you have blessed us with. Mostly, thank you for Jesus and Mary and the Holy Spirit and the angels and saints and Pope Benedict XVI and also for Pope John Paul II.

Watching the movie of JPII's life last night with my beautiful friend and prayer partner, I was struck by how much he accomplished in his life. All because he was obedient to you and did as you commanded him. Teach me obedience, Lord, immediate and total obedience to your will in all things.

Thank you also for the people who vex me and with whom I struggle to be charitable and kind. I know you have allowed them to be a part of my life as well and I thank you for that. Please pour out the graces I need to deal with them as you will.

Thank you for the dogs who are pets to me and help me to be a better master to them. They are such wonderful and devoted friends and I thank you for them.

Ah, my Lord. Thank you for all the blessing you have bestowed on me. Help me, now, to pass those blessings along to others, willingly and lovingly and generously as you are all those things with me. Forgive me for when I want to be stingy with blessing and all things. I do you no honor by being so selfish. Help me to be victorious again, Lord. I love you.

Good evening my sweet one--

Thank you for taking the time this evening to be with me and to share your thoughts and prayers of praise and thanksgiving. You are learning obedience and are also being trained for the work I have ahead of you. Do not fear, I will do what is best for you. Do you trust me in this? As you prepare your heart, soul and body for the upcoming challenges I have planned for you, give me thanks and praise for the outcome of this training. It will lead to your heart's desire and you will rejoice that you have listened to me and done as I commanded. My child, I know your struggles and your faults and failings. Do not fear. We are working on them and as you become more devoted to me and more obedient, these things that trouble you now will simply fade away.

Do not doubt that he who speaks to you is I, your Lord and King. You have surrendered your heart to me and I will care for it gently and greatly. It is an awesome gift and I thank you for it. I would not let something damage that, so do not fear but go in peace to love me and serve me. I am guiding you and will guide you in all things. I cherish you and you are special to me. Never think that I disount you for I do not. You will do great things for me, my child. You are blessed in my sight and I will never forsake you.

The Light of the World

Winter is upon us in full force and it is always a comfort during these dark and shortened days to remember that the Light of the world is coming soon.
Thank you, Almighty Father, for the love of your son and for all the blessings you have poured out upon this world. Forgive us for the sins we have committed against this most wonderful and gracious love and inspire us to do better and to recognize you when you are among us.
The daily readings showed that you can give sight to the blind. Make me see, Lord, your goodness and love in my life and all that I have to be thankful for. Make me see what I can do to help spread you love into the unlovely places of the world and grant me the graces I will need to get it done. I know I have been so blinded by my own selfish wants and desires that I so often overlook your presence right before me. Forgive me for that and help me never to look past you again.

I have had inklings about the new direction you are taking me and I hope to be prepared for it but I am not sure if it is your will or once again, my own will, and so I pray that I might always know and do your will. Help me to do what it is you need of me and not to fear or doubt. I love you.

Precious Child-
How I love you. You have always been precious and beautiful to me, even when you have spoiled the goodness of your soul by ugliness. Do not fret about anything for I am your God and I am King of the Universe. As the Psalmist has said, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom should I fear?" You need not fear anything, my sweet one. I have all planned for you and as long as you are obedient to the commands of your heart that I place in our home of love, you will be doing my will. Do not doubt that I am with you, guiding and guarding you and leading you to where I would have you. Be at peace and rejoice for your salvation draws nigh.

My Daily Duty

I guess I can start while the picture is downloading. I had a pretty good day today as I went through my day. I love starting the day off reading of You and your friends--the angels and saints and all the people who have been eternally remembered in the Bible.

When I go to work, my day becomes more focused on the people I serve and the people I work with. I am finding that it is easier to deal with all of them when I first spend time with you, even though I arrive at work later than the others. I used to resent the fact that co-workers hang out together chatting before I get there. Then I realized that I hang out and chat with You and your friends and it pleases me to be able to do that. I love coming before You in the Tabernacle, allowing you to flood me with your light and love while I prepare for the world. I do feel the need to prepare for it, though and I wonder how I am doing from your point of view.

As I was once again resenting the fact that I am not invited to the birthday party, I realized that my anger and resentment were things I am picking up from the one planning the party. It is that person who is sending me resentful and angry thoughts and feelings. I suspect I am picking up on it because you want me to pray for this person. I resisted at first, afraid that my prayers will be answered and you will bless this person more than you bless me. I am sorry for this selfish attitude. Help me to overcome it and to desire your fullest blessing poured out on these people. Forgive me for this selfishness.

But could you please also bless me with something here? I have so wanted to be recognized for what you have done in answer to my prayers. Forgive me for that as well. I realize I should be telling the stories of how you have answered my prayers and shouting it from the rooftops. I wish I was more of a shouter sometimes. I prefer to write most all the time, though. I guess it doesn't have the same impact as being an effective speaker.

Anyway, once I realized that my resentments were coming from outside, it was easy for me to ask that your love be reflected back upon the sender of these ill thoughts. I won't go into why there are ill thoughts and feelings, because I am sure that fault and failings with me can be found there as well.

One of the things I did do today was to a little research on St. Rose of Lima who chose me to be a companion this upcoming year. At an early age she began fasting and also doing severe penance for her vanities. Perhaps that is something you are telling me I need to be concerned about--my vanities. When people spoke of her beauty, she scarred herself and cut off her hair so as not to be complimented on these things. Forgive me my vanity and teach me how to be more like St. Rose of Lima as I go through the year and as I strive to change my physical appearance.

I don't think I can ever be as sacrificing as she...but you never know. All things are possible with my Lord and God. I guess if that is what you are asking of me, we really have a lot of work to do.

Is there anything you would speak to my heart this night, Lord? I long to hear your voice.

Oh my sweet one--

Blessed child that you are. I love to hear from you and love to see the growth in your soul. It is the beauty of St. Rose's soul that is important to me. As she felt the need to do severe penances, her soul became cleansed of those things marring it and making it unclean. Your own soul is

being cleansed. Each of my children and disciples is different, requiring different disciplines.

Do not fret. You are being led and guided into the path chosen for you. The Saints who chose you as companion have much to show you and teach you...and they just want to get to know you as you are getting to know them. Be not afraid of where they take you or what they have to teach you. They know your future and are doing my will in preparing you for it. You have asked for friends and these are some of the friends who want to share your life in Me. You will have whatever you need when the time comes for you to know more of what the future holds.

Last night you agreed to come with me whereever the road takes us. Is that what you want tonight as well?

Oh yes, Lord. Of course I want to go with you, wherever the road may lead. I try not to doubt or fear, so please help me with those things.

I do help you and will help you. And I will give you a precious blessing in regards to the matter in your heart. You will recognize it and rejoice. Go in peace my sweet child. Do not fear. We love you and rejoice in your life. Sleep easy, my child.

Letting Go

Lord, I have been having such a difficult time getting logged on and getting my computer to do what I need it to. I uninstalled a number of programs and now I have to reinstall them but Oh my, I was having a very difficult time.

Today was an interesting one for me as I finally made the determination that regardless of what I do or don't do, certain people are always going to discount me. So, I am actually going to let go of whatever I was expecting and just enjoy the journey with you as you take me to where you want me to go, my Lord and King

Thank you so very much for allowing me to realize that I will never be what I want to be to some people in my life, so I might just as well quit trying and look at what you want me to accomplish. You are wonderful and mighty and I know you are with me always protecting me and guiding me and allowing me these perceptions. You do have something that you want me to do for you and it may bring me suffering and pain, but it will be suffering and pain for Your Glory, my Lord and I thank you for that.

Tonight with my parish ladies, we allowed your Saints to choose us as companions for the year. The Saints who chose me were St. Rose of Lima and St. Thomas More and of course, St. Andrew had chosen me when I first came upon the site.

So, I am looking forward to getting to know these Saints better, my Lord, and seeing where you want us to go.

Thank you for this day and for the protections you surround me with. I didnt' realize until this day that I am being attacked by those who would wish me ill because of things in the past. So, I ask for your guidance and protection and ask that you surround me with your Reflecting love that it might reflect back upon those who would wish me ill.

My sweet one-

You are indeed precious to me and I have been guiding you for so many years. I know it would have hurt you had you previously known the depth of some people's disregard for you, so I shielded you from it. Now that you are willing to let go, I can show you the truth of the matter and also how much I have loved and protected you throughout. So, are you ready to journey with me to new and unknown places? You will be with me always and I will guard and guide you where I need you and want you to be. It is an act of faith and may cause you some discomforting moments, but the end result will be so much more than you could ever realize where you now are. It will encompass many aspects of my Divine Life, including pain and suffering, so I want you to think about it and pray about it. Know that it will be a journey of love with me, however and I will never forsake you or discount you. I love you and want you to say yes.

Oh my Lord,

I do say yes to whatever you have in mind for me. I am not afraid and even though there may be times that I will be afraid, I am counting on you to guide me and guard me and get me through whatever you have in store for me. I am excited to begin the journey and pray that things will happen rapidly now that I have committed myself to you and Your Divine Love and Mercy. Thank you for loving me and caring for me.

Companion Saints

As I was reading the monthly message from Our Lady of Medjugorje recently, I happened across a bit by Sister Emmanuel about companion saints.

She asks that we download the list of Saints and then fold each piece of paper with the Saints name and prayer commission on it.

Tradition has it that the Saint you choose from the folded slips of paper has actually chosen you and you are to spend the year getting to know that Saint.

It really appealed to me, as you know, Lord in that the Saint who chose me is St. Andrew--your beloved first Apostle and brother to St. Peter. I am thrilled with the idea of getting to know a Saint better and have done as Sr. asked and prepared the slips of paper to share with my family of church ladies at our monthly meeting.

I pray that you will send you most Holy Spirit upon us that He may guide the hand of each person so that the Saint who has chosen them will be selected.

Thank you so very much for all your blessings. Please also bless the words I am writing that the Holy Spirit might pour forth His power into them for the benefit of those reading them.

I love you so much, sweet child. Know that you are victorious and I will bring about the desires of your heart. Know this and rejoice for I am with you. Do not fear but go in peace. My blessings upon you this day.

Dec. 2--Advent begins

Hello my Lord,
Today is the beginning of Advent, the season when most of the country is celebrating Christmas but when Catholics are preparing for Christmas.
According to Catholic tradition, the beginning of Advent is a time of penance and preparation for the coming of the King.
The Christmas season begins on Christmas and lasts until the Feast of the Epiphany, in January. I think the 12 days of Christmas actually begins on Christmas and then lasts until Epiphany. Somehow we have gotten away from that..due mostly to marketing for goods merchants want to sell before Christmas. I hope we can focus on you this year...I hope I can focus on you.
Anyway, I am excited to begin Advent preparations this year.
For many years I have agonized about what to get people who really don't care about me. I have worried and stressed about pleasing them. However, Lord, you have freed me from this desire.
My thoughts lately have been about moving in a totally different direction from where I am now. I have actually had those thoughts for quite some time, but recently I have begun to act on them, as I feel inspired by your Holy Spirit to focus on pleasing you.
I offer these new impulses to you, my God and my King, and hope I am not being selfish in my desires. I pray that you are actually you revealing your will to me. I have begged you for a change in my life and now that I have begun to act, I am confident and filled with trust that you will indeed bless my efforts at living out your will.
I am not sure what the new direction will bring and I have so much to get caught up on from years of neglect, but I hope you will guide me and inspire me to do what will be best for me and my family.
Thank you for all your blessings. I have so often tried to give you a gift of my talent and time, Lord and have so often failed. As I prepare for your coming this year, let my gift to you be perfected in your love, Lord and please fill me with the grace to complete the intents of my heart to be obedient to your will as well as to be gracious to those who hurt me.

Good evening my blessed child-
You are precious and beautiful to me and I am once again looking forward to the gift of your heart. Please know that I will bless and use this gift as I have used it previously. Do not fear but trust in me as you have in the past. Remember before when you wanted to accomplish something and trusted me to grant it to you as long as you were obedient to my will...do you remember how sweet the victory was? I have so much in store for you and I can scarcely brook the delay. I am overjoyed that you will be walking with me as you prepare for my coming. Do not fear...I am with you and protect and guide you.
Please open your heart to receive all the blessings I have in store for you.

Winter's Chill

The cold of winter is upon us and with it comes bonechilling wind that cuts right through a person, exposing vunerabilities.

Thank you, Lord for the cold and the chill and I praise you for them as well. The responsorial today is from the book of Daniel, as well as the first reading. But it is the responsorial that speaks of praising God for all things.

Today, too, I received an email telling me to be thankful for the thorns in my life. I feel as if I have been all of the above recently. That my very soul has been exposed to the chill of winter's wind and that I have had thorns for which I have not been thankful. But, then I read of people's troubles and know that I have not had a difficult time in comparison to theirs and wonder why I am such a griper latey? Where has the joy in my life gone? I used to be joyful and thankful for all things but have not felt joy for a long time, it seems.

Still, I do recognize that I have much to be thankful for...even the bonechilling winds of winter and I thank you and praise you, Lord for all your blessings.

Today's Saint is St. Saturnius of Toulouse, a bishop around 250 who was martyred when he refused to sacrifice to the pagan gods. The pagans then had him tied to a bull who drug him to his death. His name is of Latin origin and means "melancholy of character." Earlier today when I first read about St. Saturnius, I did not realize how much the meaning of his name fits my mood lately. So I also ask for him to intercede for me that I might not be melancholy.

My Sweet Child--

Give me tonight all the failures of this day and let me relieve you of that burden. You know that you have not done all I command of you and all that you have been striving to do, yet I say to you, do not fear. Start again tomorrow. As you go to your rest this night, let go of all that burdens you and allow my sweet peace to sink deep into your soul, warming the winter chill that lurks there.

You are precious and beautiful to me. Never doubt this, but you must do more of what I command you. You have told me I am your King. Then do my bidding. Yes, we are friends, too, but I also am your Lord and Master. I forgive you of your failure to obey me. When you have learnt obedience more perfectly, you will be ready for the next task I have in mind for you. But you must learn perfect obedience to be ready for it. Will you accept this command and do as your Lord and King commands?

My Lord--

Yes, I will try to do better at obeying instantly when you command. Help me to hear you better so that I might do your will immediately. Thank you for your forgiveness and strengthen me with your love, wisdom and courage to do all you desire of me. I am yours.

You delight me child. Go in peace for I am with you and love you.

St. Virgil of Salzburg

I am feeling such a wondrous sense of joy and for that I thank you My King. How wonderful you are to me.

I have been such a whiner lately and I am so sorry for that. Please forgive me and give me the grace to continue to pray for those with whom I find myself in conflict.

You are a wonderful and caring Lord and King and I owe my life and everything I have to you.

I thank you for all the many blessings you have poured out onto me. Help me to make the best of them.

Today's St. is St. Virgil of Salzburg--a Bishop there in the late 700's. He was an Irish immigrant to that area and was known for his help of the poor and also his educating of people. Thank you for giving us the angels and saints as friends for the journey.

As we head into this last week before Advent, Lord, what would you like me to give you? I have so stressed about gifts in the past and still do as you know by my current dilemma. But this Advent, I would like to focus more on you and what you would have me do?

Always in the past, I have failed to do what I felt you were calling me to do--just failed to do what I said I would and I beg your forgiveness for those failures. Please help me to honor my vow to do what I feel you want me, too.

What would you like as an Advent sacrifice this year, my Lord?

Hello my sweet child--

You are precious and lovely to me when you are joyous and thankful. I most of all want just that--a joyous and thankful heart and mind. You have been much blessed and I desire you to acknowledge those blessings. It so distresses me when you are unhappy and sad, even if you have cause to be. Try this year to find cause for thankfulness in every happening, no matter how painful or distressing it is to you. Immediately give me thanks and praise and see what happens. You will be delighted by the result of such a "sacrifice," if that is what it can be called. So often people want to hug their grievances close to their heart, nursing them and feeding them and keeping them alive. Thanks and praise for the difficult times is more of a cure than cuddling these painful moments in your heart and feeling sorry for yourself and anxious about things. So, that is the sacrifice I want from you this year, my child. Try to be thankful and praise me in all circumstances and events of your life. Rest in peace. Know that I love you and want the best for you.

Christ the King

Today during Mass, I had the most wonderful experience of Your love, Lord. As you know, I have recently been suffering from conflicts I am experiencing with co-workers.

This past week was awful for me as I struggled with hurts and disappointments.

Before Mass today I was again stressing over--get this--a slight I think is going to happen!!! Not something that has happened but something that I think is going to happen. How pathetic is that??

Anyway, I felt called to dress up to attend Mass today and I am so glad I did. When I got there I was asked to help by being a Eucharisitic Minister. Even though I try to stay focused on You, I sometimes let my mind wander and it again wandered to this supposed slight that may happen. Even though I have been a loyal and true friend I am not going to be invited (or so I assume) to a birthday party for someone I have always considered important in my life. I was fretting over this and also listening to the homily on Christ the King when You, my Lord and King, gently let me know that You had selected me for the honor of serving You on this feast . It was an awesome moment for me.

It took the sting out of the rejection I feel over this, Lord and I thank you for the honor. You are so wonderful to me and I am humbled by this, but overjoyed as well. I may very well end up being rejected by people I care about, but You have honored me with Your love and it is amazing. Thank you my God and King.

After Mass, I went for a hike and took these amazing photos of Your creation, Lord. It is stunningly beautiful and You have allowed me to live in this wonderful area and experience such beauty. Thank you, my Lord and God. You are so good to me. How can I repay You for all Your favors and goodness to me?

My beautiful child-

I barely whispered to you that you had been chosen for the honor and you heard me. You are listening to me and that pleases me.

As we walked this day, you knew I was with you. This is the portion of my Kingdom I have chosen for you. This is the part of my Kingdom where I want and need you to be.

Yes, I must sometimes allow my children to suffer and be rejected--as was I. You will suffer rejection when you are not invited to this party. Be not angry or bitter about it for you are beautiful. Anger and bitterness tarnish that which I so love about you, your kind and sweet heart. The heart you have told me is my throne in your life. Rejoice when you suffer rejection in this life for it marks you as one of my own. My beautiful child, let my peace and love soothe away the pain of rejection. Do not be afraid and leave the justice to me. Do you trust me in this as in all things? Trust and be not afraid for I am Your King and I love and cherish you. Believe that and rejoice!

Yes, Lord, I do trust you and I do believe that all things work for good to those who love the Lord. Help me to be more disciplined in my writing, Lord and thank you for the blessing of Sheetal.

Matters of Friendship

Lord--
I am so angry with my co-workers for a slight--whether real or imagined--that I cannot bear to look at either one of them.
For some time it has seemed that they whisper things that they don't want me to hear. I am not sure if these things being whispered are about me or not, but I have caught them several times and I know they have been talking about me.
Today's slight is nothing really, except that it just really made me angry. If they had spoken something about it, it would have been different, but they just assumed something that wasn't right and have hurt me very badly in the process.
The sad part of this is that one of them used to be a really good friend, but he has since allied himself with the other co-worker instead of me. I am not sure why but I am hurt and angered by this.
I don't know what to do about it. Please help me. I ask you to bless both of them and guide me in what you would like me to do.
I ask forgiveness for wanting you to strike them stupid or anything. Sorry. But I was just so angry at the time.
I love you. Please help me with this.

Sweet one--
Be not afraid of what they may say about you or do to you. Remember that nothing happens that is not in accord with my will for you. Anything they do to you is for your ultimate benefit, even if you may not see it at the time.
Please remember to ask me to exchange these hurt and angry feelings for ones of blessing and love to be poured out on those who hurt you. You are a child of God and must always act as I would. I will exchange your hurt and anger that they may be blessed. You are forgiven for wanting to smite them.
Be at peace.

Lord--

As you know, I wrote the above post last week, even though I did not get around to posting it here until tonight. My work habits need so much improvement and I ask for your help in making the necessary adjustments to my work ethics. Please help me to get on with what I hear you asking me every day--to write. I sometimes think that I have nothing to say and so don't want to post, but I need to get into the habit of writing every day to be considered a writer. I have found that by asking for blessings on those who hurt me and distress me that my attitude is better. I pray that I am doing the right thing. I also must now ask for you to help me with another person who is trying to hurt my husband and myself. I am not sure of the motive here but I do know she is doing everything she can to undermine his business. Please grant to me Lord whatever I need to counter her moves-wisdom, knowledge, courage and kindly spirit. Help me to act in this manner as you would.

My child--

You are doing as I would have you do. You must continue with the dieting and fasting as you asked of me, remember. The diet is for you and the fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays is for me. We will overcome and you will delight at the result. Also remember to bless your enemies for your friend has become your enemy. Ask me to bless her and I will act according to my will and it will not disappoint you. You have asked for means to counter her moves and I am delighted to give you what you ask for because it is not money. Her motives and desires have all been about money and so you shall win the battle and be victorious in this matter. Do you trust me? Trust me and thank me and praise me and you shall emerge victorious. Go in peace, my dear child. I love you

How quickly things change

How short life sometimes seems and how quickly it can all change. The sudden illness of a fellow parishoner this week has brought me to realize how very quickly we journey through this stage of our lives.

You would think that I would subsequently feel a strong desire to eliminate from my life the bad habits I have formed and focus more intensly on preparing for the next life, yet my life remains the same and I am stuck in the same old dreary habits that I so wish to escape.

I know that all I need to do is listen to that still small voice of the Lord telling me what to do and yet I find myself falling back into the same ugly habits.

I pray, dear Lord, for the fortitude and courage to change my life to something more acceptable to you, that I might truly do your will each day.

As I was praying this morning for my friend, I began by thinking it is indeed dire and that I must help prepare my friend's wife for his departure from this life, but then I was suddenly filled with a sense of wonder and hope as I realized that you have plans for this wonderful family.

I can't explain it other than to state most emphatically that I know you will cure him from this dreaded illness and that he will become a wonderful blessing to our parish and our community because of this healing.

Thank you so very much, Lord, for the miracle healing of my friend. Help me to know what to do now that I truly believe you will heal him.

Good Morning my sweet one--

Thank you for finally responding to my call and once again writing as I have asked you to do. I once again, though you have not asked, forgive you for the neglect of my commands. Please try to think of me not only as your friend, but also as your King and Lord. Although we are friends and I love our conversations as such, I also am your King and when I give a command to you, I expect it to be fulfilled.

You are right to think of last things and to begin preparing. You may not know the time or place when you will be called, but I want you to feel as if you have come to meet your Lord with lighted lamp and with oil to spare in case my coming is delayed. For so long now you have not realized that you may be called in the blink of an eye, or stricken as suddenly as your friend has been and then all the things you have been so busy planning will be left undone. I do not desire them to remain undone, but to be done that you might give Glory to your Lord and King. So go therefore into this day and make a card as you have felt called to do. Even though you have not completed the set up, the way still exists for you to do these tasks. So begin by selecting the pictures we wish to share...photos of our time spent together and I will guide you as to which ones to share with which people and also the words to use in each card.

My child, I love you mightily. Take this lesson to heart about the time being short with much work to be done. Know that I do have plans for your friend and his family and rest content that their lives are in my hands. Share this knowledge with them and rejoice for I am Lord and your friend.

Thank you my Lord and King. Thank you for the forgiveness of my failure to do your will. Help me to complete the tasks you have given me. I love you.

Coming Back

Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ. Have mercy on me for my failure to do your will. I love you so much and when I hear you asking me to write on my blog, I have been so negligent about responding to your call. Help me, Lord to hear and to obey.

You are the Lord of my life. All that happens to me is according to your will and you have blessed me mightily. Forgive me, once again, my God and King for failure to do your will. I will try to do a better job of responding to your call.

There is so much I would pray about, Lord. The world is such a frightening place these days. What can we do to help bring about your will?

Sweet One--

Know that I do love you and forgive you once again for not instantly obeying me when you hear my call. Realize that my call to write is as demanding a call as a call to go someplace or do something. The difference is that you can respond to this call by just sitting down and writing. I have plans for you and the sooner you begin to respond immediately when I ask you to write, the sooner I can use you and the talents I have given you.

Be not afraid. I am with you and leading you and always forgive you, even when you disappoint me and fail to listen to me. I do live in your heart. Know this and rejoice for we are indeed one.

Go in peace now, my sweet child and sleep for we have much to accomplish in the coming day.

Jesus,

I thank you and praise you and worship you from the very center of my being. I want to do your will and will strive to become better at listening to you and immediately taking action on whatever you ask of me.

Half way there--almost St. Patrick's day

Ah, my lord and friend. How can I thank you for sharing with me your strength and your love? You gave to me today everything I needed and my need was sore. You help me when I am down and give me such classy ways out of things.
My heart is singing for love of you and recognition that you are everything to me. All that has gone on today has happened because of you. I felt sorely beset, not by an enemy nor by a friend, but by someone I know. She and I have not agreed on several things and you advised me to treat her generoulsy and kindly and how great that has turned out. Who knew being a nice person could win me the benefit of your love?
I did. I knew it from previous encounters of a similar nature and it is such a joy to remember it again. It has been a long time since you have loved me this much.

Oh child--
I have always been there loving you and caring for you and guiding you. The lack of awareness of my love on your part does not mean that I have not been there each minute. The wondrous happenings of today happened because of your prayers, your tears, your devotion to me daily and your surrender to me to help you. My help is always there. You have not been availing yourself of it, sweet one.
You are precious to me. Joy in the moment. Do not fear to love. It is ok.

Coming Home--Lenten Thursday

Good Evening my Lord,
I felt you calling me tonight to ask my longtime prayer partner to come and pray with me. It has been months since we have met at your feet and prayed out our hearts to you. I know you are calling her home after a long and probably self-imposed exile.
I thank you for using me to invite her back into full Communion with us and pray that her path back to you will be how You will it, my Lord. I know you are the wisest and most loving guide she can have and I also believe that your Spirit is working to bring her back.
Thank you so much for your good ness and love.
Help me to continually shower it upon those most in need of it.

Ash Wednesday

Ah, we begin again. I once again will hope to give back to my Lord some of the time and talent He has granted to me as we journey together towards Easter and the Resurrection. I need to make this journey with an open heart and mind as to the outcome and destination, I guess. I have for too long been focused on things other than the Lord wills for me. I must now teach myself to listen to His ever gentle voice as we make our way through the trials of each day.
I am excited about this Lenten journey...as if I am a child going on a trip with my loved ones. I hope to prove up to the journey and the demands this season will make upon me.
The homily tonight was on fasting and the power of it when combined with prayer. I pray for the willpower to increase my ability to fast and to make my fasts more pure and more powerful.

As of now, it seems that we are off---into the desert or wilderness and full of much hope and expectation about the future. I hope to be able to spend more time writing and improving my skills and talents there. There is so much about blogging that I do not know and I hope that I can learn more there, too. All in all, even though this is a time of fast and preparation, I am looking forward to the adventure of journeying with the Lord.