God Waiting for Us

Snow covers the hills with a blanket of snow

"A voice says, "Cry out!"
I answer, "What shall I cry out?"
~Isaiah 40:6

The words from Isaiah today really made me stop and think. It is one of those Biblical readings that seems to be directed specifically at me.
So often it seems that when the Lord asks me to do something..."Cry out!" I am like the person in Isaiah who asks, "What shall I say?" Instead of being obedient, I have to query my Lord about the details. Maybe He just wants me to do something, anything.
As I have been pondering why I procrastinate so often about doing what I think God is calling me to do, I came across a meditation...and I am sorry that I did not remember to bookmark it so that I could link to it....that essentially said that while we make preparations and are waiting for the Lord's coming, He is also waiting for us to do His will.
It was an eye-opener for me because I hadn't thought that we must try God's patience with our endless pettiness and failures (procrastination??).
 He waits for us to show Him that we are making progress and improving the world where He has placed us. I have often thought that if I lived someplace else or had a better means, I could do so much more for my Lord. He knows me well. What He is saying to me is that it doesn't matter where I am or by what means I choose to do His will. What is important to Him is that I act, using the tools he has given me and saying whatever I am inspired to say by the indwelling Holy Spirit.
How often have I thought, especially in recent years, that God must surely be coming soon in order to save us from the increasing evil that seems to permeate our world. What I had not thought about, and what now gives me pause, is that perhaps He waits for me to do something in order that someone might be saved. Maybe in order that I might be saved.
It has certainly changed my perspective on why He hasn't already come to redeem this poor world. Maybe He is waiting for me to reach out to my neighbor or my friends and family and share with them the one thing that may turn them back to the Lord. Or for me to do the one charitable act that might be of great help to Him in redeeming the world. As I am waiting for Him to come into the world, or better phrased, as I wait to celebrate His Nativity and His coming among us to save us, He might be forestalling His Second Coming in order that my prayers for the salvation of  my family,  friends and acquaintances and even myself can be answered. He might be waiting for me to act, to do the one simple duty He has given me to do that I keep procrastinating about doing. Lord, have mercy on me and inspire me to do your will.

Waiting

The bird house hangs empty during the cold winter months

Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, Dec. 9, 2013

"Into her presence the angel came, and said, Hail, thou who art full of grace; the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women." ~ Luke 1:28

The time of waiting, once Mary had  made her Fiat! to the Angel Gabriel who had been sent to her to announce God's will, must have been one of joyful anticipation. How we can learn from her and strive to be more kind and more loving towards all with whom we come in contact. The time of Advent for me has become, instead of a joyful waiting time, one of procrastination. There is a huge difference between joyful waiting in anticipation and the procrastination I have let become a bad habit.
I put off doing so many things, including writing, that I then find myself harried and hurried to get done all the things I have obligated myself to and all of the things I need to be doing as part of my answer to Christ's call.

Dear Lord, please forgive me for all the times I have neglected your commands and your call to action and please grant to me the grace to live my life more fully and to become a more active participant in your will. A doer of your will, not a hearer only, as we heard in the recent Gospel reading. I do not wish to be one of those who will gnash their teeth in despair when they realize that they have been hearers only and not doers of your word and will.

Note: The Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception is celebrated on Dec. 8, except when that falls on a Sunday. It is then celebrated on the following Monday. This year, it was celebrated on Monday, Dec. 9, 2013.

Giving Small Gifts

In a commentary on today's readings, the author, Steve Givens,  says a friend once told him that he has nothing good enough to give to God.
Givens goes on to note that many people often feel the same way, that their gifts are insignificant and small and so they hesitate to offer them to the Lord.
Indeed,  that very sentiment is how I have often felt. I guess I have been unsure of what my gifts are and whether or not I am being called to use them for God.
That's why I have been trying to determine what my apostolate is. Question two is "what is my skill set?"
So, I have spent a lot of time looking for my apostolate in things that others are good at or get complimented on. My own gifts seem inadequate, so I have been trying to co-opt the skills or talents of others. That is one reason why it has seemed so difficult. ..because the talent or skills I am trying to use aren't my own.
Givens says the Gospel reading today also says it doesn't matter how small the gift. What matters is that you offer it to God and then pass on what He does with your offering, as in today's passing on of the loaves and fishes.
Thank you, Lord, for the gifts you have given me. Help me to use them according to Your will and for your glory.

Letter from La La Land

The open air World War II Memorial in Washington, DC

 "Wolf shall live at peace with lamb, leopard take its ease with kid; calf and lion and sheep in one dwelling-place, with a little child to herd them" ~ Isaiah 11:6 (Knox Translation Copyright © 2013 Westminster Diocese)

I received today an "annual letter" put out by one of my relatives at this time of the year.
Written following the best form of "Christmas Letters," she never refers to it as a Christmas letter because she either doesn't believe in Christ or fears to offend those of her friends who don't believe.
Yet she finds some kind of comfort in sharing the details of her life with her family and friends during this season. It's similar to those weird stories I have seen lately about "Atheist Churches." Places for those people who have no faith or belief in God to gather and tell feel good stories to one another about all their accomplishments. From what I have read, these "churches" are not places of worship, but places nonetheless where folk of like mind and heart can gather to share in fellowship and food, if nothing else. Although, it probably could be debated as to whether they do worship themselves or the human mind, but I digress. That is a different story.

I have been stewing about my cousin's "annual letter" because of the following paragraph:

"Worse thing of the year? Worthless, meaningless, and idiotic government closure. Since we care for animals we, of course, worked while other government employees got paid to stay home. This is idiotic and it should be against the law for elected officials to close the government. It’s their job to make it run. I have absolutely no acceptance for this and all the negative ramifications it causes."

At first, I thought she was only miffed because she has what is an apparently "essential" government job and had to actually work during the brief government shutdown this past fall. That may very well be part of her problem with the shutdown. Her fellow government cronies got to stay home and eventually collected pay for the forced time off, but she had to work.
As I pondered it more and more...ok, worried it like a dog worries a bone, is a more apt description...I started to think I should respond to her letter and let her know what the "shutdown" looked like to someone who doesn't live in the Beltway surrounding DC. I thought about responding with snark as in the following:

"I'm not sure if you are angry because you didn't get to spend the shutdown sitting at home while getting paid, or because of the shutdown itself. My own thoughts on the issue run almost diametrically opposed to yours, but that should be no surprise to you. The question that comes immediately to mind is that if these personnel are "non-essential" then why do they have (government) jobs at all? No one seems to be able to answer that question.

My second thought is (as you are probably aware), the problem is that the Senate hasn't passed a budget in over three years. That's why we have to have continuing resolutions in order to fund the government....because the Senate has steadfastly refused, under the leadership of Harry Reid, to even bring a budget to the floor for discussion or negotiation, much less a vote." 

 

Then I let it rest for awhile, but it keeps bugging me. Should I perhaps make light of it, by telling her how comical it was to hear her grousing about all the supposedly negative ramifications to this shutdown when the DC ruling elite had to barricade open-air memorials and parking lots in order to inconvenience tourists enough that they might share the outrage? Because, quite frankly, the impact was minimal in my neck of the woods. Granted, the long arm of the federal government did attempt to make an impact on ordinary citizens, but most of us just went about our business, working around the inconveniences. Or, as the World War II vets so powerfully showed us, pushed right through the inconveniences (barricades) and visited the "open 24/7 year-round" Memorial dedicated to them.

 

The thing is, I want to rattle her cage a little bit...let her know that just because she breathes the air in Liberal La La Land and thinks the sun rises and sets with huge centralized government, there are a lot of folks who happen to think that those "non-essential bureaucrats" should maybe look for work in the private sector. Or that at least having the elected officials shut down the government leaves us with an option...to vote them out or attempt to vote them out, if we don't like their decisions. We have no such recourse with unelected bureaucrats, whom we apparently have to pay even if they don't work and whom we may not even be able to fire. Ever. That is much more troublesome to me than elected officials making a decision with which I may not agree. 

 

In the course of all this mental ranting, I kept hearing that "still small voice" that is the voice of my Lord. He is telling me to let it go, to be charitable and generous in my response to her "annual letter." He is telling me I should focus on the rest of her letter...the parts about her life, the travels she's undertaken this past year and the loved ones she's lost (pets, no people) and her plans for the future.

 

Maybe that's why I have been stewing about it, worrying it like a dog bone. Because my first inclination is not to be charitable and generous, but to start an argument or issue a snarky response. He's asking me to be bigger and better than my pitiful self and also to be obedient to His will. It's hard because I want her to know I do not agree with her, but I also want to show her the best of what it means to be a Catholic Christian, especially at this time of year, when we are making preparations in our hearts for His Coming. I want her to feel the "peace that passes all understanding," when/if she comes to know the Lord. And I want her to trust in Jesus Christ and not the federal government.

That probably won't happen if I respond to her letter as I want to respond and not as God is calling me to respond.

So, I am choosing to be obedient to God's will. I will forbear and be charitable and generous when I respond to her "annual letter"... with my greetings via a Christmas card portraying the Nativity. :-)

I am already feeling joyful about evangelizing the way God wants me to do it. 

"Justice shall flower in his days, and profound peace, till the moon be no more." ~ Psalm 72:7 (The Word Among Us, Mass readings for 12-3-2013)

Advent...A New Beginning

Winter Snow makes the red rocks seem vibrant

"Come and save us, Lord our God; let your face shine upon us, that we may be saved."  ~ Psalm 80:4

When I got around to checking on this blog, I was shocked to see how long it had been since I had last written a post. This blog and the posting on it are what I believe the Lord is calling me to, even if no one else ever reads my musings.
So, when praying about what I should do to prepare the way for Christmas and the Coming of the Lord into my heart again, I was led to review my blog. The Lord definitely wants me to use my skills to write a blog. I don't feel particularly skilled or think that I have things worthwhile to say, but He keeps calling me back to it, so He must see something in me that I have been ignoring. So, here we go again.

All this deep introspection has been because of a podcast I listened to on how to determine my apostolate. There were five questions and the first one was "What things do people compliment you on?" So, as I was praying about this and pondering what things I have been complimented on, I was once again brought back to writing and photography. The point of the first question is that if you are good at something...the example used was cooking and that is definitely not one of my skills :-)...then that may be something that the Lord is using as a way to reach people. If, the example goes on, I am good at cooking, then perhaps that skill (question number two, which I will address tomorrow) may be what God wants me to use to reach out to people and evangelize them. I think the point of the podcast is to help us realize that the "E" word (evangelization) doesn't have to be something scary or something that we are reluctant to do. Going door to door to share my faith is not something which would ever come easily to me. However, reaching out by writing is something that has always come easily...more easily than speaking, in fact. It also brings me to my other Advent offering.

An Advent Angel

It has been a custom of our local women's group to anonymously give Advent gifts to someone in our parish family. It's just a way of reaching out to them and letting them know that they are loved and cared for, not only by the "Advent Angel" but by God, who has called a person to give something of themselves to the person(s) of their choice. As a group, we draw names from among those who are attending our meetings, but the group won't meet this year until the third week of Advent, so I felt called to reach out to a couple at the beginning of Advent. The couple the Lord chose for me is a couple a little older than myself and they are facing the challenge of a serious health condition for which there seems to be no remedy. But, as we all know, God has remedies in mind of which the world knows nothing. So, it is my hope and prayer that my reaching out to this couple will enable them to accept God's will and that God will also bless them with a miracle of His choosing. This week, I have sent them a card with some simple bookmarks enclosed. Each week in Advent, I will give them something until Christmas. The ultimate gift, of course, is Christ and as He gives Himself for the Life of the World, perhaps I can give them Christ in the Eucharist by giving as the final present a gift of Masses for them.