Easter joy

Oh, the exquisite wonderful joy of Easter. Knowing that Christ has won the victory is joy beyond belief. It is everything. I love the readings of this time... Acts, when the apostles learn that the power of the risen Lord is their power, granted to them as friends of Jesus.

To know that this power is mine also is wonderful. I need to go forth and proclaim Jesus as my Lord and tell stories about him and what he does for me and has done for me. How do I begin, my Lord? One of the meditations this week told me to go out and proclaim your victory to the birds and the flowers and everything. What should I say? How do I start? I know so little about how to proclaim you. I want to, though, and that is a big step for me, as you know, because I have always been terrified of the "E" word...evangelize.

It is not difficult to speak of one you love. When you are in love it is very easy to speak of the loved one to others. Each little act that you cherish, each feature that you adore become stories in themselves. This is how you evangelize. It is not difficult when you love. Do not fear. I am with you. Do not let your heart be troubled by anything, for I am your God and your captain. I am the guide for this portion of your life's journey and you will learn to share me and your love of me as we go along. For now, try to think of something that you love about me and work it into a story that you can share with someone. It will become easier once you try it. Do not fear, little one. You are mine and I love you. My power is indeed yours and I ask you to use it to the full. Go in peace and thank you for coming back to spend this time with me again.

Easter

Jesus Christ is Risen Today, Hallelulia Hallelulia!

I thank you, my Lord and My God for what you have done for me and for the whole world. Help me to be worthy of this tremendous gift and help me also to be as compassionate and generous as you are.

Forgive me when I am selfish or stingy and mean-spirited. I do not want to be those things, Lord, but to emulate you in all ways. For that reason, I ask that you especially bless those people I have been angry at today. Help me to love them as you love them.

Lord, please give me the gift of joy. Thank you for the grace to complete this gift to you. I did struggle at times, but I have completed an entry for every day of Lent and that gives me great joy. I hope this gift is meaningful to you.

My Sweet One--

Of course it is meaningful to me. It is a promise kept and that is always cause for joy and love. I love you so much and you are so special to me. I have great plans in store for you. I will give you the graces you need to do my will in all things. Be at peace and know that I love you with an everlasting love. You are mine and we will go forth into my Kingdom doing my will and work. You will like working for me, my beloved one. Go in peace and in my love and joy.

Holy Saturday

From the Exulstet of the Roman Catholic Church: "This is the night when Christians everywhere washed clean of sin and freed from all defilement are restored to grace and grow together in holiness."

What a wonderful thought and what a wonderful God I have. Thank you my Lord and my King. Thank you for suffering the agonies of the cross, bearing the weight of my sins that I might be freed and washed clean in your blood. Thank you for all you do for me. Thank you and please allow me to repay you with my life and my love. Please allow me to renew my life in the cleansing waters of baptism and repentance. Help me, Lord Jesus to make the most of the time you have granted to me and to do as you will. I know my journey has been far from perfect and yet I offer it to you in the hopes that you will make of it something special and holy. I give it to you, sweet Lord.

I can not bear it on this most holy night that any of my children should be in sorrow. I have died and risen that you might have life and have it to the full. Claim all I have to give and go out and share it with all whom you meet. You have been redeemed. Take joy in this and do not fear. All is well. I love you so much. Rejoice. You are mine. I have claimed you with the price of my life.

Good Friday

It is Good Friday, the day of crucifixion. When I stopped by the church, all is barren and empty. It is a sad place without the Lord. All is sad without the Lord. Forgive me for all the times I take you for granted and do not do as you ask. It is a dark place without the Light of the World.
You have endured too much for me. I must become a better person by doing your will. I love you, my King. I love you.

Holy Thursday

And so it begins...the final push, the great celebration of my faith, the Triduum of Easter. It begins tonight with the institution of Holy Eucharist. As we were waiting in the Garden this evening following the celebration of Eucharist, I hope I had some idea of what it must have been like for those with you that evening. I know my mind was wandering all over the place and having been so tired at times, I am sure I know what the disciples who fell asleep felt even though you asked them to remain awake with you for one hour. They wanted to, but just couldn't hold their eyes open. And the anguish you have gone through this night and tomorrow...no one but you could possibly understand the torment of your heart and soul, but I would like to share the sorrow with you if it will help relieve your burden. I know you came to help relieve my burdens and my sins, and even though you have no sins, I will help you carry any burdens you may ask of me.

Oh sweet one...thank you for the offer. I will allow you to help me with those burdens I think you can help me with. Do not fear. I want you to be with me and to help me. That is why I have chosen this path for you now. The path you were on was not leading where I need you to go to help me. Come with me and you will have your share of the joys and sorrows, the burdens and the strength to carry it. You will have all you need. Just be with me as I want to be with you and we will do the Father's will together.

Tell me of your dream.

It was raining and I was with my friend. We were in her vehicle, along with her oldest son and an infant identified as her youngest grandchild, but not the child of her oldest son. The buildings of the downtown area are familiar as the buildings of my town. I am barefoot and ask my friend if she will drop me by my grandfather's place...two blocks from where we are. She says no and I think at first that she is joking...after all, it is only two blocks. I tell her that and she again says no, she just won't do it and could I get out now as she has to feed the baby. I get out of her vehicle, my feet landing in a puddle and I again ask her if she will please give me a ride as it's raining and I'm barefoot and it's only two blocks out of her way and again she says no and drives between two buildings...tall buildings (and there actually is no road between them). I tell her as I get out that I am very hurt and she says she just can't do it.

Then tonight I find the reason for the dream is that is how I make you feel when I don't/won't do as I think you are commanding me. I hurt you that badly and I am so sorry for the times when I won't go out of my way to do as you ask me, Lord. It is a humbling thing to think that I hurt you that badly. I am so sorry. Help me to do better.

Rest in my love, knowing that I am with you and that I died for you that you might have more chances to overcome the faults in yourself that keep you from me. I love you and want you with me. Go in peace knowing that I am with you and love you.

In need of redemption

I did it again. I fully intended to come home, have dinner and then work on my compter class, but instead I had dinner and sat down to watch a television program and have not done anything on my class.

Lord, please set me free of this addiction that I might serve you more completely and fully. Forgive me and help me.

Dear one--

I came that you might have life and have it to the full. Be healed and set free. I love you.

To Soar

I do not know why I am having so much trouble here at the end when I should be doing so much better than at the beginning, but I seem to be going backwards. I am having as much trouble doing as I should now as I had right at the beginning of the journey.

Forgive me, Lord. Help me to do better and to finish the race. I love you and cherish you. I want to do what you want and need me to do.

I want to be one of your mystics and do wonderful things for you. The more I read of them, the more I wonder if I shall ever have what it takes, but the more I am inspired to really soar.

Thank you for everything you have done and for everything you do for me. You are so wonderful to me. I love you so much. Please allow me to be one of your servants and show me what I need to do to become one. Help me, Lord, to get over my addiction to television.

I do love you--more than you can possible know or imagine. I do forgive you, but I also grow weary of the same of complaints. How I long for you to become all you can be, all I have in mind for you. I cannot help you if you will not hear me and you will not hear me if the television is drowning out my voice. Learn to listen to my voice above all and to desire it above all and we can make some progress. Remember that this is Holy Week. Try to make it holy. I love you. Go in peace. I forgive you.

St.Patrick's Day

It is quite rare that St. Patrick's Day falls within Holy Week and it won't happen again for quite some time.

St. Patrick used the clover to explain the Trinity to his people. Three leaves, one clover. It was a truly inspired explanation of something that must have seemed very unexplainable at the time.

Thank you for St. Patrick and all the blessings we have through him.

Also today when meditating on the words of "God Calling," I realized that my worries about insurance are needless. So many of your saints did not have insurance except for you. I really feel that you are calling me to fore go insurance and trust in you. If that is not the case, then please let me know. It is almost as big a leap as it was to let go of my job.

And now they are discontinuing one of the services I had offered through my job and the boss's girlfriend is going to be coming in to help out. So, we move on to another era.

I do not regret the job nor moving on at this time. So many of the things happening in the world tell me that big things are afoot and that you want me available to do your will and work. Thank you for that.

My sweet child--

Trust me in all and you will experience such joy. Do not fear..I will care for you and you will have no regrets. This is my will for you and I can scarcely brook the delay. I long for the day when you will be mine. Continue to work on your class and do not be afraid. I am with you and for you and in you and you are mine. All is well. Focus on me and the cross this week. It is for you that this has happened. Do you believe this? You must claim this stupendous truth as your own. Go in peace. I love you.

Holy Week Begins

The geese have returned to the area and are looking for a safe place to nest, but are finding that difficult due to the ice that still clogs the waterways. Usually, the water surrounds the islands where they nest, preventing the foxes and coyotes from preying upon the nests. This year, spring is late in coming and the geese seem startled and confused about where to go and what to do. Walking across the ice as they are, they look more like penguins than geese.

Today is the beginning of Holy Week, Passion Sunday. This is the day the Lord entered triumphantly into the City of Jerusalem, an entry that was marked on this day by palms and shouts of Hosanna and joy. Later in the week, the sounds are not so pleasant and he will be killed in the city which today honors him. How fickle is the human heart. So many of those who today honor him will join in the mockery later in the week. It must have broken his heart to be so rejected. And not for himself, but for those rejecting him. They have no idea what they are doing as they scorn and mock the itinerant preacher from Galilee.

But today is a day for celebrating and it must have warmed the hearts of those who truly love Jesus to see him honored as they believe he should be. After all, they didn't know, or rather, didn't believe that he would indeed be crucified later in the week. As his disciples, they must also have basked in his triumphant entry into Jerusalem. Lord, I pray that I may never turn from loving and cherishing and worshipping you to denying you and mocking you. Please grant me the grace to not hurt you in that manner.

My sweet child, love of my heart. Do not fear. I have saved you and will continue to save you. You think I save you from others, but I actually save you from yourself and from the times when you may mock me or reject me. I gave granted you the graces to love me and appreciate all I do for you. You are precious to me and I do not wish to lose you. You do sometimes disappoint me and do not do as I ask but you are learning to do as I command. I am delighted that you have begun reading of my mystics. You are drawn to this because it is part of my vision for you. Do not fear. I lead my loved ones gently into the places where I would have them be. It is not something you need fear, but I want you to understand fully what it is I am asking of you, so continue to study the lives of these friends of mine. Pray much this week that you may fully experience my passion and the joy of my Resurrection. Go in peace and know that I love you and am guiding you and guarding you. You are precious to me. This week is for you.

The Victory of the Palm

Today during Mass, Father A. explained that the palm is a sign of victory and is also to be placed in a special spot in the home as a ward against evil.

Thank you for the richness of my faith and for all the gifts and graces you have given me, Lord God.

Thank you for this day and for my daughter and her husband and their daughter, my granddaughter who finished 7th in the state spelling bee.

Thank you for my friend who journeyed with me to the spelling bee just because she is my friend.

Thank you for her husband who is a little angry because we are so late. We stayed to attend the celebration of Mass with our former paster. It was a delight to share in the Mass as celebrated by him and through, with and in you. Thank you for the gift of the Mass. It is truly a gift and grace that you have given to us.

I love you, my rock and my salvation. Help me to finish the journey we began on Ash Wednesday. Help me to do you will now and always.

You are doing my will, sweet child. Once you have given your life to me and have begun to realize the tremendous importance of the Mass and the Eucharist in your life, you are doing my will. I know you do not yet fully realize all that I am to you, but you are learning and I am delighted. I forgive you your faults and failings and will be with you as we continue to journey to the places I need my good and faithful servant to be. I have work for you and am preparing you for the journey. You will like what I have planned for you. I love you and cherish you. Do not feat to go with me. All is well. Be at peace.

My Fortress

"I love you, O Lord, my strength.
O Lord, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer."--Psalm 18:1

I do love you so mightily, my King. How good it is to read these scriptures which try to describe how wonderful it is to love you. This psalm continues later with the words, "In my distress I called upon the Lord and cried out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice and my cry to him reached his ears."
I know that you have many times heard my cry of distress and I thank you for answering me, even when my fears seemed pitiful to you, you still answered me, calming me and giving me strength to go on. I know there have been times when I could not have continued on if not for you.
It bothered me greatly today when the wife of a co-worker came into the store and was passing around a card to others, but not to me. It is times like this that I am so glad I am leaving this place of work. They are so often so cruel to me without thinking anything of it.
Help me Lord to forbear their cruelty and to forgive them when they so exclude me.

I do love you so, my child. Do not fear this seeming cruelty. You have been thinking that perhaps it has something to do with you and perhaps you are correct. Do not judge what you do not know. Turn the matter over to me, trusting that I will indeed hear and answer your distress. You are not alone in anything, my sweet child, ever. I will always be with you to help you and guide you. Do not be afraid of this or any other thing that may distress you. Call upon me and allow me to love you and show my love for you.

Another day of small offerings

Lord, I am so sorry but I am so tired this evening and have nothing to offer you. I give you all I am, even my tiredness and my faults and failings. Forgive me for not doing as I have been commanded and help me to do better. I love you.

There are times when all you can do is what you have just done. I know you can do better and will grant you the grace to do so. Go in peace. You are forgiven and loved.

The White Hot Furnace

"Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, "There is no need for us to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If our God, whom we serve, can save us from the white-hot furnace and from your hands, O king, may he save us! But even if he will not, know, O king, that we will not serve your God or whorship the golden statue tht you set up."--Daniel 3:18-20

I love this story, not only because of the faith shown by Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego but because of their refusal to acknowledge any God but their own. For me, as an American, this is a new concept as I have always been taught, from earliest memories that while I may choose to worship my God, it is not acceptable for me to think of my God as the only God. Our laws, while promoting tolerance of other people and their religion, also do us a disservice, I think, because we must then tolerate gods who are not the God. How refreshing it is to hear this story and to hear these three refuse to acknowledge that the king has a different God than they. For them, there is only one God, their God and they are willing to die for this belief. I hope that I may have that type of faith should it ever be tested in a similar manner or even in any manner. Thank you, Lord, for the inspiring story. Help me to be more like these three faithful servants of yours.

My sweet child, thank you for loving me and listening to me. I know of your struggles and even though you may not see the furnace of your testing, know that you are being tested as surely as these servants of old. Trust me in all and do as I ask, and you, too, will emerge unscathed from the white-hot fire. I love you. Go in peace and do not fear. I walk with you on this journey. All is well.

Impatient with the Journey

"But with their patience worn out by the journey, the people complained against God and Moses, "Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water? We are disgusted with this wretched food!"--Numbers 21:4-5

A meditation I was reading this day about the above passage asked how often we had heard the query from young travelers, "Are we there yet?" Most often, the query is repeated ad nauseum until parents are complaining about the length of the journey and the children's behavior and no one is enjoying the journey.

Sometimes we become too focused on the destination and forget to enjoy the journey. I am so thankful for the journey you have given me this Lent my Lord and King. My saviour, you are journeying with me along the route chosen for me to reach the destination of your Easter Resurrection.

I know that like children who have grown impatient with the journey, I often complain about the length of the journey and my own loss of comforts, forgetting the purpose of the Lenten sacrifice is to help me prepare to receive you in all your Glory and fullness of life.

Help me, my Lord and King, to journey with faith and trust in you, my guide. Help me to always know that while I may not like the food provided by you, that you do indeed give me food and water--that you know my needs and will provide them. I need have no fear of lacking anything to the point of death. But if I do, then it is because it is your will for me to undergo privation, learning lessons from the fast I can learn no other way.

My God, you are beautiful and wonderful to me. I love you and grow daily more in love with you. I long for the day when my heart will again sing for sheer joy at the thought of you.

These are the moments I love and cherish with you, my dear one. Moments when you are fully awake and choose to spend this time with me because of love, not duty. I do appreciate it when you obey out of a sense of duty, but I love and cherish the moments when you come to me fully awake and desirous of spending the time fully in communion with me. I cherish you and love you. You are my beloved and I give you your heart's desire. Do not fear. All is well. I love you. Go in peace. You are mine and I will provide for all your needs, whether in the desert or at the oasis. I fill your needs. Bless you, my beloved child.

Casting the First Stone

"Let the one among you who is without sin cast the first stone."--John 8:7

This has always been a favorite scripture of mine because I can identify with the woman in the scripture who is brought before the judge. I have always felt a bit victimized by those whom I know and think that the woman was victimized also, by her situation and by her own actions. I certainly know that my actions have not produced the results I want in my life and to a certain degree I am victimized by those. But I also think it appeals to me not because I am the victim, but one of the people who judge when I am not without sin myself. I so often think I am the one being hurt but do not always consider the hurt I cause others by my own actions.

I need to re-evaluate what I do and how I think of others, especially when I am prone to judge them. I need to have more compassion and be less judgemental of them.

I am so angry now with one of the people I work with. I have been thinking he is the one being judgemental and perhaps he is but I also am being judgemental in how I think of him. I just realized tonight that perhaps he feels abandoned by me even though I have considered him to be the one who abandoned our friendship.

Help me to forgive him and to reach out to him, even if he did abandon our friendship. I think he has always judged me harshly and I only now am realizing it. Lord, help me with this person. Help me to give him something that he needs and that you want him to have. Thank you Lord for always hearing my prayer and for always forgiving me for my past sins and judgments. I love you. Help me to love you more and more.

Do you know, sweet one, how it hurts me when someone judges of another and also sins themself? If each person would concern themself with removing the sin from their own life and not worry about the sins of another, the world would soon be brought to me. Your friend does judge you harshly and has abandoned your friendship. I know it hurts you and yet I say to you, forgive me and be not afraid of his judgement. I will deal with the false judges, as I did with Susannah in the Old Testament reading this day. Trust me to vindicate you and I will do so. Focus only on removing the sin from your life and pray for this person. Pray that he may be blessed according to his need. I will deal with the rest.

Go in peace and do not fear. I am with you and I am your God. He cannot hurt you. I protect you and uphold you. You are mine. I love you.

Little Offerings

I have so little to offer tonight, .my Lord and my King. I have been with my grandchildren for the past weekend and then spent the evening tonight babysitting for my friend's two young children. I am exhausted and have only yawns and more yawns to offer tonight.
But, I do offer them to you in thanksgiving and with praise. You are so wonderful to have given me this life and these people to share it with and for that I thank you and praise you and offer my love and worship.
Let me be the person you want me to be. I am yours and will do as you will in all things. Forgive me for not having more to offer this night as all I want to do is go back to sleep.

And yet you did rouse yourself and come and offer me what little you did have. You are learning to be the person I would have you be. Think on that and give me praise for that as well. You are becoming the person I would have you be, I repeat. Go in peace and know that I love and cherish you.

Counting my blessings

Good Evening my Lord and my friend--

Thank you so much for the day and taking such good care of us. Thank you for all the blessings you continue to pour out on me and my family.

Please help me to know what I am to do for you. Thank you for the grace to write this evening, even though I thought about not doing so. I have managed to write, only with the benefit of your grace and Holy Spirit, all days of this Lent.

Our journey is nearing its conclusion. Palm Sunday is next week..and the journey draws to its conclusion. I hope I am learning something this Lent, my King. I hope I am learning what it is you wish me to learn.

Thank you so very much for everything. Help me to do better at the things you wish me to do better at.

Bless Mel tonight and also Brandon, and Tyler and Heather and Sam. Bless also my son Paul. Bless them with whatever you need them to have. I love you. Please bless all my children and grandchildren.

Sweet one--

All is well indeed. You have managed to journey this far with me. Pray for the strength to contine on to the end, and especially to be with me at the end. I pray for your faithfulness and that you may have the strength to go the distance with me. Your faithfulness in this matter will bring you such blessings and unlooked for benefits. It is worth doing, so keep to the course laid out and we will arrive at the crucifixion and subsequent resurrection and you shall indeed know the joy of The Risen Lord.

Go in peace and know that I love you and that all is well.

Family Visits

Thank you Lord for the blessing of family. Thank you for allowing my grandchildren and daughter-in-law to travel safely to us for a weekend visit.
I love you and I hope to show it by my love for them. Bless our interactions this weekend.

A Relenting God

"So the Lord relented in the punishment he had threatened to inflict on his people."--Exodus 32:14.

One of the mediations I read today regarding this passage noted that someone had made a wise observation while commenting on the passage from Jonah. It stated that as long as the Lord is faithful to His people, he doesn't have to be faithful to His word. In other words, God can change his mind from what he as said he will do, as long as the reason he changes it is for the good of his people. As in the case of the Ninevites, who repented and so God did not punish them as he had threatened to do. In the passage above, God relents because his servant Moses asks him to relent. Even though the people have not yet repented of the evil they have chosen, Moses believes that God will not allow others to believe the worst of God as they would if the people of God are punished in the desert.

Another reading noted how God answers the prayers of His people. If we believe enough, He will save nations. If we have faith but the size of a mustard seed, He will answer us. And so today I began in earnest and in faithful accpetance of God's word for the salvation of my nation--the land of my birth.

I do not know what will happen in this upcoming election, but I believe that our nation is on the brink of destruction. And the destruction will come from within. Already forces keep reducing the freedoms we have. Laws are being made that strip the freedoms of each of us and while people think these laws are for "our own good," they don't realize the box they are building around us. They are becoming like the Pharisees who obeyed the letter of the law, but not the Spirit. Each time we pass a new law banning something or the other, we strip our human souls of the God given right to choose, the free will. I guess. I hope my thinking is right here. I will keep praying for our nation. I hope my thoughts as to what our nation needs coincide with what God wants or that He will enlighten me if they do not.

Thank you Lord for all your many blessings. Forgive me for my failures this day and help me to do better tomorrow. I love you.

You are precious to me. I cherish you and love you so dearly. You are indeed walking the path I have chosen for you, even if you do not yet see it. I know you walk the path of faith and for that I love you and give you your heart' s desire. Be at peace and know that I am God and can do all things. There is nothing to fear and your prayers will be answered in a most beautiful and wonderful way. Go in peace. I love you.

Just Be

"The Lord is faithful in all his words and holy in all his works.
The Lord lifts up all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down."--Psalm 145:3-4

I am so comforted by the thought that God will raise up all who are bowed down and lifts up all who are falling. For I feel like today that describes me perfectly.
I do so little for the Lord who has done so much for me. I sometimes cannot even do the little I tell him I will do for him.
I do not know what to think about this, Lord but pray that you will indeed lift me up.
I find it interesting that you have called both my prayer partner and myself to re-consider the paths we were on and to step back from our current jobs and so something different. I feel as if you are planning something for us and need us to be more available to you. I thank you for this and also for the grace to respond to you.

Just be, sweet one. Do not fear to just be who you are. You are mine and I will indeed lift you up if you fall and raise you up when you are bowed down. That is all you need to know. You are mine. You have pledged your life to me. I will do what you cannot. Just be. I love you. Go in peace.

The River of God

"There is a stream whose runlets gladden the city of God, the holy dwelling of the Most High."--Psalm 46:5

I am so delighted to spend this time with you, My Lord and My God. My heart sings when I think of coming here to visit with you. How I love you and thank you and praise you. You alone are good and you alone are the God of the Universe. I adore you and love you with all my heart.

I have always felt drawn to water and streams of water. You can tell by looking that my photographs often are of water. You are the River of Life to me and I am drawn to you. There is no life without water and there is no life without the water you provide, water which will quench the thirst of the soul and make it grow. I read with interest today's reading from Ezekiel. The river begins only ankle deep but by the time they are done measuring, it is a river which cannot be crossed except by swimming it. And the trees which grow on it are nourished by its stream always. So must it be with you, my Lord. You nourish us always, causing us to grow in all seasons. We might now be aware of the growth, for it is slow as during the slow hibernation of winter, but growth is there, just beneath the surface waiting for the warm sun of spring to bring it into full bloom.
I also mention this day the stairstep climb that brings us closer and closer to you. I mention it because you commanded me to earlier today. I feel as if I climb the stairs seeking nearness to you and that I ever climb and climb and often cannot see that I am making progress in drawing nearer to you. I hope the progress is real and that I cannot determine it at this point in my life, but real nonetheless.

I am the River of Life and all who drink from me will never thirst. You are most blessed because you do drink from this river and because you do draw near to me, even though you may not see it. I see it and rejoice that you are drawing nearer and nearer to me. Keep on climbing for you will see God. You are much loved. Be not afraid. I am with you, guiding you and guarding you. All is well. Go in peace, my sweet one. I love you.

A Monday

I wish we could have do-over some days, but I know that once spent the coin of this day's life is gone and we can not re-do it.

For whatever reason, I didn't accomplish anything that I wanted to get done today and I got so angry with those I love for no reason.

Forgive me, Lord and help me to do better tomorrow.

I do forgive you. This day is indeed gone and cannot be re-done. Your best choice is to lay aside the burden of not doing what you wanted and start with a clean slate tomorrow. Do not allow yourself to feel undue guilt over your failure to do what you thought you should do this day and did not. I love you my child. Fear not. Go in peace for all is well.

A Child of the Light

"Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord." --Ephesians 5:9-10.

I know that when I am obedient and do what I think God is calling me to do, He is pleased. I know that when I forgive those who hurt me, He is pleased. I know that when I sacrifice myself or my desires so that another might benefit, He is pleased.

Similarly, when I do not do what He wants me to do, He is not pleased. And when I am selfish or self-centered or stingy, he is not pleased.

I have found that when I do the most generous and thoughtful things that I can do and not been boastful of so doing, then I please the Lord. I do not think it is difficult to do these things. I wish I could say that I am better at it, though. Even though it is not difficult, it is sometimes easier to do what I think will benefit me and to ignore the small still voice that is the Lord, telling me to do otherwise.

Thank you, my Lord for the gifts you have given me today and the sacrifices you have made on my behalf. Help me to emulate you and to do so cheerfully and with a heart that is full of joy and gladness at being able to do your will.

Please bless my efforts on behalf of my husband. Help me to be a blessing to our business and to do what will benefit it the most. Thank you for the opportunity to work there.

Help me to do whatever pleases you and to know what that is. Help me to be a child of the light and to live as such. I love you.

And I love you, my sweet one. Thank you for trying to do this one more time, even after the internet was down. You could have chosen to go to bed without trying once again. I am blessing your efforts in this endeavor so mightily. Do not be afraid to let go of the things you have previously clung to. Cling to me that you might have life. You are mine and I will care for you with all the tenderness of a mother hen guarding her brood. Rejoice and rejoice again.

Go in peace. I love you.

Reruns

Reruns! You spent the evening watching reruns on television when you could have spent the time with me or at the very least doing the computer class you need to take.
Think about this.
You spent the evening watching reruns of movies you have already seen. Is this what you consider to be living life to the full? Is this what you consider important? Or even desirable?
Is this what you consider to be obedience, for I know you heard me whisper to you that you needed to do some class work.
Or you can always spend the time with me, your God, your King, your friend. Your savior.
Ponder what you are doing with your life and then ponder some more what you wish to do with your time. I am disappointed in you, my sweet one. Very disappointed.
Yet, I love you still and forgive you.
Try to do better tomorrow. But do consider how what you choose to do with your life reflects on me. And what you want to be.
Do you want television reruns to be the statement of your life?
Do not judge of other addicts when you so purposefully ignore your own addiction. Stop to consider this the next time you seek to pray for an alcoholic or drug addict.

Oh my Lord and my God. Help me. Forgive me for I do not want this to be the statment of my life. Forgive me and strengthen me to forego this pastime. Help me to more obedient to your word each moment of my life. I am sorry my Lord and God. Forgive me.