I guess I can start while the picture is downloading. I had a pretty good day today as I went through my day. I love starting the day off reading of You and your friends--the angels and saints and all the people who have been eternally remembered in the Bible.
When I go to work, my day becomes more focused on the people I serve and the people I work with. I am finding that it is easier to deal with all of them when I first spend time with you, even though I arrive at work later than the others. I used to resent the fact that co-workers hang out together chatting before I get there. Then I realized that I hang out and chat with You and your friends and it pleases me to be able to do that. I love coming before You in the Tabernacle, allowing you to flood me with your light and love while I prepare for the world. I do feel the need to prepare for it, though and I wonder how I am doing from your point of view.
As I was once again resenting the fact that I am not invited to the birthday party, I realized that my anger and resentment were things I am picking up from the one planning the party. It is that person who is sending me resentful and angry thoughts and feelings. I suspect I am picking up on it because you want me to pray for this person. I resisted at first, afraid that my prayers will be answered and you will bless this person more than you bless me. I am sorry for this selfish attitude. Help me to overcome it and to desire your fullest blessing poured out on these people. Forgive me for this selfishness.
But could you please also bless me with something here? I have so wanted to be recognized for what you have done in answer to my prayers. Forgive me for that as well. I realize I should be telling the stories of how you have answered my prayers and shouting it from the rooftops. I wish I was more of a shouter sometimes. I prefer to write most all the time, though. I guess it doesn't have the same impact as being an effective speaker.
Anyway, once I realized that my resentments were coming from outside, it was easy for me to ask that your love be reflected back upon the sender of these ill thoughts. I won't go into why there are ill thoughts and feelings, because I am sure that fault and failings with me can be found there as well.
One of the things I did do today was to a little research on St. Rose of Lima who chose me to be a companion this upcoming year. At an early age she began fasting and also doing severe penance for her vanities. Perhaps that is something you are telling me I need to be concerned about--my vanities. When people spoke of her beauty, she scarred herself and cut off her hair so as not to be complimented on these things. Forgive me my vanity and teach me how to be more like St. Rose of Lima as I go through the year and as I strive to change my physical appearance.
I don't think I can ever be as sacrificing as she...but you never know. All things are possible with my Lord and God. I guess if that is what you are asking of me, we really have a lot of work to do.
Is there anything you would speak to my heart this night, Lord? I long to hear your voice.
Oh my sweet one--
Blessed child that you are. I love to hear from you and love to see the growth in your soul. It is the beauty of St. Rose's soul that is important to me. As she felt the need to do severe penances, her soul became cleansed of those things marring it and making it unclean. Your own soul is
being cleansed. Each of my children and disciples is different, requiring different disciplines.
Do not fret. You are being led and guided into the path chosen for you. The Saints who chose you as companion have much to show you and teach you...and they just want to get to know you as you are getting to know them. Be not afraid of where they take you or what they have to teach you. They know your future and are doing my will in preparing you for it. You have asked for friends and these are some of the friends who want to share your life in Me. You will have whatever you need when the time comes for you to know more of what the future holds.
Last night you agreed to come with me whereever the road takes us. Is that what you want tonight as well?
Oh yes, Lord. Of course I want to go with you, wherever the road may lead. I try not to doubt or fear, so please help me with those things.
I do help you and will help you. And I will give you a precious blessing in regards to the matter in your heart. You will recognize it and rejoice. Go in peace my sweet child. Do not fear. We love you and rejoice in your life. Sleep easy, my child.
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