A Wilderness of White

This winter is such a total whiteout. As we journey into the wilderness, it is a wilderness of white for me this year. Usually, my pictures of this time are mostly barren and brown, with background white. But this winter, all my photos are white..snow and blowing snow. It just keeps piling up and I thank you, Lord, for the blessing of water.

Thank you also for preparing my boss's heart and allowing me to quit with grace and class. It was difficult for me, but he was so kind about it and really seemed prepared for it. I just about wrote, was it prayer but then I realized that of course it was you, preparing his heart to hear me and know that it is time for me to be gone. At first when I told him and he was so kind, I thought perhaps, even relieved, that perhaps he has been wanting to replace me anyway. And perhaps he has thought about it. It's ok, even if he has as it makes it easier for me to move on.

So, I really feel as if I can begin my plans and preparations for our new life together, Lord. I had to re-read my Lenten obligations to you as I thought I had forsaken television again and failed miserably again. I will make reducing my television viewing time a part of my fasting.

I really liked Father's call to fast tonight and pray that I will find more and more ways to fast and pray.

Forgive me for the disobedience of offering my computer skills when you had told me to rely totally on you. Have mercy on me Lord for this act of disobedience.

It struck me tonight when reading of Eve's disobedience in eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil that such simple acts of disobedience have such long reaching effects. It scares me, Lord, that I might do something so thoughtless that someone far away or not yet born may suffer from it. Help me to remember how devastating those acts can be. It doesn't matter what the act is, if you are commanded not to do it, then you must not do it. Anyway, have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord.

I love you, my little one. Do not be afraid for I am truly leading you where I want and need you to be. It is exciting, what I have planned for you. You will not regret giving up the security of the job you just quit to work for me. I know it has been several years that you have wanted to do this and have thought of other ways to leave. But stepping out in faith is what I have wanted from you. You asked to win the lottery or hit a jackpot so you would have the financial security to leave. And I wanted you to find your security in me and to act on that belief. Thank you for finally hearing me and letting go of everything the world tells you is necessary. You know that all you need is me and I will provide. Continue to work on your lenten obligations as we continue our journey into the wilderness. In your instance, a wilderness of white, but a wilderness nonetheless. We will learn much about one another on the journey. Are you ready? Will you come with me wherever I lead you?

Yes, my Lord and my King, I will follow you. Lead me where you wish me to go. Thank you for loving me and for your mercy and forgiveness of all my failures. I so wish to be pleasing to you, my Lord. Thank you also for healing the wounds of my heart that I might set them aside on this journey. Even though they factored hugely in my dissatisfaction with my job, you healed them so they did not factor in my resignation. I love you.