Being Tested

"Test me, O God, and knw my thoughts; see whether I step in the wrong path, and guide me along the everlasting way."--Psalm 139:23-24

When I first read this antiphon this morning, I was at first stricken with panic. What if I should be tested and fail? Oh, the thought caused me horrific pain as I realized that I do fail the Lord almost daily and that as I am tested, I increasingly come up short.

But then I continued to read and was again reassured by the infinite mercy of my God. How grateful I am that God has chosen me to be one of his children. Thank you, Lord, for choosing me and for granting me the graces and mercies I need to find favor with you. I know that on my own, I fail the test miserably, but blessed with your grace and mercy, I can find favor with you. Thank you.

Lord, help me to find my way into your heart that I might be nourished and comforted there and once sustained by your love, find my way to share your magnificence with others. Thank you, Lord for loving me.

I do love you and cherish you, my child. I have chosen you to do work for me that no one else can do. Do not be afraid of anything, even the testing. For all my tools must be tested that they might not fail when most needed. It is in the testing that you are made better and better until at last you are an apt tool for the work I have chosen for you.

Now, begin your classes and I will be with you to help you. I love you. Do not fear.