Joys of Communion

A number of years ago, I thought I knew who was speaking to me in the depths of my heart, only it was not the Lord.
I mean, I knew that God was there and that the reason I could have these terrific "heart to heart" conversations with my friend was because of God living in my heart.
But it took me years to realize that it was actually God with whom I was speaking.
When I thought it was my friend, I was filled with an excitement that is beyond description. It seemed like such a wonderful gift that God had granted to the two of us. You would think that such a gift coming from God would also fill my heart with joy and wonder and it did.
Later, when the friendship between myself and another waned, it seemed to me that the gift of a heart to heart conversation did, too.
Yet, yesterday as I was preparing for Mass, I mentioned to the Lord that in years past, I had been filled with such joy at the thought of sharing Communion in Him with my friend. I used to try to work it out that we would receive Communion together, side by side.
It was something that would have filled me with joy. Yesterday, we did receive Communion side by side. Without any "working it out" on my part.
At the time, I didn't appreciate it because I had become lightheaded and was focused on staying upright. Yet, the Lord arranged such an event for me.
Perhaps as a reminder that such joy is possible again.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of joy in the past and as a reminder that such joys are possible again.
Let me be ever more focused on You so that I shan't miss the opportunity to find You in my friends and the people of my faith community.
Today's photo is of some deer.

Argument and debate

I told my cousin that I no longer want to debate or discuss issues on which we disagree.
We have had long running discussions on our beliefs over the course of the past few years.
At first, I thought she might be open to hearing about God and my beliefs. But she isn't and I grew tired of her endless tirades against my church and my God.
Her negative thoughts have worn me out. I love her and desire that her soul be saved, even if she doesn't.
But, I cannot continue to listen to her.
May God have mercy on me for failing to bring her around. May he have mercy on her and grant her salvation.
Today's photo is of ths Holy Family statuary in our church.

Mama goose

Today's photo is of a nesting mama goose. She has built her nest in the middle of the river on a gravel bar island.
Whether her nest will survive until the goslings are born will be determined as each day passes. The place where she resides can and usually is underwater once the spring runoff starts.
Today she ran off another goose pair who happened to venture too close to her nest. The noise was fearsome as she defended her "turf."
Mother geese are incredible. There are many (former) eagle's nests that are now home to geese because the mama goose was able to run off the eagle inhabitants.
I imagine the eagle nest seems huge,  quite comfy and a safe haven in which to sit upon her brood of eggs.
Thank you, Lord, for the wonders of nature that I am blessed to  have surrounding me.

Warm potato mush

A couple of lingering thoughts from tonight's Stations of the Cross:
Falling flat on your face because instead of letting God help, we try to do it on our own.
The difference between pain and suffering. Suffering is uniquely human.
Embarrassed and a little angry about the soup offering Pat made. I don't know why she took it in so early, and left it on high. What we ended up with was warm potato mush, no soup, and the potatoes had cooked down so much there wasn't much left. Every body got a small spoonful.
The offering made me think of how my offerings must look to the Lord when done in haste or half-assed.
Actually, it's exactly how my own paltry offerings must appear to God when I don't want to spend the time to do the offering with my full heart and soul.
So, forgive me Lord, for not taking my own commitments to you more seriously and ending up with warm potato mush as the offering instead of clam chowder.
Please help me to remember this the next time I am tempted to skimp out on what should be the most generous and wonderful blessing I can give.
Forgive me for my judgement of another's offering and also for failing to offer you the best I can offer.
You are My Lord. Every thing I offer to you should be the best I have, not the left over moments of time I have remaining after having given the world it's coin.
Today's photo is the nails and cross. This banner is currently hanging on the altar at my church.

Prayers and more prayers

I don't have anything to say today.
I pray still for the families of those lost yesterday and today.
You died, my Lord, that we might have life and have it to the full.
I pray for those who think they have no choice but to take life, their own or someone else's.
Have mercy on us, Lord. Have mercy.
Today's photo is of clouds and sky.

The Shooting

Today, while en route to Casper, our son called us to tell us he was ok after the shooting.
Chills ran up and down my spine.
Being on the road, we hadn't heard about the shooting. A soldier opened fire on fellow soldiers, killing three and wounding 14 before killing himself.
I think we are so blessed to have Jesus, Mary, angels and saints watching over us and taking care of our loved ones.
I pray for the victims of the shooter, the shooter and the families and friends of those affected.
Lord, please have mercy on all those affected by this tragedy.
Thank you so much for taking care of my son, even when I don't know he is in need of protection. You know and keep him safe and I love you for that.
Today's photo is what my yard looked like this morning.  Our April showers are white.

Stuck

I seem to have hit a wall in regards to my Lenten observances.
When I so wanted  to offer a good and beautiful sacrifice to the Lord in praise and thanksgiving for His dying for me, I have botched the whole thing.
And then there is the consecration I made to Blessed Mother. It should be transforming my life and yet I feel that nothing has changed.
So, I am doing something wrong. Please help me, Lord, to know what I need to do to find favor with you once again.
My sweet child. Your heart is in the right place, even if you poorly execute your best intentions.  Do not think that my Son or I ever give up on you. We do not. You have much to learn about obedience and discipline.
Keep working on becoming more obedient and more disciplined as you thank and praise.
All will be well. Trust me and trust my Son. We both love you deeply snd tenderly. We desire that you should reach perfection.
Today's photo is of cloud cover on Kennaday Peak.

True friends

I have always considered myself to be a true friend to those people I call my friends.
It hurts when they don't reciprocate. Or maybe their definition of being a true friend is different. I don't know, but I do know that the pain I feel being "betrayed"by a "true friend"is some kind of awful.
This has always been a sure way for me to identify with Christ, for He, too, was betrayed by friends.
Judas, of course. But also by Peter who denied even knowing Him.
I wonder if much of the agony He felt was from knowing He would experience this essential rejection of everything for which He had lived His life. By people who loved Him and whom He loved.
I am not the best person in the world and I do have many faults and failings.
Yet, I ask Jesus and His Blessed Mother to pray for me that I might forgive those who have injured me by betrayal. People whom I considered to be my friends,  but who hurt me by not being the friend I needed.
I guess maybe I need to be granted the grace to love them for who they are and not feel betrayed when they don't meet that need.
Today's photo is of Vedauwoo.

Still down

I am still not feeling well, so I don't have anything to share.
I offer my illness up for anyone who is sick. Please, dear Lord, exchange my illness for health for someone in need today.
Thank you.
Another photo of Vedauwoo.

Being Sick

Being ill looks a lot different from the inside than it does from the outside.
I wasn't as sympathetic to my little grand darlin's as I should have been this week when they complained about how bad they felt.
May the Good Lord remind me of how very badly I feel today the next time I am tempted to dismiss the symptoms of another who is ill.
Today's photo is of the very cool rock formations at Vedauwoo National Recreation Area. I took it after I had met my son for the kid swap and before my symptoms became full blown flu.

Anger

I don't know what it is about neediness that brings out the bully in me.
But, tonight I realized that I can be and therefore am a bully.
Lord, have mercy on me for this horrendous trait.
Blessed Mother, please pray for me that I might overcome this terrible trait.
Please ask our Lord, your most holy and merciful Son, to pour out blessings of love and kindness on those towards whom I direct my bullying.
Because I have asked for and received an exchange of Hearts and minds and wills with Blessed Mother, I ask that you heal the wounds I have inflicted by such smallness and meanness of spirit towards those whom I love the most.
Please grant to me the graces I need to become a more loving and kind and merciful person.
Today's photo is of clouds hovering over the mountains while a brisk breeze blows across the water.

Taking time to pray

I have been using my grandchildren's visit as an excuse to not keep to my daily prayer regimen.
And to forget the penitenial nature of the Lenten season.
I find myself falling backwards into the zombie like state of mind/being where I don't accomplish my daily duties, but sit before the television, being blasted by the voices of evil emanating from that box.
Even worse, I allow the grandkids to also be exposed to it. My children learned to sit before the tv from me and have passed it along to their children. What an awful legacy I have given to them.
Even as I write this, I allow myself to be inundated by the noise, the immoral plots and themes of what I try to justify as entertainment.
Lord, have mercy on me and on my children and grandchildren. Please bless them with the graces to break this unhealthy behavior. Unhealthy for the soul, that is.
Blessed Mother, I surrender this behavior to you and ask that you exchange it for a holier behavior that is much healthier for body and soul.
Today's photo is of my oldest grandson fishing on a cold, blustery spring day.

Enjoying the Day

Today we are enjoying the outdoors with our grandchildren.
We are blessed to be able to spend time with them, although it has disrupted my prayer schedule.
I have surrendered the week to the Lord and Mary, though, and hope they realize my offering of the day and our activities is the prayer.
I am trying to keep my calm and peace even when the little darlin's test my patience. :-D
Anyway,  we are blessed to be able to spend some time showing them how to fish. So many children these days have no experience of the outdoors. My grandchildren, too, spend too much time inside when they are home.  City living is so different than small town rural living, where kids can play outside, using their imaginations to create forts or ride their bikes to the park. In the cities where they live, they spend their time safe inside, but exposed to the violence of television and video games.
The weather today would be considered by some to be brutal.
Fortunately, we are basking in the sun, sheltered from the wind by a solid row of willows.
It roars as it passes overhead and once in a while, it sneaks up and changes direction giving us a "refreshing" blast of cool air. It reminds us that but for the willow windbreak, it would leave us as clean as the sun-bleached, wind-scoured bones of creatures who succumbed to winter. 
When the wind blows clouds in front of the sun, the temperature drops noticeably, however. Undoubtedly, a spring squall is moving through.
Patches of blue  run across the sky, surrounded by mean gray clouds.
Thank you, Lord for all your blessings.
A photo of the clouds today.

Surrendering All

Today I made an Act of Consecration to our Blessed Mother.
I wrote it down and signed it and dated it.
I hope to surrender each day to Mary and to rejoice in the love she and the whole heavenly retinue have for me.
I give you everything, Blessed Mother, especially today my love for my country.
I pray that you will influence the US Supreme Court to act in accordance with God's will in the matter of the individual mandate.
Thank you for your blessings today.
Help me to live my consecration more fully each day.
Today's photo is fishing with the grandchildren.

Vigil of the Assumption

Today is the vigil of the Assumption and the night before my Marian consecration.
I have my grandchildren with me today and will have them tomorrow.
Because it will be hectic and not a calm and meditative type of day, I take the time tonight to ask Mary to exchange my faulty heart for hers and to ask that on the day of Consecration, she comes with us as we share in family outings.
Blessed Mother, I know I have let you down and disappointed you and your most holy and perfect Son.
Still, please pray with me for forgiveness for my faults and failings. Ask Jesus to love us all in spite of those things that are disappointing and sinful.
Help us to trust in His mercy and love.
Today's photo is of Elk Mountain, from the east, looking westward.

Blessings

We have our grandchildren with us this week for their spring break.
They are so full of life and are such a joy. Admittedly, they are full of energy and fun. They keep us hopping and it's only after they leave thay we feel exhausted.  LOL.
We are blessed to have six grandchildren so far.  Four if them are with us this week. We don't get to see them as much as we would like, so we take full advantage of the chances we do get.
In preparation for my Marian consecration on Tuesday, March 25, I have been meditating on the love Mary has for each of her children.
Undoubtedly, this includes grandchildren as well. I will share mine with her, as I share my children and other family members.
Oh, Blessed Mother. I place in your most Immaculate Heart the love I have for my children and grandchildren.  I know that you will keep them deep in your heart of love.
Please help me to guide them to Your Son that they might partake of the salvation He purchased for them with His life.
A photo of my four youngest grandchildren, enjoying a swim in the pool.

Mercy

Oh, my Lord! I am in need of your mercy.
Today, during a heart to heart conversation. I heard you tell me that television is a way that evil enters my life.
And yet, when I got home and my husband had it on,  I sat down and began watching it.
Thoughtlessly. At first, any way. Then, I was reminded of our earlier conversation.
You would think that I would immediately turn it off.
But, I didn't.  I am addicted to watching certain shows.
I need your help in overcoming this addiction, my Lord and God. I turn it over to our Blessed Mother so that she can exchange it for something much more edifying to me and for you.
Thank you, my Lord and God for your mercy and your help.
Today's photo is of a low lying photo on the mountains.

Lapses

I don't know why I can seem to do well in regards to Lenten sacrifice, and then think I deserve a reward for doing well.
I have blown my sacrifices tonight after doing well with my fast.
I have relapsed back into old habits and choices.
Forgive me, Lord.
And now I feel physically ill. I am also spiritually ill.
Please help me, Lord, and have mercy on me.

My spiritual director/friend

Today I met once again with a friend whose relationship with me is primarily spiritual.
We have come slowly to the place where we could share our spiritual thoughts and experiences.
In my younger years, I could become quite annoyed with her. I am sure that I was just as annoying to her as she was to me. I have discovered that those kinds if things are usually mutual, even though I do not consider myself to be annoying. (Huge eye roll.)
At any rate, as the years have passed by and we both have mellowed with age and are no doubt tempered by wisdom, we have become spiritual sisters.
We can enjoy a spiritual discussion without having to be "right" in our point of view. Indeed, I have found that the person I used to find so annoying actually is quite deep spiritually and has some astute insights.
I consider this to be a gift from the Lord, or perhaps Blessed Mother or maybe both.
That they could arrange that my friend and I could meet at a certain point on the journey is remarkable. The journey that I began when I viewed it from atop the mountain and that looks so different when faced up close.
That our hearts and minds are so similar and that we both thirst for a deeper relationship, with God and with each other, is nothing less than miraculous.
Thank you, my Lord and thank you blessed mother, for giving me spiritual direction. I wouldn't have thought of this person as a spiritual director, but I see the wisdom of your choice.
Thank you and praise you.
Today's photo is of the mountains to the east of my town, covered in snow.

Feast of St. Joseph

Dear Lord,
I thank you so much for the gift of twin sons who were born on the Feast of St. Joseph.
Although I was Catholic at the time, I was a fairly recent convert and hadn't yet made the acquaintance of many of the saints. I knew what almost every one with even a minimal knowledge of the Bible knew about St. Joseph. He was the husband of Mary and foster father to our Lord. He was a carpenter and passed along his knowledge of carpentry to his son, Jesus.
It was only later, as I grew in my Catholic faith, that I came to a deeper appreciation of St. Joseph.
He appeals to me because  he reminds me of my own father: kind, generous and loving, albeit very human. As such, he is prone to the same faults and failings as the rest of us.
I have lately come to realize that God entrusted His most beloved--His Son Jesus and Mary--into the care of St. Joseph. Entrusted His entire plan for salvation into the human hands of Joseph and Mary. Because St. Joseph was human, he could have betrayed the Father's plan by nothing more than delayed obedience.
Something as understandable as, "Ok, Gabriel, we'll leave for Egypt first thing in the morning. "
And yet, he instantly obeyed and saved the lives of Jesus and Mary.
It is said by those more knowledgeable than I that any request asked of St.  Joseph is granted. He holds a high place in heaven and in our Lord's heart.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of St. Joseph.
St. Joseph, I ask you to intercede with the Lord for the protection and blessings of my family, especially today, on their birthday party,  my sons. I pray that they might become like you in all things, especially in devotion to Jesus through Mary.
I pray that you will ask the Lord to grace me with the gift of instant obedience, as well.
Thank you, Lord and St. Joseph.
Today's photo is of cactus that can be found almost anywhere.

Rod of Discipline

There is a story about a man who uses a rod with which to  threaten a child so the child will do as the man wants.
The man doesn't ever have to use the rod on the child, but he does brandish it occasionally when the child needs reminded that he/she isn't doing what has been asked.
The story proceeds and at the end asks if perhaps the sufferings and trying situations in which we find ourselves are in reality God's "rod."
As I ponder that, I wonder if it is true for my sons, who are both undergoing some trying times.
It is also possible that the trying times are in answer to my prayers for their salvation. Only those who have need of the Savior seek Him. Is the only way to get through to them through suffering?
Sometimes, I wonder if the Lord allows our choices so that we will find our way back to Him, when things don't work out the way we thought they would. At least, I know that it has some times worked out for me that way.
Or maybe He just takes the mess we have made of things and makes something good and beautiful and holy come out of it. I know He has also done this in my life.
I thank you, Lord, for the gift of my sons who will celebrate their birthdays tomorrow, on the Solemnity of St. Joseph.
I  also ask the intercession of St. Joseph in helping them through the trying times they are undergoing at this time.
Thank you, Lord, for all your blessings. You are My Lord and My God. I give my life to you, anew.
I liked the light and shadow  in today's photo.

Early Memory

I am not sure where this memory came from, but one of my earliest is that I seem to recall "being" before I actually was a human being.
I am in "space"  and assignments were being handed out. I don't remember my assignment, but I do remember that I didn't want to go where I was sent.
It wasn't "where the action was," so to speak. I was being sent to some insignificant backwater while important things were happening elsewhere.
My family tells me that I cried for the first two years of my life. I often wonder if it was in protest at being sent to some place I didn't want to go?
I love living here now, and I love my family although I had to learn to love the small town.
There is so much that I wish I had better appreciated when I had the chance. And there is so much I wish I had done differently, done better.
Somehow, the being in "space" is part of the journey that I have described earlier. How it all ties together, I am not yet sure. I just know that I will need forgiveness for the things I did poorly and badly as well as for the things I didn't do at all.
Lord, please guide me and enlighten me as I continue this journey so that I don't continue to make the same mistakes.
Today's photo is of the river.

Friendship and Discipline

From this evening's reading in the Liturgy of the Hours: "What I do is discipline my own body and master it, for fear that after having preached to others I myself should be rejected." 1Corinthians 9:27
Dear Lord, please grant to me the grace of self discipline that I might truly discipline myself. I could not stand to be rejected by you.
Thank you also for true friends.
Please help me to forgive those friends who are less than true, who remember not their friends when the situation changes.
Please help me also to be a true friend and forgive me for the times when I have been less than true, to You and to others.
This picture is of flowers given to me by one of my true friends, nearly two weeks ago.  Yet the blooms are still beautiful.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of the Liturgy of the Hours.

Trusting Mary

I read today that God the Father was the first to totally entrust Himself, His dreams, plans and even His Son to Mary.
It helped me to glimpse how and why I should follow His example and totally entrust myself to Mary who is simultaneously the Daughter, Spouse and Mother of God. What a wonderful thought.
Lord, I must also ask your blessings for my friend Pat.
She was angry with me tonight because of my cough. Or something. She is so desperate to always be going somewhere.  Please help me to understand her and to be patient with her.
And give me your wisdom and patience when dealing with her and my atheist cousin.
Forgive me when I am self righteous. I pray the Jesus prayer:  Lord Jesus Christ,  have mercy on me, a sinner.
Today's photo is ducks on the water.

Bad days

I had a bad day yesterday after I partook of something that I should no longer have tried.

Once I had lost my willpower,  I just kept going and going, over indulging to an extreme excess.

Today, I committed to fasting and did better. I pray for your forgiveness, my Lord and God, for the excesses I allowed myself yesterday.

I am also not very good at fasting, yet. I hope that "practice makes perfect," and that I will be granted the grace necessary to fast acceptably in the future.

Walking through the countryside, the wilderness towards the Lord is fraught  with dangers that look enticing and appealing from afar.

In all things, I need to remember that the Lord is good and merciful, eager to forgive my transgressions.

And I also need to remember that satan delights in pulling me away from the sure path that leads to the Lord.
His deceptions look sweet, but are deadly.

Lord, thank you for your many blessings. Please grant me discernment that I might recognize how hurtful it is to you when I stray off the path that leads towards you. And also please grant the grace to hold tightly to my fasts and prayer time.

Open water

A Call to Generosity

We have been without a functional heater for almost a week.
We had a weird "thundersnow storm" about a month ago, resulting in some bizarre power surges. They played havoc with appliances, including the electronic igniter in our heater.
We have struggled with repair people who didn't actually repair the heater and getting the right parts,  etc.
We are fortunate to be going through a fairly mild weather spell at the moment.  We also have small space heaters we could move from place to place to take off the chill.
It has made me be so appreciative of the many conveniences we are fortunate enough to have in our country. Heat being among those things that we expect to work at the "flip of a switch," so to speak.
As I was whining about going with minimal heat,  I felt compassion and sympathy for people who live their lives without knowing if they will have heat. Or water. Or food.
I am so blessed to live in the place I do.  Thank you, Lord!
I read a reflection today on "giving to all who ask." The author suggested (as part of a Lenten sacrifice) giving something to ALL of the people who ask. A call to action, because it's not enough to feel compassion and sympathy. I need to act on those feelings.
Giving something to everyone who asks struck me as absurd at first. I must be on every Catholic charitable organization list in the country. Give something to each of them?
But, as I have been considering the richness of my life, I have come to see that challenge as the same one Christ issued to the "rich young man" who turned away when Christ told him to give away all he had and to "Come, follow me."
I didn't even realize until writing it, but that IS what Christ is calling me to do.
Not give away all I have. Well, at least not yet.  But He is calling me to "Give something to everyone who asks."
Oh my. This is going to be a leap of faith. Lord, please help me to give of my many blessings to those in need, according to your will.
AMEN and thank you, especially for heat and hot running water.
Thank you also for teaching me how to fast.I had a more penitent fast day  today and I hope to improve on it the next time.

Gluttony gets me again

I thought I was doing well today in my Lenten observances.

I spent most of the morning either in prayer or spiritual readings.

I have a "Liturgy of the Hours" book that I have tried twice before to make a daily habit. It has never worked out for some reason or another.

Yet, this Lent I felt called to find it and begin praying with the universal church.
I am finding it easier than ever before. 

I am also preparing for Marian consecration on March 25, the Assumption.

I have Lenten meditations coming directly to my email.
I went to Mass and thought that I was making pretty good progress in my journey through Lent.

Then, after I got home from a luncheon date with my husband, I couldn't stop snacking.  It was gluttonous.

I am ashamed that I experienced such a binge of non discipline.

How am I ever going to make it through fasting when I displayed such lack of control?

Oh my Lord! Was it because I was so busy patting myself on my back for my prayerful morning that I opened myself up to attack? I was being prideful.

Forgive me, my Lord for all my follies.

Help me to receive the gifts you want to share with me.
Help me to open myself to interior prayer.

Lord, help me to be who you want me to be.

Heart to Heart conversations

I have been remembering spiritual places I have been.
It seems like a travel-log of the journey I undertook and described yesterday.

As I headed down from the lofty heights from which I viewed my far-off destination, I began to experience God in different manifestations.

One day it struck me that the silent conversations with no one in particular that I was having were truly  heart-to-heart conversations!

Oh!

The wonder of that knowledge literally dropped me to my knees and I was filled with such joy.

The thought that such a thing was possible filled me with incomparable delight!

I wanted to run and share such delightful news immediately with the one with whom I thought I was conversing.

I recognized God as part of it, but I thought the conversation with another's heart was actually being held with a person of my acquaintance. God had gifted me with the ability to speak with another person via our hearts, silently. Or so I thought at the time.

I have come to realize that it was actually the heart of God with whom my heart was speaking.

Let me repeat that. My heart was actually speaking to the heart of God.

Ok. Anyone who has experienced this would probably identify it as "interior prayer. "

It was so sweet, so sublime that I long to taste it again.

For as I continue on the journey, I sometimes wander into areas of dryness and drought, instead of the rich fertility I viewed from afar.

Don't get me wrong. The rich fertility is still there. I have just wandered into a dry patch and must continue on the way so that I can find the sweetness again.

For when I was truly having those heart to heart conversations I was experiencing life as lived to the full.

I have come to realize that getting there again will take discipline and obedience.

What was once gifted to me so freely now has to be earned.

Let me rephrase that. I think the gift is still there, but I must now delve a little deeper and work to increase my understanding if it.
I must discover what God wants me to do with such a wonderful gift.

Before, in my ignorance, I thought it was just for my pleasure.

I didn't have a spiritual director to guide me in the proper development of interior prayer.

Lord, please guide me as you will,  that I might reach the place you have selected for me.
Thank you for your many blessings.

Breadcrumbs

Today as I was taking my dog walking, white rocks seemed to catch my attention.
The thought occurred to me that they were like breadcrumbs leading me to my destination.
My destination. What is it? Where do I want to "end up?"
Years ago I used to have a vision of a fantastically beautiful valley.
I was up high, looking at a viewscape that was so wonderful, it still makes me catch my breath when I recall it.
A river wound through the mountains and I could see incredible distances.
The light was ambient, colorful.  Growth and health seemed to be everywhere. It was peaceful, but so alive I could almost taste it.
As I looked across the valley, I knew I had to journey through the place I was viewing. To get to a place where I was loved and cherished.
But traveling through it was going to be challenging and difficult.
Even though the beauty was astounding, the journey itself would test and try me.
Perhaps it could be likened to the journey of Jesus into the wilderness. Except that I have succumbed to temptations and failed those I love. Hurt them and failed them, just because I was human.
I am still on that journey, following the breadcrumbs left by Jesus as I make my way toward him.
He has healed the hurts and made right the failures. Thank you, Lord.
Lord, always let me recognize the signs you leave me so that I can find my way to you.

The Gift

Recently I experienced a deep hurt when my daughter rejected a gift I had selected for her.
It wasn't a valuable gift by any definition of the world valuable.
But I had chosen it with her and my granddaughter in mind.
So when she disparaged it to my husband in an offhand remark, I was deeply hurt.
She did take it home, but I think she immediately "re - gifted" it to the local thrift store.
I struggled with this hurt for several days.
At the same time, I am preparing myself for a consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
As I was wallowing in the hurt of my daughter's rejection of my gift, I was suddenly struck with the knowledge that I often treat the gifts of Mary just as my daughter had treated my gifts to her.
It was a deeply humbling moment.
Moreover, as I begged forgiveness of Mary, I found that I could easily forgive my daughter.
There are still twinges of pain regarding the hurt I experienced. I find myself reluctant to give any gifts to her again, fearing similar hurt.
Yet, I also love her deeply and want to be able to express my love to her, sometimes with gifts.
I think the next time I want to share something with her that I will ask the assistance of Blessed Mother.  She loves my daughter as she loves me and will be able to help me select a gift that my daughter will like.
She will also help me open myself up to the possibility of hurt and rejection, albeit unintended.
Thank you, Blessed Mother, for all the gifts you have given to me. Please help me to receive them in the same spirit in which you give them. Help me also to recognize them.
Thank you, Lord God, for the gift of Mary.
Today's photo is a gift of some rocks that I found in God's backyard, where I frequently walk and talk to him.

Thirst for Souls

Oh my Lord, I do want to draw closer and closer to you.
I have been preparing for Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
My preparation includes meditations from"33 Days to Morning Glory," by Michael E. Gaitley.
Today's entry was on Mother Teresa and her letter about a turning point in her life.
The words Jesus spoke from the cross resonated deeply with her.
"I thirst."
He thirsts for the souls of his Beloved Children. She also thirsted for them. The Lord graced her with such a thirst for them that she did mighty work throughout the world.
Yet thirst is an uncomfortable state. And Jesus thirsted from the Cross, where he was dying.
He loves us that much.
I, too, want that thirst for souls. I want to share in Jesus' love for His children and help draw them to Christ.
Lord, please take my paltry offering and use it how you will. I am yours.
The photo today is of the fresh snow on Elk Mountain.

A Special Monsignor

Today's Mass in a neighboring community was a little bitter sweet.
A priest who had served in my community years ago and has since been named a Monsignor officiated.
He is retired, but still serves the neighboring community by celebrating Mass when the current pastor has other duties.
Msgr was very special to myself and my friends.  We would gather in the rectory and share food and fellowship with him while he taught us about Christ and the Church. We were all so young..in our twenties while  he was probably in his 50s.
He was an immigrant from England who happened to find himself in a small Wyoming community. He had grown disillusioned with his life in an order..I don't recall which one...and had asked to be sent out as a Missionary. So he was sent to Wyoming.
My friends and I had always been somewhat amused that Wyoming was considered missionary duty. We didn't think it was like a third world country.
Yet many people who do not appreciate wide open spaces do so consider it.  We have since come to appreciate the many priests from throughout the world who come to our sparsely populated state and serve our communities.

Remembering all the good times was very sweet. Seeing how frail he has become was the bitter part.

Msgr is now bent with age and cannot stand throughout the Mass.  A special table that serves as an altar was set up in front of the regular altar where he could sit and celebrate Mass.
Extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist helped distribute communion to the faithful.
While his body was frail, his voice was still strong and distinctly British. His enunciation and pronunciation have always been, and still are, very precise and deliberate.
He has always taken such care while performing the consecration of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ.
He spoke the words of consecration with such deep passion and honor that it gave me "Jesus bumps."

How very blessed we are to have such fine men caring for our souls.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of priests.
I took a photo of this very fool cloud formation on the way home.
Thank you, Lord, for such sights.

Ash Wednesday, 2014

It is time once again to begin my Lenten journal.
This is something I have been doing, or attempting to do for years as a Lenten gift to the Lord.
Technology has enabled me to NOT have excuses for failing to get it done.
When I first began my Lenten journal, I was writing it out by hand. I have always wanted to include photos or a photo each day so I would take pictures to go with my musings. As I recall, my first attempts at this were with film and presented challenges that youngsters today cannot even imagine.
So the first thing that changed was digital photography. But I had to download them to my PC and then upload the chosen photos to my blog, etc. I didn't ever get a journal complete, from Ash Wednesday through Easter.
Writing today, I am using my phone to take photos and write the post in an email that I will send directly to my blog.
So, no more excuses!
I hope to present a complete photo journal of my Lenten journey to the Lord and His Blessed Mother this year.
I was able to get out and take a walk today and captured some moments on my camera.
I spent the day in quiet reflection and reading. I hope to make good on my other Lenten sacrifices this year, too. I am giving up television and sweets. I am also going to practice fasting twice a week. So, my journey should contain some tales of struggle and insights into overcoming temptations.
At least, that's the plan. The goal, of course, is getting closer to the heart of Christ.
A meditation today by Fr. Robert Barron says that love is "a concrete act on behalf of those in need--the hungry, the homeless, the lonely, the imprisoned, the forgotten.  It is the bearing of another's burden."
I need to find ways to bear the burden of someone in need. I need to let Christ shine through me.
Jesus, I give this day back to you. I managed to practice self - denial. I probably didn't do as well at it as you think I can, but I hope to get better with more "practice. "
I also need to get over some hurts in my heart that cause me to think ugly thoughts. I beg your forgiveness and mercy, my Lord.
The photo moment of the day is of the mountains to the east of my home. They are snow covered and the river tributary still has ice on it.

First Friday

It is the practice in my home parish to have Adoration on First Fridays,  after Mass.
Today, I had to be out of town and lamented to a friend that I would miss First Friday Adoration.
Oh, how wonderful the Lord rewards us when we try to meet Him.
I made the effort to attend Mass in the community where I was going to be, thinking how sweet it would be to receive our Lord, even if I couldn't be in Adoration.
Praise God for His most gracious bounty!
Not only does the community I am visiting also hold Adoration on First Fridays, anyone needing to receive the Anointing of the Sick was called forward.
God is so good!
I thank you and praise you, Lord. Not only for your gifts to me, but also just for the Gift of yourself for all in the world, that we might be redeemed and forgiven.

Obedience

The thing about being obedient, I have discovered, is that once you have committed to it, it becomes increasingly difficult to be disobedient.
One's conscience seems to "nag" (forgive the rather negative connotation) until one is even roused from sleep to be obedient.
Perhaps the rousing comes from one's Guardian Angel, who knows better than any living person, the cost of being disobedient.
Tonight I committed myself to write a blog post at least twice a week. I did so because I have felt that God is calling me to it.
I have put it off with some excuse or another since the beginning of the new year.
Tonight, while in the Presence of the Lord before the Holy Tabernacle, I heard the command to write loud and clear.
And still, I easily slipped into my "old routine" and almost didn't get it done.
After hearing the command, I said I would. I committed myself to being more obedient to the Lord, yet when I got home, it was the least of my concerns. Sadly. 
And now I have been roused from sleep by my Guardian Angel who knows how much of an insult to the Lord any further disobedience from me would be.
I thank you, my dear Guardian Angel, for not allowing me to ignore the commitment I made just hours ago.
Lord, please forgive me for not giving you more. Forgive me for allowing myself to slip back into a routine from which I have begged your help in overcoming. And still, I didn't give the best time of my evening to you. Forgive me and help me to be the person you want me to be.

Trust in A New Year

"Commit your way to the Lord and trust that He will act." ~ Psalm 37: 5
This was the scripture verse given to me by my confessor during an Advent Penance service.
I need to work more on trusting that once I have committed my way to the Lord, then He IS acting in me, through me and with me in all my daily duties.
As I begin to believe in this scripture verse, I pray that all my acts will become prayers as I offer up to God each little or big thing that I am doing or facing that day.
I must remember to consecrate each day to Him and then focus on that day,  not worrying about future days.  I must live the gift of the present day.
So, let me begin the New Year by trusting that God is indeed acting in my life by using everything I offer up to him.
Thank you, Lord.

God Waiting for Us

Snow covers the hills with a blanket of snow

"A voice says, "Cry out!"
I answer, "What shall I cry out?"
~Isaiah 40:6

The words from Isaiah today really made me stop and think. It is one of those Biblical readings that seems to be directed specifically at me.
So often it seems that when the Lord asks me to do something..."Cry out!" I am like the person in Isaiah who asks, "What shall I say?" Instead of being obedient, I have to query my Lord about the details. Maybe He just wants me to do something, anything.
As I have been pondering why I procrastinate so often about doing what I think God is calling me to do, I came across a meditation...and I am sorry that I did not remember to bookmark it so that I could link to it....that essentially said that while we make preparations and are waiting for the Lord's coming, He is also waiting for us to do His will.
It was an eye-opener for me because I hadn't thought that we must try God's patience with our endless pettiness and failures (procrastination??).
 He waits for us to show Him that we are making progress and improving the world where He has placed us. I have often thought that if I lived someplace else or had a better means, I could do so much more for my Lord. He knows me well. What He is saying to me is that it doesn't matter where I am or by what means I choose to do His will. What is important to Him is that I act, using the tools he has given me and saying whatever I am inspired to say by the indwelling Holy Spirit.
How often have I thought, especially in recent years, that God must surely be coming soon in order to save us from the increasing evil that seems to permeate our world. What I had not thought about, and what now gives me pause, is that perhaps He waits for me to do something in order that someone might be saved. Maybe in order that I might be saved.
It has certainly changed my perspective on why He hasn't already come to redeem this poor world. Maybe He is waiting for me to reach out to my neighbor or my friends and family and share with them the one thing that may turn them back to the Lord. Or for me to do the one charitable act that might be of great help to Him in redeeming the world. As I am waiting for Him to come into the world, or better phrased, as I wait to celebrate His Nativity and His coming among us to save us, He might be forestalling His Second Coming in order that my prayers for the salvation of  my family,  friends and acquaintances and even myself can be answered. He might be waiting for me to act, to do the one simple duty He has given me to do that I keep procrastinating about doing. Lord, have mercy on me and inspire me to do your will.

Waiting

The bird house hangs empty during the cold winter months

Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, Dec. 9, 2013

"Into her presence the angel came, and said, Hail, thou who art full of grace; the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women." ~ Luke 1:28

The time of waiting, once Mary had  made her Fiat! to the Angel Gabriel who had been sent to her to announce God's will, must have been one of joyful anticipation. How we can learn from her and strive to be more kind and more loving towards all with whom we come in contact. The time of Advent for me has become, instead of a joyful waiting time, one of procrastination. There is a huge difference between joyful waiting in anticipation and the procrastination I have let become a bad habit.
I put off doing so many things, including writing, that I then find myself harried and hurried to get done all the things I have obligated myself to and all of the things I need to be doing as part of my answer to Christ's call.

Dear Lord, please forgive me for all the times I have neglected your commands and your call to action and please grant to me the grace to live my life more fully and to become a more active participant in your will. A doer of your will, not a hearer only, as we heard in the recent Gospel reading. I do not wish to be one of those who will gnash their teeth in despair when they realize that they have been hearers only and not doers of your word and will.

Note: The Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception is celebrated on Dec. 8, except when that falls on a Sunday. It is then celebrated on the following Monday. This year, it was celebrated on Monday, Dec. 9, 2013.

Giving Small Gifts

In a commentary on today's readings, the author, Steve Givens,  says a friend once told him that he has nothing good enough to give to God.
Givens goes on to note that many people often feel the same way, that their gifts are insignificant and small and so they hesitate to offer them to the Lord.
Indeed,  that very sentiment is how I have often felt. I guess I have been unsure of what my gifts are and whether or not I am being called to use them for God.
That's why I have been trying to determine what my apostolate is. Question two is "what is my skill set?"
So, I have spent a lot of time looking for my apostolate in things that others are good at or get complimented on. My own gifts seem inadequate, so I have been trying to co-opt the skills or talents of others. That is one reason why it has seemed so difficult. ..because the talent or skills I am trying to use aren't my own.
Givens says the Gospel reading today also says it doesn't matter how small the gift. What matters is that you offer it to God and then pass on what He does with your offering, as in today's passing on of the loaves and fishes.
Thank you, Lord, for the gifts you have given me. Help me to use them according to Your will and for your glory.

Letter from La La Land

The open air World War II Memorial in Washington, DC

 "Wolf shall live at peace with lamb, leopard take its ease with kid; calf and lion and sheep in one dwelling-place, with a little child to herd them" ~ Isaiah 11:6 (Knox Translation Copyright © 2013 Westminster Diocese)

I received today an "annual letter" put out by one of my relatives at this time of the year.
Written following the best form of "Christmas Letters," she never refers to it as a Christmas letter because she either doesn't believe in Christ or fears to offend those of her friends who don't believe.
Yet she finds some kind of comfort in sharing the details of her life with her family and friends during this season. It's similar to those weird stories I have seen lately about "Atheist Churches." Places for those people who have no faith or belief in God to gather and tell feel good stories to one another about all their accomplishments. From what I have read, these "churches" are not places of worship, but places nonetheless where folk of like mind and heart can gather to share in fellowship and food, if nothing else. Although, it probably could be debated as to whether they do worship themselves or the human mind, but I digress. That is a different story.

I have been stewing about my cousin's "annual letter" because of the following paragraph:

"Worse thing of the year? Worthless, meaningless, and idiotic government closure. Since we care for animals we, of course, worked while other government employees got paid to stay home. This is idiotic and it should be against the law for elected officials to close the government. It’s their job to make it run. I have absolutely no acceptance for this and all the negative ramifications it causes."

At first, I thought she was only miffed because she has what is an apparently "essential" government job and had to actually work during the brief government shutdown this past fall. That may very well be part of her problem with the shutdown. Her fellow government cronies got to stay home and eventually collected pay for the forced time off, but she had to work.
As I pondered it more and more...ok, worried it like a dog worries a bone, is a more apt description...I started to think I should respond to her letter and let her know what the "shutdown" looked like to someone who doesn't live in the Beltway surrounding DC. I thought about responding with snark as in the following:

"I'm not sure if you are angry because you didn't get to spend the shutdown sitting at home while getting paid, or because of the shutdown itself. My own thoughts on the issue run almost diametrically opposed to yours, but that should be no surprise to you. The question that comes immediately to mind is that if these personnel are "non-essential" then why do they have (government) jobs at all? No one seems to be able to answer that question.

My second thought is (as you are probably aware), the problem is that the Senate hasn't passed a budget in over three years. That's why we have to have continuing resolutions in order to fund the government....because the Senate has steadfastly refused, under the leadership of Harry Reid, to even bring a budget to the floor for discussion or negotiation, much less a vote." 

 

Then I let it rest for awhile, but it keeps bugging me. Should I perhaps make light of it, by telling her how comical it was to hear her grousing about all the supposedly negative ramifications to this shutdown when the DC ruling elite had to barricade open-air memorials and parking lots in order to inconvenience tourists enough that they might share the outrage? Because, quite frankly, the impact was minimal in my neck of the woods. Granted, the long arm of the federal government did attempt to make an impact on ordinary citizens, but most of us just went about our business, working around the inconveniences. Or, as the World War II vets so powerfully showed us, pushed right through the inconveniences (barricades) and visited the "open 24/7 year-round" Memorial dedicated to them.

 

The thing is, I want to rattle her cage a little bit...let her know that just because she breathes the air in Liberal La La Land and thinks the sun rises and sets with huge centralized government, there are a lot of folks who happen to think that those "non-essential bureaucrats" should maybe look for work in the private sector. Or that at least having the elected officials shut down the government leaves us with an option...to vote them out or attempt to vote them out, if we don't like their decisions. We have no such recourse with unelected bureaucrats, whom we apparently have to pay even if they don't work and whom we may not even be able to fire. Ever. That is much more troublesome to me than elected officials making a decision with which I may not agree. 

 

In the course of all this mental ranting, I kept hearing that "still small voice" that is the voice of my Lord. He is telling me to let it go, to be charitable and generous in my response to her "annual letter." He is telling me I should focus on the rest of her letter...the parts about her life, the travels she's undertaken this past year and the loved ones she's lost (pets, no people) and her plans for the future.

 

Maybe that's why I have been stewing about it, worrying it like a dog bone. Because my first inclination is not to be charitable and generous, but to start an argument or issue a snarky response. He's asking me to be bigger and better than my pitiful self and also to be obedient to His will. It's hard because I want her to know I do not agree with her, but I also want to show her the best of what it means to be a Catholic Christian, especially at this time of year, when we are making preparations in our hearts for His Coming. I want her to feel the "peace that passes all understanding," when/if she comes to know the Lord. And I want her to trust in Jesus Christ and not the federal government.

That probably won't happen if I respond to her letter as I want to respond and not as God is calling me to respond.

So, I am choosing to be obedient to God's will. I will forbear and be charitable and generous when I respond to her "annual letter"... with my greetings via a Christmas card portraying the Nativity. :-)

I am already feeling joyful about evangelizing the way God wants me to do it. 

"Justice shall flower in his days, and profound peace, till the moon be no more." ~ Psalm 72:7 (The Word Among Us, Mass readings for 12-3-2013)

Advent...A New Beginning

Winter Snow makes the red rocks seem vibrant

"Come and save us, Lord our God; let your face shine upon us, that we may be saved."  ~ Psalm 80:4

When I got around to checking on this blog, I was shocked to see how long it had been since I had last written a post. This blog and the posting on it are what I believe the Lord is calling me to, even if no one else ever reads my musings.
So, when praying about what I should do to prepare the way for Christmas and the Coming of the Lord into my heart again, I was led to review my blog. The Lord definitely wants me to use my skills to write a blog. I don't feel particularly skilled or think that I have things worthwhile to say, but He keeps calling me back to it, so He must see something in me that I have been ignoring. So, here we go again.

All this deep introspection has been because of a podcast I listened to on how to determine my apostolate. There were five questions and the first one was "What things do people compliment you on?" So, as I was praying about this and pondering what things I have been complimented on, I was once again brought back to writing and photography. The point of the first question is that if you are good at something...the example used was cooking and that is definitely not one of my skills :-)...then that may be something that the Lord is using as a way to reach people. If, the example goes on, I am good at cooking, then perhaps that skill (question number two, which I will address tomorrow) may be what God wants me to use to reach out to people and evangelize them. I think the point of the podcast is to help us realize that the "E" word (evangelization) doesn't have to be something scary or something that we are reluctant to do. Going door to door to share my faith is not something which would ever come easily to me. However, reaching out by writing is something that has always come easily...more easily than speaking, in fact. It also brings me to my other Advent offering.

An Advent Angel

It has been a custom of our local women's group to anonymously give Advent gifts to someone in our parish family. It's just a way of reaching out to them and letting them know that they are loved and cared for, not only by the "Advent Angel" but by God, who has called a person to give something of themselves to the person(s) of their choice. As a group, we draw names from among those who are attending our meetings, but the group won't meet this year until the third week of Advent, so I felt called to reach out to a couple at the beginning of Advent. The couple the Lord chose for me is a couple a little older than myself and they are facing the challenge of a serious health condition for which there seems to be no remedy. But, as we all know, God has remedies in mind of which the world knows nothing. So, it is my hope and prayer that my reaching out to this couple will enable them to accept God's will and that God will also bless them with a miracle of His choosing. This week, I have sent them a card with some simple bookmarks enclosed. Each week in Advent, I will give them something until Christmas. The ultimate gift, of course, is Christ and as He gives Himself for the Life of the World, perhaps I can give them Christ in the Eucharist by giving as the final present a gift of Masses for them.

The Privilege of Discipleship

Muddy Creek Canyon from across the way

"But blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear." -- Matthew 13:16
The Susan G. Komen Foundation, dedicated to breast cancer research and prevention, recently changed their policy so that the money they grant will go to actual providers of mammograms and not third party referral services, such as Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood also happens to be under investigation in a number of states and that also played into Komen's decision.
The response from Planned Parenthood and its supporters can best be described as rabidly Pavlovian, a response designed strictly to intimidate and frighten any of Planned Parenthood's other sponsors from also cutting funding to the organization, whose primary business is abortion. The hierarchy of the Planned Parenthood organization knows exactly what bells to ring to bring about the Pavlovian response desired...a besmirching of the Komen Foundation with baseless smears. It did have the desired effect, however, of increasing donations...far above what Komen actually grants to the organization, and that is what I believe the intent was all along. A cold and cynical decision by PP, in my mind.
That PP should use a policy decision made by Komen's board in the best interests of  women to raise funds by sounding false alarms, using fear and intimidation and other such tactics should, in itself, be ample justification for cutting ties with PP.
In pondering this, I come back once again to the thought that perhaps Christians truly do already live in the Kingdom, for we see things so differently from those who live in the world. That must be why there is such a dichotomy between God-fearing people and those to whom government or no one but themselves is "god."
It seems no matter what issue, there exists such a huge rift...a chasm of such depths that so often there is no "common ground." I have often wondered how those who differ in opinion from myself and other like minded people can not see the Truth. I have often tried to enlighten them, but they just do not see it. They see things from their worldview only and there is no bridging the chasm that separates their view from those of Christians and other God fearing people.
Is my view Truth? I always seek God's guidance when such issues come to the fore. Because I do not wish to mislead anyone,  I try to do much praying and reading to get the actual facts of the issues before me. I seek out the Truth taught by the Church which is the pillar of authority empowered by Christ to guide us in these matters.
It seems that the commonly held worldview by those who support abortion or the euphemistic phrase of "Women's Reproductive Health" is such that they just cannot conceive that any digression from their view can possibly be a good thing. Yet, God continues to guide me towards life and the sanctity of the unborn and I trust in Him.
So, do I continue to exhort and tell of what I believe to be God's view of things? Or do I leave them alone in the world, letting them be content to continue in the world?
Lord, give me your guidance and let me hear your words.

Ah, my sweet child, such things are hard for you and I do not intend them to be. I desire that all of my children be saved and that they choose to enter into the Kingdom prepared by My Father and redeemed by Me for those who love God. I told my followers that they must be "in the world, but not of the world," and you have come upon some inkling of what that means. Yes, there is a deep division. My children can see the world view that so misleads others who choose not to believe, but those who do not believe cannot see into the Kingdom. They are blind. I saw it while on earth and gave my Father thanks and praise for hiding the truth from the wise and the learned, but revealing it to the childlike. Belief is required to open the way...to bridge the chasm. If they choose not to believe, they choose not to cross into the Kingdom of Delights that I have prepared for those who do believe and love. It is a free will choice and all need to have the opportunity to choose their path.

Do I want you to continue to tell of the Good News? Yes, I do, even if they appear not to hear. You may be surprised that your words do resound across the way and I have empowered those words to reach  souls whom I am seeking. Do not be afraid of the attacks that will come. Of course you will be attacked by evil, whose sole desire is to delude as many souls as possible. You will be protected, guided and guarded. Always seek my guidance and wisdom before your exhortations, however, never thinking that you possess the wisdom within yourself to do combat. Arm yourself with prayer, the Word of God and faith as a shield and then go forth into the day, combating the forces that seek to destroy souls. My child, I love you. Go in peace.

Praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet

Peering through the window at the snow covered deck

I join with several others of my parish community to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet on the First Friday of the month. I'm sure they pray it by themselves in addition to us praying it together on the First Friday. I have good intentions of praying it daily, but sometimes get lost in the fog of busyness that I wander into. It is such a powerful weapon to use against the evils of our day and it takes such a short amount of time to pray it that I wonder why I don't make it more of a habit? It is nice to pray it with a group of friends, though, and committing to get together once a month seems like small sacrifice, especially in light of all that St. Faustina has done for us. We also discuss Sister Faustina's Diary and there is so much spiritual depth in that book that we do not advance much in our discussions of it, yet it seems like important progress is being made in our spiritual development.
Today, we discussed how we can ever make it to Heaven if even someone as obviously holy as Sister Faustina struggled.
Her struggles leave me feeling so unworthy and not humble as I read her thoughts and get a small glimpse of her generosity of spirit and love of the Lord. She suffers such agonies of the soul over things that I would not even think twice about. Nor, apparently did many of her sisters think twice about certain things, yet she suffered these agonies willingly for the redemption of souls and for love of Christ.
One of the things St. Faustina found necessary was a good spiritual director and I am feeling like I need one as well. I don't know how to go about getting one, though. One of the people at the prayer session today said she was assigned a spiritual director when she went to a Third Order Carmelite function.
Not being a Carmelite, however, I am at a loss and have decided to ask Blessed Mother to help me find the person who will be a good spiritual director for me.
I just realized that it was a year ago today that my mother suffered a massive heart attack and died unexpectedly. I miss her still and pray that she is in heaven, helping me to get there.
Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have bestowed upon me this day. Forgive me for the neglects of the day and help me to do better tomorrow. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.