Fighting Evil with Prayers and Fasts

Lakeside

"I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." --Phillippians 1:6

This is a good piece of news for me when I get discouraged about the progress I am making into the secret chambers of our Lord's heart. I sometimes forget that is was He who chose me and that he will complete the work he began in me when he first called me to him.

How I thank you, my Lord and my Friend, that you have called me and given me the grace to follow you, in spite of the times I have wandered away and you had to come and find me. How I thank you that you did come and find me and that you are going to complete the work you began in me. I often wonder how long that will take as I seem some days to take one step forward and two steps backwards.

We are coming down to the homestretch, now Lord, in our country's elections for new political leaders. So many people are now praying for a miracle. Every site I visit has people praying for an outcome not even discussed by all the major news outlets. I am joining my prayers and my fasting with the prayers of many of your people who are seeking a return to a moral country, one that doesn't kill innocent children.

As I have been perusing all these websites that are calling for prayers and novenas and rosaries, I remembered a scene from a novel I read...a science fiction work by Stephen R. Donaldson--the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. It is a trilogy and in the third book (the title escapes me at the present moment), one of the heroes, Lord Mhoram and his fellow Lords of the land are besieged in their Keep as the evil army of Lord Foul has the Keep surrounded. The head of this evil army--a raver--has kept his army at bay while he launches a supernatural attack upon the Keep. It takes Lord Mhoram some time to discover that the tactic behind this move is to undermine the courage and fortitude of the Keep's inhabitants. The evil is visceral and palpable as it inches through the ground towards the base rock of the sturdy Keep, making the inhabitants cringe with fear as it draws nearer. Once Lord Mhoram discovers the true purpose of this tactic he is able to put his strengths into nourishing the inhabitants and the Keep itself to stand against this unholy attack upon the heart and soul of the people of the Land and eventually the raver falls back, impotent against the good of the Land. It is a telling moment in the battle of good versus evil in this trilogy.

The reason it came to my mind is that it seems this is what we are now doing with all our prayers, novenas, rosaries, and fasting as we approach this election. We must stand fast against the evil that will befall our nation if we continue to elect candidates who disdain life from its earliest moments. As we draw nearer to this election date, we must put on the armor of God and do battle against the evil forces seeking to deceive the good people of this land. By our prayers, our novenas, our rosaries and our fasts.....weapons that the MSM scoffs at but which are so much more powerful than they can ever imagine.

Lord, please grant to us a victory at the polls. A miracle if that is what it takes. Let all good Christians come to the polls in our stand against evil. Let them not be deceived by the "news" that the election is all but over. Let them come out anyway, and vote for life. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, your Son and my Lord.

My dear sweet child--

Thank you for your prayers and for loving me as you do. You are precious to me and I love you. The battle is raging even as we speak. Yes, you must hold fast at this time with your prayers. It is my Spirit that has been hounding the people of your country to stand fast and take up the armor of God that the victory may be won. Do not fear. Continue to do all that you can do in this matter--pray, fast and continue your rosary. Do not fear. The outcome is in my hands and I am in control. Trust me in this and do not fear. Go in peace, sweet child. I love you.

The Small Stuff

My River Walk
This view is one I see almost daily when I take my dogs for their evening walk. The overall look varies, of course, depending on what season it is, but I seem to end up with quite a few photos of this particular stretch of river.
I meditate and talk with God alot on these excursions and I find it deeply satisfying. The dogs, of course, love it.

The meditation that appealed to me most today is one from "God Calling," a book I read daily. In it, the Lord admonishes the authors--"two prayers" to live for him in the small things. The phrase that struck me most is (paraphrased): "Men are willing to sacrifice in the big things...willing to die for me, but so often do not live for me in the little things."
That is something that I envision so often...me willing to make the "big sacrifice" when called upon..you know, something glorious and deeply moving and really BIG. And then I find myself cursing an inconsiderate driver or yelling at the dogs or my husband. Definitely not living for the Lord in the small things. I really need to work on that.
Lord, help me to live for you in the very small things of life...how I treat those people with whom I come in contact with on a daily basis so that when the time comes to make a big sacrifice for you, I am practiced enough not to fail.

Dear One--
You have grasped a very BIG truth here. If you practice living for me in the small things then you will be able to sacrifice all..even to being able and willing to die for me should the situation arise. Many who would die for me do not have the practiced skill of living for me in the small things and therefore do not succeed when actually called upon to make the big sacrifice. Know that I have heard your prayers and will bless you with the grace to live for me in the small things of your daily life.

Kindness as coin

Finding Joy in God's Glory

"Raise us beyond the limits this world imposes, so that we may be free to love as Christ teaches and find our joy in your glory."--from the Alternative opening prayer for today's Mass

A portion of today's first reading from Ephesians tells us to "be kind to each other," and a meditation I have been reading tells me that a marriage counselor often uses this scripture verse to counsel people in troubled marriages. How sad that we must be counseled to treat our spouses with kindness. It should be understood in our marriage vows that treating your spouse with kindness is part of the deal. I guess if that were understood, there would be less need for marriage counselors.

Why do we find it so difficult to love as Christ teaches? Isn't it the most awesome thing you have ever experienced? I guess for many the experience of love--true love--has not been experienced as taught by Christ. Instead we offer some lust filled episodes and wonder that so many marriages fail.

What an awesome prayer, dear Lord, asking that we rise above the limits of false teachings on love to be free to really and truly love as you have taught us. True love is so powerful and yet so seldom done. Lord, help me this day to treat my spouse kindly as you would treat him and to also experience love as you would have me experience it. Thank you for you many blessings and for your forgiveness of my many faults. Help me to continue to strive to become perfect as my heavenly father is perfect.

Precious one--Do not fear for all is well. I am teaching you to love more truly each day. Do not be afraid to be kind and loving. It is like investing in the future, except there will be no "market crashes" to destroy your investments. Each act of kindness and love is like coin deposited in a bank and will be there for you when you need to make a "withdrawal." All is well. Go in peace.

Love in a Sunset

The Love of God expressed in a Sunset

"I love you, Lord, my strength." --Psalm 18

The Psalm responsorial for today's Mass jumped out at me during my daily prayers. Father's homily about finding God's love in a sunset or a neighbor were particularly apt as well.
The photo was taken last night after Mass--I went on Saturday--and it seemed to me like an exclamation point to Father's homily.
God's love for us is all around us--truly it is in all aspects of nature that I love so well, in addition to being found in the people I love and cherish.
What is a little more difficult for me to grasp, but as true as his love in things which please me, is that his love is made manifest in people I don't love and cherish. I really need to work on seeing God in all things and people, especially people that I am not particularly fond of.
So, my dear Lord, my friend, my savior--I ask you this day to make me more open to seeing your love in all people and things and circumstances of my life. I have so many blessings to be thankful for and I do thank you for them. Please remind me when I am feeling less charitable than I am now that I need to see you in that grouchy man or woman who may need to experience you in me as much as I need to see you in them.
Also my dear friend, please bless Father John today and in the coming days as he faces a particularly daunting challenge in his life. He is a kind and loving person and I know you love him and are in him. Please help him through this difficult time that he may come through this challenge stronger and better able to love you and the people causing him such grief.
Thank you Lord for Jade. She has been an inspiration to me this past week and I suspect you brought us together for a reason. Help me to find that reason and to act according to your will regarding her. She is blessed by you, I can see that, and I admire that so much.
Thank you, Lord, for all your blessings.

My dear one--
Thank you for taking the time to listen to my still small voice in the midst of your busy life. You are precious to me for this time we share together. I do love you and guide you and guard you in all things. You must not fear to go forward, trusting that I am guiding you and leading you in the way I want you to go. You have many gifts that I have blessed you with and sometimes you do not always use these gifts. You have a tendency to want to hide them under a basket, so to speak, and I need for them to shine brightly so as to help my other children. There is nothing to fear. I will be with you always and giving you whatever you may need in any particular situation. So, go fearlessly into the future, sure of my love and companionship if you are sure of nothing else. You are a gift to me and I love you and cherish you. Do not disappoint me by hiding the gifts you have been given or the gift that you are to me. All is well, my sweet one. I love you.

The Rainbow's Promise

Rainbows and God's Promise
Finding this photo--taken four years ago---is just like seeing a rainbow. The promise that I feel whenever I see a rainbow is so uplifting to my heart and soul. I realize once again, when contemplating the beauty of a rainbow, how God will never again abandon us to death and destruction.
That thought, my Lord and my King, is so comforting to me as I again think of the upcoming election. While I have been praying over and over again--since June--a novena for your will to be accomplished this election, I grow fearful when I read news of polls and of the super majority Democrats in Congress are expected to have. My prayers, as you know, have been for pro-life candidates at all levels--local, state, national--to win. If everything I read is true, then my prayers are naive. But I refuse to believe such prayers are hopeless.
After reading such discouraging items, I have to remind myself that you led Moses to the very brink of the Red Sea before parting it before him. You have saved me on more than one occasion at the very last minute. I also remind myself that the people touting this news are people who want Obama to win and who want liberals to control Congress.
Or at least, they think that is what they want. I suspect many are completely ignorant of what a Democratic majority in congress and the White House will mean to our American and Christian way of life. I think that the people who will be in positions of power after this election will abuse that power.
There is truth to the saying, "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." I suspect that if one party controls all branches of our government that corruption will stink up this land.
The press doesn't realize how complicit in eroding our freedoms they have become. Truth is truth and unbiased is unbiased and press coverage of this election has been neither truthful nor unbiased.
I wonder if I should just stop reading all the "news" that so disturbs me.
Lord, forgive me for my failings and my faults. I wanted to fast today to empower my prayers even further but have not managed to do so. I will try again next week to improve my fasting. I so need to discipline myself in this area. Please give me the graces to accomplish your will in my life. Thank you for all your many blessings you have bestowed upon me. Thank you for allowing me to live in this wonderful place and in this time. Thank you for my family and friends. Pour your blessings out upon them. Most of all, sweet Jesus, thank you for dying for me. Never let me become so caught up in the happenings of this day that I forget your sacrifice for me. I thank you and praise you, my King. I love you.

Hello my sweet child--
You are right to remember my blessings upon you and upon your country. Do not fear for yourself or for your country. Remember that I am in control--even if events do not happen as you think they should. Remember that you do not know all. I do. You need to concern yourself with removing the plank from your own eye. Be not dismayed by your seeming lack of progress. Just remember to seek my blessing upon all you do in each day's happenstance. I am with you, guiding and guarding you. I do have work for you that only you can accomplish and you must ready yourself for the tasks I give to you. Do as I ask of you each day and you will make progress. Do not try to carry tomorrow's burdens. We will carry those--you and I, yoked together, when tomorrow comes. For today, concentrate on the little tasks I give to you. Do those tasks well and give me thanks and praise for all is well. I have already won the victory. Do not forget that. All is very well indeed.

Trusting in God

Great photo of elk

that my husband took several years ago while he was on patrol during hunting season. He gets to see shots like this all the time and so it's no wonder he likes to pull this duty. He patrols private property for an area ranch so keep trespassers out.

I'm still praying about the upcoming election and hoping that by some miracle of miracles, the pro-life candidates can win over the pro-choice candidates.

I know you have already won the victory over death, dear Lord, but I'm not sure what that means in terms of today...I mean will we have to undergo the trials expressed so eloquently in Revelation? Is the pro-choice candidate as evil as I am thinking he is or is he the answer to the problems we have in this day and age? I know he is no messiah but so many think of him as such and he does nothing to dispel this. That is why I think him to be evil...because I think it is part of a plan to elect himself and I fear for the future of our country. Can people really be so blind that they choose this candidate who has no experience and is so wishy-washy all the time and so arrogant.

Oh Lord, please help us. Have mercy on us and forgive us our tepidity. I sometimes wonder if this tepidity is the reason you will allow us to suffer the consequences of a pro-choice administration. Lord, have mercy.

My child--

You need not fear the outcome of the election. Know that I have all in my hands and that includes the leadership of your country. My will can be accomplished by whomever is in control of the government. Do you not believe that the hearts of kings are in my control? Know that, believe that and trust in me. Even if what you believe about this candidate is true and I do not say either way, know that my will is being accomplished. You have nothing to fear. Still, keep praying your rosary. My mother is fighting against this sin and crime and she wills as many people as possible to pray for the souls of the unborn.

Be at peace my sweet child. You are loved and cherished.

The Long View

The View Outside My Door

looks like this. As I sit looking out upon this majestic scene, I spend a lot of time thinking about the upcoming election. I wonder how many people who think Obama is the answer to all the world's problems realize how deceitful the man and his campaign are?

He lies about documented events and facts. The press is unwilling to call him on it. What will therefore happen to this country? Will any of the people he has duped, including or especially the press, ever admit they should have done a better job of investigating his statements and his past. No one in the press has investigated his college years and even though Stanley Kurtz is writing fast and furious about Obama's years with the Annenberg Challenge, the mainstream media doesn't cover it. The only people who read it are people who are already willing to challenge Obama's "messiah" status so there are no inroads being made there.

Don't these people realize what will happen if this man is elected to the Presidency of the United States? Perhaps it is God's way of allowing us "our king" as he did in Old Testament times when they wanted a king and the Lord told them, no they really didn't, but they insisted. I think it's in Chronicles, but I am not sure of that. Anyway, is this what is happening here? God is allowing the American people a chance to have the leader they think will lead them to the "promised land" so they will finally realize that no, he isn't what he claimed to be? Is that the only way to get back to a moral America? Must we descend into the pit of immorality and slime that must accompany anyone who is willing to lie about any and everything to get elected before we can have a return to the values and morals that this great country was founded upon?

Or is this candidate the Anti-Christ of Revelation? Has he sold his soul to the devil so that he can institute his socialist policies on America and destroy our military might?

I have been praying and will try to fast as well for pro-life candidates to win the elections in this country, but I am afraid that God is going to allow the evil to run rampant so that we might eventually have a return to Him.

If these are the end times, then Obama fits the model for the Anti-Christ of Revelation. And if that is true, then things are going to get worse, much worse, before they get better. I will keep praying, Lord, that the cloud of deceit that Satan has blanketed the earth with will be dispersed so that people might see the truth. I hope such a vision will come before the election.

But, then I remember that you have already won the victory that counts and you are the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. How I pity anyone who sets himself against you by claiming such titles for himself. Or in just not denying those acclamations from others.

Lord, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us. Forgive us our sins and transgressions against you, the Father, the Spirit, your mother and all the angels and saints. Forgive us, Lord and make us whole.

As an aside, know my dear Lord that I did write the lady I was concerned about yesterday although I did not mail the letter. It was enough for me at this juncture to write it out and then to let it go, trusting you to take that concern of my heart and do with it what you will. If I need to send it, please let me know. I also trust you, Lord, with the outcome of the election. I keep worrying over it like a dog worries a bone, but deep in my heart, Lord, I love you and trust you.

My Beloved Child--

You are so precious to me and so beautiful. How I love you and cherish you. Know that my will prevails in spite of all human attempts to manipulate it. Do not fear, my child. Trust me and listen to me and do not be afraid. Whatever happens is my will and you will know what I ask of you when it is time for action. Keep listening so that you may know when to act and how to act. Fear not. All is well.

Contemplating conflicts

Yesterday afternoon I had to contemplate my feelings about a lady I had contacted in regards to some volunteer work we both are doing. I had asked her to call me back and instead of doing so, she contacted another lady who is also working on the same project.

I don't want to seem petty and if I am being petty, I hope the Holy Spirit will convict me of that, but it seemed to me to be a lack of common courtesy for her to phone me back..letting me know that, if nothing else, she had spoken with the other lady. Am I wrong in wanting to be contacted in this regard? As I said, I have been contemplating my actions in this regard. Do I let her know about my hurt feelings, let it go or do something else? I thought about sending her a card, letting her know she is in my prayers and thanking her for her volunteer work. Is that appropriate or should I just let it go?

It really bothered me last night but today I am more serene about it.

Something I did do was to respond to someone in an email. I think it is part of the Obama "get in their face" tactic regarding facts of Obama's life that you don't hear in the news. These are facts about his life that his obamatrons consider to be lies, but are facts about him and his positions and policies. They are supposed to "get in your face" and tell you to stop spreading the "lies". I did respond to her but kept it very civil.

What is going on with me in this matter of these people?

Little One--

You are not doing what I have asked of you...your prayers and the rosary. You must say these prayers for the salvation of your country. Much is at stake here and trading emails with someone will not accomplish anything. Pray, pray, pray and help me to accomplish the Father's will for your country. You must not waiver, you must persevere in your prayers. Send the lady a card if you wish, but keep it Christian and I allow you to contemplate what that means. You know what it means to be a Christian. Act in the manner I have asked you to act..by prayer and fasting. Do not fear. All is well. You are forgiven your lapses, but work to accomplish what I have asked of you. For now, until closing, contemplate my Presence in the most holy Eucharist. I love you my child. Do not be afraid.

Terrible Times

The photo on today's entry was taken last month when my husband and I decided to take a quick float trip after work. We barely had time to get the trip in and it was a lovely day. I love this photo of the sun peeking around the trees as it sinks toward the western horizon.

I give you thanks, my Lord Jesus for all the gifts you have bestowed upon me. I ask your forgiveness for all the times I fail you and pray that you will help me to overcome all my faults and failings.

Please bless this world and particularly my country as we face these troubled times. Do not abandon us, Lord, to lies and deceit and do not let liars and cheaters dominate the world or our country. I fear that you are going to allow us to be ruled by someone who is lying and cheating to get into the White House and who has no fear of the Lord..indeed may even consider himself to be Lord. I wonder if you will allow this because of the excesses we have permitted to prevail in our society and especially in light of our willingness to sanction infanticide by abortion?? Please have mercy on us Lord and do not allow us to be ruled by The One. Please allow only pro-life candidates to win this election, turning it into an upset of divine proportions.

I trust you , though, Lord because I know that whatever you allow is for our good, ultimately. When I was pondering this earlier, I remembered that Mary had to suffer the horrible loss of her Son in order for us to gain a Savior and that the Son had to suffer the loss of God--temporarily in order to redeem us. What appears to be loss in our view may be only the way in which you are bringing about our salvation. I do love you Lord and thank you for everything.

Speak to me Lord, that I might write your words.

Dear child,

Terrible times are coming to your country and to the world. Be not dismayed that this is happening. Know that what happens is my will and that it is ultimately for the good of the world and my children. But, this has been foretold by the prophets and by my scriptures. Mankind has abandoned me and permitted terrible things to take place...things that are sanctioned in the name of "choice." Do not think that I have abandoned my children for I have not done so, but terrible persecution is coming for all who proclaim my Name. Still, do not fear for I am with you and will guide you in what I want you to do. Listen to my voice and you shall live. Do not fear. All is well . I love you, my sweet one. Go in peace.

All is Well

Looking back on this photo from spring, I am reminded that winter is nearly upon us. We are expecting our first storm of the season this weekend and it should cover the mountains like the photo posted here.

We have had an extraordinarily beautiful fall--lovely calm days with no wind and nice temperatures--cold in the morning but warming later in the day. I love this time of year and hope to get out again before winter truly sets in. Usually we have a winter storm but then the weather resumes to fall conditions. I'll try to get some photos uploaded today and tomorrow showing the difference.

I am so thankful to live here and for all the many blessings God has bestowed upon us. We truly live in a remarkable country and I live in a remarkable section of this remarkable country. My prayers of late have been for the upcoming elections. I truly hope that candidates who support life win, from President of the U.S. all the way down to local city and town council candidates. Lord, I know you are so grieved by the destruction of innocent life---at all stages. How do we get people to see the correlation between the ills of society and abortion? How do I tell people that abortion--more than any other factor--is responsible for the degradation of our society? It is a root evil that must be stamped out in order for our country and indeed the world to survive.

On another note, I feel so foolish that I didn't realize I could post from my computer at the shop...I actually thought I had to post from my computer at home. So much for being computer literate. I need know to know how to do more stuff and hope to pick up on things again now that our summer business has slowed down.

Thank you, Lord, for the wonderful bounteous summer we had this year. My first of working with my husband. It is such a delight to be here and working for you and for him. I hope to do more for you as I learn to listen more carefully to the words you speak to my heart. Help me, Lord, to hear and to obey.

My precious child--

I have longed for this time we spend together and missed you this summer as you found your footing in your new environment. You are precious to me and I am delighted to bless you in this endeavor. I know you want to do more for me and I am guiding you in the way I would have you go. You must trust me in this regard. I know you feel as if it has been a long time since you have felt the ectasy of my touch on your spirit nerves and indeed you have been distracted. It is not that I do not wish this for you...I wish for all my children to feel the wonder of my presence as you have felt it.
I am telling you I long to shower my blessings and the fullness of life on you. I only wait for you to recognize it and then the delight will come as will the direction. Do not fear, my little one. You will get there and be there when I need you to be. You are progressing, albeit slowly.

Take each day and offer all to me, as you have been doing. Then wait for me to guide you. Trust your instincts as being from me. I am with you and will not lead you astray. I have much work for you to do. Be at peace and come, follow me.

Thank you, my Lord and my King for all you do for me. I will strive to do better in the things I know you are calling me to do. I am so grateful for all you have given me. I wish to know you better myself so that I may delight in sharing you with others.

Sweet one--

All is well. Do not fear. I am with you and guide your comings and goings. Be at peace, sure in the knowledge that I am with you and am guarding and guiding you. All is well. Believe it and rejoice in it. All is well.

Back again

Wow--thanks Lord for such a glorious day. I give you thanks and praise that you have allowed me to do what I love doing.

Lord, I offer my prayers this day for Sarah Palin as she debates Joe Biden. Bless her Lord, with whatever she needs during this debate.

Thanks again, my Lord and my God. I didn't realize I could spend time here with you in this way. Now that I know I can, I will be doing more writing.

My sweet one--

I love you so very much. Thank you for your fidelity and your love. You are learning the lessons I would have you learn. Go forth and love, my sweet child. Love and laugh and know all is well. You need to be doing this more.

Darts and Roses

Hello my Lord and my King,

Thank you so much for the blessings you have bestowed upon me and my family. I love all of them so much and I pray for their safekeeping and salvation.

Last week, I had deep suspicions that my former employer was unfairly advising me as to the status of a tire. I took it in for repairs and was told that it could not be repaired. For some reason, my inner self was telling me that was not the case and he was being revengeful for me quitting my job. I had the impression that he was sending darts at me, wishing me ill or at least trying to make a monetary profit from my misfortune. At that point, my first impulse was to ask you to send vengeance back upon him if that was the case and my thoughts were not good. But then you gave me the image of those very thoughts and darts, if you will, being thrown at you. I'm not sure if the darts I saw being thrown were the ones he was sending toward me or the ones I returned fire with. All I do know for certain is that very clearly I saw you step between us and gather me in your arms and turn your back towards the darts so that you were the one being stabbed in the back.

Lord, my God. I am so sorry if I caused you this pain and agony by my selfish thoughts and desires for vengeance. I am also sad and sorry if it is my boss sending me these hurtful thoughts. But I am also so very grateful that you have intervened in my life and protected me from this hurtful act. Thank you and help me to try to always think of any acts of mine as impacting you first and then the person to whom I am directing my thoughts.

As I was pondering this wonderful act of yours, I envisioned these hurtful darts as passing through your body and blood and coming out on the other side as beautiful roses, which I then presented to those who were throwing darts at me. Wow. Very powerful and thank you so much for that.

I also ask that you bless my friend whom I went to Mexico with. She and her husband are angry with us for whatever they think they are owed, even though they sent us a bill for additional expenses after they told us not to worry about them. We paid it and my conscience is very clear. She hasn't responded to my emails lately, however, so I'll leave it at that. I wish to also give them roses instead of darts, so please help me with that, my Lord.

Sweet One--

I am delighted to have been able to stop the darts of poisonous revenge from passing into your sweet body and soul. I love you and will always protect you from such evil. Do not fear to love even more generously those from whom the darts come, friends and foes alike. Always try to focus on the rose emerging from my body and blood as a gift to you when these hurtful moments happen. They will happen and I need you at that time to stay focused on me wrapping my arms around you in loving protection and changing the hurt into a gift. You are precious to me. This is a growing time for you. Try, really try to do what I have asked of you each day and then come to me each evening and we will review what has happened. I love these moments with you and want you to live life and live it to the fullest. Rejoice, my daughter. Again, I say it--rejoice for all is well. I love you sweet child. Go in peace.

Self Righteousness

It's been awhile since I have come to this spot to write and I am glad to be back once more. Lately, I seem to be a very harsh judge of practically everyone. My priest, my bishop, my friend and my mother-in-law.
I seem to be having conflicts with all of these people. It's the little things and to myself when I am pondering these things in my heart, I feel wonder if I am being self righteous and judgmental for no good purpose.
I offer my thoughts and impulses to you, my Lord and King. Please help me to discern my true motives and guide me in my future actions with these people.
I wrote the bishop asking that we get a new priest and he wrote me back a smack down letter. I got angry with my mother-in-law for always excluding her daughters-in-law and sons-in-law from family photos...only her children are allowed. I am also angry with her because she totally dissed my Christmas gift to her.
I am distressed with my friend for things she has always been...an alcoholic and a smoker and with her husband for being such a ninny about things while we together on our trip to Mexico.
So, how many of these things are important and how many of these things should I just let go and get on with correcting all the things wrong with myself? ALL of them, I know.
Yet, I stew on them and worry them like a dog worries a bone. I know the fault lies within myself and yet I continually seek to blame others for their failings (of living up to my expectations). The bishop, in his response to me, told me I was seeking a priest, "according to my own specifications." All I really asked for was someone else. We have run our course with the current one and I think we would all be better served if he was assigned someplace else, so I told the Bishop so. And then he told me to be glad I have a priest, any priest and if he moves the current pastor, he may not have anyone else to assign here. So, I guess I probably was specifying someone else. I truly am grateful for the priests you have given to us and for all the gifts they pass on to us from you, my Lord and my King. Help me to be more grateful even when I have a tough time getting along with whomever is assigned here. Help me to keep the faith and to overcome the things in myself that make me want to specify who is placed here.
Help me to love my mother-in-law for the person she is and to be thankful for the children she has raised and one of whom I love.
And help me to love my friend and her husband enough to survive our trip and its aftermath. I don't know what tripped my friend's crank, but by the time we returned to the states, he was a regular grouch and quite nasty. I don't know what we did to him, but I think we were all glad it was over.
Forgive me, my lord and my God for the selfishness displayed by me and help me to focus more on you and on loving these people as you love them.

My little one--
I love you so very much. Do you know how very much you mean to me? You mean the whole world to me and I love you and lived and died for you, so that you might join me in heaven. You are learning lessons here and try to be thankful for all of them. When you find yourself in a conflicting situation with someone, just try to give me thanks for that person and that they have come into your life for whatever the reason is....you may not know it, but I will. And once you have given thanks for them, try to find something about them which pleases you and in that way you can overcome your conflicting emotions. Do not worry, just keep at it and soon the reason for their presence in your life will be very clear.
Also, do not worry about the bishop and the priest. I know you thought you were doing my will in this matter and because I love you, I will identify myself with the letters and the outcome. Do not fear. You told the Bishop you trusted me, so do so and quit worrying about this. I will handle it and you remember to give thanks and praise for whatever the outcome is.
So, even though your concerns lately have been selfish, I know you are learning lessons that can be learned in no other way. Do not fear. Keep up with the schedule as I have outlined it to you and we will move forward.
My sweet child, I love you so much and want so much for you to manifest all the gifts I have given you and that you have not yet discovered. They are here....in the garden of your soul and I am the Master Gardener. Keep searching and you will find such treasures. You are precious to me. Believe that and act on it. Go in peace. I love you.

The Angelic Being

I had the most difficult time sleeping last night. During the restless time when I was partly asleep and partly awake, I saw a beautiful white being, brilliant white and she was pouring grace into the heart of my bishop. It was a nourishment that he slowly drank in, until his whole being was filled with the grace of God, from whom the angel got the decanter of grace being poured out.
It was a vivid dream and when I tried to focus it, by trying to re-direct my thoughts so that the angel poured grace also into my pastor, it didn't seem as bright nor as real. The angel was very real in the vision I beheld. It was beautiful.
Then at some point, a fiery ball hurtled toward earth, specifically the bishop and filled him with the Holy Spirit. It very much resembled a meteor but I thought of it immediately as an outpouring of the Holy Spirit which then lit the world with the love of God.
Lord, I don't know if I was merely dreaming or if you have granted to me visions of something more important. If I need to know more, I am confident you will enlighten me as I need it.
Thank you for your many blessings. Help me to love you more and to be more obedient to your wishes and will. I love you.

My little one--
I love you as well. You are starting to listen to the voice of my Spirit in and through all things. It is a marvelous gift and I willingly share it with you. You will learn how to interpret this dream and what I wish you to do with it. For now be content that you are aware of it and know I love you and guide you in all things. Do not fear the outcome of your letter to the bishop in regards to your pastor. I know you trust me in this as in all things. Continue to pray for your bishop and for your priest. All is well. I love you. Go in peace

Starting Over

Good Morning my Lord and my friend--
Thank you so much for all the blessings you continually pour out upon me. Help me to discern your will more completely as I seek to live my life for you on a regular basis.
I have been on vacation in Mexico...the photo is a view from our cabana on the beach at Punte Allen, Quantana Roo, Mexico. We journeyed there with my lifelong friend, Karen and we had a great trip. Mike and Cy went fishing and Karen and I explored the peninsula and rested in the sun. It was a wonderful time for me. It was spiritually nourishing and I hope I imparted to Karen my love and devotion to you.
It was also a way to separate the old life from the new life. The day we left on vacation was the last day at a job I have held for 16 years. When we returned from vacation, I began my career as a business person, working with Mike in the business he began years ago. Up until now, I have worked for someone else, giving support to the business through the wages and benefits I earned outside of our business. Now, however, I have been inspired to take a leap of faith and work with Mike and for you, dear Lord.
I don't know how to describe it to you, but of course, you probably already know that I was unhappy in my job and felt I needed to change directions. I am much happier now and hope that I have the time to do what I feel you are calling me to do. That is write and evangelize through my written words. I hope that you will lead me in this endeavor and that it truly is your will for me. And to also work in my home and garden, making it a place where you can come and rest and be my guest. I know I need to do much to make it suitable for you and I pray that you will bless my efforts.
I offer my thoughts and prayers for EJ and for Lila, both of whom have been in my thoughts lately. I also offer to you my letter to the Bishop regarding Father Karl. I am content to let the matter rest in your hands, however, I did feel it was necessary to write. If I should not have done so, I pray that you can do damage control for everyone concerned.
I love you, my Lord and my friend. Help me to accomplish what you would have me accomplish. Help me to be more humble and more spiritual. In reading of the wonderful mystics who have loved you in the past, I pray for myself that I might have just a touch of the devotion that enabled them to accomplish great things in your name. I would so like to be a mystic for you, but in reading of their lives, know how very much I need to learn before I could ever be one. My faults and failings are so numerous. Nonetheless, I hope to be a saint and a mystic to boot, so that is my desire. If it be your will.
Thank you again for all your blessings. Help me to do what you are calling me to do this day and guide me in all my efforts.

Hello, my sweet child,
I am so delighted that you have once again begun writing. Your love of me and for me is a great delight to my heart. I see your desire to do good and I know of your love for me. I also know of your failings and faults, yet I say to you, All is well. You are mine and I am leading you and guiding you in all your efforts and endeavors. Be at peace and know I uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. You do indeed have much to learn and do, but the good news is that you have eternity to do it in. Think of it...you are now living in eternity and living with me in the home and garden of your soul. That is where the work needs to be done and it is where you will accomplish your deeds. Remember that always. The work is done in the heart and soul and that is where you will need to direct your efforts. Be at peace and know I help you and guide you in these efforts.
Know also that you are making many friends in the spirit world by your study of the saints. They are coming to love you as you seek to do my will. Learn all you can from these beloved friends of mine. Never fear. I am your God and your King. Living with me insures that all you do is inspired by me. You do have the gifts of the Holy Spirit. You are being led to develop those gifts for the benefit of many. Do not fear. When the time is right, those gifts and the fruits of those gifts will be made manifest. Until then, do your daily duty as you feel I am calling you to do.
One word more about Lila. I know your heart is troubled by the relationship you have with her and your feeling of not being loved. I say to you, continue to pray for her and for the repose of the soul of George. It is in this way that you will help her the most. Do not fear to voice your love of me and my desire to have them share in the love of all my children. Continue to pray for George's soul and that Lila may enter into the Kingdom before her passing. And do not repeat to anyone your hurt. Share that only with me and I will console you with my love and the love of my mother for you.
I have given you the inspiration to do your daily readings and this writing at night time, before retiring. It is a practice that will enable you to go to work in the busy season with a light heart and also with my blessings for your day. Of course, you need to begin the day with prayer but do most of your spiritual readings at night so that you can be up and out of here in a timely fashion.
Go in peace my child and know that your prayers are being answered in a most wonderful way. I love you.

Funny Face

This photo reminds me of a misshapen face of a clown or something. It is delightful and I thank you for giving me the joy of capturing such photos. How I love you, my Jesus. I so need to spend this time with you. I have been negligent in doing so and also in completing my homework. I must do so before we leave so that I can get the web page up and running.

I am excited about it and hope it turns out as I have planned. I really need to work on it but this week is kind of busy for me.

I have no one to blame but myself, so I will just have to stay up late and work on it. At any rate, thank you so much for helping me choose the program I did for the web page design. It is perfect for me.

Thank you for all your blessings. Help me to keep focused on you and help me to do the job you need me to do. I want to work for you and help you minister to your people. You are preciously wonderful to me.

Thank you for loving me and for saving me.

We will journey where I need and want you to go, my child. You are precious to me and I delight to give you all good things. You have much to do for me and I will grant you all you need to get them done. Do not fear. All is well. You need to work on your addictions and overcoming them, but I know you can do it and I know that I have wonderful things in store for you. You will like this, even if it is hard work and humbling work. Do not fear. You are precious to me. Go in peace. I love you.

Easter joy

Oh, the exquisite wonderful joy of Easter. Knowing that Christ has won the victory is joy beyond belief. It is everything. I love the readings of this time... Acts, when the apostles learn that the power of the risen Lord is their power, granted to them as friends of Jesus.

To know that this power is mine also is wonderful. I need to go forth and proclaim Jesus as my Lord and tell stories about him and what he does for me and has done for me. How do I begin, my Lord? One of the meditations this week told me to go out and proclaim your victory to the birds and the flowers and everything. What should I say? How do I start? I know so little about how to proclaim you. I want to, though, and that is a big step for me, as you know, because I have always been terrified of the "E" word...evangelize.

It is not difficult to speak of one you love. When you are in love it is very easy to speak of the loved one to others. Each little act that you cherish, each feature that you adore become stories in themselves. This is how you evangelize. It is not difficult when you love. Do not fear. I am with you. Do not let your heart be troubled by anything, for I am your God and your captain. I am the guide for this portion of your life's journey and you will learn to share me and your love of me as we go along. For now, try to think of something that you love about me and work it into a story that you can share with someone. It will become easier once you try it. Do not fear, little one. You are mine and I love you. My power is indeed yours and I ask you to use it to the full. Go in peace and thank you for coming back to spend this time with me again.

Easter

Jesus Christ is Risen Today, Hallelulia Hallelulia!

I thank you, my Lord and My God for what you have done for me and for the whole world. Help me to be worthy of this tremendous gift and help me also to be as compassionate and generous as you are.

Forgive me when I am selfish or stingy and mean-spirited. I do not want to be those things, Lord, but to emulate you in all ways. For that reason, I ask that you especially bless those people I have been angry at today. Help me to love them as you love them.

Lord, please give me the gift of joy. Thank you for the grace to complete this gift to you. I did struggle at times, but I have completed an entry for every day of Lent and that gives me great joy. I hope this gift is meaningful to you.

My Sweet One--

Of course it is meaningful to me. It is a promise kept and that is always cause for joy and love. I love you so much and you are so special to me. I have great plans in store for you. I will give you the graces you need to do my will in all things. Be at peace and know that I love you with an everlasting love. You are mine and we will go forth into my Kingdom doing my will and work. You will like working for me, my beloved one. Go in peace and in my love and joy.

Holy Saturday

From the Exulstet of the Roman Catholic Church: "This is the night when Christians everywhere washed clean of sin and freed from all defilement are restored to grace and grow together in holiness."

What a wonderful thought and what a wonderful God I have. Thank you my Lord and my King. Thank you for suffering the agonies of the cross, bearing the weight of my sins that I might be freed and washed clean in your blood. Thank you for all you do for me. Thank you and please allow me to repay you with my life and my love. Please allow me to renew my life in the cleansing waters of baptism and repentance. Help me, Lord Jesus to make the most of the time you have granted to me and to do as you will. I know my journey has been far from perfect and yet I offer it to you in the hopes that you will make of it something special and holy. I give it to you, sweet Lord.

I can not bear it on this most holy night that any of my children should be in sorrow. I have died and risen that you might have life and have it to the full. Claim all I have to give and go out and share it with all whom you meet. You have been redeemed. Take joy in this and do not fear. All is well. I love you so much. Rejoice. You are mine. I have claimed you with the price of my life.

Good Friday

It is Good Friday, the day of crucifixion. When I stopped by the church, all is barren and empty. It is a sad place without the Lord. All is sad without the Lord. Forgive me for all the times I take you for granted and do not do as you ask. It is a dark place without the Light of the World.
You have endured too much for me. I must become a better person by doing your will. I love you, my King. I love you.