Self Righteousness

It's been awhile since I have come to this spot to write and I am glad to be back once more. Lately, I seem to be a very harsh judge of practically everyone. My priest, my bishop, my friend and my mother-in-law.
I seem to be having conflicts with all of these people. It's the little things and to myself when I am pondering these things in my heart, I feel wonder if I am being self righteous and judgmental for no good purpose.
I offer my thoughts and impulses to you, my Lord and King. Please help me to discern my true motives and guide me in my future actions with these people.
I wrote the bishop asking that we get a new priest and he wrote me back a smack down letter. I got angry with my mother-in-law for always excluding her daughters-in-law and sons-in-law from family photos...only her children are allowed. I am also angry with her because she totally dissed my Christmas gift to her.
I am distressed with my friend for things she has always been...an alcoholic and a smoker and with her husband for being such a ninny about things while we together on our trip to Mexico.
So, how many of these things are important and how many of these things should I just let go and get on with correcting all the things wrong with myself? ALL of them, I know.
Yet, I stew on them and worry them like a dog worries a bone. I know the fault lies within myself and yet I continually seek to blame others for their failings (of living up to my expectations). The bishop, in his response to me, told me I was seeking a priest, "according to my own specifications." All I really asked for was someone else. We have run our course with the current one and I think we would all be better served if he was assigned someplace else, so I told the Bishop so. And then he told me to be glad I have a priest, any priest and if he moves the current pastor, he may not have anyone else to assign here. So, I guess I probably was specifying someone else. I truly am grateful for the priests you have given to us and for all the gifts they pass on to us from you, my Lord and my King. Help me to be more grateful even when I have a tough time getting along with whomever is assigned here. Help me to keep the faith and to overcome the things in myself that make me want to specify who is placed here.
Help me to love my mother-in-law for the person she is and to be thankful for the children she has raised and one of whom I love.
And help me to love my friend and her husband enough to survive our trip and its aftermath. I don't know what tripped my friend's crank, but by the time we returned to the states, he was a regular grouch and quite nasty. I don't know what we did to him, but I think we were all glad it was over.
Forgive me, my lord and my God for the selfishness displayed by me and help me to focus more on you and on loving these people as you love them.

My little one--
I love you so very much. Do you know how very much you mean to me? You mean the whole world to me and I love you and lived and died for you, so that you might join me in heaven. You are learning lessons here and try to be thankful for all of them. When you find yourself in a conflicting situation with someone, just try to give me thanks for that person and that they have come into your life for whatever the reason is....you may not know it, but I will. And once you have given thanks for them, try to find something about them which pleases you and in that way you can overcome your conflicting emotions. Do not worry, just keep at it and soon the reason for their presence in your life will be very clear.
Also, do not worry about the bishop and the priest. I know you thought you were doing my will in this matter and because I love you, I will identify myself with the letters and the outcome. Do not fear. You told the Bishop you trusted me, so do so and quit worrying about this. I will handle it and you remember to give thanks and praise for whatever the outcome is.
So, even though your concerns lately have been selfish, I know you are learning lessons that can be learned in no other way. Do not fear. Keep up with the schedule as I have outlined it to you and we will move forward.
My sweet child, I love you so much and want so much for you to manifest all the gifts I have given you and that you have not yet discovered. They are here....in the garden of your soul and I am the Master Gardener. Keep searching and you will find such treasures. You are precious to me. Believe that and act on it. Go in peace. I love you.

The Angelic Being

I had the most difficult time sleeping last night. During the restless time when I was partly asleep and partly awake, I saw a beautiful white being, brilliant white and she was pouring grace into the heart of my bishop. It was a nourishment that he slowly drank in, until his whole being was filled with the grace of God, from whom the angel got the decanter of grace being poured out.
It was a vivid dream and when I tried to focus it, by trying to re-direct my thoughts so that the angel poured grace also into my pastor, it didn't seem as bright nor as real. The angel was very real in the vision I beheld. It was beautiful.
Then at some point, a fiery ball hurtled toward earth, specifically the bishop and filled him with the Holy Spirit. It very much resembled a meteor but I thought of it immediately as an outpouring of the Holy Spirit which then lit the world with the love of God.
Lord, I don't know if I was merely dreaming or if you have granted to me visions of something more important. If I need to know more, I am confident you will enlighten me as I need it.
Thank you for your many blessings. Help me to love you more and to be more obedient to your wishes and will. I love you.

My little one--
I love you as well. You are starting to listen to the voice of my Spirit in and through all things. It is a marvelous gift and I willingly share it with you. You will learn how to interpret this dream and what I wish you to do with it. For now be content that you are aware of it and know I love you and guide you in all things. Do not fear the outcome of your letter to the bishop in regards to your pastor. I know you trust me in this as in all things. Continue to pray for your bishop and for your priest. All is well. I love you. Go in peace

Starting Over

Good Morning my Lord and my friend--
Thank you so much for all the blessings you continually pour out upon me. Help me to discern your will more completely as I seek to live my life for you on a regular basis.
I have been on vacation in Mexico...the photo is a view from our cabana on the beach at Punte Allen, Quantana Roo, Mexico. We journeyed there with my lifelong friend, Karen and we had a great trip. Mike and Cy went fishing and Karen and I explored the peninsula and rested in the sun. It was a wonderful time for me. It was spiritually nourishing and I hope I imparted to Karen my love and devotion to you.
It was also a way to separate the old life from the new life. The day we left on vacation was the last day at a job I have held for 16 years. When we returned from vacation, I began my career as a business person, working with Mike in the business he began years ago. Up until now, I have worked for someone else, giving support to the business through the wages and benefits I earned outside of our business. Now, however, I have been inspired to take a leap of faith and work with Mike and for you, dear Lord.
I don't know how to describe it to you, but of course, you probably already know that I was unhappy in my job and felt I needed to change directions. I am much happier now and hope that I have the time to do what I feel you are calling me to do. That is write and evangelize through my written words. I hope that you will lead me in this endeavor and that it truly is your will for me. And to also work in my home and garden, making it a place where you can come and rest and be my guest. I know I need to do much to make it suitable for you and I pray that you will bless my efforts.
I offer my thoughts and prayers for EJ and for Lila, both of whom have been in my thoughts lately. I also offer to you my letter to the Bishop regarding Father Karl. I am content to let the matter rest in your hands, however, I did feel it was necessary to write. If I should not have done so, I pray that you can do damage control for everyone concerned.
I love you, my Lord and my friend. Help me to accomplish what you would have me accomplish. Help me to be more humble and more spiritual. In reading of the wonderful mystics who have loved you in the past, I pray for myself that I might have just a touch of the devotion that enabled them to accomplish great things in your name. I would so like to be a mystic for you, but in reading of their lives, know how very much I need to learn before I could ever be one. My faults and failings are so numerous. Nonetheless, I hope to be a saint and a mystic to boot, so that is my desire. If it be your will.
Thank you again for all your blessings. Help me to do what you are calling me to do this day and guide me in all my efforts.

Hello, my sweet child,
I am so delighted that you have once again begun writing. Your love of me and for me is a great delight to my heart. I see your desire to do good and I know of your love for me. I also know of your failings and faults, yet I say to you, All is well. You are mine and I am leading you and guiding you in all your efforts and endeavors. Be at peace and know I uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. You do indeed have much to learn and do, but the good news is that you have eternity to do it in. Think of it...you are now living in eternity and living with me in the home and garden of your soul. That is where the work needs to be done and it is where you will accomplish your deeds. Remember that always. The work is done in the heart and soul and that is where you will need to direct your efforts. Be at peace and know I help you and guide you in these efforts.
Know also that you are making many friends in the spirit world by your study of the saints. They are coming to love you as you seek to do my will. Learn all you can from these beloved friends of mine. Never fear. I am your God and your King. Living with me insures that all you do is inspired by me. You do have the gifts of the Holy Spirit. You are being led to develop those gifts for the benefit of many. Do not fear. When the time is right, those gifts and the fruits of those gifts will be made manifest. Until then, do your daily duty as you feel I am calling you to do.
One word more about Lila. I know your heart is troubled by the relationship you have with her and your feeling of not being loved. I say to you, continue to pray for her and for the repose of the soul of George. It is in this way that you will help her the most. Do not fear to voice your love of me and my desire to have them share in the love of all my children. Continue to pray for George's soul and that Lila may enter into the Kingdom before her passing. And do not repeat to anyone your hurt. Share that only with me and I will console you with my love and the love of my mother for you.
I have given you the inspiration to do your daily readings and this writing at night time, before retiring. It is a practice that will enable you to go to work in the busy season with a light heart and also with my blessings for your day. Of course, you need to begin the day with prayer but do most of your spiritual readings at night so that you can be up and out of here in a timely fashion.
Go in peace my child and know that your prayers are being answered in a most wonderful way. I love you.

Funny Face

This photo reminds me of a misshapen face of a clown or something. It is delightful and I thank you for giving me the joy of capturing such photos. How I love you, my Jesus. I so need to spend this time with you. I have been negligent in doing so and also in completing my homework. I must do so before we leave so that I can get the web page up and running.

I am excited about it and hope it turns out as I have planned. I really need to work on it but this week is kind of busy for me.

I have no one to blame but myself, so I will just have to stay up late and work on it. At any rate, thank you so much for helping me choose the program I did for the web page design. It is perfect for me.

Thank you for all your blessings. Help me to keep focused on you and help me to do the job you need me to do. I want to work for you and help you minister to your people. You are preciously wonderful to me.

Thank you for loving me and for saving me.

We will journey where I need and want you to go, my child. You are precious to me and I delight to give you all good things. You have much to do for me and I will grant you all you need to get them done. Do not fear. All is well. You need to work on your addictions and overcoming them, but I know you can do it and I know that I have wonderful things in store for you. You will like this, even if it is hard work and humbling work. Do not fear. You are precious to me. Go in peace. I love you.

Easter joy

Oh, the exquisite wonderful joy of Easter. Knowing that Christ has won the victory is joy beyond belief. It is everything. I love the readings of this time... Acts, when the apostles learn that the power of the risen Lord is their power, granted to them as friends of Jesus.

To know that this power is mine also is wonderful. I need to go forth and proclaim Jesus as my Lord and tell stories about him and what he does for me and has done for me. How do I begin, my Lord? One of the meditations this week told me to go out and proclaim your victory to the birds and the flowers and everything. What should I say? How do I start? I know so little about how to proclaim you. I want to, though, and that is a big step for me, as you know, because I have always been terrified of the "E" word...evangelize.

It is not difficult to speak of one you love. When you are in love it is very easy to speak of the loved one to others. Each little act that you cherish, each feature that you adore become stories in themselves. This is how you evangelize. It is not difficult when you love. Do not fear. I am with you. Do not let your heart be troubled by anything, for I am your God and your captain. I am the guide for this portion of your life's journey and you will learn to share me and your love of me as we go along. For now, try to think of something that you love about me and work it into a story that you can share with someone. It will become easier once you try it. Do not fear, little one. You are mine and I love you. My power is indeed yours and I ask you to use it to the full. Go in peace and thank you for coming back to spend this time with me again.

Easter

Jesus Christ is Risen Today, Hallelulia Hallelulia!

I thank you, my Lord and My God for what you have done for me and for the whole world. Help me to be worthy of this tremendous gift and help me also to be as compassionate and generous as you are.

Forgive me when I am selfish or stingy and mean-spirited. I do not want to be those things, Lord, but to emulate you in all ways. For that reason, I ask that you especially bless those people I have been angry at today. Help me to love them as you love them.

Lord, please give me the gift of joy. Thank you for the grace to complete this gift to you. I did struggle at times, but I have completed an entry for every day of Lent and that gives me great joy. I hope this gift is meaningful to you.

My Sweet One--

Of course it is meaningful to me. It is a promise kept and that is always cause for joy and love. I love you so much and you are so special to me. I have great plans in store for you. I will give you the graces you need to do my will in all things. Be at peace and know that I love you with an everlasting love. You are mine and we will go forth into my Kingdom doing my will and work. You will like working for me, my beloved one. Go in peace and in my love and joy.

Holy Saturday

From the Exulstet of the Roman Catholic Church: "This is the night when Christians everywhere washed clean of sin and freed from all defilement are restored to grace and grow together in holiness."

What a wonderful thought and what a wonderful God I have. Thank you my Lord and my King. Thank you for suffering the agonies of the cross, bearing the weight of my sins that I might be freed and washed clean in your blood. Thank you for all you do for me. Thank you and please allow me to repay you with my life and my love. Please allow me to renew my life in the cleansing waters of baptism and repentance. Help me, Lord Jesus to make the most of the time you have granted to me and to do as you will. I know my journey has been far from perfect and yet I offer it to you in the hopes that you will make of it something special and holy. I give it to you, sweet Lord.

I can not bear it on this most holy night that any of my children should be in sorrow. I have died and risen that you might have life and have it to the full. Claim all I have to give and go out and share it with all whom you meet. You have been redeemed. Take joy in this and do not fear. All is well. I love you so much. Rejoice. You are mine. I have claimed you with the price of my life.

Good Friday

It is Good Friday, the day of crucifixion. When I stopped by the church, all is barren and empty. It is a sad place without the Lord. All is sad without the Lord. Forgive me for all the times I take you for granted and do not do as you ask. It is a dark place without the Light of the World.
You have endured too much for me. I must become a better person by doing your will. I love you, my King. I love you.

Holy Thursday

And so it begins...the final push, the great celebration of my faith, the Triduum of Easter. It begins tonight with the institution of Holy Eucharist. As we were waiting in the Garden this evening following the celebration of Eucharist, I hope I had some idea of what it must have been like for those with you that evening. I know my mind was wandering all over the place and having been so tired at times, I am sure I know what the disciples who fell asleep felt even though you asked them to remain awake with you for one hour. They wanted to, but just couldn't hold their eyes open. And the anguish you have gone through this night and tomorrow...no one but you could possibly understand the torment of your heart and soul, but I would like to share the sorrow with you if it will help relieve your burden. I know you came to help relieve my burdens and my sins, and even though you have no sins, I will help you carry any burdens you may ask of me.

Oh sweet one...thank you for the offer. I will allow you to help me with those burdens I think you can help me with. Do not fear. I want you to be with me and to help me. That is why I have chosen this path for you now. The path you were on was not leading where I need you to go to help me. Come with me and you will have your share of the joys and sorrows, the burdens and the strength to carry it. You will have all you need. Just be with me as I want to be with you and we will do the Father's will together.

Tell me of your dream.

It was raining and I was with my friend. We were in her vehicle, along with her oldest son and an infant identified as her youngest grandchild, but not the child of her oldest son. The buildings of the downtown area are familiar as the buildings of my town. I am barefoot and ask my friend if she will drop me by my grandfather's place...two blocks from where we are. She says no and I think at first that she is joking...after all, it is only two blocks. I tell her that and she again says no, she just won't do it and could I get out now as she has to feed the baby. I get out of her vehicle, my feet landing in a puddle and I again ask her if she will please give me a ride as it's raining and I'm barefoot and it's only two blocks out of her way and again she says no and drives between two buildings...tall buildings (and there actually is no road between them). I tell her as I get out that I am very hurt and she says she just can't do it.

Then tonight I find the reason for the dream is that is how I make you feel when I don't/won't do as I think you are commanding me. I hurt you that badly and I am so sorry for the times when I won't go out of my way to do as you ask me, Lord. It is a humbling thing to think that I hurt you that badly. I am so sorry. Help me to do better.

Rest in my love, knowing that I am with you and that I died for you that you might have more chances to overcome the faults in yourself that keep you from me. I love you and want you with me. Go in peace knowing that I am with you and love you.

In need of redemption

I did it again. I fully intended to come home, have dinner and then work on my compter class, but instead I had dinner and sat down to watch a television program and have not done anything on my class.

Lord, please set me free of this addiction that I might serve you more completely and fully. Forgive me and help me.

Dear one--

I came that you might have life and have it to the full. Be healed and set free. I love you.

To Soar

I do not know why I am having so much trouble here at the end when I should be doing so much better than at the beginning, but I seem to be going backwards. I am having as much trouble doing as I should now as I had right at the beginning of the journey.

Forgive me, Lord. Help me to do better and to finish the race. I love you and cherish you. I want to do what you want and need me to do.

I want to be one of your mystics and do wonderful things for you. The more I read of them, the more I wonder if I shall ever have what it takes, but the more I am inspired to really soar.

Thank you for everything you have done and for everything you do for me. You are so wonderful to me. I love you so much. Please allow me to be one of your servants and show me what I need to do to become one. Help me, Lord, to get over my addiction to television.

I do love you--more than you can possible know or imagine. I do forgive you, but I also grow weary of the same of complaints. How I long for you to become all you can be, all I have in mind for you. I cannot help you if you will not hear me and you will not hear me if the television is drowning out my voice. Learn to listen to my voice above all and to desire it above all and we can make some progress. Remember that this is Holy Week. Try to make it holy. I love you. Go in peace. I forgive you.

St.Patrick's Day

It is quite rare that St. Patrick's Day falls within Holy Week and it won't happen again for quite some time.

St. Patrick used the clover to explain the Trinity to his people. Three leaves, one clover. It was a truly inspired explanation of something that must have seemed very unexplainable at the time.

Thank you for St. Patrick and all the blessings we have through him.

Also today when meditating on the words of "God Calling," I realized that my worries about insurance are needless. So many of your saints did not have insurance except for you. I really feel that you are calling me to fore go insurance and trust in you. If that is not the case, then please let me know. It is almost as big a leap as it was to let go of my job.

And now they are discontinuing one of the services I had offered through my job and the boss's girlfriend is going to be coming in to help out. So, we move on to another era.

I do not regret the job nor moving on at this time. So many of the things happening in the world tell me that big things are afoot and that you want me available to do your will and work. Thank you for that.

My sweet child--

Trust me in all and you will experience such joy. Do not fear..I will care for you and you will have no regrets. This is my will for you and I can scarcely brook the delay. I long for the day when you will be mine. Continue to work on your class and do not be afraid. I am with you and for you and in you and you are mine. All is well. Focus on me and the cross this week. It is for you that this has happened. Do you believe this? You must claim this stupendous truth as your own. Go in peace. I love you.

Holy Week Begins

The geese have returned to the area and are looking for a safe place to nest, but are finding that difficult due to the ice that still clogs the waterways. Usually, the water surrounds the islands where they nest, preventing the foxes and coyotes from preying upon the nests. This year, spring is late in coming and the geese seem startled and confused about where to go and what to do. Walking across the ice as they are, they look more like penguins than geese.

Today is the beginning of Holy Week, Passion Sunday. This is the day the Lord entered triumphantly into the City of Jerusalem, an entry that was marked on this day by palms and shouts of Hosanna and joy. Later in the week, the sounds are not so pleasant and he will be killed in the city which today honors him. How fickle is the human heart. So many of those who today honor him will join in the mockery later in the week. It must have broken his heart to be so rejected. And not for himself, but for those rejecting him. They have no idea what they are doing as they scorn and mock the itinerant preacher from Galilee.

But today is a day for celebrating and it must have warmed the hearts of those who truly love Jesus to see him honored as they believe he should be. After all, they didn't know, or rather, didn't believe that he would indeed be crucified later in the week. As his disciples, they must also have basked in his triumphant entry into Jerusalem. Lord, I pray that I may never turn from loving and cherishing and worshipping you to denying you and mocking you. Please grant me the grace to not hurt you in that manner.

My sweet child, love of my heart. Do not fear. I have saved you and will continue to save you. You think I save you from others, but I actually save you from yourself and from the times when you may mock me or reject me. I gave granted you the graces to love me and appreciate all I do for you. You are precious to me and I do not wish to lose you. You do sometimes disappoint me and do not do as I ask but you are learning to do as I command. I am delighted that you have begun reading of my mystics. You are drawn to this because it is part of my vision for you. Do not fear. I lead my loved ones gently into the places where I would have them be. It is not something you need fear, but I want you to understand fully what it is I am asking of you, so continue to study the lives of these friends of mine. Pray much this week that you may fully experience my passion and the joy of my Resurrection. Go in peace and know that I love you and am guiding you and guarding you. You are precious to me. This week is for you.

The Victory of the Palm

Today during Mass, Father A. explained that the palm is a sign of victory and is also to be placed in a special spot in the home as a ward against evil.

Thank you for the richness of my faith and for all the gifts and graces you have given me, Lord God.

Thank you for this day and for my daughter and her husband and their daughter, my granddaughter who finished 7th in the state spelling bee.

Thank you for my friend who journeyed with me to the spelling bee just because she is my friend.

Thank you for her husband who is a little angry because we are so late. We stayed to attend the celebration of Mass with our former paster. It was a delight to share in the Mass as celebrated by him and through, with and in you. Thank you for the gift of the Mass. It is truly a gift and grace that you have given to us.

I love you, my rock and my salvation. Help me to finish the journey we began on Ash Wednesday. Help me to do you will now and always.

You are doing my will, sweet child. Once you have given your life to me and have begun to realize the tremendous importance of the Mass and the Eucharist in your life, you are doing my will. I know you do not yet fully realize all that I am to you, but you are learning and I am delighted. I forgive you your faults and failings and will be with you as we continue to journey to the places I need my good and faithful servant to be. I have work for you and am preparing you for the journey. You will like what I have planned for you. I love you and cherish you. Do not feat to go with me. All is well. Be at peace.

My Fortress

"I love you, O Lord, my strength.
O Lord, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer."--Psalm 18:1

I do love you so mightily, my King. How good it is to read these scriptures which try to describe how wonderful it is to love you. This psalm continues later with the words, "In my distress I called upon the Lord and cried out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice and my cry to him reached his ears."
I know that you have many times heard my cry of distress and I thank you for answering me, even when my fears seemed pitiful to you, you still answered me, calming me and giving me strength to go on. I know there have been times when I could not have continued on if not for you.
It bothered me greatly today when the wife of a co-worker came into the store and was passing around a card to others, but not to me. It is times like this that I am so glad I am leaving this place of work. They are so often so cruel to me without thinking anything of it.
Help me Lord to forbear their cruelty and to forgive them when they so exclude me.

I do love you so, my child. Do not fear this seeming cruelty. You have been thinking that perhaps it has something to do with you and perhaps you are correct. Do not judge what you do not know. Turn the matter over to me, trusting that I will indeed hear and answer your distress. You are not alone in anything, my sweet child, ever. I will always be with you to help you and guide you. Do not be afraid of this or any other thing that may distress you. Call upon me and allow me to love you and show my love for you.

Another day of small offerings

Lord, I am so sorry but I am so tired this evening and have nothing to offer you. I give you all I am, even my tiredness and my faults and failings. Forgive me for not doing as I have been commanded and help me to do better. I love you.

There are times when all you can do is what you have just done. I know you can do better and will grant you the grace to do so. Go in peace. You are forgiven and loved.

The White Hot Furnace

"Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, "There is no need for us to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If our God, whom we serve, can save us from the white-hot furnace and from your hands, O king, may he save us! But even if he will not, know, O king, that we will not serve your God or whorship the golden statue tht you set up."--Daniel 3:18-20

I love this story, not only because of the faith shown by Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego but because of their refusal to acknowledge any God but their own. For me, as an American, this is a new concept as I have always been taught, from earliest memories that while I may choose to worship my God, it is not acceptable for me to think of my God as the only God. Our laws, while promoting tolerance of other people and their religion, also do us a disservice, I think, because we must then tolerate gods who are not the God. How refreshing it is to hear this story and to hear these three refuse to acknowledge that the king has a different God than they. For them, there is only one God, their God and they are willing to die for this belief. I hope that I may have that type of faith should it ever be tested in a similar manner or even in any manner. Thank you, Lord, for the inspiring story. Help me to be more like these three faithful servants of yours.

My sweet child, thank you for loving me and listening to me. I know of your struggles and even though you may not see the furnace of your testing, know that you are being tested as surely as these servants of old. Trust me in all and do as I ask, and you, too, will emerge unscathed from the white-hot fire. I love you. Go in peace and do not fear. I walk with you on this journey. All is well.

Impatient with the Journey

"But with their patience worn out by the journey, the people complained against God and Moses, "Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water? We are disgusted with this wretched food!"--Numbers 21:4-5

A meditation I was reading this day about the above passage asked how often we had heard the query from young travelers, "Are we there yet?" Most often, the query is repeated ad nauseum until parents are complaining about the length of the journey and the children's behavior and no one is enjoying the journey.

Sometimes we become too focused on the destination and forget to enjoy the journey. I am so thankful for the journey you have given me this Lent my Lord and King. My saviour, you are journeying with me along the route chosen for me to reach the destination of your Easter Resurrection.

I know that like children who have grown impatient with the journey, I often complain about the length of the journey and my own loss of comforts, forgetting the purpose of the Lenten sacrifice is to help me prepare to receive you in all your Glory and fullness of life.

Help me, my Lord and King, to journey with faith and trust in you, my guide. Help me to always know that while I may not like the food provided by you, that you do indeed give me food and water--that you know my needs and will provide them. I need have no fear of lacking anything to the point of death. But if I do, then it is because it is your will for me to undergo privation, learning lessons from the fast I can learn no other way.

My God, you are beautiful and wonderful to me. I love you and grow daily more in love with you. I long for the day when my heart will again sing for sheer joy at the thought of you.

These are the moments I love and cherish with you, my dear one. Moments when you are fully awake and choose to spend this time with me because of love, not duty. I do appreciate it when you obey out of a sense of duty, but I love and cherish the moments when you come to me fully awake and desirous of spending the time fully in communion with me. I cherish you and love you. You are my beloved and I give you your heart's desire. Do not fear. All is well. I love you. Go in peace. You are mine and I will provide for all your needs, whether in the desert or at the oasis. I fill your needs. Bless you, my beloved child.

Casting the First Stone

"Let the one among you who is without sin cast the first stone."--John 8:7

This has always been a favorite scripture of mine because I can identify with the woman in the scripture who is brought before the judge. I have always felt a bit victimized by those whom I know and think that the woman was victimized also, by her situation and by her own actions. I certainly know that my actions have not produced the results I want in my life and to a certain degree I am victimized by those. But I also think it appeals to me not because I am the victim, but one of the people who judge when I am not without sin myself. I so often think I am the one being hurt but do not always consider the hurt I cause others by my own actions.

I need to re-evaluate what I do and how I think of others, especially when I am prone to judge them. I need to have more compassion and be less judgemental of them.

I am so angry now with one of the people I work with. I have been thinking he is the one being judgemental and perhaps he is but I also am being judgemental in how I think of him. I just realized tonight that perhaps he feels abandoned by me even though I have considered him to be the one who abandoned our friendship.

Help me to forgive him and to reach out to him, even if he did abandon our friendship. I think he has always judged me harshly and I only now am realizing it. Lord, help me with this person. Help me to give him something that he needs and that you want him to have. Thank you Lord for always hearing my prayer and for always forgiving me for my past sins and judgments. I love you. Help me to love you more and more.

Do you know, sweet one, how it hurts me when someone judges of another and also sins themself? If each person would concern themself with removing the sin from their own life and not worry about the sins of another, the world would soon be brought to me. Your friend does judge you harshly and has abandoned your friendship. I know it hurts you and yet I say to you, forgive me and be not afraid of his judgement. I will deal with the false judges, as I did with Susannah in the Old Testament reading this day. Trust me to vindicate you and I will do so. Focus only on removing the sin from your life and pray for this person. Pray that he may be blessed according to his need. I will deal with the rest.

Go in peace and do not fear. I am with you and I am your God. He cannot hurt you. I protect you and uphold you. You are mine. I love you.

Little Offerings

I have so little to offer tonight, .my Lord and my King. I have been with my grandchildren for the past weekend and then spent the evening tonight babysitting for my friend's two young children. I am exhausted and have only yawns and more yawns to offer tonight.
But, I do offer them to you in thanksgiving and with praise. You are so wonderful to have given me this life and these people to share it with and for that I thank you and praise you and offer my love and worship.
Let me be the person you want me to be. I am yours and will do as you will in all things. Forgive me for not having more to offer this night as all I want to do is go back to sleep.

And yet you did rouse yourself and come and offer me what little you did have. You are learning to be the person I would have you be. Think on that and give me praise for that as well. You are becoming the person I would have you be, I repeat. Go in peace and know that I love and cherish you.