Overcoming selfishness
That old feeling of hurt feelings came back to haunt me a couple of times this Christmas.
It has been an ongoing battle I fight at Christmas.
A feeling of being under-appreciated by those I love who do not consider me worthy of giving gifts to. I have agonized over it many times and thought I was making progress.
But those ugly negative thoughts came back again to haunt me when my son and daughter-in-law didn't give us anything for Christmas. Not even a card.
And again today when I realized that I was not on anybody's Advent Angel list. Or if I was, I didn't get anything.
So, my Lord, it's not like this ugliness and selfishness is news to you, for it has plagued me for years. Nevertheless, I feel bad that I have allowed it to mar the joy of the season.
I surrender it again to you, my Lord. Please restore to me the joy of giving for the sake of giving, as you gave your life in atonement for my sins.
Help me to be thankful that I was able to give gifts to those I love and to the person I had as my Advent Angel.
Please bless her and I hope that my gifts were well received by her, as gifts from you.
Thank you for my family, especially my son and his wife who so desire children. Lord. Please bless them according to your will and gift them with a child, if that is your will.
I don't want to be ugly and selfish to you, my God. Please weed out the ugliness from my heart and soul.
Thank you.
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.
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