More contemplation

This evening time was spent with my friends who are spending time in formulation as lay Carmelites. We are just beginning the journey and have begun studying St. John of the Cross. I had much difficulty reading the introduction. I found myself reading and re-reading it and still not grasping it. It became easier, or rather spoke to my heart more as I began actually reading "The Ascent of Mt. Carmel." We are taking it slow and I am glad for that. I am somewhat concerned because of St. John's views on personal revelations. He doesn't think anyone who has a personal revelation should share it with the world. Which is exactly what I am doing with my conversations with you, Lord. Or perhaps my conversations are just my imagination working overtime??
I began this journal as a Lenten gift to you, my Lord. Is this not something you want me to be doing? Or perhaps I just should not share it with anyone. This just seemed to be such a good format as I can put a photo with each entry and write about my day. When I have tried this in the past, I didn't really have a finished product. Or I have a more finished product by using the weblog format.
Perhaps I am over-reacting to the comments made this evening. I mean, the blog isn't exactly being overrun with comments from readers, so perhaps it isn't so public after all.

Good Evening my beloved child,

I delight in you and in your sweet innocence. Do not fear. You have sought to give me a gift of your time and talents by spending time writing to me and recording my responses to you. You also take the time to go out and find a picture you want to share with me, a picture taken during quiet time we spend together. You do not intend to share it with the world at large, although if I choose to share it with someone who may benefit from it, it is now available to them.

Lord, I am also worried a bit because of the comments made about doing something alone. The idea, or so I gather, is to share such things with others so that I do not deceive myself. But this project is intensely personal. That is one of the reasons we came up with a pen name. The anonymity of that eases my heart so much in that casual readers do not know who is penning these entries. It is easy to share with someone who may never know who I am, but to share it with someone who knows me is quite another thing.

Be still and know that I am God, as the Psalmist has said. Do not fear. I will not allow you to deceive yourself. You must trust that I am God and will protect you here, even from yourself. As we journey along, you will see that all is well. Trust me and go forward unafraid. I love you.