Wow. I have had a hard time this past week keeping true to my resolution to write every day. I guess one of the reasons I have had a hard time is because it feels forced and I want it to be inspired. I have not done well with the television thing either. I keep watching even when I have seen the programming before. What is with that? Why don't I just turn it off and spend time with you, Sweet Jesus? Please be with me this day as we review the past week and my trials and failures.
Let's see....Several things I wanted to ask about. The first was the "vision flash" of a crack..Seeming to separate two people, I think. Or perhaps a crack in the protective aura of someone. I don't know. I am not sure if the crack or the vision of the crack was something to celebrate or something to heal? At first I thought it was similar to the axing of a harmful growth that I saw several years ago. But, the crack was only a short one and didn't pierce the whole way, as did the axing. In that "vision", the split was total and complete from head to toe. So then I thought it might be a warning that something was trying to invade my protective aura. And then, I thought perhaps it was you finally "cracking" my defenses and that I might be at the stage where I can allow you to enter into my heart and soul completely.
So that is one thing. The next was an abrupt surge of anger and rage. It happened over my lunch hour the day following the "cracking vision" and all of a sudden, I just got viscerally angry at a friend and started cussing at this person and shouting at the person in the silence of my heart and mind. At that point, I did obey you and grab my Bible and read what you directed me to read, calming myself down, I'm thinking that might have been an attack of some kind. It was interesting that the first thing out of the person's mouth when we next met was "Well??" As if my friend actually heard me and was asking me about the attack.
And then there is the cold rudeness of another female. She ignores me when she can and makes snide remarks when she must speak with me. I feel she dislikes me extremely and even though I know the reason, I am not sure what to do about it.
So, those are the highlights of the week after my last post. I am so sorry for having failed to write daily and for having failed to turn off the television. Help me Lord, my God and my Friend, to value my time with you more than anything. Forgive me for my failures and sins and guide me in overcoming all those things displeasing to you.
Ah..sweet, sweet Child and Friend,
I do value you so much. I forgive you for the times you hurt me by not valuing our time together as much as I do. Do you hear what I am saying to you? I value our time together so much. Yes, I long to spend more time with you. I do thank you for taking me with you everywhere you go, however. I know that I am always with you in the center of your heart. I know you feel this because of the many times you stop and speak with me during your day. I value that in our friendship.
As to interpreting your visions...The first time you saw the axing, it was as if a tree had been split in two with one side surviving even after the split. The axing cut away a part of the tree that was sick. And you should remember specifically praying for the healing of the surviving half.
In the vision of this past week, the crack was more like a crack in an eggshell, was it not? That is where you got the idea it might be a cracking of a protection...Much as a chick is protected by the eggshell until it is time to come out of the shell and into the world. The crack did not go the length and breadth of the egg, however. It was just starting. Nor was it as violent as the axing of the tree. It was a start. It was a brief glimpse of a new life that is about to be born in your life. Keep on praying and loving. You are doing well. You can do better, of course, but you are doing well.
As to the anger, it was an attack, as can be evidenced by the fact that when you began reading my Word, you regained your calm and did not allow the underlying cause of your anger to overwhelm you. It was real and it was an attack of evil against you. Even though you were angry at people, do not think that they are the source of the attack. Evil attacks my friends and loved ones to hurt me, but also to discourage them and hurt them and mislead them. Were you to act on your angry impulses, you might hurt the people you were angry with and evil would smile at your easy duplicity.
As to the female you are in conflict with, you do know what to do about it. You pray and love this person. Always, always when you find yourself in conflict with another, the first thing to do is bring them to me in prayer. Often, the other person does not wish you well. I will guide you in those instances. But to know where I am guiding you in response to their actions, you must first bring them to me in prayer.
Lord, thank you. You have lightened my burdens considerably this day. I thank you and praise you and love you for your wonderful care of me. How good you are to me. Thank you so much for all your blessings and for your guidance in all my deeds and words and actions. Thank you for protecting me and for loving me. I also had a glimpse today of myself between two people. One was the female I find myself in such conflict with and the other was a mutual friend. I was between them holding a hand of each of them. What does this mean? Does it mean I interfere with their relationship or that I hold it together?
Sweet one--
Meditate on this and see if you can determine what the Spirit is telling you with these visions. Do not be afraid. I am with you and will guide you to the truth. You need not fear exploring this gift a little. It is an awesome gift and you do not as yet realize what is happening. Be at peace and know that I love and cherish you.
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