Called to Contemplation

This evening I went with my friend to the first meeting of a group who are in formation as Third Order Carmelites. When she first asked me I said no, I didn't think I wanted to do that, but I ended up going with her. Not because I wanted to go for myself but because she is my friend and she wanted me to go with her.
I am intrigued and frightened at the same time by the idea of committing to following the rule of the order. I originally told her that I would make no promises about whether or not I would continue once I had been to the first meeting. And I fully intended to tell her following the night's introductory session that it isn't something I want to do or commit myself to do. But I was intrigued and decided to give it a try.
I think this is your way of preparing me for another task you have in mind for me, Lord. I was reminded of a child who doesn't think she wants to go somewhere and has to be dragged kicking and screaming along until we get there and then she realizes that it might be just what she wanted all along. And there is no doubt at all that I can use the discipline required to make this a daily habit.
So, I offer it to you and ask you to bless my endeavors in your name. I pray that I am following your will for me in this matter Lord. I thank you for my friend who, perhaps, has heard your voice more clearly in this matter than have I.

My beloved--
You have prayed to love me as much as I love you. This is the way I have chosen to show you that love and how to love me better and better. You will like this way, even if it doesn't seem like it at the present time. Remember that my ways are not your ways and the methods I choose may not be the ones you would have chosen for yourself. Yet, I know you and I know your capabilities. I asked you to follow me into the desert. You said yes. Remember that the Carmelites began as a prayer community...In the desert.

Oh, my Lord!! How obtuse of me. I didn't expect something like this and as a result could have easily missed your voice calling to me and showing me the way to follow you. Thank you so much for not letting me miss it and thank you so much for my friend and allowing me to finally recognize you in her. And now, Lord, I can more easily accept the strictures of this order and will hopefully come to love it because it brings us into divine union. It is also good for me to be reminded that even though I believe you speak to me in this time, you also speak to me in the ordinary ways of my day--such as the suggestion of a friend. How I thank you and praise you, my Lord and King.

I love you, my child and long for a closer union with you. I long to be one with you as the Father and I are one. This is what I call each of my beloved children to and what I want to share with each of you. You do not need to be frightened. I will guide you easily and gently. Be at peace.