Christmas, 2016

Many Christmas blessings to all! Thank you, almighty God for the gifts you bestow on us.

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Fourth Saturday of Advent

It's here! The day of the coming of the Lord is here after a month of preparation and prayer.

Elijah has come to prepare the way of the Lord, as we hear in today's Gospel reading in Zechariah's blessing of his son, John.

The prayers and preparations are complete. It's time to simply relax in the love of our Lord and God. He has come!

Thank you, my Lord, for sending your son! He has restored to us the dignity you intended we have.

I love you, my Lord and my God. I trust in you and give to you my family as well as myself that we all may enter into your Kingdom.

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Fourth Friday of Advent, 2016

This afternoon I feel such sadness. I don't know why, but I am filled with regrets over things that are no longer as they have been and sadness and regrets over things I have failed to do.

In praying the Christmas prayer of St. Andrew, I have been praying for my family and their needs. I have failed them so, by not imparting to them my deep and abiding love for you, my Lord.

I think if they had faith, they could more easily weather the spiritual storms besetting them.

I am sure each of my children has regrets, too, about things that were but no longer are..

And that causes me sadness, too.

Our only hope is the salvation by our God, the newborn King of Kings.

Forgive me for my failures to choose secular things before you, my God and help me to find Christmas joy.

I love you, in spite of my failings. Please grant to me what I need to be your most dedicated, loving and humble servant.

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Fourth Thursday of Advent, 2016

Contemplating today on Christmas and Christmases past, I am struck by the differences I feel this year compared to past years.

Many years I agonized about what gifts to give and stressed so much about it when the giving of gifts I thought and prepared so lovingly were met with indifference, if not outright dislike.

This year, I have not stressed, but merely enjoyed each and every moment of picking and choosing gifts for those whom I love.

And, if they don't appreciate them, then so be it. I will not take it personally.

I have always comforted myself when my gifts are rejected  with the comparison of humanity's rejection of your Christmas gift, my Lord and my God. 

You gave us the ultimate gift at Christmas..the gift of yourself, of your son.

And so often, we have rejected it. How sad for us, Lord. And how oddly comforting to me..that you know and feel this rejection that has so devastated me in past years.

So, I thank you, and give you praise that you have experienced what I have experienced. I pray that you will allow me to further share in knowing and loving you..whether it means loving acceptance and gratitude or rejection.

Help me to have a truly blessed Christmas, according to your will, my Lord.

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Fourth Wednesday of Advent, 2016

Today's Gospel reading is that wonderful meeting between Mary and Elizabeth when Elizabeth recognizes, through the "leaping of her child in the womb," that Mary is the "mother of her Lord."

What a powerful witness and testimony to Mary's unique and wonderful role in helping us to find and fall in love with her son.

John the Baptist and Jesus met mystically in their mothers wombs as Mary and Elizabeth were marveling of God's goodness and love.

Thank you, Lord for the gift of your mother.

Thank you Mother Mary for saying yes to God.

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Fourth Tuesday of Advent, 2016

I realized today how simply things seem to be going for me this Advent.

I don't seem to be worried or stressed about anything as we move closer to celebrating the day when Christ became man, reuniting us, or more specifically, opening the door through which we might access the heavenly kingdom again.

While I have been busy getting things done, I recognize that I am receiving help from heaven to get through everything that needs doing before the Coming of the Lord.

And, this is happening in spite of myself and those faults and failings I confessed last night.

I feel truly surrendered.

I am yours Blessed Mother and my Lord Jesus Christ. Let me get done those things that are important to you.

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Fourth Monday of Advent, 2016

Cleansed and Purified

Tonight was the penance service for our parish and I was confessing my failings. Fr told me to continue to pray for God's grace to change me, because I cannot change myself.

Instead of totally surrendering my many faults, I have continued to struggle to overcome them myself,  to no avail.

Fr reminded me that I must even surrender those things that I think aren't worthy of surrendering because God chose to join our dysfunctional family. 

He knows my faults and loves me in spite of them, ever forgiving and ever willing to strengthen me and guide me as I seek to know and love Him more.

Thank you, my Lord, for opening the door to forgiveness.

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Fourth Sunday of Advent, 2016

"They shall name him Emmanuel, which means God is with us." ~ Matthew 1:23

The final week of anticipation begins, as we await the coming of our King.

My heart is joyful and happy at the thought if welcoming him to be "with us....with me."

God is with me. Each thought I have, each deed I perform, everything I think, do and say...God is with me.

Thank you, my Lord and my God. Keep me on the path you would have me tread.

Help me to spend this coming week joyfully preparing for your coming.

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Third Saturday of Advent, 2016

The temperature today was below zero or slightly above as a massive cold front swept into the area.

It brings to mind the prayer of St. Andrew

"Hail and blessed be the hour and the moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour, vouchsafe I beseech thee, oh my God to hear my prayers and grant my desires, through the merits our Lord Jesus Christ and of his blessed Mother. Amen."

I don't know if it was as cold as it is here and now, but I do know that spending even mildly cold night outside, with only the warmth of animals would be terrifying.

That it seems to have been done so peacefully is a miracle and blessing. 

That angels sang the Gloria that same night is another wonder and so is the shepherds coming to pay a visit to the newborn King of Kings. At midnight, in piercing cold as well. Away from their fires and warm camps.

Oh, my Lord. You are wonderful indeed. Thank you for thinking we are worth saving, worth dying for, in spite of all our failings and faults.

I praise and adore you my God! You are awesome.

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Third Friday of Advent, 2016

"But I have testimony greater than John's. The works that the Father gave me to accomplish, these works that I perform testify on my behalf that the Father has sent me." ~ John 5:36

My Lord, in a previous passage from this chapter of John, you state that you come not to do your will, but the will of the Father.

Here, you state that the works you do are testimony of that. Or that you are able to do miracles because it is the Father's will to do them.

Such words speak of a Father concerned about the minute details of my life, the lives of each person. 

Such a thought is staggering to me when I consider how little I am valued by the leaders, movers and shakers of this world.

I am nought in the sight of the powerful of this world.

Yet, when you do miracles in my life (and you have done many, for which I thank you and praise you), it is because I am valued by you, that I have some purpose I can accomplish for the Father, for You, for the Holy Spirit and all the angels and saints who are so precious to me.

I fear that I am such a disappointment to all of you. 

Please help me to become who you want me to be so that I can do the Father's will.

It seems, my dear child, that we frequently have this conversation. You have said it, you are valued by our Father, and me and the Holy Spirit. You are valued by my mother, to whom you have consecrated your life. You are valued by angels and saints that you have befriended.

We all want you to accomplish the Father's will in your life. 

We await with great expectation the day when you will simply start doing it, not being afraid to step out in faith. 

We long to help you.

It is you who delay. Begin tomorrow and we will help you.

Be not afraid. Be filled with joy for it is true. We love you.

Thank you, my Lord. 

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Third Thursday of Advent

This is z pboto I took after visiting my friend todsy.

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Third Wednesday of Advent

St. John of the Cross

Today, Dec.14 is the feast day if one of the giants of our faith. St. John's epic work on "The Dark Night of the Soul," has become a source of renewal for many Catholic monks and lay people.

Lord, show me how to ascend the mountain.

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Third Tuesday of Advent, Dec. 13

The Solemnity of St. Lucy

"What is your opinion?"...~ Matthew 21: 28

Lord, today, as we continue our Advent journey, you are asking questions of the scribes and Pharisees about an event...the two sons, and which does the Father's will..the son who at first refuses and then relents and does it or the son who says yes, he will do it, but does not.

It is a lesson intended for those who think they are safe and can presume upon the Father's good will. 

It is also a story of humility and right thinking when the son who at first refused then changes his mind and does what the Father asks.

Quite frankly,  my Lord, I find myself confused by which of those  I am, for I can identify with both.

What is your opinion of me, my Lord and my God?

You are both, my child, at differing times you are both obedient and disobedient. You say you want to be Mine, but you refuse to throw down those trappings of the world which have ensnared you. Television comes to mind.

And, your news blogs. You spend far too much time consumed with the opinions of men than you do seeking my opinion.

Yet, I love you and  want to give you your hearts desire. I am your hearts desire, albeit hidden within your search for beauty, knowledge and acceptance.

You must surrender your will to mine. You must follow the teachings of Lectio and begin to grow in our relationship. You talk at me and pray at me, but seldom do you speak with me or pray with me. Do you understand the difference? I want you to experience the full depth of my love and concern for you, but you must let go of the trappings of the world.

Please help me, Lord, and Blessed Mother, to overcome those weaknesses and addictions which so consume me that I have little time to give to you. 

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Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe

Our Lady is such a humble and beautiful person who has been glorified by her obedience to God.

I thank you , my Lord for the gift of Our Lady. She is so beautiful and full of grace, which along with  the humility she emulates,  is the reason You have chosen  her to help your children navigate the perils of this life.

I read another meditation today that noted not only is she humble and lowly..according to the world's standards..but she appears to the lowly and woeldly insignificant.

The author says this is why we are to know of God's love for each of us.

And in contemplating this, I find I am filled with joy. I know I have not done as well as I want this Advent. But, I am still filled with joy and love for you, my Lord and my God.

Please help me, Blessed Lady of Guadalupe, to overcome those obstacles that keep me from loving you and your Son and God  to the best of my ability.

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Gaudete Sunday, Advent 2016

Today has been an interesting day, my Lord.

It began when I took my friend Communion and even though I have spent quite a bit of time helping her, I think she thought I had done something wrong when I helped her set up her router. So, I left upset with her.

Then, I spent a little time trying to find a good picture for today's gift while my heart was disturbed. I spent the afternoon glued to my phone and then attended the choir Christmas concert with another friend. 

It was interesting because of the people there, in particular another friend  with whom I have trouble communicating. Nothing new on that front, although I was surprised to see that friend, I didn't really feel fear about speaking, as I have in past instanced,  just indifference.

Until later, when I once again marvel at the really bad timing the two of us seem to have. And I have felt bad ever since, wondering why this happens to us. 

It's the heart to heart thing that has always been a hallmark of our relationship. Only we don't seem to ever be in sync.

And yet, this is the reason I have come to experience your love on an ever deeper level.

Lord, I have not been experiencing this Advent as purely and as holy as I would like.

I offer what I am and what I have in the hopes that you can make of it something you desire.

It is a pitiful offering, I realize, I pray that you and Blessed mother can help me to do better.

Thank you, my Lord. 

Please help me to overcome my addictions.

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Motherhood, 3rd Saturday of Advent 2016

There was a moment tonight when I had some profound thoughts on morhers and motherhood.

But  I serm to have forgotten. It is the most joyous of vocations. Not being a mother can be terribly sad.

Lord, please bless all mothers and those who would be mothers.

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2nd Friday of Advent, 2016

It was the annual Festival of Trees tonight. A fundraiser for the Chamber of Commerce and another worthy cause.

Lots of  Christmas items are auctioned off. There were some really cute items and some that went for way too much, for what they were worth.  But, it was a festive event, as usual.
I wonder about whether we should hold festive gatherings during Advent. Our culture has definitely lost the reason and purpose of Advent as a penitential time to prepare for the coming of the Lord.

Have mercy on me, my Lord and God for my failure to adequately prepare for your coming.
Please help me to re-focus and to do better loving you.

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2nd Wednesday of Advent, 2016

Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception 

Thank you , Lord, for the gift of your Blessed Mother to br our mother as well.

I have been contemplating the Memorare:

What an awesome thing it is that you do for us. How you care for us and bless us as any mother would bless her children.

Thank you.

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2nd Wednesday of Advent, 2016

Uplifted rock formation

Bearing Our Burdens 

"Jesus said to the crowds: "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~ Matthew 11:28-30

It has been some years now since I first heard an explanation of this Gospel verse from a priest. I struggled with the "take my yoke upon you...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light" portion of the verse for several reasons. The first being that I didn't want to take any one's yoke upon myself, because I was struggling with enough at the time as it already was...I didn't need to add an additional weight of someone's burden to my already over-burdened life, even if it was the Lord who was asking.

How I now shudder to think that I was once so shallow and mean-spirited and selfish. My spiritual director relieved me by asking me if I had ever seen oxen yoked together pulling a heavy weight. Of course, I replied in the affirmative. He went on to explain to me that neither of the oxen could pull such a weight by themselves, but that by pulling together, it made the burden lighter on both of them.
That was something I had never considered, even though I had been married for a number of years and had worked with my spouse to accomplish some things, it never dawned on me that we had been "yoked together" so that we could actually get the job done. Nor had I ever applied it to the Lord, oddly enough.

As I have since learned, when the Lord yokes Himself to me, it is for my benefit and not to make His burden lighter, as I had erroneously thought. He is actually doing me a favor by yoking His Divine Self to my poor and piteous human self and pulling with me through the difficulty. It is an astounding thought...that He would want to...and that I could be so foolish as to not want to be yoked together with the Lord of the Universe. Wow. 

Fortunately, with good spiritual direction, I was able to view that Scripture in the proper light and it opened for me a whole new way of viewing Scripture and the Lord's call in my life.That's the "and learn from me" portion of this Gospel verse. Because I was able to correctly understand this one verse, it opened for me a way to understand better (not something that comes all at once, but a journey of learning) scripture as God meant it to be. And now that I am studying Lectio Divina I understand that God's Word is Him actually speaking to me. To me, personally. Again, Wow. 

 It is still a little intimidating to think that He wants to be yoked to all that burdens me, as I sit and consider all that I have to do and all that is left undone. And that He loves me deeply enough and dearly enough to yoke Himself to me. For me and for my benefit. It's so amazing and I am so in love with you, Lord.

Thank you for all your many blessings and for choosing to yoke yourself to me that I might be able to bear my burdens with ease.

You must learn to accept all that you hear me speaking in the depths of your heart as our Heart to Heart Conversation. Yes, I use my Scripture to begin the conversation, but as we journey along, you must act on the sure knowledge that what you hear in the depths of your heart is actually me speaking to you. It will change your life, as you know from past glimpses of this truth.
My child, I do love you beyond imagining. Fear not. All is well.

Thank you, my Lord! 

2nd Advent Tuesday

A picture of a bird i  my yard this morming.

This was a day in which I didn't get anything done except to take the picture and get it posted.

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