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| Inside looking out at the snow |
Last night I was upset because of the "lack of quality gifts" that we received from one of my sons. It's a very unChrist-like response to this season of loving and giving, I know.
For some reason, this son and his family always seem to take but never to give...at least as generously as I think they should. So when I received the package of small gifts from his family, I was upset. They spend a lot of money on themselves and on their wants, but never seem to have any left over to share with their parents or siblings on my son's side of the family. I suspect the gifts given to his wife's side of the family are much better. So, I am feeling like not a lot of preparation went into their gift giving for our family.
It's not all about the gifts, I know that, and I was having so much trouble with this.I guess I still am having trouble with this, even though in the depths of my angst over this, the Lord gave me a very eye-opening and humbling view of my own paltry gifts to the Christ child.
At the beginning of Advent, I had told the Lord that I would make an effort to write daily, spending time in reflection and preparation of His coming. Well, I have obviously failed spectacularly at this and so my own gift to the Lord is as paltry and skimpy as the gifts given to us by our son and his family. There is a wonderful lesson in there for me, I know. I want to have the generosity of heart to accept the spirit of the gifts given by my son's family. The problem is that I don't think there was much spirit in it at all. I can say the same of my gift to the Lord, however. I am hoping against hope that the paltry offering I have for Him will somehow be transformed by Love into something wondrous and grand for Him, but before that can happen I need to find the gift of the spirit in my reaction to the gifts given by my son's family.
Yesterday, as I sat with my prayer partner in the church, I saw the Lord "scrubbing clean the dark places of my heart and soul in preparation for the coming of the Lord." That was before I opened the box of gifts from my son. Now I feel like I need another scrubbing.
Lord God, my King and my Savior, please forgive me these selfish feelings and bring me to the place where you want me to be...unselfish and giving and totally appreciative of all that You have done for us in sending Your beloved Son into the world that we might have life and have it to the full.
Lord, I just about blew it and sent my son a nasty email. Your angel stayed my hand, however, and encouraged me to send a more positive message instead. Thank you for that.
Also, please accept my paltry gift and grant me the grace to strive to give you my time in writing and reflection each day of the coming Christmas season, for starters. I'll try to make it better.
Lord, I do love you. Help me to love you more and more...as much as you love me. Also, please bless my son and his family with the true spirit of Christmas.
Sweet Child,
We do love you so very much. That is one reason why we showed you how your gifts stacked up in comparison to your son's gifts. It is the spirit of giving that matters...not what is given. You did not have the right spirit until you sent the P.S. to your son. We will use that simple message to bless you and your son and his family with such love that your heart will be scrubbed clean and you will receive the Lord in your heart this Christmas. Go in peace, my love, and continue your preparations for Christmas. We love you.
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