2nd Monday of Advent, 2016

"A highway will be there called the holy way;

No one unclean may pass over it nor fools go astray on it." ~Isaiah 38:8

Does this mean, Lord, that fools such as I will not wander off the holy way and become lost in sin once more?

Or does it mean that no one who is foolish will stray onto the holy way unintentionally?

I was about to ask if there was a difference, but of course there is. While I may be foolish, I am most decidedly yours, my Lord, and you would not allow me to go astray.

While there may be other fools who would seek to wander along the holy way, just their seeking it out would be enough for you to give them another chance to journey along the holy way towards everlasting love with you. 

In the same way, fools who do not wish for eternal love and companionship with you would not be able to find the holy way accidentally. Somehow, they would be blocked from finding it, unless the desire for You were a sincere one.

Oh, I praise you, my Lord and my God. You are so wonderful in how you have revealed Yourself to simple folks like me. I pray to always be so simple and true.

My sweet child, I delight in sharing my life with you to the absolute fullest. I am here to guide you along the Holy Way. I AM the Holy Way. You are not here by accident. I want you here and I want to journey with you in everything you think, do and say,  Showing you more and more of the holy life.

Soon you will realize just how perfect this is and how joyously wonderful.

Oh, thank you, my Lord any my God for your many blessings poured out on me and my loved  ones. I just realized how trustless my agonized prayers for my daughter and granddaughter are. If I believe in your love for me, then I must also believe and trust that you will guide them onto the Holy Way, from whence they will not go astray.

Oh, thank you, my wonderful Lord. My King. My Friend.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

2nd Sunday of Advent, 2016

"O Lord, you have searched me and known me!You know when I sit down and when I rise up;you discern my thoughts from afar.You search out my path and my lying down,and are acquainted with all my ways.Even before a word is on my tongue,behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.You beset me behind and before,and lay your hand upon me.Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;it is high, I cannot attain it."

This is the Scripture passage I am meditating upon in my study and practice of Lectio Divina.

Lord, that you know me so well..every thought and every move I make and still love me is humbling. That you are associated with those things, because I am yours, is even more humbling because they are not worthy.

And that our Mother is also associated with the lowest thing I do or say is something that I can be ashamed  of, when my motives are impure.

Yet, that knowledge is "too wonderful, too high," according to the Psalmist. 

It is the knowledge that I am not worthy and am small and mean that keeps me from conversing with you in our heart of hearts. Or keeps me from believing it is you that I am conversing with. It is easier to think I am talking to myself or to someone else, rather than you.

Don't be afraid little one. I love you. I forgive you. Yet, I want you to begin to live this truth deeply for it is the union with me that will enable  you to be who you are meant to be.

Go in peace, sweet child. We will learn to walk with one another. You will learn to have the faith that will enable you to hear and do my commands. 

Thank you, my Lord. I love you. 

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

First Saturday of Lent, 2016

"Then he summoned his twelve disciples and gave them authority  over unclean spirits to drive them out and to cure every disease and every illness.

As you go, make this proclamation: 'The kingdom of heaven is at hand.' Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, drive out demons. Without cost you have received, without cost you are to give." ~ Matthew 10: 1, 5-8.

Today's Gospel reading is the one that jumped out at me as I was reading it. In seeking to draw closer to God, I have been studying the ancient Christian method of praying lectio divina. 

As I meditate and study this, I wonder exactly how you gave the Apostles your power. Did you bless them by laying hands on them? Or did you just tell them they had the power?

What heady joy they must have felt when curing illness or driving out demons! And it was to be told to all whom they helped  that the kingdom of heaven is at hand. 

This, then, the power over the dysfunctions of our world is the Kingdom of Heaven. It was available to them while they were living in this world. 

It is available to us, now.

Why then, does illness and disease, demon possession still haunt our world? The Gospel has been preached throughout the world. But, somehow, the power has been lost. Surely, you didn't intend the power to fade with the deaths of the Apostles?

No, of course not, my Child. I want all of my disciples to give what they have received. Do you now understand that you have been given power to cure illness and disease, drive out demons? Tell others the good news of the Kingdom? And to do it without cost.

I want you go be a powerful force for good in my world. Do you accept this gift?

Yes, Lord, I do accept. 

Then go forth in faith, knowing that I am with you. Be not afraid, my little child. I love you. 

 

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

First Friday of Advent, 2016

Faith

"Let it be done for you according to your faith. And their eyes were opened. Jesus warned them sternly--see that no one knows about this." Matthew 9: 29-30

The gift of faith: precious and  powerful,  able to grant sight to the two blind  men. Yet, fragile too. Easily dimmed by the darkness of doubts or why else would you, Jesus, grant their deepest desire "according to your faith."

How often do you perform miracles because "your faith has saved you?"

What a wondrous gift and yet so few dare to open it to the fullest potential. 

Lord, grant me faith the size of a mustard seed and the courage to use it.

 

 

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

First Advent Thursday

Losing Angelina 

I have lost a granddaughter, my sweet Angelina. She lives across the country with her mother, my husband's estranged first wife.

We have not heard from her for some months and so I texted her today to inquire about what she wants for Christmas.

I think her mother intercepted the message, however, as she has in the past. She said she just wants money so she can buy what she wants. Fair enough.

I told her what I want..a letter and some photos. And she is too busy to do that and cannot afford to print pictures.

So, I gave her my blessings and prayers and wished her a Merry Christmas.

And I will not be sending any money to her this Christmas. 

In years past, I would have stewed and fretted about such an apparent breach. But this time I realize there is no way to combat Angelina's mother other than via prayer. She has always been greedy and is either teaching her daughter such tricks or isn't even allowing Angelina to see the texts. 

Either way, I don't think I am obliged  to put up with such disrespect. Nor am I obliged to send Christmas money just because Angelina is my granddaughter.

Ah, Lord. I do not think this pleases you and I would very much like to please you. Forgive me for any bad decisions I am making in this matter.

I do ask that you bless Angelina and her mother. Pour out your blessings of love and grace upon Angelina and her mother.

And keep me from spiritual smugness.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Nov. 30th, Feast of St. Andrew

Today we begin the beautiful Christmas Anticipation Prayer which is prayed 15 times per day from now til Christmas. 

"Hail and blessed be the hour and the moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour, vouchsafe, I beseech thee my Lord to hear my prayer and grant my desires (mention prayer request) through the merits of your Son Jesus Christ and His Blessed Mother."

I can't remember exactly what I prayed for last year, but I suspect it was similar to what I prayed for today..salvation for my husband, children and grandchildren. And what I will pray for each day as we prepare for Your coming.

Last year, I think I prayed for a special blessing for my daughter because we had just finished the Thanksgiving family party for my dad. At that time, I once again felt my daughter's pain over something not right with her marriage. Her husband's neglect and disinterest of her was so evident that I am sure I prayed for a solution.

Months later, when she filed for divorce because of his infidelity, I knew she had been suffering for quite some time.

This year, I have just spent time with her and my granddaughter and I think my daughter is drinking too heavily. She is also looking for love on a dating site.

I pray that she will find Your love, my Lord. I hope she can find You in her loneliness. My prayers are that she answers Your call to her as she looks for love.

This year, I write about it so I can look back and know your love for me in answering my prayers and granting my desires, as I suspect you did last year, even though it meant a painful divorce for my beautiful daughter.

But, I don't know if she is strong enough to withstand the allures of worldly concerns.

So, I give her to you and to Blessed Mother.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

First Tuesday, Advent 2016

Today has been one of those days when worldly things seem to get in the way of prayer, meditation, conversation with God.

Doctors visit, trip to visit mother-in-law, grocery shopping  dinner. The day just seemed to slip away without my prayer time.

And I  just lost interest in my routine of prayers, even though those prayers and the ritual of spending time with the Lord is what has kept me safe and sane all these many years.

I read a new prayer today called The Set Aside Prayer. It goes like this:

"God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about  myself, this padsage and you, so I may have a new experience of these things."

Amen. I need  to set all aside that God can teach me about  myself and Himself and what He wants from me.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

First Monday of Advent 2016

Shadow creeps over the mountains as light fades

A New Beginning

"For over all, the Lord's glory will be shelter and protection: shade from the parching heat of day, refuge and cover from storm and rain."~ Isaiah 4:6

The start of Advent, coming as it does in the darkest part of the year, would seem an odd time to think of a new beginning.

At least, for non-Christians. 

Yet, it is the time when hope is brought forth from the darkness to shine brightly in our lives as we prepare for our Lord's coming.

The Lord promises us protection, from the natural elements that threaten us, as well as from evil that stalks around us, seeking our ruin.

How Blessed we are, to have the protection of the Lord of the universe as we journey ever closer to Him, waiting and watchful for the birth of our Savior in the deepest cold of winter's night.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Clouds of Unknowing

"As the sun was about to set, a trance fell upon Abram, and a deep, terrifying darkness enveloped him."~ Genesis 15:12

"While he was still speaking, a cloud came and cast a shadow over them, and they became frightened when they entered the cloud."~ Luke 9:34

These two passages from today's Scripture readings both spoke to me.

In both passages, the people are enveloped by a cloud..in Abram's case a dark and terrifying one.
In the Gospel reading from Luke, a shadow is cast by the cloud, but it still frightens the Apostles Peter, James and John when they entered it.

These are all men used to working outdoors. Clouds and the darkness of storm clouds were not unfamiliar to them. Yet they were all frightened or terrified. Why?

Clearly, all of them recognized something supernatural about these particular clouds.

They recognized the presence of God. And it was frightening, even terrifying.

Putting myself on the Mount of the Transfiguration, I can sympathize with the Apostles.
Not only was Jesus there and speaking with Moses and Elijah, who were both long from this world and a voice from within the cloud was speaking to them.

They are imbued with a sensible "fear of the Lord, " I think, under those circumstances.

Abram, too, knew that the powerful Presence he sensed in the darkness that was emveloping him was God and he also had a respectable fear of the Lord.

Both moments were mountain top experiences. Moments that "sealed the deal," essentially. Moments of euphoria and covenant that they could look back upon and remind themselves that they had personal experiences with the God of the Universe.

And that He loved and cared for them and is faithful, even when they are not. Even when they are fearful and unknowing.

Praise You,  almighty God! Glory and praise to you.

Thank you, Lord!

Gluttony and Sloth

Gluttony and sloth. Those were the words that came to me when I asked the Lord for the root causes of my spiritual failures.

Two of the biggies, in terms of moral failings and I have allowed them both to overtake my life.

And even when it came to me that those were my sins, mortal sins that are endangering the health and well being of my heart and soul, I could do nothing about fixing them.
I am in the same place as people I know and love who are addicted to drugs or alcohol.

~That's because, my dear one, you can do nothing apart from me and these things are keeping you separate from me.~
So how do I break out of this rut? How do I actually accomplish what you want me to accomplish when I spend every moment doing things that I want to do?

Granted, I tell myself that I am doing my prayers or my spiritual readings in an attempt to justify those actions.

I have no justification for the amount of television and computer web sites I gluttonously consume while my home and work duties go undone.

That's the sloth part.
Oh, my Jesus. Blessed Mother, Holy Spirit, God the Father, St. Paul, Guardian Angel, St. Joseph and all the saints whom I love: Please help me.

Show me how to surrender to Your most holy and perfect will for my life. Then, please grant to me the fortitude, wisdom and strength to DO YOUR WILL.

God Almighty, Please forgive me for my disobedience, judgemental attitude and pride.

You have let me do what I want and I have deceived myself into thinking that there are no consequences.

But there are consequences, not the least of which is that the filth piles up in my heart, soul and home.

Oh, Blessed Mother! Please help me to clean house so that I am a fit abode for the Lord.

~Do not fear, my child. Over and over, I tell you not to fear. Yes, seek my mercy and love. Ask me for whatever you will and it will be granted, according to the Father's will.~

Oh, thank you, my Lord and my God. I ask for nothing but Your will to be done in my life.
Help me to do what YOU want.

I sometimes catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection and wonder who that ugly and hideous person is..what has become of the beauty I have consider myself to be? How did I become so prideful in my physical attributes? Or in thinking myself so smart?

Oh, Lord. Help me. I truly give it all to you, through Blessed Mother. I don't know what or if there is anything I can do for you at this point, but I offer it anyway. The sad and pathetic person I see reflected back at myself is all I have to offer.

~Tomorrow, go to Mass. Keep holy the Sabbath. Praise Me for all things in your life. Give me thanks and praise. Do not fear. I love you.

Surrendering

"Come to me with all your weaknesses; physical, emotional and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of my presence,  remembering that nothing is impossible for me." ~ Feb. 15th meditation in "Jesus Calling," by Sarah Young

I keep struggling with the same weakness and don't seem to be able to make any progress, despite my "alleged" determination to make progress.

Alleged is in scare quotes because the level of determination on my part varies greatly, depending on my comfort level with any sacrifice that might be required.

So, when I read a meditation like the one quoted above, I wonder if I am going about it all wrong? How do I surrender those areas of most concern to me?

Those areas that I want to be good at but am clearly not?
I think I have surrendered them, but when I realize how little progress I am making, I clearly have not relinquished control.

Part of the reason is that I want those areas of my life to be better before I let  God take control, I guess.

For some reason, these weaknesses seem so petty that I am sure God doesn't want to be bothered with them.

Yet, if He wants all of me, it should include those deepest weaknesses, shouldn't it?

Or perhaps, in reading Ephesians 3:20-21, it is a failure of imagination on my part to be able to grasp what God desires of me and for me.
Lord, my God and Savior. Please help me. You know what I need. You know my deepest failures and embarrassments. You know my desires, which maybe are not your desires for me. Please show me what you desire for me and then help me to get there.
Thank you.

Dying to self

"Because he clings to me, I will deliver him." ~ Psalm 91:14

Today is the feast of St. Valentine, a third century saint who was martyred for trying to convert people to Christ.
He was willing to die, literally, if it meant that one person might come to know the mighty and all encompassing love of Christ.
In our day, the meaning of such sacrifice has been largely forgotten; replaced by boxes of chocolate and flowers, or dinner at an expensive restaurant, with nary a mention of Christ or His deep and true love for each of us.
Don't misunderstand me here: I love the flowers that my husband purchases for me on Valentines Day. They are a gift from the man who has chosen to spend his life with me and who overlooks so many of my faults.
I see Christ in him, Christ choosing to speak to me through the actions of my husband.
Yet, there is nothing in such actions of the kind of self sacrificing love exhibited by St. Valentine. Or by Christ.
While we love one another deeply, we have much to learn of true love and the freedom dying to self brings.
Lord, help me to do a better job of truly loving those whom you have given me to love. Lord, let me cling to you that you might save me.

The Jesus Question

Knarly Tree

"Then the Lord will guide you always and give you plenty even on the parched land.
He will renew your strength, and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring whose water never fails." ~ Isaiah 58:11

The Jesus question is the one that Jesus asks of all his disciples, "Who do you say that I am?"

And it is one that each of us must answer ourselves. The answer of who Jesus is to me is a question that only I can answer for myself.

I guess that is probably true of all  our relationships with others. Who a friend is to me may be different than who a friend is to another person, even though both of us may deem that person a friend. Because how we interact with our friends is a deeply personal thing.

In order to find out who Jesus is to me, I had to stop everything I was doing...all the readings and writings from others whom I consider to be wiser or better informed about Jesus. I had to sit quietly and just listen to the "small still voice within" that is Jesus to me.

Yes, Jesus is my Lord and my friend. He is the small, still quiet voice within my heart telling me what I should do in any given situation, but not demanding it of me. Just advising me that it might be a better course of action to do this rather than that. The problem I have is one that I am sure everyone also has...that of quieting the many voices in our lives to listen to the quiet voice of our Lord and Friend.

I find that I have known Him deep inside of my heart for many years..since He first called me to "come, follow me." I find that I have also ignored Him on far too many occasions. But that He still considers me to be lovable and valuable. I pray that I might become the kind of friend to Him that He has always been to me...someone whom I can count on when the "chips are down," as we say.

I will need His mercy and love to be that kind of friend to Him. In order to be at His "beck and call" I will need to be more disciplined so that I listen earnestly for His voice, so that I do not find excuses to put off what He is asking of me. I need much, my Lord and my God, my Friend.

Will You help me to become the kind of friend to You that You have always been to me? Will You help me to become one of Your most loyal and dedicated servants, one that You can call on "when the chips are down?

In answer to those questions, I was inspired to read again the Mass readings for today and the verse from Isaiah above spoke to my heart...the Lord spoke to me through His living Word, written for our edification that we might always find Him. So, I find that He not only speaks to me deep inside my heart, but also through His written Word, which makes sense because He is the Word. It tells me not to limit how or when I might hear him speaking to me..that I might find it in any number of ways.

What a blessing to be loved by such a generous, merciful and loving God. Thank you, Lord, for loving me and for calling me to be One with you and for forgiving me for all my failures of love, listening and life. Please help me to do better this day.

Our Lady of Lourdes

I read an interesting meditation on this special day when we honor Mary as Our Lady of Lourdes.
It was tied to today's first reading from the book of Deuteronomy where Moses urges his brethren and children to "Choose life...by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice and holding fast to him."
The author of the meditation, Sr. Bridget Haase, O.S.U. concludes that Mary did all three of those things: she loved God, surrendered to His voice and clung tightly to Him from His birth in a manger to His death on the cross.
Oh, my Lord and God. Please help me to love you beyond telling, listen to your voice and hold fast to you as we journey into the desert this Lent.

Finding Faith

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." ~ Matthew 17:20

In stepping out in faith on this Lenten journey into the desert, I ask You, my Lord and my God, to give me this tremendous gift of faith that I might move mountains.

At this point in time, I want to move the mountains of neglected work in my life.

But, I also envision myself doing great works in, with and through You for Your glory.
I realize that I have a great distance to travel to get to the point where I am able to accomplish such mighty works as I envision, but I also know it's not me who will accomplish these deeds, but You. You who can take my yielded will and do great things.

Help me, my God, to have the faith necessary to trust in You and Your plan for me and for this world. Please give me the gift of faith.

I am a nobody. I know this fact. So, I surrender my nothingness to you that I might become a useful tool with which You will accomplish Your will.

Thank you for Your wonderful generosity and mercy in granting me one more chance, in spite of all the times I have failed You.

Thank you for the gift of Your Blessed Mother who shows me the way to become a mighty saint who will accomplish much in, with and through You for Your great glory.

Thank you for the gift of the angels and saints You have allowed to accompany me into the desert.

I will not fear, wherever You may lead. Thank you for the grace to begin the journey.

Winter Beauty

A Lost Moment in Time

A small statement in the church bulletin on All Saints Day caught my attention. It said that St. Paul didn't spend all his time doing religious or spiritual things.
Rather, he simply listened for the voice of God, did what he was commanded to do and incorporated that into his every day life. I can do that, I thought.
My Sunday and Monday were spent in the joyous ecstasy of knowing God's will for me and talking almost continuously to God from the heart. Or, as He has told me in the past, in having a real heart to heart conversation.
It was an exquisite couple of days, those moments when you absolutely positively KNOW that God is God and loves you on a deeply personal level. It is a priceless consolation and a time to be cherished.
However sweet those days are, they cannot be sustained else we would die of ecstasy.  I spent the next two days trying to hold onto the sweet memory of what had been revealed to me during those heart to heart conversations.
Still a joyous time, but more grounded. I didn't yet have the opportunity to put into practice the things I had heard.
On Wednesday evening, I received what I considered to be a command from God for the next day.  It was simple, yet not something I would do on an ordinary weekday.
I was determined to obey, however, because I was sure it was something God was asking me to do. It was to wear a certain outfit that I would normally consider too nice for just an ordinary weekday.
When I woke up on Thursday morning, however, I was distracted. I couldn't/didn't focus my prayers on Christ. I was focused on myself.  I did wear what the Lord had asked me to wear. Because He had asked it of me,  I was waiting for something special to happen. I thought I would be meeting someone whom the Lord wanted me to meet and that "something big" would happen.
So I was giddy, somewhat silly,  distracted and not ready for the big moment when it actually happened.
Or rather, I should honestly say, in the moment when I heard God's command to me:
"Smile and say hello," to a person, I lost the moment.

I panicked and found an escape route so that I wouldn't make eye contact with the person and neither smiled nor said hello.
Forgive me, Lord, for not obeying your simple command to me. It is a moment that is lost and cannot be found again.
I pray that it was a lesson God wanted to teach me and not something that will cause the person to lose faith or their soul.
It was such a simple command and I failed to do it. Forgive me, my Lord, for failing to obey your simple command to me.
There are many lessons to be found in this experience. I pray that I will have a future opportunity to obey and actually DO what God asks of me.
1) God's commands are often the really simple, ordinary things He wants us to do in our everyday life, like just smiling at someone and saying hello.
2) We must stay focused on Christ in order to do what He asks of us in a way that will be beneficial to others and to ourselves.
3) The true joys of life are found in obedience to God's commands to us.
4) While we may be called upon to do "something big" for God, we should be prepared to do the little things well on a daily basis. Those little things might turn out to be "something big."
5) Once the moment is gone, it's truly gone. You may have an opportunity to act again or you may not. Be prepared for the moment when you are called.
I shudder to think of the consequences of how I  have failed my God when I panicked and lost the moment of action, of obedience in doing God's will.
I pray that it was a lesson time;  when He was showing me that any action, when done in His will, can be a "something big" moment. And that by not doing what I was commanded, I pray I didn't cause someone to lose faith.
I pray that I will have another opportunity to smile and say hello to someone with whom the Lord wants me to speak.
Thank you, my Lord and my God for all your blessings. Forgive me for my failures and please don't give up on me. Please give me another opportunity to do what you command of me.

Fall Beauty

The Pope's Visit to the U.S.

Pope Frances has just completed speaking to the United Nations. He addressed the U.S. Congress yesterday and has made other speeches as well.

I am tired of hearing how the Pope pushes a left wing agenda. He has articulated Catholic positions.

He asked the Bishops to seek to heal divisions and in leading by example, he wasn't divisive in his addresses or harsh or "in your face."

Because of this, many pundits and commentators are calling him a Marxist or the Anti-pope or other nonsensical things. He's the leader of the Catholic Church and advocates for life, in all stages; for the poor, for humane treatment of immigrants; for the abolition of the death penalty and for good stewardship of planet Earth.

His speech at the U.N. was more explicit in articulating Catholic positions than his speech to the U.S. Congress, but both managed to get his point across. Yes, some of those positions agree with the American political left. Some of them also agree with the American political right.

But, all of them are Catholic positions and I wish people would quit disparaging our Pontiff. His positions are very similar to those Christ might have taken were He to address such august bodies.

Yes, there were times when Christ railed against things He didn't like. The over-turning of the money changers tables in the temple comes to mind. But, more often than not, Christ was kind, loving and merciful. He showed His love by healing and feeding people, not by offending them.
There were many times when Christ could have taken offense, such as the time when he wasn't offered water to bathe his feet and a woman of ill-repute washed them with her tears and dried them with her hair. Did Christ get all huffy and puffy about it? No, He took the opportunity to teach Simon about God's love and mercy.

Our Pontiff is using his time in America to show a way past the ugly, partisan divide that has paralyzed our leaders and inflicted our daily lives with strife and tension. Is Pope Frances perfect? No. He doesn't claim to be. Instead he claims to be a sinner in need of forgiveness.

I keep thinking about Jesus and  Simon Peter when He gave Him the keys to the Kingdom. Jesus knew Peter wasn't a perfect person and yet, He still trusted Peter to lead the young church. And that trust has accompanied each person who has been Pope for the history of the church.

In other words, Christ knows what He is doing. Through the Holy Spirit acting in, with and through the College of Cardinals, Christ selected another successor to Peter, upon whom He built His church and "the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it."

I can understand that some might not trust Pope Frances. I can understand that some might view the Pope's ideology through the lens of their own and find it wanting. But what I cannot understand is that Catholics of all stripes do not trust in Christ. After all, it's His Church and He has promised that it will endure. So, why not trust Him?

Into the Ark

"As it was in the day of Noah, so it will be in the days of the Son of Man; they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage up to the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all." ~ Luke 17: 26-27.

Well into the fourth week of Easter and almost into May, I realized that now is the time to "pack up" and move into the new Ark of the Covenant.
The world spins more out of control on a daily basis and we children of God must prepare ourselves for the epoch "flood" about to deluge the world.
Of course, I am not speaking of a water flood, but of a last and terrible onslaught of evil that is about to break upon us all.
As I write this:
1) Economic indicators are grim because of the debt load of virtually every nation.
2)Russia, China and Iran grow increasingly aggressive. The Chinese are building a base on some islands as a precursor to a battle with Japan; Russian military taunt other nations; Iran sits at the table talking peace but readies itself for war and intercepts ships in international waters. The U.S. does nothing.
3) The persecution of Christians grows daily with the onslaught by LGBT groups intent on forcing their way of "life" on everyone.
4)The education of our children has been co-opted by those with agendas far different than what many parents feel is appropriate.
5) Racial instigators urge altercations, especially with law enforcement,  even when no racial injustice has been committed.
6) The lies and corruption that abound in the governing class are astounding, even treasonous as our country is being sold out.
7) Natural disasters are just beginning to gear up...earthquakes, volcanos, floods, drought and undoubtedly plagues somewhere.
When taken all together, one must "read the signs of the times."
Our news outlets do little to keep us informed on the potential turmoil about to be unleashed. Rather, they do everything to convince us that all is hunky dory.  Buy another this or that, turn on the tv and don't think about it.
For too long I have ignored the signs and put off moving into the Ark. But I cannot ignore it any longer.
Of course, the new Ark of the Covenant is Mary, Blessed Mother.  She beckons us to come into her that we might be saved as she bears us to her Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Oh what sweet relief it is to find refuge in Blessed Mother. I don't pretend to think that I will be unscathed, but I know that Mary commands the angels and saints to fight for my soul. I am thankful.
My Lord, I beg forgiveness for my neglects of your commands.
Help me to go forward into the new day, prepared for the battle and thankful and joyous because I am a child of God.

Forgiveness and Mercy

Then Peter approaching asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times." ~ Mathew 18:21-22

The Wilderness

I have been a longtime fan of Tom Selleck and I am usually pleased with the characters he chooses to portray in his many movies and television shows.

So it was with utter dismay and sadness that I watched the most recent television episode of Bluebloods.

In this episode, Selleck's character Police Commissioner Regan, is called upon by a longtime friend who met with tragedy years ago when her family was brutally murdered. She was six years old at the time and the young woman is grown and about to get married. Life seems to be going well for her. She meets with the Commissioner and shows him a letter she has received from the person who committed the crime of murdering her family. She hasn't read the letter but gives it to him and asks him to read it.

She later asks him to tell her what's in it and he tells her that the criminal who is behind bars for the rest of his life wants to meet with her. It's because of a program called "Restorative Justice," that has been instituted by the penal system. The Commissioner tells her he doesn't advise it for her. He wants her to be happy and go about her life without the specter of meeting with the man who brutally murdered her family.

She leaves but later comes back and insists that she's going to meet the criminal. PC Regan tells her she isn't going alone because he can't see any good coming from this program for her, at least. He is thinking only of her and thinks that the man is playing some kind of mind game with her and that meeting with him will only haunt her for the rest of her life. She thinks that meeting him will allow her to put it behind her.

So, they go to the prison. The man tells her that he has a mental illness but that he has been properly diagnosed and because of proper medications can now realize the horror of the evil he committed against her. He doesn't expect her forgiveness but wanted to meet with her and tell her how truly sorry he is for that crime.

What comes out of the mouth of this young woman is the harshest kind of vile evil I have ever heard. She despises him and wishes that his attempts to end his life were successful. She insists on him looking at photos of the family she no longer has and jabs him with the punches that she will not be able to enjoy their company at her wedding. She asks that he attempt suicide again, only to make it a successful attempt. Her tirade is truly hateful.
Perhaps understandable, but what I failed to comprehend is that Selleck's character sat there and instead of being appalled by her spewing of this vileness merely nodded sagely, as if he completely agreed with the premises that she was extolling.

After this, the next scene is at her wedding and PC Regan gets up and extols the virtues of this young woman as if he had never heard the vile evil spewed forth by her just days before.
I found the whole episode to be a terrible example of what a "good Catholic" like PC Regan is supposed to be, what justice is and what compassion and mercy truly mean.
It could have been an example of how to forgive, how to be merciful, what compassion looks like, what Christianity and Catholicism truly is. Instead it was a cop-out to the secularism of the day.

Everyone seemed to think it was justified that she be allowed to spew hatred at the man who murdered her family, with the exception of Baker, the Commissioner's secretary. She believes people can change and tells the Commissioner so, even inviting him to fire her if she ever thinks otherwise.

I found Baker's view of the fallen nature of man to be more in line with authentic Catholic teaching. It is so difficult to forgive, especially when extreme hurt has been done. Yet, hanging onto hurt and wishing violence against another isn't healing. Instead of it being a healing event for anyone, it was the most tragic of episodes because hatred and vengeance never heal.

Only by forgiving can we escape the violence done us. Christ knows that and tries to show it by forgiving his executioners from the cross.

Heart Ignited by Love

The Shelter House

During a meditation yesterday on the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary, I was shown a vision of my heart being ignited with the fire of love for souls.

This was just what I needed because myself and a friend are beginning a ministry of reaching out to lapsed Catholics.

Although we agreed to pray together for 40 days prior to taking any action, I wasn't feeling "the love" I should be experiencing for souls that are in danger of being lost.

So, I was much relieved when I saw and felt my heart being ignited with the fire of love for souls yesterday. It is a gift from God. Try as I might, there was nothing in me that enabled me to feel this love for my neighbor. It had to come from God and it had to be given during a quiet time as I listened to Him.

Very often, I am so busy with all the prayers I think I need to be praying and the deeds I need to be dong that I often forget I must also just be quiet before the Lord and absorb His love and His goodness so that I have it to pass along to others. I am like an empty vessel when I do not take the proper time to prepare myself for whatever God has in mind for me for that day.

I also experienced a moment of total surrender prior to that moment of seeing my heart ignited with love. I have been having trouble breathing and it had gotten so severe during the previous night that I had the feeling of "impending doom" that I was nearing death. I was panicked as I lay in bed that night, struggling to adequately breath and gasping for breaths. I thought of all I have left to do or things that have been left undone by me and I was fighting it.

Then, at some point, I realized that I wasn't trusting God and His mother as I need to trust them. I wasn't and am not sure what they have in mind for me, but at some point, I just surrendered to them. If it wasn't done, it wasn't because I hadn't had the time to do so...time that I wasted. I surrendered to God's mercy and just realized that there is nothing I can do to prolong my life if God wants to take it at this time.

I felt a great sense of peace at that moment of surrender, but I also know that I have been healed. The healing isn't instantaneous, but it is coming or will come. Even if the healing is just spiritual, I am content, knowing that God and His Blessed Mother...my Blessed Mother have my life in their hands and I trust in them.

I praise you and thank you, my God and Blessed Mother for all the blessings poured out upon me. Please guide me this day that I may do your will.