Gluttony and Sloth

Gluttony and sloth. Those were the words that came to me when I asked the Lord for the root causes of my spiritual failures.

Two of the biggies, in terms of moral failings and I have allowed them both to overtake my life.

And even when it came to me that those were my sins, mortal sins that are endangering the health and well being of my heart and soul, I could do nothing about fixing them.
I am in the same place as people I know and love who are addicted to drugs or alcohol.

~That's because, my dear one, you can do nothing apart from me and these things are keeping you separate from me.~
So how do I break out of this rut? How do I actually accomplish what you want me to accomplish when I spend every moment doing things that I want to do?

Granted, I tell myself that I am doing my prayers or my spiritual readings in an attempt to justify those actions.

I have no justification for the amount of television and computer web sites I gluttonously consume while my home and work duties go undone.

That's the sloth part.
Oh, my Jesus. Blessed Mother, Holy Spirit, God the Father, St. Paul, Guardian Angel, St. Joseph and all the saints whom I love: Please help me.

Show me how to surrender to Your most holy and perfect will for my life. Then, please grant to me the fortitude, wisdom and strength to DO YOUR WILL.

God Almighty, Please forgive me for my disobedience, judgemental attitude and pride.

You have let me do what I want and I have deceived myself into thinking that there are no consequences.

But there are consequences, not the least of which is that the filth piles up in my heart, soul and home.

Oh, Blessed Mother! Please help me to clean house so that I am a fit abode for the Lord.

~Do not fear, my child. Over and over, I tell you not to fear. Yes, seek my mercy and love. Ask me for whatever you will and it will be granted, according to the Father's will.~

Oh, thank you, my Lord and my God. I ask for nothing but Your will to be done in my life.
Help me to do what YOU want.

I sometimes catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection and wonder who that ugly and hideous person is..what has become of the beauty I have consider myself to be? How did I become so prideful in my physical attributes? Or in thinking myself so smart?

Oh, Lord. Help me. I truly give it all to you, through Blessed Mother. I don't know what or if there is anything I can do for you at this point, but I offer it anyway. The sad and pathetic person I see reflected back at myself is all I have to offer.

~Tomorrow, go to Mass. Keep holy the Sabbath. Praise Me for all things in your life. Give me thanks and praise. Do not fear. I love you.