My disobedience

I have been so disobedient, Lord. Please forgive me. It is an addiction that I must overcome in order to be more loving to you and to all people. I heard you clearly urge me to come and sit and write tonight. Yet I decided to just watch one more program on the television and then I fell asleep during it.
How very sad for me, Lord. For I have hurt you deeply by my refusal to listen to you and by my insistence on wasting my time before the television.
Please, Lord. Forgive me once again and help me to overcome this addiction. It must be the same for my husband who is addicted to booze or for anyone addicted to pills. Oh Lord. Please strengthen me so that I realize how very much I disappoint you and hurt you when I disobey you like that. Let me love you more and more so that I never want to hurt you and will do anything to not hurt you.
I need you so much and I need to be able to call upon you in situations like those of today when I was hurt by my coworkers and instead of praying for them I resorted to wishing them ill. I justified their beliefs in me by my actions immediately following their rudeness.
I will need your help and guidance that I may show them you tomorrow instead of my pitiful self. Oh Lord. I am so sorry for this and all my neglects of your commands this day. Please allow me to hear you ever more clearly and to act immediately on your requests and commands instead of putting it off like a wilful and disobedient child.
I am ashamed of my actions following the ill will of my coworkers. I did exactly what they were laughting about behind my back just because I knew that is what they were laughing about. It was an "Ok, I'll show them." How very sad for me and also for them.
Lord, please show me how to handle this. Please help me to cut through the crap and expose their actions as well as my own in this matter.
You know, when I began this venture, I did so because I want to work for you. Just for you. Yet my actions and inactions of this day show me that I am a poor worker indeed and have much to learn if I want to be your employee.
Please forgive me Lord and inspire me with the correct course of action for tomorrow; the course of action you would have me take as your employee. As I sleep this night, please show me what I should do because I am working for you.