Advent Day 17

Oh, my Lord! I am so much in need of your mercy. I am such a faithless servant...neglecting you for wasteful time spent in pursuit of worldly concerns.

Please forgive me and help me to do better this day. 

I love you, even if I have a difficult time staying on course. 

Advent Day 16, 2019

Blessed be the Lord, oh my soul! I am so very thankful and joyful this evening, my Lord!

Advent Day 15, 2019

What beautiful vistas you give me, my Lord and God. 

Thank you.

Advent Day 14, 2019

Thank you for everything you do my Lord and my God. Thank you for your love. 

I offer to you the small sufferings I experienced today and ask that you remind me to be ever grateful for EVERYTHING You send my way, including physical aches and pains.

Advent Day 13, 2019

Today I felt such sadness and such thankfulness at the same time.

A friend shared a with me that her daughter wants to have no contact at all with her. My heart breaks for her.

At the same time, I am so thankful and grateful that the Lord has not asked this suffering of me. 

Lord, please lift this burden of pain from my friend and her daughter. Heal their brokenness and let them joy in one another.

Also pour out your blessings on my children and let them know how very much they are loved. 

Advent Day 12, 2019

Bless the Lord, Oh my Soul! Even when clouds cover the heights and the winds blow cold.

11 Day of Advent, 2019

"I will bless the Lord who gives me counsel,

In the night also my heart instructs me.

I keep the Lord always before me because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved." ~Psalm 16: 7-8

Thank you, my God and my Savior. Help me to do better tomorrow at loving those you have given me. Amen.

10th Day of Advent, 2019

The astounding beauty of Your love for this world and your children  especially me astonishes me daily. These photos of this mountain are a different view of the same mountain. 

My gift to you...an attempt to capture this beauty via a photograph. 

Ninth Day of Advent, 2019

To hear that God loves you and forgives you is one of the best blessings I have ever received.

Thank you, my Lord and my God for the gift of confession. It is wonderful to unburden oneself and hear that you love and forgive me.

Advent Day 8, 2019

"May the mountains bring forth peace for the people and the hills, justice." Psalm 72: 3

7th Day of Advent, 2019

"Then He summoned his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits to drive them out and to cure every disease and every illness." ~Matthew 10:1

One of my prayers has been to be given the grace to heal "every illness." This passage from today's Gospel reading gives me pause. Perhaps I need to pray for the authority to heal...or perhaps it is not a gift for me? 

Please give me your guidance here, my Lord and God, that I may know if I am praying for something that is not your will for me.

Although in the same reading, you speak of the harvesters being few. I do wish to be of help in finding souls for You..and helping them find you. 

Does that mean I need the gift of Your authority? If so, and if it be your desire, please grant that to me.

I love you my Lord and my God. Please help me to always seek you first in all situations. 

6th Day of Advent, 2019

My soul rejoices in God my Savior!

Thank you my Lord for this day. Thank you for all the blessings of this day.

5th Day of Advent, 2019

Yesterday my aunt died. She was elderly and ready to let go of her life here on earth but she wasn't a believer.

Still, as I was sitting beside her deathbed, I offered prayers for mercy and prayers that she would die peacefully.

She did. She just let go and slipped from us as we were remembering her life.

It was poignant and sweet.

"Trust in the Lord and He will help you."

~Proverbs 20:22

3rd day of Advent, 2019

Advent, 2019 First Monday

"Oh, Lord, I confess your great power. If you are powerful, as you are, what is impossible for you who can do everything?" ~St. Teresa of Avila

The thrust of St. Teresa's petition in this writing is for her salvation because she thinks she has responded late to His call.

I, too, have responded late and often times only half heartedly to your call, My Lord. Forgive me and guide me to living fully your call this day.

My Child,

You know how much I love you and desire all good things for you. You have felt the power of my love in your life and are aware of it even when you are neglectful of my wants, needs and commands. 

Although you may not see the progress you make, you are climbing my mountain and streaming toward Zion.

I do forgive your transgressions. Be at peace and continue the climb.

"The Lord is not scandalized by our unworthiness; he looks for the faith that welcomes his presence." ~ Magnificat, 2019; Vol 21, No. 10 pre Mass verse for Monday, Dec. 2.

Advent 2019, Day 1

It's been a year since our daughter died.

I have missed her so much. The pain of losing my firstborn child is indescribable and yet I would not have missed it for anything. 

The fourth joyful mystery speaks to my heart this day as I remember that Mary was forewarned of the heartbreak she would experience when her firstborn will suffer death. 

Blessed Mother, please help me to help others who may suffer the loss of a child, as you have helped me.

Interesting Lives

"In our culture, we seem more interested in pretending we live interesting lives than in actually living interesting lives."

~Matthew Kelly

This snippet caught my attention today and because it speaks to my heart, I find I must examine why it does.

Am I such a pretender? Truth be told...yes. My life is not interesting. It's pretty laid back and quite uninteresting.

I am, however, entering into a new phase and hope that there are some exciting adventures in the Lord awaiting us as we head into this new phase of life.

Lord, please lead me to where you want me to go.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight."~2 Corinthians 5:7.

The Beginning of the Lenten Journey

"Working together, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain."

~2 Corinthians 6:1

Barren and without apparent life, we head into the desert to be purged, purified and tested in life's crucible.

We will walk together, the Lord and I, searching for meaning as we struggle to survive. Searching for answers to the questions which plague our minds, searching for the goals of which our hearts dream.

Better Perspective

"In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins." ~ John 4:10

Over the past month since our daughter's passing and the "waking dream" of her being released from the cage, I have been given new perspective into the meaning of the cage.

It is this: the cage was a place of safety and protection where she rested as she was dying until Our Lady went to fetch her at the moment of death.

The cage was protection from the demons who sought her soul and wanted to drag her into the depths of hell.

Prayers, her good deeds and the reception of the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation kept her from being devoured until Our Lady could fetch her, bringing her before Our Lord for her particular judgment at death.

While I fretted about this, it was actually a Gift from God. Another gift...the first was that He was given to us as expiation for our sins because God loved us.

I kept thinking that because she had been angry with God and not been faithfully practicing our faith that God would judge her harshly. I judged her more harshly than God. Forgive me, Lord.

Yet, His mercy is hard to fathom. He truly loved her and saved her because of that love, because he will not lose any that have been given to him. 

Thank you, my Lord for these insights. They give me joy and peace.

Caged and Freed

Dec. 3

I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will tell of your name to my kin. Ps 18 (17):50; 22 (21):23

One of the things that has been bothering me since my daughter's death has been an image I've had of her after her death.

She was suspended in a cage in a place that was neither heaven nor hell, but it was not a good place. It wasn't a place she knowingly chose for herself. Perhaps it was built by actions or inactions during her life, but she didn't really know what to do to get out. She was just there.

Maybe limbo is a good word for it, although I don't think that is what official church teaching means regarding limbo.

Nevertheless, that is the image that has haunted my thoughts during moments when I have quieted my heart to listen and opened my eyes to see.

I didn't know what to do either and initially was afraid to ask, fearful that the time for freeing her had passed.

But it continued to haunt me so I finally did ask the Lord how to free my daughter from the cage.

Within a short time after asking, I felt compelled to pray the Rosary and oh, I am so happy that I did! 

While praying it, the image came to mind again as well as images of demons circling the cage.

Then, here came the Queen of Heaven herself to set my daughter free from the cage! She was accompanied by St. Michael and our Guardian Angels and my beautiful baby was freed from the cage and carried to a place of safety, where she rests in the presence of Our Lady.

My daughter rests there, content for now but  waiting. 

Thank you, Blessed Mother, St. Michael and our Guardian Angels for freeing my daughter from the cage.