True friends

I have always considered myself to be a true friend to those people I call my friends.
It hurts when they don't reciprocate. Or maybe their definition of being a true friend is different. I don't know, but I do know that the pain I feel being "betrayed"by a "true friend"is some kind of awful.
This has always been a sure way for me to identify with Christ, for He, too, was betrayed by friends.
Judas, of course. But also by Peter who denied even knowing Him.
I wonder if much of the agony He felt was from knowing He would experience this essential rejection of everything for which He had lived His life. By people who loved Him and whom He loved.
I am not the best person in the world and I do have many faults and failings.
Yet, I ask Jesus and His Blessed Mother to pray for me that I might forgive those who have injured me by betrayal. People whom I considered to be my friends,  but who hurt me by not being the friend I needed.
I guess maybe I need to be granted the grace to love them for who they are and not feel betrayed when they don't meet that need.
Today's photo is of Vedauwoo.

Still down

I am still not feeling well, so I don't have anything to share.
I offer my illness up for anyone who is sick. Please, dear Lord, exchange my illness for health for someone in need today.
Thank you.
Another photo of Vedauwoo.

Being Sick

Being ill looks a lot different from the inside than it does from the outside.
I wasn't as sympathetic to my little grand darlin's as I should have been this week when they complained about how bad they felt.
May the Good Lord remind me of how very badly I feel today the next time I am tempted to dismiss the symptoms of another who is ill.
Today's photo is of the very cool rock formations at Vedauwoo National Recreation Area. I took it after I had met my son for the kid swap and before my symptoms became full blown flu.

Anger

I don't know what it is about neediness that brings out the bully in me.
But, tonight I realized that I can be and therefore am a bully.
Lord, have mercy on me for this horrendous trait.
Blessed Mother, please pray for me that I might overcome this terrible trait.
Please ask our Lord, your most holy and merciful Son, to pour out blessings of love and kindness on those towards whom I direct my bullying.
Because I have asked for and received an exchange of Hearts and minds and wills with Blessed Mother, I ask that you heal the wounds I have inflicted by such smallness and meanness of spirit towards those whom I love the most.
Please grant to me the graces I need to become a more loving and kind and merciful person.
Today's photo is of clouds hovering over the mountains while a brisk breeze blows across the water.

Taking time to pray

I have been using my grandchildren's visit as an excuse to not keep to my daily prayer regimen.
And to forget the penitenial nature of the Lenten season.
I find myself falling backwards into the zombie like state of mind/being where I don't accomplish my daily duties, but sit before the television, being blasted by the voices of evil emanating from that box.
Even worse, I allow the grandkids to also be exposed to it. My children learned to sit before the tv from me and have passed it along to their children. What an awful legacy I have given to them.
Even as I write this, I allow myself to be inundated by the noise, the immoral plots and themes of what I try to justify as entertainment.
Lord, have mercy on me and on my children and grandchildren. Please bless them with the graces to break this unhealthy behavior. Unhealthy for the soul, that is.
Blessed Mother, I surrender this behavior to you and ask that you exchange it for a holier behavior that is much healthier for body and soul.
Today's photo is of my oldest grandson fishing on a cold, blustery spring day.

Enjoying the Day

Today we are enjoying the outdoors with our grandchildren.
We are blessed to be able to spend time with them, although it has disrupted my prayer schedule.
I have surrendered the week to the Lord and Mary, though, and hope they realize my offering of the day and our activities is the prayer.
I am trying to keep my calm and peace even when the little darlin's test my patience. :-D
Anyway,  we are blessed to be able to spend some time showing them how to fish. So many children these days have no experience of the outdoors. My grandchildren, too, spend too much time inside when they are home.  City living is so different than small town rural living, where kids can play outside, using their imaginations to create forts or ride their bikes to the park. In the cities where they live, they spend their time safe inside, but exposed to the violence of television and video games.
The weather today would be considered by some to be brutal.
Fortunately, we are basking in the sun, sheltered from the wind by a solid row of willows.
It roars as it passes overhead and once in a while, it sneaks up and changes direction giving us a "refreshing" blast of cool air. It reminds us that but for the willow windbreak, it would leave us as clean as the sun-bleached, wind-scoured bones of creatures who succumbed to winter. 
When the wind blows clouds in front of the sun, the temperature drops noticeably, however. Undoubtedly, a spring squall is moving through.
Patches of blue  run across the sky, surrounded by mean gray clouds.
Thank you, Lord for all your blessings.
A photo of the clouds today.

Surrendering All

Today I made an Act of Consecration to our Blessed Mother.
I wrote it down and signed it and dated it.
I hope to surrender each day to Mary and to rejoice in the love she and the whole heavenly retinue have for me.
I give you everything, Blessed Mother, especially today my love for my country.
I pray that you will influence the US Supreme Court to act in accordance with God's will in the matter of the individual mandate.
Thank you for your blessings today.
Help me to live my consecration more fully each day.
Today's photo is fishing with the grandchildren.

Vigil of the Assumption

Today is the vigil of the Assumption and the night before my Marian consecration.
I have my grandchildren with me today and will have them tomorrow.
Because it will be hectic and not a calm and meditative type of day, I take the time tonight to ask Mary to exchange my faulty heart for hers and to ask that on the day of Consecration, she comes with us as we share in family outings.
Blessed Mother, I know I have let you down and disappointed you and your most holy and perfect Son.
Still, please pray with me for forgiveness for my faults and failings. Ask Jesus to love us all in spite of those things that are disappointing and sinful.
Help us to trust in His mercy and love.
Today's photo is of Elk Mountain, from the east, looking westward.

Blessings

We have our grandchildren with us this week for their spring break.
They are so full of life and are such a joy. Admittedly, they are full of energy and fun. They keep us hopping and it's only after they leave thay we feel exhausted.  LOL.
We are blessed to have six grandchildren so far.  Four if them are with us this week. We don't get to see them as much as we would like, so we take full advantage of the chances we do get.
In preparation for my Marian consecration on Tuesday, March 25, I have been meditating on the love Mary has for each of her children.
Undoubtedly, this includes grandchildren as well. I will share mine with her, as I share my children and other family members.
Oh, Blessed Mother. I place in your most Immaculate Heart the love I have for my children and grandchildren.  I know that you will keep them deep in your heart of love.
Please help me to guide them to Your Son that they might partake of the salvation He purchased for them with His life.
A photo of my four youngest grandchildren, enjoying a swim in the pool.

Mercy

Oh, my Lord! I am in need of your mercy.
Today, during a heart to heart conversation. I heard you tell me that television is a way that evil enters my life.
And yet, when I got home and my husband had it on,  I sat down and began watching it.
Thoughtlessly. At first, any way. Then, I was reminded of our earlier conversation.
You would think that I would immediately turn it off.
But, I didn't.  I am addicted to watching certain shows.
I need your help in overcoming this addiction, my Lord and God. I turn it over to our Blessed Mother so that she can exchange it for something much more edifying to me and for you.
Thank you, my Lord and God for your mercy and your help.
Today's photo is of a low lying photo on the mountains.

Lapses

I don't know why I can seem to do well in regards to Lenten sacrifice, and then think I deserve a reward for doing well.
I have blown my sacrifices tonight after doing well with my fast.
I have relapsed back into old habits and choices.
Forgive me, Lord.
And now I feel physically ill. I am also spiritually ill.
Please help me, Lord, and have mercy on me.

My spiritual director/friend

Today I met once again with a friend whose relationship with me is primarily spiritual.
We have come slowly to the place where we could share our spiritual thoughts and experiences.
In my younger years, I could become quite annoyed with her. I am sure that I was just as annoying to her as she was to me. I have discovered that those kinds if things are usually mutual, even though I do not consider myself to be annoying. (Huge eye roll.)
At any rate, as the years have passed by and we both have mellowed with age and are no doubt tempered by wisdom, we have become spiritual sisters.
We can enjoy a spiritual discussion without having to be "right" in our point of view. Indeed, I have found that the person I used to find so annoying actually is quite deep spiritually and has some astute insights.
I consider this to be a gift from the Lord, or perhaps Blessed Mother or maybe both.
That they could arrange that my friend and I could meet at a certain point on the journey is remarkable. The journey that I began when I viewed it from atop the mountain and that looks so different when faced up close.
That our hearts and minds are so similar and that we both thirst for a deeper relationship, with God and with each other, is nothing less than miraculous.
Thank you, my Lord and thank you blessed mother, for giving me spiritual direction. I wouldn't have thought of this person as a spiritual director, but I see the wisdom of your choice.
Thank you and praise you.
Today's photo is of the mountains to the east of my town, covered in snow.

Feast of St. Joseph

Dear Lord,
I thank you so much for the gift of twin sons who were born on the Feast of St. Joseph.
Although I was Catholic at the time, I was a fairly recent convert and hadn't yet made the acquaintance of many of the saints. I knew what almost every one with even a minimal knowledge of the Bible knew about St. Joseph. He was the husband of Mary and foster father to our Lord. He was a carpenter and passed along his knowledge of carpentry to his son, Jesus.
It was only later, as I grew in my Catholic faith, that I came to a deeper appreciation of St. Joseph.
He appeals to me because  he reminds me of my own father: kind, generous and loving, albeit very human. As such, he is prone to the same faults and failings as the rest of us.
I have lately come to realize that God entrusted His most beloved--His Son Jesus and Mary--into the care of St. Joseph. Entrusted His entire plan for salvation into the human hands of Joseph and Mary. Because St. Joseph was human, he could have betrayed the Father's plan by nothing more than delayed obedience.
Something as understandable as, "Ok, Gabriel, we'll leave for Egypt first thing in the morning. "
And yet, he instantly obeyed and saved the lives of Jesus and Mary.
It is said by those more knowledgeable than I that any request asked of St.  Joseph is granted. He holds a high place in heaven and in our Lord's heart.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of St. Joseph.
St. Joseph, I ask you to intercede with the Lord for the protection and blessings of my family, especially today, on their birthday party,  my sons. I pray that they might become like you in all things, especially in devotion to Jesus through Mary.
I pray that you will ask the Lord to grace me with the gift of instant obedience, as well.
Thank you, Lord and St. Joseph.
Today's photo is of cactus that can be found almost anywhere.

Rod of Discipline

There is a story about a man who uses a rod with which to  threaten a child so the child will do as the man wants.
The man doesn't ever have to use the rod on the child, but he does brandish it occasionally when the child needs reminded that he/she isn't doing what has been asked.
The story proceeds and at the end asks if perhaps the sufferings and trying situations in which we find ourselves are in reality God's "rod."
As I ponder that, I wonder if it is true for my sons, who are both undergoing some trying times.
It is also possible that the trying times are in answer to my prayers for their salvation. Only those who have need of the Savior seek Him. Is the only way to get through to them through suffering?
Sometimes, I wonder if the Lord allows our choices so that we will find our way back to Him, when things don't work out the way we thought they would. At least, I know that it has some times worked out for me that way.
Or maybe He just takes the mess we have made of things and makes something good and beautiful and holy come out of it. I know He has also done this in my life.
I thank you, Lord, for the gift of my sons who will celebrate their birthdays tomorrow, on the Solemnity of St. Joseph.
I  also ask the intercession of St. Joseph in helping them through the trying times they are undergoing at this time.
Thank you, Lord, for all your blessings. You are My Lord and My God. I give my life to you, anew.
I liked the light and shadow  in today's photo.

Early Memory

I am not sure where this memory came from, but one of my earliest is that I seem to recall "being" before I actually was a human being.
I am in "space"  and assignments were being handed out. I don't remember my assignment, but I do remember that I didn't want to go where I was sent.
It wasn't "where the action was," so to speak. I was being sent to some insignificant backwater while important things were happening elsewhere.
My family tells me that I cried for the first two years of my life. I often wonder if it was in protest at being sent to some place I didn't want to go?
I love living here now, and I love my family although I had to learn to love the small town.
There is so much that I wish I had better appreciated when I had the chance. And there is so much I wish I had done differently, done better.
Somehow, the being in "space" is part of the journey that I have described earlier. How it all ties together, I am not yet sure. I just know that I will need forgiveness for the things I did poorly and badly as well as for the things I didn't do at all.
Lord, please guide me and enlighten me as I continue this journey so that I don't continue to make the same mistakes.
Today's photo is of the river.

Friendship and Discipline

From this evening's reading in the Liturgy of the Hours: "What I do is discipline my own body and master it, for fear that after having preached to others I myself should be rejected." 1Corinthians 9:27
Dear Lord, please grant to me the grace of self discipline that I might truly discipline myself. I could not stand to be rejected by you.
Thank you also for true friends.
Please help me to forgive those friends who are less than true, who remember not their friends when the situation changes.
Please help me also to be a true friend and forgive me for the times when I have been less than true, to You and to others.
This picture is of flowers given to me by one of my true friends, nearly two weeks ago.  Yet the blooms are still beautiful.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of the Liturgy of the Hours.

Trusting Mary

I read today that God the Father was the first to totally entrust Himself, His dreams, plans and even His Son to Mary.
It helped me to glimpse how and why I should follow His example and totally entrust myself to Mary who is simultaneously the Daughter, Spouse and Mother of God. What a wonderful thought.
Lord, I must also ask your blessings for my friend Pat.
She was angry with me tonight because of my cough. Or something. She is so desperate to always be going somewhere.  Please help me to understand her and to be patient with her.
And give me your wisdom and patience when dealing with her and my atheist cousin.
Forgive me when I am self righteous. I pray the Jesus prayer:  Lord Jesus Christ,  have mercy on me, a sinner.
Today's photo is ducks on the water.

Bad days

I had a bad day yesterday after I partook of something that I should no longer have tried.

Once I had lost my willpower,  I just kept going and going, over indulging to an extreme excess.

Today, I committed to fasting and did better. I pray for your forgiveness, my Lord and God, for the excesses I allowed myself yesterday.

I am also not very good at fasting, yet. I hope that "practice makes perfect," and that I will be granted the grace necessary to fast acceptably in the future.

Walking through the countryside, the wilderness towards the Lord is fraught  with dangers that look enticing and appealing from afar.

In all things, I need to remember that the Lord is good and merciful, eager to forgive my transgressions.

And I also need to remember that satan delights in pulling me away from the sure path that leads to the Lord.
His deceptions look sweet, but are deadly.

Lord, thank you for your many blessings. Please grant me discernment that I might recognize how hurtful it is to you when I stray off the path that leads towards you. And also please grant the grace to hold tightly to my fasts and prayer time.

Open water

A Call to Generosity

We have been without a functional heater for almost a week.
We had a weird "thundersnow storm" about a month ago, resulting in some bizarre power surges. They played havoc with appliances, including the electronic igniter in our heater.
We have struggled with repair people who didn't actually repair the heater and getting the right parts,  etc.
We are fortunate to be going through a fairly mild weather spell at the moment.  We also have small space heaters we could move from place to place to take off the chill.
It has made me be so appreciative of the many conveniences we are fortunate enough to have in our country. Heat being among those things that we expect to work at the "flip of a switch," so to speak.
As I was whining about going with minimal heat,  I felt compassion and sympathy for people who live their lives without knowing if they will have heat. Or water. Or food.
I am so blessed to live in the place I do.  Thank you, Lord!
I read a reflection today on "giving to all who ask." The author suggested (as part of a Lenten sacrifice) giving something to ALL of the people who ask. A call to action, because it's not enough to feel compassion and sympathy. I need to act on those feelings.
Giving something to everyone who asks struck me as absurd at first. I must be on every Catholic charitable organization list in the country. Give something to each of them?
But, as I have been considering the richness of my life, I have come to see that challenge as the same one Christ issued to the "rich young man" who turned away when Christ told him to give away all he had and to "Come, follow me."
I didn't even realize until writing it, but that IS what Christ is calling me to do.
Not give away all I have. Well, at least not yet.  But He is calling me to "Give something to everyone who asks."
Oh my. This is going to be a leap of faith. Lord, please help me to give of my many blessings to those in need, according to your will.
AMEN and thank you, especially for heat and hot running water.
Thank you also for teaching me how to fast.I had a more penitent fast day  today and I hope to improve on it the next time.