The Privilege of Discipleship

Muddy Creek Canyon from across the way

"But blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear." -- Matthew 13:16
The Susan G. Komen Foundation, dedicated to breast cancer research and prevention, recently changed their policy so that the money they grant will go to actual providers of mammograms and not third party referral services, such as Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood also happens to be under investigation in a number of states and that also played into Komen's decision.
The response from Planned Parenthood and its supporters can best be described as rabidly Pavlovian, a response designed strictly to intimidate and frighten any of Planned Parenthood's other sponsors from also cutting funding to the organization, whose primary business is abortion. The hierarchy of the Planned Parenthood organization knows exactly what bells to ring to bring about the Pavlovian response desired...a besmirching of the Komen Foundation with baseless smears. It did have the desired effect, however, of increasing donations...far above what Komen actually grants to the organization, and that is what I believe the intent was all along. A cold and cynical decision by PP, in my mind.
That PP should use a policy decision made by Komen's board in the best interests of  women to raise funds by sounding false alarms, using fear and intimidation and other such tactics should, in itself, be ample justification for cutting ties with PP.
In pondering this, I come back once again to the thought that perhaps Christians truly do already live in the Kingdom, for we see things so differently from those who live in the world. That must be why there is such a dichotomy between God-fearing people and those to whom government or no one but themselves is "god."
It seems no matter what issue, there exists such a huge rift...a chasm of such depths that so often there is no "common ground." I have often wondered how those who differ in opinion from myself and other like minded people can not see the Truth. I have often tried to enlighten them, but they just do not see it. They see things from their worldview only and there is no bridging the chasm that separates their view from those of Christians and other God fearing people.
Is my view Truth? I always seek God's guidance when such issues come to the fore. Because I do not wish to mislead anyone,  I try to do much praying and reading to get the actual facts of the issues before me. I seek out the Truth taught by the Church which is the pillar of authority empowered by Christ to guide us in these matters.
It seems that the commonly held worldview by those who support abortion or the euphemistic phrase of "Women's Reproductive Health" is such that they just cannot conceive that any digression from their view can possibly be a good thing. Yet, God continues to guide me towards life and the sanctity of the unborn and I trust in Him.
So, do I continue to exhort and tell of what I believe to be God's view of things? Or do I leave them alone in the world, letting them be content to continue in the world?
Lord, give me your guidance and let me hear your words.

Ah, my sweet child, such things are hard for you and I do not intend them to be. I desire that all of my children be saved and that they choose to enter into the Kingdom prepared by My Father and redeemed by Me for those who love God. I told my followers that they must be "in the world, but not of the world," and you have come upon some inkling of what that means. Yes, there is a deep division. My children can see the world view that so misleads others who choose not to believe, but those who do not believe cannot see into the Kingdom. They are blind. I saw it while on earth and gave my Father thanks and praise for hiding the truth from the wise and the learned, but revealing it to the childlike. Belief is required to open the way...to bridge the chasm. If they choose not to believe, they choose not to cross into the Kingdom of Delights that I have prepared for those who do believe and love. It is a free will choice and all need to have the opportunity to choose their path.

Do I want you to continue to tell of the Good News? Yes, I do, even if they appear not to hear. You may be surprised that your words do resound across the way and I have empowered those words to reach  souls whom I am seeking. Do not be afraid of the attacks that will come. Of course you will be attacked by evil, whose sole desire is to delude as many souls as possible. You will be protected, guided and guarded. Always seek my guidance and wisdom before your exhortations, however, never thinking that you possess the wisdom within yourself to do combat. Arm yourself with prayer, the Word of God and faith as a shield and then go forth into the day, combating the forces that seek to destroy souls. My child, I love you. Go in peace.

Praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet

Peering through the window at the snow covered deck

I join with several others of my parish community to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet on the First Friday of the month. I'm sure they pray it by themselves in addition to us praying it together on the First Friday. I have good intentions of praying it daily, but sometimes get lost in the fog of busyness that I wander into. It is such a powerful weapon to use against the evils of our day and it takes such a short amount of time to pray it that I wonder why I don't make it more of a habit? It is nice to pray it with a group of friends, though, and committing to get together once a month seems like small sacrifice, especially in light of all that St. Faustina has done for us. We also discuss Sister Faustina's Diary and there is so much spiritual depth in that book that we do not advance much in our discussions of it, yet it seems like important progress is being made in our spiritual development.
Today, we discussed how we can ever make it to Heaven if even someone as obviously holy as Sister Faustina struggled.
Her struggles leave me feeling so unworthy and not humble as I read her thoughts and get a small glimpse of her generosity of spirit and love of the Lord. She suffers such agonies of the soul over things that I would not even think twice about. Nor, apparently did many of her sisters think twice about certain things, yet she suffered these agonies willingly for the redemption of souls and for love of Christ.
One of the things St. Faustina found necessary was a good spiritual director and I am feeling like I need one as well. I don't know how to go about getting one, though. One of the people at the prayer session today said she was assigned a spiritual director when she went to a Third Order Carmelite function.
Not being a Carmelite, however, I am at a loss and have decided to ask Blessed Mother to help me find the person who will be a good spiritual director for me.
I just realized that it was a year ago today that my mother suffered a massive heart attack and died unexpectedly. I miss her still and pray that she is in heaven, helping me to get there.
Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have bestowed upon me this day. Forgive me for the neglects of the day and help me to do better tomorrow. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Sunday Gift, March 20

Items God gifted to me today

Oh my Lord. I thank you so much for everything that you have given to me. Especially the gift of these items as we were out walking today.
This photo does not even show the fullness of your gift to me as I found two more antlers as I continued on the way. I will make a better display and photograph it as my return gift to you.
As I was walking, I was concerned about a number of things...mostly that I might be wrong in my interpretation of recent events and my FB posting on the subject. I do not wish to seem arrogant in knowledge, nor do I wish to allow falsehoods to go unremarked upon. So, I was concerned until I started receiving all the gifts you were giving me. You are always so very generous and I trust that you will allow me to speak only truth when I write or blog. I ask that you humble me gently if I need humbling, and I know that I do need humbling. But, I took your gifts as a sign that Your favor rests with me in my basic inclinations.
I do trust in you, my Lord and God and also my Mother, Holy Spirit and all the angels and saints with whom I have established a friendship. I trust that all of you will guide me to the Father and allow me to only do His will.
Forgive me my failures this day, dear Lord and guide me toward an ever deepening love of you and all that must come to be. I do consecrate myself this day to the loving Immaculate Heart of Mary and to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and I ask to always be a part of those beautiful places.
I know I have many failings and even though I try, I still fall short on the offerings I am trying to give You this Lent.
Thank you, Lord.
Don't be afraid, my child, to embrace the cross. It is also a gift to you, though you may not see the wonder of it until you are down the road. Nevertheless, the cross is a gift and has always been a gift. To allow you to share in it means that you will also receive the gift of the resurrection and that is a might gift. You also want to experience the fullness of the Holy Spirit and you will find much joy in all that transpires. Do not fear. All is well.

My Conversion Story

Spectacular Sunset

My conversion to the Catholic Faith began when I was just out of high school. I had returned to the small town where I grew up and spent the summer working there while living with my grandfather. Most of my friends had gone off to college but I was "too smart" to go that route (a decision I have regretted) and so I just stayed behind and worked.
The small town is mainly a summer tourist town so once my friends had gone their separate ways, I was left pretty much alone. Of course my grandpa was there but for a young adult teen, this was not much company.
Anyway, each day I would walk to work...it was only several blocks to the resort where I was one of the remaining waitresses left to handle the fall crowds. My journey happened to take me past the Catholic church, which brought back memories.
Because I had grown up in this town, I was familiar with the church. In my younger years...about third grade or so, when the church was newly finished, my best friend and I had explored the inside of the building, climbing the stairs to the choir loft and testing out the kneelers. We didn't have kneelers at the protestant church we both attended so that was something new. While we were in there, we decided to start our own club because the "cool girls" of the third grade wouldn't let us in their club. We called it L.O.G. and it had eventually had four members. L.O.G. stood for "Lambs of God" and one of the requirements of membership was to pledge ourselves to God. I have no idea whether the name of our club was heretical or blasphemous but it was a good name, we thought, and so our club began. At this point, I should mention that the church then was a mission church and there was no resident priest to shoo us out. The doors were kept open for the faithful so we essentially had free run of the place.
We used the vacant choir loft for our clubhouse and did pray while we were having our meetings. Eventually we moved our club house to another location. I have always wondered if that first encounter with God, whom we could visibly see hanging on the cross from the vantage of our clubhouse, was when I was first "converted" or called to the Catholic faith.

The Lord has called me to live in a place where the elk roam

 Back to walking to and from work, being alone with virtually no social life and one day as I was walking, my heart started pounding fiercely when I approached the church. In hindsight, I believe this was the Lord standing at the door of my heart and knocking to be let inside. This happened several times and so one day I went inside. It was just like I remembered, except the communion rails had been removed. I looked around and knew my heart had been pounding for a reason. The church at this time was a regular parish church so I knocked on the door of the rectory, introduced myself to the kindly priest who answered the door and thus began my instruction in the Catholic faith.
Father didn't make me wait to prepare at the time of Easter, but instead began my instruction right there. He gave me books to read and told me to come back the next week. So we journeyed through the history and teachings of Catholicism until the day came when he asked me if I wanted to join the church.
I was going to start a vocational school in January, so if I was going to be baptized, it had to be then.
Even though I was afraid and still didn't know all the answers, I said yes. I found a sponsor and "took the plunge."
I am somewhat shy and when Father told me I would be baptized during Mass, I was terrified. The small church didn't have a place where you could literally take a plunge (full immersion baptism) so he had me hold my head over the baptismal fount used for infant baptisms.
I remember the day and being one of pure joy. It has remained a source of joy to me to walk into that same little church, because my husband and I now make our home in the same small town, and recall the day when God called me to be one of his own little "lambs of God."

Spurred on by Love 3-13-2011

Snow covered mountains

I read a powerful statement today. Jesus is speaking to me and He says, "In the desert, the thought of you spurred me on."  --Catholic Spiritual Direction

The meditation, of course, is from the biblical story of Jesus' 40 days in the desert, a journey each of us makes during the season of Lent as well. The rest of the comment is that we are not to fear. It is because thoughts of us in our weakness and fears spurred Jesus on to victory over the temptations unleashed by Satan for our sakes. For me. For you.
How Jesus managed to fast for 40 days is something that is beyond my comprehension as I struggle to fast for a partial day. I really need to work on my fasting.
But isn't it a wonderful thought that Jesus is thinking of me when he is struggling to get through his fast? That as I think of him to help me conquer temptation, He also thought of me when he was in the desert. It is a humbling thought but also one of great love and inspires me to greater love and intimacy with my Lord.

More snow covered mountains

Thank you so very much my Lord and Master. Thank you for this day and for all the many blessings you have bestowed upon me. Each day I am trying to draw closer to you and to perfect myself so that I might linger in your love more and more. I so long to do your will in all things. Please help me Lord as I go through this Lenten season to see with your eyes and hear with your ears. To use my hands for your work.

Good evening my sweet child,

I so long for you to love me as I have loved you. In seeking Love, you will find the whole of heaven's host awaiting you and in finding that, know that we are all one in this wonderful endeavor we call Life. Each of us is joined by powerful bonds of love to the other and so create an indomitable force. Make no mistake, the victory has been won, but there are trials and tribulations ahead for all, believer and non-believer. You must stay close to me and be wrapped within the mantle of our heavenly mother to be shielded from the devastation. Focus more on me each day and you will find that you know what you need to know when you need to know it and not before. do not fear, my child, I will not abandon you. I love you.

Quake and Tsunami 3.11.2011

An owl looks downward

An earthquake registering 8.9 on the Richter scale pummeled Japan today and was followed by an even more devastating tsunami.

Lord, have mercy on the Japanese people as they struggle through this crisis.I offer up my sufferings and sacrifices for these people, Lord. Please use anything I can give to bless them and help them through this time of trouble.
 
My little worries and concerns don't seem so important at all in the light of such tragedy.
Lord, what is going on in this world these days? Are all these weather tragedies and massive animal deaths signs that the angels have been unleased to committ the havoc prophesied in the Book of Revelation?

Are you speaking through nature to call us all to a greater repentance and deeper communion with you? The folks in some places would attribute all these signs to global warming. My mind tends to think that it is a global warning to us, not warming. Repent, repent it seems to say in ever more devastating circumstances that we are faced with as a people.
Speak to me Lord.

My sweet one,

Keep your focus on Jesus, my Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Look towards becoming prepared for whatever may happen and be not afraid. I am with you in all and through all. You need not worry about what is going on in the world. Take care of what is going on in your corner of the world and pray for those afflicted by such devastating acts of nature. Yes, pray for them and offer sacrifices for their souls. Work on perfecting yourself. Be at peace, little one.  I love you.

Ash Wednesday, 2011

Snow blankets the frozen ground on Ash Wednesday

A scripture reading I was led to this day:
"This, rather is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; Setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke; Sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; Clothing the naked when you see them and not turning your back on your own." Isaiah 58: 6-7

In fasting today, I had breakfast and then fasted throughout the day until after Mass and receiving ashes. Then I had dinner and didn't follow my fast any further than that. I essentially pigged out for most of the evening after dinner.
In seeking the Lord, I find that His version of fasting is different than I have been thinking, although I do think most people consider fasting to mean refraining from eating. The Lord's version of fasting, however, at least according to Isaiah is to do good deeds and help those in need.
My thoughts also turn this day to a conflict I am having with a fellow parishioner. We are having a disagreement regarding our web site. I do agree with her that we need guidelines for the site but it was how she presented it to me that is bothering me. She had been given a private revelation about something and I posted it on the site, which I should not have done. However, her reasoning was that because the private revelation might not stand up to ecclesiastical scrutiny, we should take it down and I agree. But then, she said that we could share the private revelation among members of our group and I am having a problem with that attitude.
I don't know if it is because she called me on the first posting or because it feels like we are sneaking around the Bishop and the authority of the Church. So, I need guidance with that, my Lord and King. What would you have me do, in true charitable fashion as You would handle the situation?

My sweet child,

It is good to have you back again in this medium. I truly delight in using your hands to spread my word. We must be ever more vigilant about it, though. So often, people looking for some type of inspiration or guidance may come seeking the wisdom I have for you and if you do not post it according to my will and schedule, it may not be here in time to benefit them. I know this has always been your problem...that is taking the time to post regularly, but please do try to post regularly. The discipline you are undertaking with the Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary, my Mother will help you with this, I hope. I, too, will help you as you continue to strive to daily work for me.

As for your other concern of this day, rest assured it is already handled. When you give to me each day and then trust that I have accepted your life, the things you have already done in this matter are what I would do, indeed are what I have done to remedy the situation. The particular ministry you have accepted, that of web site administrator is one you gave me before you even began. I will deal with issues you are concerned about. Trust me...I love you and am helping you in this ministry. Be not afraid of what may come, because I am with you in all. Go in peace, my sweet one. I love you.