For some time now, I have felt deepening resentment coming from my granddaughter.
It seems to have been slowly building over time, but now it seems that she has almost totally forsaken me.
There seems to be some resentment over books I have given her as gifts that I thought she might find enlightening. There also seems to be resentment over the other gifts I give her, as if my choice of gifts is so totally uncool that I insult her by giving them.
Things seemed to worsen this spring when her paternal grandmother died unexpectedly, leaving me as her only remaining grandmother. My son-in-law also seems to resent me, or my beliefs and has negatively influenced my granddaughter's feelings for me.
It hurts in my heart. I so want them to realize that when I give the gift of having a Mass said for them or for someone they love who is deceased, it is because that is the greatest gift I can give. It is not meant to "insult" them or to foist my beliefs on them. Even though my granddaughter was raised Catholic, my son-in-law has never been "religious" and scoffs at my beliefs, although not openly, but more snidely.
My sweet daughter, on the other hand, does believe, I think, but doesn't stand up for her beliefs because to do so would shut her out from the two people she is closest to. They do seem to shut her out of some things, and it sickens me.
I don't know what to do. I feel increased pressure to try to help "save" my children and grandchildren from the horrors that are coming to this world. I know that only a strong foundation in, with and through Christ can save them, but I think that my attempts to convert them only drive them further away from Him who is "the way, the truth and the life."
What do I do, my Lord and my God? How do I save my family?
My sweet child,
Know that I love those you love with an intensity far deeper than what you feel for them. I, too, want them to choose life and not be taken in by the allures of evil that stalk the earth.
Your anxiousness for them is a reflection of my anxiety for them. Yet it is a choice and must be freely made. You cannot force them to choose life. You can pray for them and love them in spite of the hurts they seem to inflict upon you. After all, didn't I, your Lord and Redeemer, do as much for all of the people who laughed and mocked me on the long hike to Calvary?
Do not be afraid to love them or to suffer the pain of rejection and misunderstanding. It is a suffering that you must offer up on their behalf so that they might accept the graces being poured out upon them for their eternal salvation.
Do not fear my little one. Especially, do not fear that you will be unloved by your family members. Love them powerfully in the inmost recesses of your heart and do not fear to be humiliated or mocked or hated. It does hurt more coming from those you love, but in that you resemble your Lord, who was mocked, hated and spat upon by those people whom He most wanted to save.
For now, speak no words except in the depths of your heart and soul. Use the gift of heart to heart communication I have bequeathed you to speak to your granddaughter's heart. Keep speaking there and know that all is well.
I love you with an everlasting love and I take your concerns upon my shoulders. I will help you with this burden.
Be at peace, my child. I love you.
Thank you, my Lord and my God. Thank you for showing me Your Glory in the beauty of fall colors and for enabling me to get some photos of it.
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